ABUSIVE WIFE: The Top 10 Telltale Signs & How to Deal With It


It’s not always obvious when you’re in an abusive relationship. This article discusses some of the most common warning signs of an abusive wife and how to deal with them. It is natural for someone who has been abused to believe that the abuse was their fault and that they deserved it. It’s also important to realize that you are never to blame for how someone who abuses you treats you.

Emotionally Abusive Wife

Emotional abuse kills from within. It slowly erodes a person’s will, identity, and self-worth. Although it can be challenging to identify, it must be for it to be removed. Although this is directed at husbands, this treatment can go either way. Here are three signs that your wife is emotionally abusive in your marriage.

#1. You have the impression that you are being controlled.

People are emotionally abusive for various reasons, including childhood wounds, deep-seated anger, and insecurities. It often stems from being abused. These experiences make them feel out of control and unsafe, which causes anxiety. Unfortunately, one of the most important things they try to control to alleviate their anxiety is their relationships, particularly their closest ones. Control attempts may include treating you like a child or labeling you. They make you feel you need their approval before making minor decisions. To get their way, they will frequently withhold sex, money, or emotional investment. Do you believe your wife is attempting to exert control over you?

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#2. You’re being made to feel threatened.

They accomplish this by issuing threats. Physical threats cause apparent emotional harm. They may also use psychological threats. When people try to scare you, they will blame you a lot and not let you off the hook for your mistakes. Even if your mistakes are minor, they will be considered significant inconveniences. Their range of seemingly insignificant things will make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, possibly unsafe. When confronted, they will shift all blame to you and make you feel like you are to blame for being overly sensitive. Do you feel threatened by your wife?

#3. You are constantly belittled.

They will consistently criticize and disparage you in public and private. This could include sarcastic remarks or making fun of you to make you feel inferior. They will either dismiss your viewpoint or treat it with contempt. An emotionally abusive person may also try to embarrass or humiliate you. Is your wife constantly demoralizing and demeaning you?

Verbally Abusive Wife

It can be challenging to identify verbal abuse because it is not as apparent as other forms of abuse and bullying, such as physical and sexual abuse. This, however, does not make it any less real. A verbally abusive wife also engages in some verbal interaction that causes emotional harm to a person, often leading them to question their identity. It is a technique for gaining and maintaining power over another person. It is not uncommon for a victim of verbal abuse to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless. After all, they are defined by a verbally abusive wife.


When verbal abuse occurs in a marriage, it can be incredibly perplexing because the wife is not always abusive, and their behavior most likely develops gradually over time. A verbally abusive wife can be deceptive and sneaky. As a result, when the abusive wife is loving and gentle, the victim can forget her negative behavior. Finally, the victim either ignores the pattern of verbal abuse or justifies the abuser’s behavior by claiming that the abuser is stressed or going through a difficult time.

Different Kinds of Verbal Abuse

When someone is verbally abused, the perpetrator may use overt forms of abuse like name-calling and threats, as well as more subtle methods like gaslighting or constantly correcting, interrupting, putting down and demeaning them. Even prolonged silence from a wife is a form of verbal abuse. By refusing to communicate with the victim, the person attempts to control and punish them.

Some people may overlook it because verbal assaults appear normal to communicate, particularly those who live with a verbally abusive wife. They are, however, unusual and can have long-term consequences. A verbally abusive wife can appear in several ways, including:

  • Blaming: convincing the victim that they are to blame for the abusive behavior or that they brought it on themselves.
  • Criticism: harsh and persistent remarks intended to make a person feel bad about themselves; they are not constructive but intentional and hurtful.
  • Gaslighting: a subtle, and sometimes covert, form of emotional abuse in which the abuser causes the victim to doubt their judgments and reality.
  • Judging: judging the victim by looking down on them, refusing to accept them for who they are, or holding them to unrealistic standards.
  • Name-calling: abusive, derogatory language or insults undermine the target’s self-esteem, worth, and self-concept.
  • Threats are statements made to frighten, control, and manipulate the victim into complying.
  • Withholding: a refusal to show affection or attention, which includes talking to, looking at, or even being in the same room as you.

While this is not an exhaustive list, these are some common types of verbally abusive wives.

Abusive Wife Signs

You can find out if you or someone you know is a victim of an abusive wife by going through the list below. It has also been discussed how to deal with an abusive wife.


#1. Controlling behavior

Abusive wives exhibit manageable behavior. She will have a say in who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your money, what you wear, and how often you talk to family or friends.

#2. Abusive language

If you believe you are constantly (metaphorically) walking on eggshells, this is most likely an indication of abuse. If your wife shouts, yells, or blows a gasket over trivial matters, she may be abusive. An abusive wife can debilitate you, criticize you, and frequently reject your feelings.

#3. Violence

If your significant other is abusive, whether to you or to those around you, you are in an oppressive relationship. If she punches, hits, or slaps you, this clearly indicates that the relationship isn’t stable. When she doesn’t get her way, she may try to kick animals, punch walls, or throw things at you.

#4. Extreme enviousness

The majority of abusive wives are envious. They may become irritated if they notice you conversing with someone else. Of course, when spouses see their significant others interact with other people, they become envious. Jealousy, on the other hand, is a little different in this case. If you pay too much attention to your siblings or parents, your abusive wife will become jealous.

#5. Separation

Oppressive spouses require complete control over you. They don’t need you to put effort into coworkers, family, or friends. She would prefer you to be unhappy and alone. She doesn’t want you hanging out with other people for fear of exposing the abuse.

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#6. Creates fear

Is your wife putting you in situations that make you fear for your life or safety? You are clearly in an abusive relationship if she tries to threaten you, makes you feel afraid, controls and manipulates you to the point where you fear her and are afraid.

#7. Place blame on everyone else.

She finds ways to accuse others; she accepts no responsibility for what she has done or said, and she will blame everyone for anything that goes wrong. She will always find a way to point the finger at you.

Abusive Wife Syndrome

Long-term domestic abuse can result in battered woman syndrome, also known as battered person syndrome. Battered Woman Syndrome is a subtype of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

People suffering from battered woman syndrome may feel powerless. This can lead them to believe they deserve the abuse and are powerless to stop it. This is often why people do not report abuse to the police or loved ones.

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If you believe you or someone close to you is suffering from battered woman syndrome, know that this condition can be treated, and you can live a normal life. Continue reading to learn more about the signs and symptoms of battered woman syndrome and how to treat it.

The Different Stages of Battered Woman Syndrome

Battered woman syndrome may not look the same in everyone with it due to the unique circumstances that different people can find themselves in.

Battered woman syndrome is thought to be divided into four stages:

  • Ignorance. The individual cannot accept that they are being abused, or they justify it as “just once.”
  • Guilt. The individual believes they are to blame for the abuse.
  • Realization. During this stage, the individual recognizes that they did not deserve the abuse and accepts that their partner has an abusive personality.
  • Accountability. The individual accepts that only the abuser is responsible for the abuse. In many cases, this is when they will consider leaving the relationship.

Signs of battered woman syndrome

Battered woman syndrome causes a variety of symptoms. In an abusive relationship, a person may:

  1. believe that the abuse is their fault
  2. keep the abuse hidden from friends and family
  3. fear for their own or their children’s lives
  4. believe that the abuser knows everything and can see their every move
  5. be afraid because they never know which side of their partner will be revealed that day — a loving partner or an abuser

How to Deal with an Abusive wife

If you suspect you are being abused emotionally, trust your instincts. These suggestions for dealing with an abusive wife are a good place to start:

#1. Please do not attempt to fix them.

You may want to assist, but changing an abusive wife’s behavior without professional assistance is often difficult. You can encourage them to see a therapist, but they must decide for themselves.

#2. Avoid blaming yourself.

You never deserve to be abused, no matter what you’ve said or done. The only person to blame is the person engaging in abusive behavior.

#3. Set your priorities.

Taking care of your physical and emotional needs can help you progress to a point where you feel comfortable setting boundaries, seeking help, and leaving the abusive situation.

#4. Avoid interacting with them.

Don’t respond to their texts, phone calls, or emails. If you cannot avoid working or spending time with them, try to keep another person with you and keep your conversation to essential topics.

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#5. Create and maintain personal boundaries.

Determine how you will avoid being manipulated or being drawn into arguments. Use abuse tactics to express those limits to the person and then stick to them. “If you call me names, I’ll go home,” for example, or “If you start teasing me in public, I’ll leave.”

#6. Create a support system.

It may be difficult to open up about your experiences, but reaching out to loved ones and a supportive therapist can go a long way toward helping you get the help you need to heal.

#7. Exit the relationship or situation.

Declare unequivocally that the relationship is over and, if possible, cut all ties. Block their phone numbers and social media accounts, and ignore any attempts to contact them.

#8. Give yourself time to recover.

Allow yourself time to focus on your needs and recovery. This may entail rediscovering your sense of self, developing a new self-care routine, and speaking with a therapist who can provide recovery guidance.

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Leaving an abusive wife is often more difficult if you are married, have children, or share assets. If this is the case, you should seek legal counsel as soon as possible.


After recognizing these signs of an abusive wife, you should never again be the victim in a relationship. Of course, doing all of these things may not be feasible. Your abusive wife may become even more aggressive. If she exhibits such behavior and refuses to respect you as her spouse, it is best to part ways permanently. Living in a toxic marriage with an abusive wife will not help you.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you deal with a cruel wife?

How to Deal with a Disobedient Wife

  • Do not take her rudeness personally.
  • Choose a time for the conversation.
  • Begin by concentrating on her rather than on yourself.
  • Ask her what she requires to respect you.
  • Ask your wife if she is willing to see a marriage counselor.
  • Request that she thoroughly investigate the problems.

What is wife abuse called?

Domestic abuse, also known as” domestic violence “or” intimate partner violence, “is a pattern of behavior used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner in any relationship.

What behaviors are considered abusive?

Intimidation, coercion, ridicule, harassment, treating an adult like a child, isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activities, using silence to control behavior, and yelling or swearing that causes mental distress are all examples.

When your wife is mean to you?

He believes that when your wife is mean to you, it is because she is hurt or in pain. Emotional or mental pain is more common than physical pain. This could be because of something you did or did not do that upset her.

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