Dating a woman who has a child or kids can be exciting, fulfilling, and challenging all at the same time. Traditional dating allows two people to get to know each other, form a special bond, and decide whether or not starting a family is right for them. These are some of the same steps that couples take when children are present, but with a little more creativity and sensitivity. Even if you’re not sure if you’re ready to be a parent, remember that respecting a woman’s children is essential for making a relationship work. After all, you want to be a positive influence in her life.
Dating a Recently Divorced Woman With Kids
My heart went out to a nice guy who emailed me asking for advice on dating a divorced woman with kids. I felt so bad for the guy because he has never been in this situation before, and the relationship is causing him frustration, resentment, and disappointment as a result.
So, here’s a rundown of what you should know if you’re dating a recently divorced woman with kids. By the way, this also applies to dating a divorced man with kids!
#1. No matter what, the kids will always come first.
That means that if you have plans with the woman you’re dating and her child decides he or she needs some mommy time, and she cancels your date, you must accept it, be OK with it, not resent her, and even respect the fact that she is there for her child.
#2. The relationship may move more slowly than you would like.
Those who have never been married and/or do not have kids find it much easier to enter into a serious relationship. It’s not easy, but you must persevere. The only other option is to leave. Or you can just be disappointed and frustrated all the time.
#3. She may be distant at times if the divorce is recent or ongoing.
Except for those who have gone through a divorce, no one understands the impact. It can be exhausting, frustrating, upsetting, and infuriating, resulting in severe anxiety, stress, depression, rage, or sadness.
#4. Recognize that dating a woman with kids is not the same as dating someone without kids.
In many ways, dating a woman with kids is similar to dating anyone else. You can still have fun and spend quality time together while getting to know each other better. It should be noted, however, that a woman with children will have other priorities. Understand that her children will most likely take precedence over the relationship.
#5. Understand her priorities.
When you’re getting to know a woman you’re thinking about dating, ask her about what’s important in her life. What are some of the things she does on a daily basis? What does she do in her spare time, and how does she spend it? A woman with children will most likely have structure and routine to help her family balance their lives. Being able to be flexible with her schedule and her children’s schedules, as well as creative with spending quality time together, can make your relationship exciting and full of gratitude.
#6. How to Become Involved in Her Children
It’s amazing when your partner is interested in the things that are most important to you. It’s the same when you’re dating a woman who has children. She will appreciate it if you show genuine interest in her family.
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Dating a Married Woman With Kids
Here are a few things to consider if you’re dating a married woman with kids.
#1. Do not keep expectations
It is obvious—do not have any expectations from a married woman. You may believe that if you truly love her, she will abandon her husband and children for you. Even if she explicitly tells you the same thing, there is no guarantee.
#2. Don’t expect a normal relationship.
It is unusual to be in a relationship with a married woman. You are not permitted to go on dates or hold hands in public. Each time you see her, you may both be afraid that it is the last time you will see her. The fear of being caught, as well as the uncertain nature of the relationship, can wreak havoc on your relationship.
#3. Be aware that you are only adding spice to her life.
Some partners who are dissatisfied with their marital life may seek a temporary relationship outside of marriage. A relationship that provides her with something she does not have in her married life.
#4. Remember that her family will always come first.
You may have planned a lovely date with her and informed her several weeks in advance. However, on the day of your date, she chooses to spend time with her child or her mother-in-law and cancels your date. It demonstrates that her family comes first, not you.
#5. Comprehensively comprehend her feelings for her husband
Does she talk about her husband a lot when she’s with you? For example, you tell her about your trip to Japan, and she tells you that her husband brought her a kimono from Japan. If she frequently mentions her husband, it indicates that he is on her mind most of the time and that she misses him.
#6. Do not encroach on her personal space.
If you support her, don’t make the mistake of paying a visit to her workplace or home. It will jeopardize your standing in her eyes. Another disadvantage of dating a married woman is that you must be mindful of every step you take.
Dating a Divorced Woman with Kids
As a divorced woman with kids, I believe I can assist this man in understanding where the woman’s mind is and what she may be thinking. Here’s what you should do if you’re dating a divorced woman with kids.
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#1. She doesn’t have a high sense of self-esteem.
Perhaps her husband abandoned her. Perhaps she had to return home to live with her parents. Her ex-husband could have been abusive. There are numerous factors that could lead to a divorced person having low self-esteem and thus holding back. If you realize it’s not YOU, but her, your self-esteem will improve, and you won’t be under the impression that she isn’t interested in you.
#2. Be willing to err on the side of caution a lot of the time.
Dating a woman with children necessitates flexibility and the ability to make plans 10 days in advance. Because any single parent will tell you that schedules and children’s activities change every hour. That could be a problem if you’re a planner.
#3. Involvement in her divorce is a huge mistake.
Don’t make the mistake of hating her ex if she vents about him, cries, or tells you what a jerk he is. In other words, this is her divorce, not yours, and her ex-husband isn’t present to defend himself, so you don’t have the full picture. Simply try to be supportive of her feelings and to be available to her in any way you can. Give advice, but do so with caution. You don’t have a complete picture of the situation.
#4. Express your appreciation to her
It’s always nice to show your partner how much you appreciate their company and how special they are. Demonstrate that you understand and appreciate the extra effort she makes to spend time with you. One example of this would be to offer to pay for a babysitter.
#5. Take the time to get to know her and her kids.
When dating anyone, it is critical to take your time in building a relationship. Going at your own pace will allow you to learn more about yourself, your partner, and the family dynamics, which will help both of you decide if this is a good fit. If it’s a good fit, going slow and steady will allow you both to develop healthy boundaries and structure the relationship.
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Why Dating a Woman with Kids is Bad
Here are some of the reasons why dating a woman who has kids is a bad idea:
#1. Her kids are always her first priority
If you need your partner’s undivided attention in a relationship where she has a child, you’ve reached the end of the road. Her child will always be her top priority, no matter what.
#2. Relationship with her ex
Many single mothers have a good relationship with their ex. Because of her children, she will be bonded to this person for the rest of her life. That will irritate you at times.
#3. Her kid may dislike you.
Her child may dislike you at first and may never warm up to you. If her children don’t like you, you’ll face a slew of obstacles that will jeopardize your relationship.
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#4. You may not like her kid.
If you don’t like her kids, the relationship will fail. If you can’t get over it, the best solution is to end the relationship.
#5. Sexy time is not available on demand.
If you’re at her house, the child is sleeping, and you’ve started a sweet relationship with her. When her child wakes up and cries just as you’re about to get a little hot and heavy, you have to come to a complete halt, and even if your mood is ruined, you can’t become frustrated. That is not at all a pleasant sensation.
When Dating a Woman with Older Kids
Dating a woman who has an older child can be difficult at times. Here are some things to look out for if you’re in that type of relationship:
#1. Give her some space
Make sure the new teen has as much space as she requires. You may want to be there to guide the youth in her life and get closer to her, but she will only come to you if he feels it is necessary.
#2. Be kind to the mother.
Kids will judge you based on how you treat their mother. They can detect deception, so make certain that you treat their mother as well as treat them sincerely from the bottom of your heart.
#3. Get involved in the whole process
It will help you a lot if you express your enthusiasm for your children’s hobbies. Participating in their world is the first step in tying you two together. You can plan some activities for you, your woman, and her kids to do together.
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To summarize, dating a woman who has kids is difficult. That doesn’t rule out the possibility of the relationship working. But knowing what to expect helps, as does taking your time, being patient, and accepting that you are not the priority. Some men and women are unable to handle this, which is understandable. Just be truthful to yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it hard dating someone with a child?
When you add a child and possibly a co-parent to the mix, there are even more variables to consider. While dating someone with kids can be difficult, sex and relationship expert Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D. says that it not only can work, but it can lead to a far more fulfilling relationship.
Is it good to date a girl with a child?
IMPORTANT: You should not date her. Your presence will have an effect on the child. No matter how well you think you’re doing as a good person if you’re not ready to care for a child, dating the child’s mother will only make things worse for that child.
Is dating a single mom worth it?
While it may seem counterintuitive to exclude single parents as potential dating partners, it may be the best thing you can do. It’s better to be upfront about your unwillingness or inability to deal with the challenges. It will spare everyone, including innocent children, the agony of a future breakup.
Is it hard dating a single mom?
Having kids is a large responsibility that can make it difficult for single mothers to focus on dating. It’s also possible that you believe dating single moms is too difficult. There is a lot to think about, and her attention will almost always be drawn to her children rather than you.