A boundary is a limit or a set of rules. There are a lot of healthy boundaries but how do you know these healthy boundaries? Also, what are these boundaries in relationships?
WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS?
What do we mean when we talk about boundaries in our relationships? Well, boundaries in relationships are limits or rules set in a relationship. In short, it protects their personal interests. It gives them standards to know how to act and the extent of the relationship. In short, how far you’d go in your relationship.
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
Some boundaries in relationships are healthy but some aren’t. These type of boundaries needs to be confronted and set without any fear of losing your partner. Because healthy boundaries tend to keep our minds at ease in our relationship and make us feel extremely comfortable. Why? Because everything is done when and how you want it to be.
TYPES OF BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
#1. Physical Boundaries:
Physical boundaries in relationships are all about privacy, body, and of course personal space. Personally, I love my personal space. When you are not too comfortable with public displays of emotions like your partner kissing you in public. Let them know, don’t keep it in.
Although sharing these preferences might be a little difficult at first it’s something you have to do to have a happy relationship.
#2. Emotional Boundaries:
Emotional boundaries in relationships are usually set when it comes to the issue of our emotions. Although, some persons might consciously or unconsciously be involved in emotional blackmailing their partners. So, these boundaries need to be set especially when your partner is always upset and guilt-tripping you. You might feel detached and undervalued. It is a clear sign that boundaries need to be set in your relationship.
#3. Sexual Boundaries:
Sexual boundaries revolve around physical intimacy. The dos and don’ts of your sexual life. Sexual boundaries need to be set when;
A. There is always unwanted sensual touch in your relationship.
B. Forcing sexual connections when you aren’t ready
However, it is totally ok to discuss these boundaries in your relationship. Healthy sexual boundaries include mutual agreement and consent and more importantly understanding.
#4. Intellectual Boundaries:
An intellectual boundary encompasses our ideas, beliefs, and ideas. Although, women usually have to deal with intellectual timidity. Is your partner constantly making you feel like your opinions are not needed? Or probably making you feel like you aren’t smart enough? These often cause;
a. Depression
b. Anxiety
To get respect from your partner even if you have different views, you must set boundaries in relationships.
#5. Financial Boundaries:
Financial boundaries are all about money. Although, some couples love sharing bank accounts as a sign of love. It is not all bad but when one of you is a reckless spender, well it is a problem. Boundaries are set up. What kind of boundaries?
a. Getting details of how much you guys save together
b. Having separate accounts etc.
SETTING BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
Setting good personal boundaries is a little more tricky than it seems. Although, setting boundaries helps;
1. Create healthy relationships
2. Boost our self-esteem
3. Increase confidence
4. Reduce stress, depression, and anxiety.
But when there is a lack of these boundaries, it makes the relationship a little wide. Because there are no rules involved. It is an open door for anyone to determine how you should feel, your thoughts, and your needs. Then setting boundaries in relationships is very important.
EXAMPLES OF HEALTHY BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
We have 5 major types of healthy boundaries that help the relationship thrive but how do you set them?
1. Don’t be scared to speak your mind when you are not too comfortable.
2. Honor what is important to you by choosing to put yourself first.
3. Do not let anyone guilt-trip you.
4. Ensure you share personal information in a mutual way.
5. Say “yes” when you have to and “no” when you need to
6. Do not over-commit, your time is precious. Protect your time.
7. We all need space right? Do not be scared to ask for some when you need it.
Boundaries Communication
How can you and your partner know what each other’s limits are? By discussing them! In a good relationship, communication is essential, and boundaries are a vital component of an ongoing conversation between you and your spouse. Boundary discussions can take place whenever and anywhere they want! Inform your companion if you appreciate or dislike something they do. “Hey, I really like it when you…” or “I’m not comfortable when we…” tells them what’s up. Partners in a healthy relationship respect each other’s limits once they have been communicated. And if you’re unsure about your partner’s boundaries, just ask! “Is this okay?” or “Are you okay with this?” can help kickstart the conversation. Remember: if you’re frightened of discussing your limits with your partner because you’re afraid they’ll react with anger or violence, it’s a sign that your relationship is unhealthy or abusive.
Boundaries that are Healthy vs. Unhealthy
How can you tell if a boundary is healthy…or unhealthy? It is critical to understand that healthy boundaries help to protect and respect you, whereas poor limits seek to dominate or injure someone else. “I need room to hang out with my pals and do activities I enjoy on my own,” a healthy boundary might be. However, if your partner says, “I need you to stop talking to other guys/girls because you could cheat/I get jealous,” that is not a healthy boundary; it is a warning indication that your partner may have trust issues and is attempting to control who you spend out with. Here are some more excellent examples of healthy and unhealthy limits!
Can Boundaries Shift?
Can your limits shift over time? Yes! It’s natural for boundaries to evolve as we gain life experience or become more at ease in our relationships. We may not be okay with something at the start of a relationship, but we may be completely fine with it a few months later. On the other side, after experiencing something for the first time, we may recognize it exceeds a threshold for us. Every individual has the freedom to alter their opinion about their boundaries at any time. What matters is that you communicate any boundary modifications to your spouse and that you make changes because YOU WANT TO, not because you are pressured, forced, or tricked into doing so.
Boundaries in Relationships FAQ’s
What are common boundaries people have?
These boundaries are often classified into a few distinct categories: heartfelt (protecting our own emotional well-being) the physical (protecting our physical space) genital (protecting our needs and safety sexually)
What do boundaries look like in a relationship?
Boundaries can be defined as how emotionally near you allow someone to approach you. They are also the point at which you draw the line in a relationship. They state how much you are willing to offer or take before seeking changes or calling it quits.
How do you know if you have bad boundaries?
Individuals who lack adequate boundaries frequently struggle with telling others how they feel (for fear of rejection or ridicule), feel burdened by how others view them (due to a desire to please), and strive to make everyone happy with their performance (at work, in school, at home, etc.)
