Through a divorce

Getting through a divorce can be tough. It turns your whole world upside down and triggers different sorts of emotions. All the dreams and excitement you once had and shared with your partner become so uncertain and you don’t know who you are anymore. Regardless of the cause of the divorce, this can be one of the most stressful and painful experiences.

The pain you feel, the uncertainty you feel, you might even become more scared about the future, because you do not know what it holds anymore. Everything becomes disrupted. But, hey time heals everything, doesn’t it? With time, this too shall pass. There are ways to get through this difficult situation.

Don’t go through this alone:

Surround yourself with beautiful people. For example, your family, your friends, and people that willingly listen to you and are ready to support you. Isolating and excluding yourself can increase the stress level and pain more. Consider joining a support group or a therapy session.

Recognize and embrace the emotions:

It’s okay to not be okay. Most times, people tend to ignore and numb the emotions they’re feeling just because they don’t want it to weigh them down or affect them mentally, but this only worsens the situation. A divorce can bring a series of emotions such as anger, pain, sadness, frustration, confusion, and exhaustion. It’s okay to recognize these emotions and note to yourself that you’re not okay. Accept that these emotions will lessen with time and you’ll get better also.

Give yourself a break:

Go easy on yourself and give yourself the permission to feel or function less than you normally do. Getting through a divorce can make you perform below optimum and you become so unproductive. It’s okay if you feel this way. Give yourself a break and with time, you’ll rest, reset and re-energize.

Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally:

Be kind and good to yourself always. Ask for help when needed. Go for a walk, exercise, go out with your friends, see a therapist if needed, and eat properly. Avoid making major life-changing decisions. However, when you know you are in a better space you can do that.


Divorce triggers different types of frightening and unsettling emotions, including sadness, grief, frustration, anger, guilt, depression, loneliness, devastation, and many more. There can be fear of being single again, and having to cope with the life-changing moment. Depressing thoughts of how your life is taking a turn and these thoughts make you want to cry at 3 am. Guilt on how you failed to make the relationship work out. Feeling of betrayal and sadness that creeps into your skin.

Although, these feelings are normal and you should let them run their course. Coping with a divorce emotionally has to do with allowing and accepting the grief, then learning to move on.

Allowing and accepting the grief:

It is natural in human nature to respond to divorce with grief. Some persons take more days, months, or even years than others in grieving the loss of their partner. Someone whose partner betrayed their trust might take much longer than someone who willingly left the marriage. Someone whose partner suddenly brought up the divorce issue might take much more time to grieve than someone who saw the relationship deteriorating daily.

Do not fight the grief because it is counterproductive, it will not let you heal properly. With time, the grief will be seen as a thing of the past and you’ll learn to live in your new reality. Accepting grief is the first stage in getting through a divorce emotionally. Accepting the fact that you and your partner are no more, the goals and dreams you once shared might not come to fruition again. However, if you find it hard moving on from grieving. It is advisable to seek a counseling expert.

Moving on:

With time, most persons find out the grief depletes and they are energized to move on. Choosing to move forward is the biggest step in getting through a divorce. You’ve accepted your reality and agreed to move forward with your life. Life is too short to spend so much time grieving.


Getting through a divorce is one thing, on the other hand getting through a divorce when you still love him is a different thing. It is even a more difficult process. Perhaps, the divorce is due to a lack of trust, betrayal, cheating, or maybe both parties realized they weren’t the right person for each other.

This is a very gradual process because it takes more time to accept reality and be willing to move on. Here are a few tips to help you get through the divorce.

Acknowledge the love that is there:

You can love someone and still want nothing to do with the person. You can still be in love with your partner amidst him wanting a divorce. Emotions are complicated, and you cannot turn love off like a faucet. Although, the love can get buried under other emotions such as hurt, anger, and frustration, a few to name. Acknowledging the love that is there, gives you a sense of peace and you can employ strategies to cope with the divorce.

Start making plans, but not for romance:

Do not move into a new relationship quickly, stay away from rebound. This will not only worsen your healing process, but it will be unfair to the new partner especially when you won’t stop comparing to your ex-husband. Set goals for yourself and make new plans. Improve your life. Recreate new routines and discard the ones you had before since your husband is gone. Redecorate and refurbish the space you once shared with him. Everything will begin to fall in place with time.

Cultivate self-love and self-care:

Always note to yourself that you may still love him, but he does not love you anymore. Allow and accept the grief that comes with divorce, but do not dwell on it for so long. You still have your life to live and goals to achieve. Begin loving yourself again and with time everything will be a thing of the past.


Society has placed an emotionless title on men by stigmatization. Men have to hide how they truly feel after a divorce and act all is going smoothly on the outside, even when all they want to do is “scream out for help.” They have to be strong and not cry, if not they’ll be tagged a cry baby. And, of course, big boys don’t cry. We keep on ignoring the fact that they are humans also.

However, in this article, we will provide you with ways on how to get through a divorce as a man.

Take care of your health and well-being:

Try to prioritize your health and well-being, especially if you work too much and you have been denying the fact that you just got divorced. The effects of divorce on men can as well be massive. Take your health seriously regardless of what you are feeling. You have to prioritize yourself.

Do not skip grieving:

You might be tempted to numb your emotions and pretend everything is going fine even after the divorce. However, it is important to not skip grieving. This is the acceptance of the loss you are feeling and it is essential to spend the time you need on grieving. It may be hard, but with time you will find happiness after grieving.

Reconnect with your favorite hobbies and people:

Overcoming a divorce is a tough and unsettling period. Reconnect with hobbies you enjoy doing, take boxing classes, go to the stadium to watch your favorite sport, and go fishing on weekends. Connect with your loved ones and friends. Avoid isolation and connect with people, this will help you move forward.

See a therapist:

Dealing with divorce differs among individuals, some men get through it faster while some take time before healing. Seeking external help is advisable when you are stuck and do not know how to move on. You can also join a support group as this will help you get through your emotions and have people to relate with.


Separating with your partner can be difficult, but coping with a divorce you did not want is particularly difficult. It is hard to grasp because it is solely one-sided. No matter what, going from married to single is not an easy thing. You’ll feel a loss, a part of you gone especially when you are not the one who wants the divorce.

Moving on is easier said than done, but you have to give it try. You have to get through the divorce and ensure you don’t lose yourself in the process.

No matter how today feels, tomorrow can be better:

Acknowledging the fact that the divorce was one-sided and your partner no longer wants you in their life is one step forward. You accept the loss and give yourself the time to process everything that is happening. Surround yourself with support and love from loved ones who are willing to be of assistance.

Relocate cities if needed:

Oftentimes, you and your partner already established a lot of things together, and your lifestyles and routines are intertwined. It becomes so difficult to move on from such a situation. You may need to recuperate by letting old things go and embracing new things, you may change cities, sell the house you guys once stayed in and get a new one, or reinvent a new lifestyle and routine for yourself alone.

Getting through a divorce is not an easy journey, but it is worth the leap in getting your authentic self back. Hopefully, this article will guide you in your journey as you find yourself again.


Do I have to consider my partner before getting a divorce?

Yes, you need to consider and relate to your partner before getting a divorce regardless if they want it or not.

How long does it take for a man to get through a divorce?

Different personalities get through divorce in different ways. Some men may get through a divorce within a short period while some men may take longer in getting through a divorce.

I can feel my relationship hitting rock bottom, should I opt for a divorce or see a counselor?

It depends on the severity of the damage in the relationship. You can either opt for a divorce or opt to get counseling, but ensure you go through this process with your partner being involved.

Should a divorce affect our children?

Getting a divorce will play a significant role in the lives of the children, but it is you and your partner’s duty to ensure it does not affect the children. Do not use the children as a pawn against one another even after being divorced.

How do I get through a one-sided divorce?

You can get through a one-sided divorce by respecting your partner’s decision and choosing to move on with your life. Although it is not as easy as it sounds, but you will heal eventually.

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