While it may raise some eyebrows, a 3-way relationship can be a healthy and balanced way to commit to those you care about. What exactly are you looking for? A 3-way relationship, or throuple, as they know it to be in the modern era, is not abnormal, wrong, or strange. However, this does not imply that it is appropriate for everyone. It wouldn’t work because I’m extremely envious and would end up feeling excluded.
That doesn’t mean it isn’t the ideal solution for someone else. It is, in fact, true. While you might not think of being able to love more than one person, for some, being completely in love with two other people is not only normal but also natural.
What exactly is a 3-way Relationship?
Perhaps the reason so many people are surprised by this type of relationship is that they confuse it with an open relationship. They are not the same thing.
Let’s look at why this is so and bust a few myths along the way.
1. It is possible to love more than one person. I’ve already mentioned this one. It has been demonstrated that you can love more than one person at the same time. For someone in that situation, being in a throuple is the ideal way to satisfy everyone’s love for one another without causing the relationship to suffer from unfulfilled emotions.
2. It has nothing to do with sex. A 3-way relationship is not the same as a threesome. Yes, three people in this kind of relationship are likely to have sex at the same time. It is not the primary focus of this type of relationship. A three-way relationship is first and foremost about love, and if sex happens to arise, well, that’s a nice bonus!
3. A 3-way relationship is simply a regular relationship involving three people. There is no distinction between this type of relationship and any other, except for the number of people involved. A two-person relationship, is a balanced and committed relationship between those three people.
4. An open relationship allows you to sleep with other people, whereas a 3-way relationship does not. Many people get the two mixed up here, but a 3-way relationship isn’t casual or open.
5. There are no hard and fast rules about how it begins. A 3-way relationship can develop when a married couple decides to include another person in their lives. The relationship can form by three single people, or it could be formed by a dating couple who end up as a three.
Is a 3-way relationship suitable for everyone?
No way, Jose! In this type of relationship, some people will become the worst version of themselves. Consider your options carefully before becoming one-third of a throuple.
Have you ever heard the expression “two’s the company, three’s a crowd?” There is some truth to it. It’s easy for two people in a circle of three to focus on each other, leaving the third out. It’s also possible that one member has stronger feelings for another than the third, causing them to pay more attention to that person.
As a result, they neglect the third person with whom they are supposed to be in a relationship.
When things aren’t going well, it can turn into a battleground. However, when it is the best option for all three parties involved, a three-way relationship can be the ideal way to spend time and be committed to the two people you care about the most in the world.
However, if you want your relationship to work with two of the most important people in your life, make communication a top priority for all three of you. It is critical that you discuss anything that is bothering you, speak up when you don’t like or agree with something, or when feel like your needs are being ignored. Allowing problems to fester in this type of relationship is risky. It may result in a breakup that neither of you wants.
There are various types of relationships, and everyone is free to choose what works best for them. Companionship is one of the primary benefits of a relationship, and it is something that everyone desires. So, this benefit can be yours no matter what kind of relationship you choose. You must be committed to a relationship to ensure that it works out between you and your partner (s). Expect conflicts because resolving them helps the relationship improve and builds intimacy through understanding. This guide will answer the question “What is a throuple?” in greater detail.
What exactly is a throuple?
Have you ever seen a three-way relationship in which three people are in a loving and romantic relationship? This is the exact image of what a throuple looks like for those who wonder what it is. A throuple relationship is defined as a balanced, committed, and consensual relationship involving three partners.
A consensual agreement binds the individuals in a throuple, and they can choose whether to have an open or closed relationship within the throuple. A throuple with an open relationship means that any of the three partners can have romantic relationships with people outside the throuple. A closed relationship within the throuple, on the other hand, forbids any of the three partners from having sex with anyone outside the throuple.
Throuple vs. Open relationship
Let us first define what an open relationship is.
An open relationship is typically formed by two people who have mutually agreed to open their relationship to other people, usually for sex and not for romance or love. A threesome is when three people have sex at the same time. A threesome has a very sexual vibe to it.
A throuple is now a three-person relationship that is mutually agreed upon. A throuple’s sexual relationship is between the three people involved. Furthermore, a throuple is about more than just sex. Feelings and romance are involved. As you read the following sections, you will gain a better understanding of what a throuple is.
Understanding the significance of the unicorn in a relationship
Now that you know what a throuple is, let’s look at what a unicorn means in a relationship.
A unicorn in a relationship is a person who is ready to join an existing relationship. This person is set to become the unicorn relationship’s third romantic partner, with whom he or she will have all types of romantic connections.
The third individual in a unicorn polyamory relationship must be comfortable with the fact that rules existed before they joined the relationship. This is a delicate situation in which not everyone feels at ease. Furthermore, when a unicorn joins and three-person relationships form, things will not go as smoothly as expected. It may be difficult for the first two partners to adjust to the fact that there is a third person who requires equal attention and love.
However, this does not imply that they should abandon their relationship. All that is required for everyone to adjust to the new reality is understanding, commitment, and love.
What exactly are the “rules” of a throuple relationship?
“There are no ‘rules’ that all triads must follow,” Schneider explains. Because most throuple have their own unique relationship agreements, it is impossible to provide examples of how they work across the board.
The three must decide as a group what approach they want to take and what dynamics feel right to them in terms of who has sex with whom, where everyone sleeps, how date nights work, and so on.
“A V relationship is one in which one person is the ‘hinge,’ and they have two relationships, but they are not in a relationship with each other. The letter ‘V’ is a simple visual representation of it “Schneider explains. The way people in a V relationship relate to one another varies depending on the relationship. “In my work, I’ve seen many configurations of V dynamics, and they all look different. There is a wide range of how closely all parties involved in Vs relate to one another.
Metamours (people who share a partner) are sometimes close friends, housemates, and/or co-parents. They sometimes prefer not to know each other at all “Dow claims. While triads or throuples are typically three people who share a romantic and sexual connection with both of the other parties, V relationships are also sometimes referred to as triads.
Sleeping with people who are not members of the triad
It may be perfectly acceptable for throuple members to seek love or sex outside of the triad. Or it could be considered cheating for some throuples. It all comes down to the mutually agreed-upon rules that govern a specific relationship.
Schneider explains that not all throuples are open relationships: “Some triads are polyfidelitous, which means that the triad may be considered closed; in that members of it do not date outside of it.” In other cases, they may be willing to have relationships outside of the triad if certain agreements are in place. “Triad members may wish to be consulted before dating someone outside of the group, or not,” she explains. “One of the triad members may not want to date outside of it, whereas the other two do.”
“I’ve heard it said that it’s best for all three parties in a throuple (3-way relationship) to sleep together so that no one feels left out. Any such absolute in terms of how relationships should function is ridiculous to me “says Anna Dow, LCSW, a therapist at Vast Love who specializes in non-monogamous relationships and who also practices consensual non-monogamy. “Each of us is a one-of-a-kind creation.
Thus, rather than defaulting to any preconceived shoulds,’ it makes much more sense to structure our relationships around the preferences of the people involved. One of my partners is particularly sensitive to sensory input and prefers to sleep alone. Even if we were in a triad relationship, he would prefer to sleep alone.”
Date nights and quality time for people in triads are typically a mix of activities involving all three (3) members of the relationship and some with only two of them. There are no unbreakable rules.
“Rules are useful in situations where there are power differentials, such as parenting. In adult relationships where people treat one another as equals, it is much healthier for everyone to openly share their thoughts, feelings, boundaries, and desires with the goal of reaching agreements that are considerate of all parties into it “Dow explains.
Throuple Marriage Legal
It is perfectly legal for three consenting adults to be in a relationship (3-way relationship); however, being recognized by the state is a little more difficult. Three people cannot currently be married and enjoy the benefits that come with it, such as filing taxes together. There are, however, small signs of progress. For example, a Canadian court ruled that two men and one woman in a throuple (3-way relationship) could all be registered as the legal parents of their child born in 2017.
When should you think about having a throuple relationship?
One of the difficulties people face when looking for a three-way partner is determining the best time to start a throuple. The truth is that there is no such thing as a perfect time to consider a throuple relationship.
However, there are some indicators that a three-way relationship is in order.
1. You are becoming dissatisfied with your current relationship.
If your current relationship isn’t working out, it might be time to consider a throuple. Transitioning from a two-person relationship to a three-person relationship presents a new challenge that people look forward to.
2. You want to learn more and feel what it’s like.
Humans are inherently daring creatures. If you’ve heard of the throuple concept, you’ve probably considered trying it out. There are two main ways to feel what a throuple is like.
First, if you are in a relationship, you can discuss with your partner the possibility of looking for a third partner who is open to polyamory organically. If you’re single, you can also join an existing relationship if they’re actively looking for a unicorn.
3. When you feel the urge to cheat
It may be appropriate to enter a throuple if you want to avoid cheating. When you are in a relationship with two people, your chances of cheating are lower because you have two people with whom you are emotionally connected.
Advantages of being in a Throuple Relationship
The majority of the benefits of a throuple relationship (3-way relationship) are similar to those of a two-person relationship. For a throuple relationship to last, each party must first be willing to compromise on all fronts and properly understand each other.
1. More assistance during difficult times
In a monogamous relationship, you only have one person to lean on. However, in a triple marriage or relationship, the support and care are multiplied by two. Because you have a strong support system, you will be able to get back on your feet quickly.
2. You gain more knowledge
A throuple boosts your chances of knowing and learning more. This is due to the fact that you are learning from two people rather than one. If you are unfamiliar with something, you can learn from one or both of your partners.
3. Your network grows
Being the third person in a polyamorous relationship expands your network. Your partners’ friends and acquaintances are automatically added to your network. This means you have a broader range of opportunities available to you.
4. An extra pair of hands for parenting
It becomes easier if you are in a relationship and raising a child or children.
Because there are three people in the relationship, at least one of them will always be available to care for the child. It is also beneficial to the child’s mental health because having three parents who genuinely care about him is a surreal experience.
5. You learn how to deal with jealousy issues.
Jealousy is a toxic emotion that can destroy a relationship. Jealous people may find it difficult to see themselves in that light in a two-person relationship. A throuple (3-way relationship), will motivate you to confront and resolve your jealousy issues. If you worry about something and become jealous, the only way to deal with it is to communicate effectively.
It will be easier to put your heads together and figure out a way out if you air your grievances with your partners.
6. Increased emotional fulfillment
Sometimes one partner is insufficient to provide optimal emotional satisfaction, which is why some people change partners quickly. In a throuple, you have a better chance of getting a lot of emotional satisfaction.
7. Sexual diversity
People sometimes enjoy throuple relationships because they allow them to experiment with different sex options. It may be difficult to try new things in sex with just one partner.
A three-way relationship, on the other hand, allows everyone to put their cards on the table in order to figure out what is best for everyone sexually. If you are in an open relationship, you can learn new things about sex and introduce them to your partners to try.
Disadvantages of being in a Throuple Relationship
Three-person relationships are not for everyone. When transitioning from a two-person relationship to a three-person relationship, some people may feel uncomfortable, cheated, or stuck.
Here are a few drawbacks to considering a throuple relationship.
1. Lack of preparation for a full shift
When a couple looks for a third person, they must be ready for a significant change. Because they are unfamiliar with the environment, the unicorn in the relationship may struggle to adjust. The original couple, on the other hand, would need time to adjust because there is a third person in the picture.
2. Problems with communication
There is a communication stutter when a throuple begins. To keep everyone on the same page, maturity and understanding is the key requirement. To avoid problems in a throuple, each member must effectively communicate with the others.
3. Inconsistent display of affection and attention
Although it is possible for everyone in a three-way relationship to receive an equal amount of love and attention, it takes a lot of effort. Any of the partners in the throuple may feel excluded from the relationship. Unbeknownst to them, it could be an unintentional act.
How should you approach your current partner about a three-way relationship?
One difficult nut to crack in a two-person relationship is bringing up the throuple idea with your partner. Before you tell your partner about your interest, you should ask yourself a few questions.
Here are a few critical questions to ask yourself.
1. What is the purpose of my desire for a throuple?
You must have a firm answer to this question in order to back up your claims when speaking with your partner. Your justifications must be logical and not selfish.
2. Why am I unable to consider a polyamorous relationship?
What distinguishes a throuple is that all of the partners have a duty of commitment and love to only one another. It is cheating if any of them defaults by sleeping with people outside the throuple.
As a result, consider why you and your partner cannot consider another type of polyamorous relationship in which you have romantic partners outside of the relationship.
3. Why am I opposed to an open relationship?
Some people prefer an open relationship to a throuple, and you may wonder why you did not consider that possibility. You can have a sexual relationship with someone outside of your relationship in an open relationship, and your partner will be aware.
4. Am I ready for a complete change in my relationship?
It is difficult to make the transition from a two-person relationship to a throuple. It may have an emotional and mental toll on you and your partner, and you must determine whether you are ready for it. Once you’ve answered these questions, it’s time to pitch the idea to your partner.
Here are a few pointers to get started.
- Always begin with a “I statement.”
Take ownership of the idea if you want to start a throuple relationship.
- Describe how the idea came to you and why you like it.
Perhaps you’ve read about it in a book or seen a movie about it and are convinced that it would be beneficial to you and your partner. So, explain it to your partner.
- Avoid imposing on your partner.
You two are currently in a relationship. As a result, your partner has equal authority to make relationship decisions. While discussing this idea, solicit their feedback and do not impose your ideas on them.
- Be prepared to hear the word ‘No.’
It is not required that your partner agrees to your whims and fancies. They have the ability to state unequivocally, “No!” You must be ready to hear a negative response from them. It is then up to you to decide whether your partner or the idea of a triple relationship is more important to you.
“What exactly is a throuple?” is common among those who are unaware of what it entails. A throuple, like any other relationship, requires the fundamental ingredients for success.
One of the fundamental principles of a three-way relationship is that each partner must be willing to exhibit characteristics such as selflessness, loyalty, commitment, and intentionality. There will be difficulties in a throuple relationship, but they can be overcome if each partner is committed to staying.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a three way marriage called?
A group marriage, also known as a conjoint marriage, is a marital arrangement in which three or more adults enter into sexual, affective, romantic, or other intimate short- or long-term partnerships and share any combination of finances, residences, care, or kin work. Polygamy is considered to be a form of group marriage.
How does a polyamorous relationship work?
Polyamory, also known as consensual nonmonogamy, is the practice of having multiple intimate relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all involved parties. It does not have a gender. Anyone of any gender can have multiple partners.