Love is a beautiful thing. It is one of the best experiences of life that just words wouldn’t be enough to describe it. Being in love with someone gives you strength, peace, satisfaction, and courage. At the same time makes you vulnerable or prone to pain, suffocating emotions, and heartbreak. It’s an irony, isn’t it? That love could give you peace and also make you troubled. That it could give you strength and also make you vulnerable. No matter the shades there are to it, it still doesn’t change the fact that love is a beautiful experience.
Being in love is sweet, but then, it becomes confusing when you are in love with someone else, apart from the person you were originally in love with. Even the description is quite confusing enough. Loving someone else is not actually something new. It has had major reoccurrences over the years. People in relationships find out their partners are growing apart from them. Spouses discover that they feel emotionally attached to someone to who they are not married. A soon-to-be groom is confused because he realizes that he has feelings for his bride’s best friend. The list goes on and on. If you are reading this article earnestly, there’s a probability you are in the same situation. You don’t have to feel downcast, just keep reading and you will gain clarity on what to do.
IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE SIGNS
Love hits differently for different people. So, the chances of you knowing you love someone based on the experiences and encounters of another person may not be completely precise. Some persons may be in love with someone else, who is not their spouse and be oblivious to it. Here are some telltale signs that would hit the mark, and assure you that you are definitely in love with someone else, who is not your spouse.
1) You become easily irritated by your partner’s mistake
Love covers a multitude of errors. We know that as humans, we are bound to make mistakes. No one is perfect as they say, so we offend others even as we are offended by others. One of the major expressions of love is mutual forgiveness and overlooking excesses. So, we can definitely conclude that there is a problem somewhere when you are irritated by more of your partner’s errors and mistakes than you forgive. There are some actions that should no longer result in quarreling because you have made peace with the fact that that’s just the way things are. Your spouse usually presses the toothpaste from the middle unconsciously, and no matter how many times you tell him not to, he doesn’t know when he does it again.
No matter how many times you say it’s wrong, your partner can’t observe proper table manners. And the sight of her trying to buttress her point to you with all the food in her mouth usually cracks you up laughing. If ever the little things that never seemed a big deal to you, suddenly begin to irritate you, to the extent that it riles you up in anger and makes you want to get as far away from your spouse as possible. Then there’s a big probability that the love you have for them is slowly shifting away to someone else.
2) You are comfortable around them
When you love someone else, you are comfortable around them. The warning signals from your brain are suddenly turned off. You no longer see them as a danger zone. They make you feel safe you tell them your secret, your plans, your past, your present, and even your future. You talk to them about deep things that only your spouse is aware of. Peace is felt in their presence, and you enjoy spending time with them. There’s this sense of satisfaction you feel just from having them listen to you.
3) They constantly pop into your mind
You know as someone in a relationship or married, your spouse should be the number 1 person on your mind. Like they should be stacked high on the billboards of your mind so they can easily pop up even when you try to do mundane things. Well, this is no longer the case when you are in love with someone else. The new person takes over your mind without any effort on your part. You think about their smile when you see a random person smile. You think about their shape when you see someone of similar stature. Their thoughts invade your mind first thing when you wake up in the morning, and the last thing when you go to bed at night. Even in a dark world, you visualize them as your sunshine.
4) You constantly imagine a future with them
At times in the comfort of your bed or in the rowdiness of your job, you imagine how life would be with them by your side. You know you aren’t single, yet you convince yourself that it wouldn’t hurt to have innocent thoughts about them. After all, you aren’t planning to act on them. That’s the justification you give to yourself for all the imaginations of a blissful future you create with them in your mind, to ease your guilt. You wake up beside your spouse in the mornings but in your eyes, you see a different person. Even at work, you imagine how sweet it would be, with them being your boss. You push to the sidelines the fact that you already have a spouse because your mind has been captured by your imagination of them.
Most persons still love to live in denial, despite the fact that the signs are too obvious to ignore. If your experiences match most of the signs we have presented. Then you must understand that you are definitely in love with someone else, who is not your spouse.
FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED
It’s normal and not scarcely heard of for married people to love someone other than their partners. It’s a common everyday story, but it doesn’t always end up with married people cheating on their spouses or ending their marriage because of the feelings they have for the other person. If as a married person, you find yourself getting attracted to or falling in love with someone other than your spouse. Then there’s a certainty that you are giving that person too much of your attention. Love grows where it is nourished, watered, and tended to. Loving someone who is not your spouse means you are creating space for the person to spend time with you. For them to make you happy and do things only your spouse should be doing originally.
To end this, you have to set boundaries in your relationship with the other person and in extension, to others and also be deliberate about working on your marriage. Don’t give room for people to do things for you that only your spouse should do. Limit physical touch and contact to the barest minimum. Don’t accept it as a form of sympathy in your down moments. You never know when a spark of flame would turn into a raging fire. If someone else who is not your spouse is making you happy, there’s a chance that soon enough, you would have no need for your spouse. Work on your marriage and get rid of every roadblock in the way of the love and affection of the relationship with your spouse.
UNHAPPILY MARRIED AND IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE
Most persons who are unhappy in their marriages find it very easy to fall in love with someone else who gives them the love and attention they crave. So, the question is, should you end your marriage, just to be with that other person you are in love with?
A 2002 study showed that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together in their relationship were happy five years later. What changed? They changed. They came to the realization that they are each responsible for the happiness in their marriages and that the failures or success of their marriage depends on them. If you are in an unhappy marriage and find out you are in love with someone else, you have no need to worry, all you have to do is work hand in hand with your partner to revive the lost love in your marriage or if there wasn’t any love to start with, then start afresh.
Get to know your spouse in depth. Spend more time with them to nurture your relationship together. Take it slowly, one step at a time and you would realize that you have a connection growing between you and your partner. It’s not advisable to leave an unhappy marriage for the arms of a person you’ve grown to love, because you may jump in with them and realize too late that the unhappiness didn’t go away.
ENGAGED BUT IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE
First of all, be sure that you really love the ‘someone else’, because for you to push your relationship till the engagement stage, it means you love your partner and are prepared to settle down with them.
What you need to do when you are engaged and find out you are in love with someone else is to reevaluate your stand. Do you really love your partner? Do you feel happy with them? If yes, then you may be caught up in the euphoria of infatuations that you feel you love someone else. Nevertheless, if you reevaluate your feelings and find out that you aren’t happy in that relationship and the odds of being ever fulfilled are against you, then it’s fine to step down. At least, you aren’t married yet.
FALLING IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP
One of the most common reasons for couples falling in love with someone else while they are in a relationship is not being able to do the things they fancy with their spouse. Imagine a person who loves hugging to the core being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like physical contact. There is bound to be a problem somewhere. Couples in a relationship learn to communicate their needs with their spouse. They should be able to relate the things they love and enjoy and make allowances for one another’s happiness.
Being in love with someone else while in a relationship or married is not a big deal, but how you handle it matters.
IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE FAQS
Is it okay to love someone else while you are dating?
It is normal to admire and fancy other people, even when you are in a healthy relationship. But you should define your relationship with them. Acknowledge that you are in a relationship and do not cheat on your partner.
Can you be in love with two people?
Yes, you can be in love with two people. We are humans and sometimes we can feel connected to two persons.
Can you be in love with someone and cheat on them?
In reality, it is possible to love your partner and still cheat on them.
What are the signs to look out for to know you are in love with someone else?
You become easily irritated by your partner’s mistake.
You are comfortable around them.
They constantly pop into your mind.
You constantly imagine a future with them.
How do I prevent myself from falling in love with someone else while I’m in a relationship?
Limit the time you spend with them.
Focus on your relationship.
Avoid physical contact.