Depression can make you feel as if you’re living beneath a constant black cloud, making you feel blue or irritable. You may feel sluggish, fatigued, and uninterested in activities that you normally love.
Depression also leads to unusually pessimistic attitudes about yourself, others, and the future. In the course of this article, we discuss at length the signs that tell you for sure that your marriage could be the one making you depressed.
Have you ever asked or wondered, “Is my marriage causing me to be depressed?” If yes, then you’ve come to the right spot. There are ways to figure out if you are feeling situational sadness because your marriage is ending.
Is It Conceivable That My Marriage Is making me Depressed?
Yes, it’s entirely likely that your terrible relationship or marital troubles are causing, or at least contributing to, your sadness.
From no longer having sex to downplaying each other’s thoughts and concerns, there are many indicators of an unhappy marriage. To put it another way, you’re no longer having fun, and your confidence has evaporated. You feel unappreciated, and everything your partner does irritates you. Well, these are general indications of an unhealthy relationship, so even if you’re not sad, you should be concerned.
Let’s jump into some signs to look out for;
#1. You believe you have been chastised
“That’s not how I like your hair.” “You shouldn’t have purchased that new sweater in the first place.”
Criticisms are insults. Criticism, not feedback, is an issue.
Feedback is a subtle way of letting you know that whatever you’ve been doing isn’t working, and it usually begins with an “I” statement: “I was a little uneasy when I noticed your new sweater since I’m worried about whether we’ll be able to pay our bills this month.”
Constant criticism from the one person you love can lead to a breakdown, therefore this is a severe problem in your relationship that must be handled right away.
#2. You have a sense of being oppressed
When you feel small and powerless in comparison to the individual with whom you’re communicating, depression can set in.
Power imbalances do not always result in depression. In a good parent-child connection, for example, while a parent has the majority of the power, as long as that authority is used to nurture rather than to dominate the child, everything will be OK. Employers, too, wield greater influence than employees.
However, in adult love relationships, shared power is preferable to a one-up, one-down power imbalance.
On the other hand, critical words and a judgmental tone of voice make criticism difficult. Not only that, but if your partner is always criticizing you, the voice in your head may start to turn against you, making your depression worse.
#3. Your partner is attempting to exert control over you
Controlling your time, income, friendship choices, and how much time you can spend with your family are all likely to lead to feelings of despair.
If you don’t load the dishwasher his way or leave dishes on the counter, it’s an indication that your spouse is more concerned with controlling you than with being the captain of his own ship.
Remember that depression is a power disorder. Depression is likely to strike if your partner takes away your ability to make your own decisions (or, at the very least, to contribute jointly to decisions).
#4. Your partner directs your actions
Bossy behavior is demoralizing. Even a seemingly innocent command such as “Go grab the paper for me, honey,” is likely to irritate or depress the recipient because no one enjoys being told what to do. When two autonomous individuals work together as a team, this is the pattern.
Depression is caused by a sense that you don’t have enough power. When someone tells you what to do, it implies that they are the boss and you are the servant. It is preferable to inquire. Answers to requests are limited to yes or no.
#5. Your companion is invariably right
It’s fine for your loved one to be correct if he or she doesn’t need to be correct all of the time.
It’s an issue if your partner’s insistence on being correct implies he or she is incapable of admitting mistakes. And keep an eye out if your partner’s right means you’re always wrong.
#6. It’s my way or the highway’ with your relationship.
In a good relationship, listening is loving since both your thoughts and worries are important. That is true whether you are picking where to reside or what to eat for dinner.
You run the risk of feeling powerless and unhappy if your voice is ignored.
#7. Your significant other is irritable
Low-intensity anger is referred to as irritability. Anger is a toxic, negative energy that spreads quickly. The recipient of rage may become depressed as a result of this toxicity.
My face was infected with shingles, which resulted in severe depression.
Even onlookers find anger uncomfortable and unpleasant to behold. The toxicity of rage is considerably worse for those who are directly affected by it.
#8. Your significant other is depressed
Depression spreads like a virus. It’s not contagious in the same sense that the virus is, but one study found that it’s a social contagion theory, which explains how humans instinctively mimic the behavior of others around them.
When someone is depressed, he or she tends to perceive the world through dark glasses, which includes you. If you embrace your partner’s point of view, you’ll suffer emotionally as well.
Encourage your spouse to go to therapy sessions or perhaps go for a walk outside. Small tasks like that can provide them with a sense of purpose and help them get out of their heads for a while. A therapist, on the other hand, would be the best option.
#9. Your partner is controlling
As previously said, abuse can manifest itself emotionally in the form of a partner’s critical and controlling attitude, verbally in the form of name-calling, or physically in the form of pushing, throwing things, or hitting. These types of maltreatment are all incompatible with a loving relationship.
This is the point at which you should leave your marriage.
The desire to harm someone is diametrically opposed to the desire to love, nurture, and be intimate. Putting yourself down in any way can lead to sadness. Appreciation in every form enhances positive emotions. It’s quite straightforward.
#10. Your partner is not doing his or her fair share
It’s a pleasure to work with a spouse who participates actively in the project of living and loving together. Helping is loving, whether he scrambles eggs for the two of you in the morning or rushes around with a quick clean-up before people arrive.
A partner who does not do his part, on the other hand, is passively provocative. You’ll feel irritated or angry in response, which means you’re not getting a fully mature mate.
If you’re sad in your relationship, you need to figure out why and come up with a remedy. To work through your feelings, talk to your partner or a marriage counselor.
My Marriage is Making Me Depressed: Effects on Mental Health
Toxic relationships make you feel stressed, and stress shortens your life. Relationships like this might make you feel uneasy or low in self-esteem, which can lead to harmful thoughts entering your mind. They make you feel powerless, afraid, worried, and sometimes paranoid. All of these are signs of depression.
The Good News
Depressive feelings fade away when couples learn to participate in productive collaborative problem-solving rather than tiffs when they encounter disagreements.
Depression isn’t Merely a Feeling of Sadness from Time to Time
Irritability, weariness, problems concentrating, changes in eating or sleeping patterns, feelings of worthlessness or powerlessness, a loss of enthusiasm in your typical activities, and suicidal thoughts are only a few of the symptoms.
You may have clinical depression, also known as serious depression, if you have had five or more symptoms for at least two weeks. It’s a dangerous issue that should be evaluated by a doctor or mental health professional as soon as possible, both for your own sake and for the sake of your relationship.
We’ve highlighted basic depression indicators that destroy a relationship to help you restore the romance. In addition, we asked therapists for their best tips on how you and your partner might cope with depression together.
My Marriage is Making Me Depressed: What You Can Do
Don’t wait until one of you is thinking about divorcing. Seek out an expert if you see that your disagreement is increasing or your typical communication is altering.
There’s still hope if you’re both prepared to put in the effort. To find a therapist, you might find it useful to use our search tools.
But you need to first recognize that If you’re suffering from clinical, situational, or other forms of depression, help and support are always available.
To get to the source of your problems and understand your relationship dynamic, you may both find it beneficial to seek the advice of a couples therapist.
The experts suggest the following books to aid you along the way:
- Robinson’s pick for learning what love is and isn’t: “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz
- Robinson’s pick for learning your attachment styles: “Attached” by Amir Levine
- Weaver-Breitenbecher’s pick for unlearning codependcy: “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie
My Marriage is Making Depressed FAQs
Can your marriage make you depressed?
Problems in a married couple’s relationship might play a key influence in the development of depression. So, yes, your marriage can be making you depressed.
Basically, husbands and/or wives in high-tension, high-conflict, or high-argument relationships are 10 to 25 times more likely to be depressed than those who are single or in collaborative partnerships.
Is it normal to be unhappy in marriage?
It’s natural to be unhappy in a marriage. There are ups and downs in any relationship, good seasons and difficult seasons, agreements and conflicts. Most people find marriage to be more difficult than they anticipated, but that doesn’t imply it isn’t worthwhile.
When should you walk away from your marriage?
There are times when you must leave— especially if you are being abused or are in fear of physical injury, you should only think about staying safe. Addiction, dishonesty, emotional badgering, and serious financial abuse must all be dealt with with considerable caution.