Good sex begins with a good, overall emotional intimacy, upon which you will construct additional enjoyable moments until you can’t stop yourself from going to the bedroom. This essay will teach you how to be more sexually intimate with your boyfriend.

Feeling connected to your boyfriend through sex can be one of the most pleasant and satisfying feelings that this strange, amazing human existence has to offer. But, despite our desire for more intimacy in our lives, we sometimes find it difficult to have truly intimate sex. We sometimes need a little help finding our way back to being more sexually intimate with our boyfriend so we can live at the core of sex, whether it’s due to stress, weariness, or losing touch with ourselves and our partners.

What Exactly is Intimate Sex?

Intimate sex is any sexual interaction that involves a high level of intimacy between the partners. Instead of treating sex as a closed-off way of self-gratification, all participants are fully present in generating a shared experience of mutual pleasure.


Because sexual and emotional differences between persons are unfathomable, there is no one-size-fits-all solution to what constitutes “intimacy.” One person’s intimacy is being flogged and humiliated by their partner, while another’s is having oral sex with the lights turned on. Trust, security, and transparency are crucial connecting variables. When you feel entirely comfortable opening up to your spouse and showing them the private aspect of yourself that is typically concealed from the rest of the world, you create a trusting link from which intimacy can flourish.

Tips on How to Be Sexually Intimate With Your Boyfriend

Despite the title, this is not a step-by-step guide to having sex with your boyfriend. That would be too textbook and uninteresting to read. There are a several ice preludes to getting more sexually intimate with your boyfriend, so we’ll go over some of them.

Good sex is more than just body touching. Good sex begins with general emotional intimacy, upon which you will construct additional delightful moments until you can’t stop thinking about going to the bedroom.

Let’s look at some ways you can be more sexually intimate with your boyfriend:

#1. Turn off all electronic devices.

When preparing for sexual intercourse, the first thing you should do is turn off your smartphone, tablet, computer, and television. That’s correct. There will be no buzzes, ding-dongs, or other sounds or sights to distract you from your handsome boyfriend.

You want to be entirely present for what is going to happen, and if your screen continues to light up like a Christmas tree all evening, you will struggle to focus on your man. While you prepare for love, the rest of the world can wait. Talk now that you have each other’s attention.

#2. Verbal exchange is a key aspect of foreplay.

No one likes to jump right into sex without some kind of prelude, right? So pay attention to one another. Inquire about his day. What was the most positive thing that happened? Worst case scenario? Maintain eye contact, nod, and say “Wow” as you actively listen to his responses.

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That sounds fantastic (or awful). Check-in with him on anything you recently discussed; he’ll be moved that you remembered his problem at work or his disagreement with his mother. All of this contributes to your emotional closeness.

#3. Get physical, but not sexually.

Begin the path to lovemaking with some gentle touches. A long embrace. There’s plenty of time to just kiss on the sofa. (Don’t limit your kisses to when you’re having love; enjoy them in and out of the bedroom.)
What about a relaxing neck and shoulder massage?

If his back is knotted, have him remove his shirt so you can truly focus on the problem areas. The aim is to do it gently and not rush through this portion of foreplay into the “good stuff.” It’s all excellent stuff, and it’s all part of a fantastic, larger sexual experience.

#4. Talk about sex outside of the bedroom.

If this is your first sexual experience with this specific boyfriend, discussing expectations can be both beneficial and enjoyable. It will not only heat up mutual libidos, but it will also explain your tastes and what you best respond to.

It will also allow you to inquire about his preferences and dislikes. Of course, this is a dialogue that should be continued in bed, but starting it while still dressed is hot, hot, hot. It’s also an important chat to have to verify that your sexual desires are in sync.

Nothing is worse than discovering too late that your boyfriend requires a sexual practice that you find insulting to be satisfied. So be open and honest, and set boundaries before they are crossed.

If you are unhappy with whatever this new partner tells you about his requirements, you must express your dissatisfaction, even if it means not having sex right now.

#5. Don’t overlook technological seduction.

You are aware that you intend to be more sexually intimate with your boyfriend that evening. To get the party started, how about exchanging explicit texts during the day (note: not photographs, but messages)?

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It will put both of you in a heated state, which will make your eventual meeting all the more fascinating! “I want you”: three simple words with a big impact on your boyfriend’s mind.

#6. Set the stage for love.

Is your boyfriend going to come over tonight? Spend some time before his arrival cleaning up your room. He doesn’t need to see your beautiful underpants drying on the shower rack.

Remove your plush animals from your bed and replace them with some nice, new sheets. What about some softly scented candles (or fake candles with flickering light bulbs, which are safer if you both fall asleep together after making love)?

Set up your favorite playlist of music to melt too and you’ve set the tone for an unforgettable evening!

#7. Don’t overlook post-coital intimacy.

Let us now discuss being intimate after being intimate. You’ve had wonderful sex with your boyfriend; now prolong that sense of connection. It could be as simple as falling asleep and clutching each other tightly. But what if you’re not exhausted? Why not wake up and cook something together?

Make sure you have some basic ingredients in your fridge that you can mix up after you’ve made love. Cook, eat, speak, appreciate each other, and express your gratitude for having him in your life.

Sexual Intimate positions:

#1. The spectacular straddle

Eye gazing is the act of silently staring into the eyes of a partner for an extended amount of time. According to Brito, “eye gazing might improve sensations of safety and attunement.” She suggests combining it with a seated straddle position. Her instructions are as follows:

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  • Prop yourself up with pillows and lean on your bed frame.
  • Apply lubrication to the area around your genitals. Sit on top of your spouse, wrap your legs over them, and softly massage your genitals on your partner’s genitals.
  • Insert the penis/sex toy and do not thrust if you have a sex toy or a penis and wish to engage in intercourse.
  • Take a moment to look at each other. Say something nice to one another.

#2. Pillow under the pelvis

Place a pillow beneath your pelvis while raising your legs to promote closeness or intensity. Allow your spouse to lean against you while rubbing lubrication against your genitals. “Take your time to notice your body’s response while your partner’s genitals are against you and their shoulders are resting on you,” Brito advises.

“If you want to engage in intercourse, slowly insert your penis/sex toy, not rushing but appreciating your interaction.” Pause to note texture, temperature, and pressure, and then share your observations with one another.

By slowing down the speed of your sexual interactions and engaging in postures like this one that allow a lot of body-on-body contacts you create space for a shared sense of appreciation for the other.

#3. Edge of the bed

Brito recommends this position because it allows your spouse to enjoy your hands on them while also allowing you to wonder at their body moving against you while they enjoy themselves. It can be quite intimate to support your spouse while they discover their body.

#4. The yab yum

Prem suggests this tantric sex position, often known as the lotus sex position, as a surefire connection accelerator. Follow the Eye Gazing Straddle directions, but then begin to engage in “circular breathing.” When one person breathes in, the other person breathes out, and vice versa.

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Prem explains, “This generates a circular flow and allows you to exchange energy.” “Yab yum allows you to connect to your heart chakras.” Another breathing technique is to breathe in and out at the same rate. This causes your hearts to beat at the same tempo, allowing you to be more empathic with one another and understand what the other is experiencing.


Whatever method you take to learn how to be more sexually intimate with your boyfriend, remember that openness and honesty are the keys to any sort of connection. Intimacy cannot be founded on deception, therefore don’t be scared to be honest with your partner(s) about your desires.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I be more intimate with my boyfriend?

Methods for Increasing Intimacy in Your Relationship

  • Try something different. A daily routine can make you feel more secure and at ease.
  • Reminisce. Remember the fantastic times you’ve had together.
  • Touch more.
  • Schedule sex. 
  • Keep in touch.
  • Show your appreciation.
  • Take a date.
  • Be vulnerable.

How can I improve my arousal with my partner?

According to Nagoski, here are some strategies couples might utilize to get their accelerator running.

  • Make time for sex. According to Nagoski, couples that stay in long-term, happy relationships prioritize sex and even put it on their calendars.
  • Stay away from the chasing dynamic.
  • Stop obsessing over sex.

What are the 4 types of intimacy?

The four types of closeness and how to improve them in your relationship

  • Emotional closeness. Emotional intimacy entails developing a sense of closeness to how you and your spouse feel through empathy, respect, and communication.
  • Mental intimacy. 
  • Spiritual intimacy. 
  • Physical intimacy.

What is intimacy to a man?

In general, intimacy is fully knowing someone while simultaneously feeling deeply known yourself. It’s something humans crave, and while males may find it more difficult to express it at times, that doesn’t mean they don’t need or want it.

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