The raw reality of what “appearance” means to people can be enormous. I feel that ugly stems from thoughts and emotions and has little bearing on how beautiful a person truly is. Your beauty manifests itself in a variety of ways, one of which is your physical appearance. In this article, we’ll look at the reasons why I feel ugly and how to deal with it.
Why Do I Feel Ugly?
Many more people than you would believe describe themselves as ugly, even hideous. When these words are directed at the only body or face you have, they carry a great deal of pain. Both men and women feel excruciating pain. This negative belief affects both men and women and can be detrimental to both genders’ mental health.
You are hurting yourself and those around you if you call yourself or feel ugly. Those who love you and want you to know how beautiful they think you are may find it painful to witness your agony. But how can you silence the voice that accuses you of being unattractive or unsightly without succumbing to pressure and pain?
It’s worth noting that no matter where you fall on the aesthetic spectrum, there are at least fleeting moments when you don’t feel so captivated by your perceived “ugliness.”
When you examine the times when you feel ugly, some of the issues you may encounter are:
- Your primary focus of attention
- Reiterating a derogatory message
- Checking or avoiding mirrors obsessively
- Obtaining self-esteem from others
It is possible to break the vicious cycle of self-esteem destruction by convincing yourself that you are ugly. To begin, you must understand what triggers cause you to seek out negative patterns in your self-perception.
Here are four issues that may make you feel ugly and how to deal with them.
#1. Concentrating on your flaws.
You may choose to focus on your flaws. This means that you can’t feel better as long as you’re focusing on your flaws. Only by shifting your focus away from “the problem” will you be able to begin to improve and stop feeling bad.
Do not dwell on your shortcomings. It’s a difficult assignment. “Where you put your attention is where your energy goes,” says Dr. Joe Dispensa.
Instead, take small steps. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Try being grateful for your body by appreciating small things like the fact that it transports you or allows you to sing, dance, and smile.
Only when you accept yourself will you be able to notice the aspects of yourself that are truly beautiful.
#2. Reinforcing a negative message
When they feel or call themselves ugly, many people become stuck in some part of their body — or their entire body. When you become trapped in this cycle, a repeated message automatically enters your mind.
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The origin of the message varies; it could have started with a casual or mean-spirited remark from a friend, boyfriend, culture, a family member, or even someone you barely know. Remember that the messages you receive about who is beautiful and what is attractive are biased, distorted, or false. These viewpoints consider only a small group of people to be beautiful.
When you’re feeling down, try changing the message you’re telling yourself. Instead of exclaiming, “You’re disgusting!” try being gentle with yourself and thanking yourself when those negative messages appear.
#3. You have a thing for mirrors.
When they are self-conscious about their appearance, some people use a mirror to check for and correct flaws. This desire to check can become overwhelming for some people. Others may become obsessed with avoiding mirrors at all costs.
You may feel that mirrors are cursed! Whatever you do with mirrors, the goal should not be to cause pain.
When you look in the mirror, try to look at yourself with soft eyes. As you would a good friend, treat the image you see. Don’t sever yourself into tiny pieces. You are a complete person.
#4. You rely on the approval of others.
Many people gauge their self-esteem by comparing their beauty to that of others. This strategy is extremely ineffective because the evaluation of your appearance is dependent on moods and thoughts in specific situations.
The mirror is not the place to look for self-esteem, especially if you are self-conscious about it. Look elsewhere for your worthiness, at least for the time being. Remind yourself of the qualities you have that go beyond your physical beauty.
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You may have children who adore you or a partner who can make you laugh at any time. Your friends might think your beauty comes from your sharp wit or the way your entire face lights up when you smile. Looks should account for only a small portion of your self-esteem, regardless of who you are.
There are numerous other ways to bring beauty into the world. When you start looking for these instead of telling yourself how ugly you feel or think you are, you’ll be able to appreciate all the beauty you have to offer.
How to Handle Feeling Ugly
The pressure to be conventionally attractive is so intense that even toddlers worry about it. You may feel ugly on occasion, or you may feel ugly the majority of the time. In any case, feeling ugly is no reason to deny yourself happiness. Accept dips in self-esteem, work on your attractions, and love yourself. Here’s how to deal with feeling ugly:
#1. Identify your emotions.
When you have unpleasant thoughts or feelings, name them. When you notice yourself becoming distressed, ask yourself, “Why am I suddenly feeling bad?” Then look for triggers, such as being bombarded with advertisements, being ignored by friends, or feeling hungry or tired. Finally, give the emotion a name. Recognize visits from the “I’m ugly!” feeling, “I should lose weight,” or “only beautiful people can ever be happy” feeling.
#2. Ignore the naysayers.
Shut them down or ignore them when they insult or try to fix you. When someone offends you, it indicates that something is wrong with them. Nobody who is content, healthy, and secure bothers to insult others. Instead of responding with insults or becoming agitated, end the interaction quickly. Say something like “grow up” or “take care of yourself.“
Don’t insult yourself by taking the insult seriously, but feel free to be upset as much as you want. Simply remind yourself that you are upset because someone was unkind to you and was attempting to exploit your insecurities. Describe how you feel.
#3. Use loving language to describe yourself.
Stop when you notice yourself being critical of yourself. Treat yourself as you would a beloved friend. Would you criticize or call your friend “ugly”? Would you obsess over their appearance all the time?
Write a letter to yourself in which you describe yourself in the same way that a good friend would. When you notice yourself writing something that feels forced or insincere, pause.
#4. Seek assistance from others.
Get professional help if you are seriously down on yourself and can’t come to terms with your feelings. If you have suicidal thoughts, consult a doctor or mental health professional. Get help if you are depressed, avoiding activities you enjoy, or are too anxious to socialize or do your work.
#5. Determine your area of interest.
If you are doing something you enjoy, you may feel better about your life and yourself. Take some time to consider your areas of interest. Write down your thoughts so you can go over them and use them to help you develop your skills.
#6. Develop your skills.
Once you’ve identified what makes you happy, make an effort to do it more frequently. This can be as simple as turning one of your interests into a hobby or as complex as changing careers.
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#6. Accept your magnetic abilities.
Beauty and attractiveness are not synonymous. The force that draws others to you is known as an attraction. Being physically attractive can help someone become more appealing. However, many other factors contribute to attraction. Attractors include intelligence, kindness, confidence, health, and humor.
#7. Use your external attraction powers.
Aside from your powers, you have access to other forms of attraction. The way you walk, hold yourself, smile, and laugh can all have a significant impact. When you can stand up straight, gracefully walk and rest in relaxed postures.
#8. Look your best.
When you put yourself together, you will feel your best. Shower frequently and dress in clothes that fit your body type. Consult with salespeople and get fitted to ensure that your clothing is not too tight or too loose. Wear clean clothes in colors that flatter you. Wear styles that reflect your personality. For example, if you enjoy a certain type of music, wear clothing associated with that genre.
#9. Take good care of yourself.
Sleep, eat, and exercise normally. Adults require 7-8 hours of sleep per night, while teenagers require 9–11. Tiredness can lead to weight gain and health issues.
The concept of “ugliness” reflects the mistaken belief that your body exists to serve others. In reality, your appearance does not define you. Even romantic attraction is determined by factors other than appearance.
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The growing acceptance of body neutrality and related concepts highlights one important truth: your body does not have to look a certain way for you to experience love, pleasure, and joy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What do you do when you feel ugly?
Say something like “grow up” or “take care of yourself.” Don’t insult yourself by taking the insult seriously, but feel free to be upset as much as you want. Simply remind yourself that you are upset because someone was unkind to you and was attempting to exploit your insecurities.
Why do I feel so ugly at times?
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) causes people to believe that certain parts of their bodies are unattractive. People suffering from BDD can spend hours focusing on what they believe is wrong with their appearance. They check, fix, cover-up, or inquire about their appearance numerous times throughout the day. They concentrate on flaws that others consider minor.
How can I love myself if I'm ugly?
If you believe and feel that you are ugly, it may be difficult for you to love and accept yourself. Do you dislike looking in the mirror?
Begin by affirming your self-acceptance.
- Work on self-acceptance and love.
- Get Motivated by Books and Role Models
- Surround yourself with positive and loving people.
Who is an ugly person?
The definition of “ugly” is someone or something that is visually unappealing or threatening. Someone unattractive and unpleasant to look at is an example of an ugly person.