Love is one of the most universal human emotions, although it is difficult to define. You usually know it when you feel it. A simple look at the person might elicit intense feelings of affiliation and affection. You might also feel compelled to make that person happy because love is both a sensation and an action. To help you understand more about how to love someone read this article further.
What does it mean to love someone?
To love someone is to prioritize them and to value your relationship with them.
When you love someone deeply, you are drawn to them for reasons other than their appearance. Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and creative intimacy are all part of the intimacy. It implies that you both bring and share happiness with your companion.
You become extremely generous, empathetic, and grateful to your spouse when you love them.
How to show love
How can you love someone you’ve never met before? Give the gift of being a good listener to your partner. Carolina Pataky, PhD, LMFT, CST, co-founder of the Love Discovery Institute and marriage therapist, tells mbg that staying present during interactions with your significant other is crucial.
“Make an effort to give your mate your entire attention,” Pataky advises. She goes on to say that you can show love by “putting your phone away” and not letting work, emails, TV, or the news distract you from spending time with your partner. Maintain a “complete connection and engagement in the action or moment together” instead.
#2. Use your words
One method to convey love, according to Annie Hsueh, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in couples counselling, is to just tell them. “It seems so basic, yet we don’t do it nearly enough,” Hsueh says. “You don’t need to give a long speech or be the most eloquent speaker. Your partner most likely enjoys interacting with you, which involves chatting to you!”
Making eye contact or physical contact with your spouse while telling them “exactly how much they mean to you” and “how much you love and cherish them,” according to Hsueh, maybe “extremely powerful.”
Pataky agrees, adding that being precise about unique times you’ve had or positive characteristics you admire in this individual can assist. “I love you because of how supportive you’ve been during these difficult times at work,” you might add. If saying these things out loud is too difficult, Pataky suggests writing them down.
#3. Say thank you
Gratitude has been shown to have numerous emotional and physical advantages, and this extends to love relationships as well. Take the time to express gratitude to the person you care about, even for “little” actions like bringing out the garbage and doing the dishes. Nobody wants to be taken for granted, and praising your partner on a frequent basis will guarantee that this does not happen. True gratitude, according to gratitude researcher Amie M. Gordon of the University of California–Berkeley, entails more than a brief “thank you.”
“Appreciating not just what your spouse does but who they are as a person” is part of Gordon’s concept of thankfulness. “You’re grateful not only that your partner takes out the trash; you’re grateful that you have a companion who understands how much you despise taking out the trash.”
#4. Express interest
It’s a timeless approach to demonstrate your affection and a fundamental form of connection to express interest in someone’s life. This is one of the fundamental findings of John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, whose work at The Gottman Institute has paved the way for popular marriage counselling paradigms.
Ask questions about your partner’s everyday activities to “understand what is happening in their environment,” advises Bob Navarra, Psy.D., for The Gottman Institute. “We forget to check in with our partner from time to time, or we don’t reply to their attempts to connect. This might cause major damage to the relationship over time. ‘How was your day?’ is a simple question that can be asked.”
#5. Notice what they need
When you pay close attention to your partner, you’ll notice how you can probably make their life a little easier. If your partner has been stressed or overworked recently, for example, you could organize a relaxing day at the spa, according to Hsueh. These kinds of gestures are unique because they are considerate. They demonstrate that you’re paying attention to what’s going on.
“Being aware is the key here,” she explains. “They may have dropped hints about how they’re doing or something they’ve been thinking about lately, whether unwittingly or purposely. Your paying attention to them will translate into something that makes them feel heard, and someone who feels heard will undoubtedly feel loved.”
#6. Do them a favour
It doesn’t necessarily have to be anything romantic like a spa day to make your partner’s life easier. According to Pataky, it can also be quite practical and compact. “Actions of service” refers to these selfless acts of kindness.
“If your partner is having a bad day, try cooking them dinner or picking up the dry cleaning,” she suggests. “Assist them in freeing up some time after a long, stressful day so they can do something they enjoy.”
Getting up early to make them coffee or getting their car to be washed are other instances of acts of service. Even doing the laundry can be considered a loving act!
#7. Physical affection
Of course, being sexual is one way to express love but physical affection is about much more than sex, and nonsexual contact can be among the most personal. Hugs, holding hands, spooning, toying with each other’s hair, and massage is all examples of this. It is entirely dependent on your partner’s preferences.
“Physical touch can be an aspect of feeling the intimacy and affection that you are seeking or wanting to give your partner in a relationship,” Pataky explains. “It’s crucial to talk to your partner about what kind of physical touch they prefer.”
#8. Quality time
You may wind up spending a lot of time with your partner depending on your employment and living environment. But how much of that time is spent on a purpose, with both of you fully present in the situation and engaging as a couple? Quality time can be hard to come by these days, what with smartphones, Netflix, housework, and (for some couples) children.
However, doing something together can be a good way to show your affection and build intimacy. Cook a new meal together, attempt a new activity, or simply go on a walk. Hanging out with your lover at home and chatting no phones allowed can also be considered quality time. The most important thing is to schedule time for you and your partner to do something you both enjoy. According to a study, sharing these experiences pulls couples closer together. To ensure that quality time is consistent, you might wish to set up a regular “date night” each week.
#9. Give a gift
Gifts are a meaningful method to convey love to your partner since they serve as a “visual reminder of the love you hold for them,” according to Pataky. “Many people believe that giving presents is all about how expensive or flashy they are, while in reality, it is all about the motive. It’s a gentle reminder to your partner that you’re thinking about them and keeping your eyes open for items they might like. Buying them a modest gift at the checkout counter or plucking a wildflower you observed on your walk to your car might go a long way in reminding your partner of your affection for them.”
#10. Write it down
Thoughtful words are nice, but a handwritten note is even better. That is a beautiful reminder of your love that can be preserved indefinitely. “In today’s text/email/social-media-saturated lives, nothing surpasses a homemade letter, card, or note,” Hsueh says. “There is a lot more to writing to your lover than just writing.” According to her, it also necessitates a high level of detail and vulnerability. “It takes more time, energy, and effort than simply reading a text. It takes a lot of thought to write your love letter.”
#11. Surprise them
Surprises have the capacity to shake up your daily routine and leave your spouse with a lasting impression. Surprises don’t have to be extravagant or extravagant, contrary to popular belief. It could be something as simple as a home-cooked meal on the table. The fact that it was unexpected is essential since it demonstrates that you took the initiative to plan something on your own.
“The tried-and-true flower delivery is always there,” Hsueh says, “but if you’re searching for a more creative alternative, consider what your spouse likes or needs.” You may, for example, create a personalized care package filled with their favourite goodies and give it on a special occasion such as Valentine’s Day or their birthday. “When putting together a care package for a loved one, keep their hobbies, desires, and likes in mind.”
#12. Be gentle during conflicts
It’s critical to work with difficulties as they emerge, but that doesn’t mean love shouldn’t be there when you do so. Yes, there are respectful ways to disagree. Successfully married couples, according to the Gottman Institute’s studies, adopt a few distinct actions during arguments. To begin, students refrain from pointing fingers and instead concentrate on their own needs: “I” expressions are crucial. Also, refrain from using broad generalizations such as “you always” or “you never.”
It’s also crucial to refrain from closing down, acting defensive, or engaging in hostile behaviour. Instead, Navarra suggests handling disagreements with “mutual respect, humour, interest, and transparency,” as well as acknowledging your partner’s point of view.
#13. Practice accountability
The truth is that both persons play a part in many marital disputes. Taking responsibility for one’s own actions is an important part of loving someone. Accepting responsibility for your mistakes, apologizing, and accepting that your partner is correct are all challenging tasks that necessitate humility and vulnerability. Make an effort to demonstrate to your partner that you aren’t afraid of a little discomfort if it means doing the right thing.
Accountability is reciprocal, as well. When your partner makes a mistake, you must hold them accountable. Fear of offending someone’s feelings does not serve anyone well.
#14. Give them space
Codependence is love without limitations. Setting limits entails recognizing where one person ends and the other begins, with time and space being a key part of this separation. You must allow your partner the opportunity to prioritize their own wants and interests in order for your relationship to be strong, even if that means taking some alone time to focus on their own life their career, health, friendships, or creative activities. Neither member in a relationship should feel always responsible for their spouse’s happiness, especially if it comes at the expense of their own. Encourage your partner to look after themselves and convince them that you will always be there for them.
Love can be expressed in a variety of ways. Learning what your partner requires is critical, but so is understanding how your partner expresses his or her love. Allowing your insecurities to control you is not a good idea. If you find yourself repeating things like, “If he/she loved me, he/she would have…” Certainly not. Just because someone doesn’t speak the same love language as you doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Be appreciative of what they do for you and how they do it.
The universal language is love. It can be expressed in a variety of ways. Allow yourself to say as many things as you can in your relationship. Love is, after all, love!
What are the 5 ways to show love?
We all give and receive love in 5 different ways: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch
How do you fall in love with someone?
6 Scientifically Proven Ways to Make Someone Fall for You
- Maintaining eye contact. …
- Be interested in who they are as a person and listen to everything they say. …
- Make them feel appreciated and special. …
- Smile a lot. …
- Touch them more often. …
- Embrace what the other person is most passionate about.
What 3 things make a relationship?
All strong relationships have three things in common, according to Meredith Hansen, Psy. D, a psychologist and relationship expert: trust, commitment and vulnerability. “Trust allows a couple to know that their partner is there for them, truly cares about them, is coming from a good place, and supports them,” she said.