If you’ve ever had a boyfriend, you’ve probably been haunted by thoughts of his ex. Is he still sexually attracted to her? Is he comparing his sex with you to his sex with her? They are dreadful thoughts. Regardless, they appear to pervade our minds. While I cannot speak for all men worldwide, I can say from my experiences with male friends and boyfriends. So, do guys think about their exes sexually?
Do Guys Think About Their Exes Sexually?
Do you want to know the truth? The answer depends on various factors, including who your boyfriend is as a person, how their relationship ended, how long it has been, how sexually active they were, and how in love they were… The list could go on and on. The only way to find out is to pay close attention and possibly talk to him about it.
If they split up because she cheated on him or did something equally heinous and wrong to him, I think it is safe to assume he no longer wants anything to do with her. In this scenario, men do not have sexual thoughts about their ex-partners. He probably tries to avoid thinking about her, and when he does, I’m almost certain his views are not kind.
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If they broke up long ago, he probably doesn’t think about her much. How frequently do you think about your ex from two years ago? However, if it is more recent, say within the last few months, he may remember her more frequently. That does not necessarily mean the end of the world, but it could mean something less than ideal.
In reality, memories are harmless if one does not act on them. Nobody compares their current partner to their previous lovers. When they do, it is not malicious but rather an observation. You may notice that your current boyfriend lacks the muscle mass of your ex, but you don’t mind.
If that does not satisfy or dull your morbid curiosity, you should talk to him about it. Inquire about his feelings toward his ex and whether or not he is over her. If he isn’t over her, he may be lying about it. Just decide how much you trust him and try to tell a lie from the truth. Most guys aren’t lying when they say they don’t think about or are over their exes sexually. Just remember that the relationship did end, and if he met and pursued you, he was probably ready to move on.
If you are not the type of confrontational person who can ask him, your answers to the aforementioned questions are a good indicator of these things. Do guys think about their exes sexually? Are they still interested in their ex-lover? Consider your answers. If you said no, and you and he are similar people, you can bet he would also say no.
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If you answered yes, you should think about it. Is it something significant enough for you to think he should be concerned? If not, he’s probably in the same boat as me. If he has compared you to his ex in bed, he has most likely done so in the same manner you have. Objectively. However, if you believe it is something he should be concerned about, the problem may be more serious. Perhaps you ask these questions and are concerned because you have a guilty conscience.
Asking yourself questions like, “Do guys think about their exes sexually?” is torturous. His previous relationship is irrelevant as long as he is with you, you are with him, and there is mutual trust. Take a deep breath and push those nagging thoughts away. Don’t let those thoughts keep you from thoroughly enjoying your relationship.
Do Guys Think About Their Exes Sexually After a Breakup?
The short answer is sometimes no, but most of the time yes. Men may miss their ex when they experience regret, see their ex looking better, hotter, and more successful than they are, or see their ex with someone new.
After a breakup, your ex may realize they loved you more than they thought and that you were the one who got away—facts that may make you feel comforted if you were recently broken up with by a guy you love or concerned if you’re dating a man who recently ended a relationship with someone else.
And, unfortunately, the reasons why guys think about their ex-girlfriends sexually aren’t always the noblest.
Is it normal to think about your ex sexually?
It’s completely normal to consider former relationships while engaging in physical activity. Others may have an influential sexual association with a person from their past, which can feel crippling. For some, it’s just a short memory.
How do I know if he still thinks about his ex?
He is likely to love his ex still if he only discusses the good aspects of their previous relationship rather than the bad. He’s not ready to start a new relationship with you if he doesn’t seem to harbor any animosity or bitterness from his previous relationship.
Do men think about you after a breakup?
You are on his mind even if he doesn’t call or text you. Everything that makes him think of you, especially soon after the split, makes him reflect. Whether or not you and your ex-partner reconcile, they will continue to have feelings for one another.
Why do I sexually fantasize about my ex?
Sexual nostalgia is fantasized sexual behavior in which we remember having sex with a prior partner. As a result of unfulfilled sexual and interpersonal desires, people may experience sexual nostalgia.
How long does it take a guy to realize he misses his ex?
So, the response to the question “How long does it take for a guy to miss you” is a few weeks to two months. Usually, when they can’t find a lady with their characteristics, guys understand what they lost. By then, they realized that not all women are created equal and that they should not have ended the relationship.
Reason Guys Think About Their Exes Sexually
Here are some of the most common reasons guys think about their exes sexually after a breakup.
#1. The sex was enjoyable.
Guys do have sexual thoughts about their ex-partners. Most guys will not pass up good sex, and they will often try to keep the door to sex with them open if at all possible. This is why many guys will tell you how much they “miss their ex” but “can’t commit to anything again.”
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Make no mistake: most guys miss the sex more than their ex-exes.
#2. He experienced a fall from grace.
This is precisely what happened to my ex and me. He lost most of his hair and began to resemble a creepy old man. Furthermore, due to the drama, he lost many friends who used to praise and demonize him. Meanwhile, I became more muscular and popular among his friends.
If a guy notices that his ex is doing much better than him, he will think about her and try to rekindle their relationship to reclaim some of the social standings he once had in that relationship that he may not have with you.
#3. He thought they were going downhill, but they rebounded after the breakup.
This has happened to me several times, and the irony is that most guys can’t even come up with a good reason why they dumped their ex in the first place. It wasn’t that he was “in a bad place,” but that he was too self-centered to be by his ex’s side when they needed him, which is a red flag for your relationship.
Needless to say, he doesn’t deserve an ounce of your time if he’s thinking about his ex because your relationship is “in a bad place.”
#4. He considered his ex as a backup plan.
This is most common with cheaters and guys who leave early in a relationship. “I was going through something” and “I didn’t know what I had” are the most common reasons he’ll give for dumping an ex. He may also express that he misses certain aspects of them. You should confront him if you have reason to believe he will rely on them. You can outperform a guy who will revert to his old strategy.
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#5. His ex-girlfriend is doing well for herself.
This happened to a friend of mine and her ex. He dumped her because she was making $11 an hour at a local car wash. He didn’t want to be seen with a “poor girl,” and he was concerned she was a gold digger.
Later that year, he lost his $55,000-per-year job. Guess who came to her door and asked for a second chance? That’s correct: her ex.
And guess who wisely slammed the door in his face? That’s correct: she did. Money influences men’s and women’s relationships, and male gold diggers are becoming more common these days.
#6. He wishes to exert control over his ex.
A frightening number of guys get high on the idea of having a girl wrapped around their little finger, and if he returns to his ex after they’ve moved on, it could be because he realizes he no longer has a hold on them.
When a guy is hurting after a breakup, he may act rashly and try to break his ex by exerting control over them. In doing so, he is reacting to his emotions and revealing to his ex that it is not about them but his hurt.
#7. He realized it was too late to reconcile with his ex.
Most people, including men, find dating exhausting. Unfortunately, most guys have a “grass is greener” mentality until they have a fateful breakup… And then they want that girl back because they realize how much work it takes to get another girlfriend.
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Don’t be the girl on the rebound. Guys frequently return to their first love if the relationship was very romantic and the two had a strong bond. Unfortunately, because they are hung up on their ex, this thinking is never good for a long-term relationship with someone new. You should keep walking.
#8. His ex is attractive.
When guys see their ex looking hot, they are envious that the ex has moved on and glowed up. When this occurs, they will try to reclaim them and hook up with them now that they appear “hotter.”
Guys will frequently try to get back together with an ex if that ex later turns out to be super-hot and they see them on social media. After all, there’s a reason Khloe Kardashian’s “Revenge Body” show has some truth to it.
#9. He longs for the benefits of being in a relationship.
Whether men like it or not, being in a relationship has advantages, if things aren’t going well in your relationship right now, he might try to contact his exes to reunite with her because he believes she treated him better.
When guys realize they aren’t cut out for single life again, they start missing their ex and want to run back to their ex for another chance. Though others may disagree, any worthwhile man will recognize what he has when he sees it and will not need a breakup to realize he wants you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do men ever think of their exes?
A recent study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science discovered that men think their female ex-partners more fondly than women remember their male exes.
Do men think about past relationships?
According to a new study, men remember past relationships more fondly than women. Breakups are, without a doubt, difficult and messy events. But which is faster to recover, men or women? This was the topic of a new study published in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science.
How do you know if he still thinks about his ex?
If he’s warm, kind, flirty, friendly, or seems overjoyed to see her, he’s still harboring feelings for her. Or perhaps you will sense that he is willing to try again. Don’t try to run behind your boyfriend during the no-contact period because everything will be too fresh.
How often do guys go back to their ex?
I find that 20-25% of my clients do reconcile with their exes-partners, usually within a few months. Some people break up repeatedly to keep the passion and tension in their relationship alive. And, of the 20-25% who do get back together, half will break up permanently within six months.