Although sex is a crucial component of a romantic relationship, physical contact as a love language is about more than just sex. An embrace, a shoulder squeeze, a handhold, or even a pat on the back can all be equally important expressions of love to your partner.
Don’t worry if you’re in a non-sexual relationship or if you’re unable to have sex with your spouse due to distance, postpartum, or PTSD. We look at simple techniques to give and receive physical touch with your spouse, no matter where you are (physically or mentally).
Physical Touch Love Language
One of the five love languages is physical contact, which relates to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical intimacy, and other forms of a physical connection. Kissing, embracing, holding hands, and having sex are all examples of physical touch love language.
Touch being a love language means that tiny physical gestures, such as a spouse putting their arm around your shoulder in public or snuggling up close to you on the couch while watching TV together, mean a lot more to you than presents or uttering “I love you.”
Physical touch is pleasurable for a physiological reason, according to certified marriage and family therapist Kiaundra Jackson, LMFT, of KW Couples Therapy: “Skin-to-skin contact causes the release of particular hormones associated with pleasure and bonding.”
“Physical touch may or may not be someone’s love language, but they like the release of the ‘feel-good hormones’ our bodies emit, such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin,” Jackson tells mbg. “The bonding hormone is known as oxytocin. That hormone is also released by a newborn baby and its mother, which is why skin-to-skin contact after childbirth is highly advised for bonding.”
There are many ways to show love to your partner. You can show up to support them at an important fundraiser. You can buy them a gift just because you thought of them. Also, you can squeeze their hand when they are having a stressful day.
Physical touch is just one of the five love languages, according to Dr Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages. The others are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gift-giving/receiving. All five are important, but since we all give and receive love differently. It’s important to know what you and your partner prefer in order to express your appreciation in the best possible way.
If your love language is physical touch, then that means you prefer physical expressions of love over all over expressions. This may seem self-explanatory, but there are both intimate and non-intimate touches that can and should be used to show your partner love.
Physical Touch VS. Sex.
You don’t have to be all about sex if you have physical touch as your love language.
“It’s natural to think that when someone says their love language is physical touch, it means sexual touching,” says psychotherapist Rhonda Richards-Smith, LCSW, in an interview with mbg. “Physical contact is likely one of your love languages if you find your partner’s touch pleasant, relaxing, and giving you that additional boost you need.”
Similarly, just because you enjoy sex and desire a lot of it doesn’t mean physical touch is your preferred method.
“Physical touch can, but does not have to, entail sex,” Jackson explains. “Simply express your want for more sex. Say something else if you want something other than sex.”
Physical Touch Love Language Long Distance
If you’re long-distance, cuddling, kissing, and holding hands isn’t an option, but video chats have made it possible to be together when you’re not actually together.
Make sure you give your companion your entire attention when you’re video chatting with them. Take a seat somewhere peaceful. Shut down the television. To demonstrate that you’re physical with them, make eye contact and utilize inviting body language.
A video date, according to Silva, is a good idea. Set a date and time as if you were in the same location, and do everything you would if you weren’t communicating via the internet. Dressing up, setting up candlelight, and preparing wine or champagne are examples of this. Make a video of what you’d regularly do.
Blowing each other kisses, sending them presents that physically remind them of you (such as a hoodie, a plush animal, or a sachet of your perfume or fragrance), and talking about physically touching each other are some other ways to show physical touch from a distance. Although it may not be the same as the real thing, long-distance couples should use their imaginations as a powerful tool.
Physical Touch Love Language Ideas
The physical touch of love language isn’t just reserved for couples or significant others. People who “speak” this love language simply enjoy human contact, whether it’s with a hug after a long day or just sitting near someone.
- Wake up a few minutes early, roll over, and lie with your head on his chest
- Wash his back for him when you’re both in the shower
- Kiss him goodbye
- Kiss him hello
- Squeeze his butt when you give him a hug
- Give him a hug from behind when he’s working in the kitchen
- Give him a light touch as you walk past
- Go for a walk and hold hands as you do so
- High five or fist pump when something good happens
- Cuddle up on the couch
- Have him lie with his head in your lap as you’re watching television
- Play with his hair as he’s lying in your lap
- Scratch his back gently
- Hold his hand when you go for long drives
- Sit close enough that your thighs touch when you’re in public
- Let them sit on your lap while you read to them
- Style their hair for them or help them get dressed
- Give them a surprise piggyback ride around the house
- Hold their hand while shopping together
- Cuddle them to help them fall asleep
- Schedule a manicure or pedicure for yourself
- Snuggle with pets at your local shelter
- Spend five minutes stretching after you wake up
- Get a haircut and enjoy the complimentary head-massage
- Sleep with a weighted blanket
Gift for Physical Touch Love Language
For people with this love language, affectionate touches, hugs and kisses help them to feel cared for throughout the day. There are subtle ways to play into this love language with a gift; a comfy blanket big enough for two, a big hammock to share, time set aside for a cosy movie night. Something they might really appreciate is a fully committed “massage night,” with oils, scrubs, candles, and maybe even soothing spa music to complete the experience.
Physical Touch Love Language Date Idea
Going on a date with your SO or even a new person you fancy provides you with an excuse to get up close and personal with them. That’s especially true if your love language happens to be physical touch. While each date can lead to intimacy, some activities provide more opportunities for physical contact than others. So, if your love language is physical touch, it doesn’t hurt to have a few date ideas prepared to suggest oh-so-casually if you’re arranging your next night out together. You can be sure you’ll be speaking your favourite love language all night if you do it this way.
The ideal date ideas for those who regard physical touch to be their love language are ones that place you both in a situation where it’s natural, comfortable, and proper to be up close and personal with your (fortunate) date. After all, who doesn’t like a little extra PDA on a date night? So, if you’re looking for something unique to do on a date night, here are some sweet and romantic date suggestions to get you started.
#1. Go dancing or take a dance class together
The best date ideas for those who consider physical touch their love language are ones were being in contact is either central to the activity, or one that puts you both in a position where it’s natural, comfortable, and appropriate to be up close and personal with your (lucky) date. After all, who doesn’t love a little extra PDA on date night, am I right? So, if you’re in the mood for a special night, here are some sweet and romantic date ideas to get you started.01Go dancing or take a dance class together.
#2. See a movie at the drive-in.
What’s better than a movie date for someone who loves physical touch? One that takes place in the backseat of your car, of course. Catch a movie at your local drive-in and you can share a little more than just a tub of popcorn. If there are no drive-ins nearby, look for a theatre that has couch seating where you can cuddle up during the movie.
#3. Cosy up at bonfire on the beach.
Want romance and physical touch? Head to the beach for a night by the bonfire. What if it gets chilly? That’s the whole point; it’s all the more reason to huddle together for… warmth. Bring a thermos of (spiked) hot chocolate and take advantage of the setting and the closeness to really talk and connect.
#4. Spend the day at an amusement park.
Love physical touch? Then centrifugal force is your friend. You may not think going to an amusement park is a physical touch date, but it totally is. From walking around the park holding hands, to being squished together on rides, to being alone at the top of the Ferris wheel, there is nothing but opportunities to get up close at personal at an amusement park.
People in long-distance relationships aren’t able to be intimate frequently but can still have this kind of love language. So, you see it’s possible even if you’re physically very distant from your partner. If you aren’t so good with words or with choosing the right gift for your loved one, then it’s probable that your love language is physical touch.
Do guys like physical contact?
But while sex drive doesn’t necessarily equate to a physical touch love language, many men do find that they feel most loved when they receive a physical touch from their partner.
What is the most common love language?
According to Chapman, words of affirmation are the most common primary love language by a small margin.
Where do men like to be kissed?
While focusing on his lips don’t ignore the other parts of his body which crave your love. So where do guys like to be kissed? You can easily turn on your man by kissing his nape and back. Start with the nape and go all the way down his back.