RELATIONSHIP DEPRESSION: Signs, Causes & All You Should Know


Depression can hurt a relationship in several ways. On the other hand, some relationship behaviors can make someone depressed. The relationship between depression and romantic relationships can become cyclical, and it’s critical to understand how one influences the other.

What is Relationship Depression?

Sadness or depression are feelings everyone has from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you are depressed. Depression is characterized by intense sadness that lasts for an extended period, sometimes weeks, months, or years. When you are depressed, it can start to affect your daily life, well-being, and physical health.

Men may be unaware that they are depressed in their relationship. Even if they admit it to themselves, they are often hesitant to talk about it or seek help. Depression can be treated, though; the sooner you notice the signs, the faster you can get better.

Relationship Depression Causes

Relationship depression can cause or worsen depressive symptoms for a variety of reasons. These are some examples:

#1. Infidelity

Cheating can erode trust and leave you or your partner feeling betrayed, humiliated, and angry. It can also contribute to feelings of depression.

#2. Abuse

Depression and other mood disorders can be exacerbated by physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

#3. Previous adversity

In general, trauma is defined as a person’s reaction to a highly stressful (or traumatic) situation, experience, or event. Trauma does not only affect you in the present; it can also have long-term consequences.

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#4. Distance

A couple may face a variety of challenges, including physical distance. Long-distance relationships often have extra challenges that can affect how a couple talks to each other, shows affection and feels close. This can also impact how one or both partners perceive the relationship.

#5. Goals that clash

Tension can arise when partners, both as individuals and as a couple, disagree on their future. While many couples find ways to complement one another’s aspirations and goals, others struggle to find this alignment. When two people’s plans clash, it can cause issues in their relationship. It could even be the end.

Relationship Depression Symptoms

Depression symptoms in a relationship are not always clear-cut and obvious. Here’s a checklist of things to look for:

#1. Your sex life has dwindled or vanished.

A staggering 75 percent of depressed people report a lack of sex drive. While an ebb and flow of sexual desire are normal in a relationship and in an individual, a long-term lack of sexual connection in your relationship may indicate depression.

#2. You are depressed about your relationship.

A sense of hopelessness is a major predictor of depression and suicidal ideation. If you’re feeling down about your future together, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doomed.

#3. Emotions appear to be the enemy.

Most of us have difficulty dealing with negative emotions, but people who are depressed have a tough time with this. They are easily overwhelmed by the intensity of their emotions and thus shut down when strong emotions arise.

#4. You feel compelled to act out.

Depressed men, in particular, are more likely to express their depression outwardly. A depressed man is more reasonable to act out his depression by drinking alcohol, becoming aggressive, having affairs, or withdrawing from his loved ones.

Related Article: HOW TO LOVE SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION: Red Flags & Tips to Deal With Them

#5. You are suffering from anxiety.

Anxiety and depression are highly comorbid, which means they are frequently seen together, frequently in the form of mixed anxiety and depression. Sleep problems, concentration difficulties, low energy, high irritability, worry, expecting the worst, and being constantly on guard are all symptoms of mixed anxiety and depression, and they can pose a challenge to your relationship.

Sexless Relationship Depression

If the parties in a relationship are not intimate. Living in a sexless relationship or without physical contact can be detrimental to a relationship because sex confirms love. Feeling unloved by your spouse or being in a sexless relationship can lead to depression. Typical symptoms of this type of depression include:

  • Irritability
  • Insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Significant weight gain or loss
  • Appetite loss
  • Irritability
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Anxiety attacks
  • Numbness

A sexless relationship that is depressing can also make you want to have an affair. Insecurity can be brought on by a lack of affection and a desire to be desired, which you may try to satisfy with another person. As a result, your relationship will suffer greatly.

Long Distance Relationship Depression

Depression is widespread in long-distance relationships. You may have already experienced it if you are in this type of relationship.

Depression in a long-distance relationship is characterized by sadness and emptiness caused by the fact that the person you love is so far away. Depression can be overwhelming and debilitating at times. This emotion has the potential to take over your life and destroy your relationship. You can overcome depression by confiding in one another or seeking professional help.

Can a Long-Distance Relationship Cause Depression?

When you are in a long-distance relationship, you may not see your romantic partner for an extended period. When in a romantic relationship, you expect physical closeness and an intimate connection with the person you choose to be with.

However, in a long-distance relationship, you get to be alone most of the time, so feeling alone while in a relationship can be perplexing. You may drift apart or your feelings will fade, and you will lose interest in your long-distance relationship.

If you don’t communicate effectively, your conversations will become dull, making staying in such a relationship even more challenging.

Related Article: How to Deal with Trust Issues and Insecurities in any Relationship

If you are in a long-distance relationship that you no longer enjoy, you may become depressed. If your relationship isn’t working, you should figure out what’s causing it.

Every situation, however, is unique. You could be afraid of being alone. Or maybe you’ve grown attached to this person and don’t want to let them go. Keep in mind that it is time to make changes if you are unhappy in your current long-distance relationship.

Relationship Depression Test

Sometimes depression comes out of nowhere, especially if you have struggled with depression throughout your relationship life. Sometimes you can pinpoint a cause for the recent depressive mood you’ve been experiencing, and sometimes you can’t. If your relationship is the source of your recent bout with depression, this could be extremely difficult to admit and accept.

So, how can you tell if your relationship is causing it or if you’re struggling as a result of it? Because of how deeply involved you become in a mental and emotional relationship, it can potentially harm and help your mental health at times.

Take this “am I depressed because of my relationship” quiz today to find out if you’re depressed due to your relationship.

Questions Excerpt

Have you lost interest in your favorite activities due to your relationship?

A. Without a doubt.

B. In a way

C. No

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Has your current relationship caused you to become less outgoing and energetic?

A. No

B. Without a doubt.

C. In some ways.

Have you ever suffered from depression before, or is this your first time?

A. I’ve always suffered from depression.

B. I’ve never had anything like it before.

C. It has come and gone throughout my life.

Does your relationship cause you stress?

A. No, not at all.

B. Yes, it does.

C. On occasion

Do you believe you cannot change or improve your relationship?

A. No, I’m sorry that my depression is affecting my relationship.

B. All the time.

C. Occasionally, because my partner does not understand what it is like to be me.

Has your physical health recently deteriorated?

A. Not that I’m aware of.

B. Yes

C. I’m not sure.

Do you find yourself trying to keep busy or diverting your attention away from your relationship?

A. No, not at all.

B. All of the time.

C. On occasion.

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Do you feel relieved when your partner is preoccupied or when he or she leaves?

A. No, I enjoy having them around.

B. All of the time.

C. On occasion

Has your self-esteem suffered as a result of this relationship?

A. No, I don’t believe so.

B. Without a doubt.

C. I’m not sure.

Do you feel stuck in your relationship?

A. Not at all.

B. All of the time.

C. On occasion

Does your partner appear to be understanding of your situation?

A. Yes

B. Certainly not.

C. On occasion

Does your partner criticize and blame you for your depression, or are they supportive and understanding?

A. Compassionate and understanding

B. Is extremely critical and constantly blames me.

C. They simply do not comprehend what it is like to be me.

How do you feel when you’re with your partner?

A. At ease

B. It is conditional.

C. Overwhelmed

Related Article: Mixed Anxiety Depressive Disorder: Common Symptoms, Causes, and Treatments

Have any of your friends criticized your relationship?

A. No, they believe my partner is good for me.

B. On occasion

C. They believe my partner is unsuitable for me.

Do you notice a drop in your mood when your partner enters the room?

A. Without a doubt.

B. On occasion

C. No way, no how

Has your partner’s family noticed a significant change in your personality since you began dating?

A. They have stated that they have observed a positive change in me.

B. Not at all.

C. They have stated that they have observed a negative change in me.

Do you think having your partner around has been a relief?

A. Not at all.

B. On occasion

C. Without a doubt.

Did you feel the need to see a psychologist before meeting your partner?

A couple of times

B. No, not all of them.

C. Yes

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Have you seriously considered ending your relationship to protect your mental health?

A. No

B. Without a doubt.

C. On occasion

Have you had to explain your mental health issues to your partner repeatedly?

A. No

B. In a way

C. Without a doubt.

Relationship Depression Quotes

Relationships have always been a source of both great joy and profound sorrow. Surprisingly, studies have shown that married women are more likely than married men or single women to suffer from depression. Depression quotes about love and relationships elaborate on the difficulties of being vulnerable and finding and keeping pet.

  • Perhaps we all have darkness within us, and some of us are better at dealing with it than others.” Jasmine Warga’s
  • It’s difficult to pretend you love someone when you don’t, but it’s even more difficult to pretend you don’t love someone when you do.”
  • “Those who win battles we don’t know about are the strongest.”
  • How can you tell when it’s over? Maybe when you’re more in love with your memories than the person in front of you.” Aurelius, Gunnar
  • “Love can be found in those unsent drafts in your inbox.” Sometimes you wonder if things would have turned out differently if you had clicked ‘Send.'” Faraaz Kazi’s
  • “Love is an uncontrollable force.” It destroys us when we try to control it. It enslaves us when we try to imprison it. When we try to understand it, we feel lost and confused.” Paulo Coelho’s
  • I knew that looking back on my tears would make me laugh, but I had no idea that looking back on my laughter would make me cry. Seuss, Dr.
  • Relationships are transparent. “Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than to risk injuring yourself by attempting to put them back together.”
  • The sun stopped shining for me. The moral of the story is: I am depressed. I am constantly sad, and the sadness is so heavy that I cannot escape it. “Never, ever.” Nina LaCour’s
  • “When you’re happy, you enjoy the music,” she says, “but when you’re sad, you understand the lyrics.”
  • I didn’t want to get out of bed. I was sleeping much better than usual. That’s really unfortunate. When you wake up from a nightmare, it’s almost like a reverse nightmare because you’re so relieved. “I awoke in the middle of a nightmare.” – Mr. Ned Vizzini
  • “Depression is the most unpleasant experience I have ever had.” It is the inability to imagine that you will ever be cheerful again. The lack of hope.
  • “We must understand that sadness is an ocean and that some days we drown while others force us to swim.” R. M. Drake

How to Get Over Relationship Depression

What does it feel like to be depressed? What can you do to assist them in their time of need? Furthermore, what impact will their symptoms and treatment have on your relationship? While everyone’s experience with depression differs, here are a few things you can do to overcome relationship depression.

#1. Teach yourself

You can help your loved one by becoming as knowledgeable as possible about depression, including its causes, symptoms, and treatments. Request information about depression from your partner’s doctor or conduct research.

#2. Distinguish between fact and fiction

There are numerous myths surrounding depression. Depression, for example, is not the result of laziness or weakness. Your partner’s suffering may not be “all in their head.” Depression does not require an explanation. If you don’t know much about depression, you should learn more about it to challenge assumptions, ideas, and stigmas.

#3. Look after yourself.

Coping with another person’s depression can be highly stressful. It is acceptable to take some time for yourself. Self-care is not self-indulgent. You’ll benefit from making time to cultivate habits that protect your mind, body, and spirit.

Related Article: WHY BIPOLAR RELATIONSHIPS FAIL: All You Need to Know

#4. Don’t take it personally.

Depression can cause people to behave in ways they would not normally do when feeling well. They may become irritable, angry, or withdrawn. They might not want to go out with you or do things like they used to. Your significant other’s interest in sex may wane.

#5. Get support

It’s normal to be frustrated, angry, and upset when someone you care about is depressed. It is critical, however, that you do not let these feelings fester and grow. Therapists, counselors, and support groups are not just for those suffering from depression. Seeking professional assistance for yourself can help you feel supported, allow you to vent your frustrations, and make you more aware of your own emotional needs.


The end of a relationship or marriage can be a traumatic experience. It’s even mentioned as one of the events that frequently precipitate bouts of depression in the first place. While saying goodbye can be difficult, keep in mind that breaking up can also be beneficial. Keeping a journal in which you express your feelings about your breakup may help turn a potentially negative experience into a positive one, according to research.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can depression make you want to leave a relationship?

Depression makes you want to isolate yourself on your own island of despair. You may be embarrassed that you can’t shake the funk. If you don’t have the energy to connect with your partner, you might withdraw until you do. “Depression causes an emotional checkout,” Paz says.

How do I know if my relationship is depressing me?

Experts share seven warning signs that your relationship is harming your mental health and exacerbating conditions such as depression and anxiety.

  • You’ve developed depression since the beginning of the relationship.
  • Your physical condition has deteriorated.
  • You Can’t Discuss It With Them.
  • When your partner leaves, you feel relieved.

Can a relationship cause a mental breakdown?

Low self-worth, helplessness, fear, anxiety, depression, insecurity, paranoia, and even narcissism are all symptoms of toxic relationships. “Toxic relationships are hazardous to your health; they can kill you.” Stress reduces your life expectancy.

What are the top 5 symptoms of depression?

The 5 Most Common Depression Symptoms

  • Depressed (low) mood that persists. It’s normal to experience low moods from time to time.
  • Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities. We can lose interest in things we used to enjoy.
  • Worthlessness feelings
  • Inability to concentrate.
  • Suffering from suicidal ideation.
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