Rejection hurts no matter how you slice it. Maybe you’ve been rejected by a new crush, rejected by a friend group, or didn’t get the dream job you applied for — no matter what form of rejection it is, being told “no” after putting it all out there can be heartbreaking. It’s enough to make you want to stop putting yourself out there in the first place. We’ll be talking about dealing with rejection in this blog post, so come along.
However, allowing one rejection to diminish your self-worth and prevent you from living your life can have far-reaching consequences, no matter how minor in reality. Dealing with rejection in unhealthy ways can harm your relationships and, in some cases, lead to depression and anxiety.
Dealing with Rejection in Dating
Here are eight quick strategies for dealing with rejection in dating.
#1. Understand why rejection hurts so much.
There’s a reason why every rejection hurts so much—and it’s not because you’re weak or overly sensitive. There is an evolutionary reason why we need other people to accept us. Our desire to connect dates back to ancient times, when humans relied on being in groups to survive.
#2. Use romantic rejection as an opportunity to avoid heartbreak in the future.
Rejection by a crush or romantic partner can be the most painful of all types of rejection because it involves aspects of yourself that are beyond your control (like your physicality). According to Lisa Bahar, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist, romantic relationships have an intimacy component that leads individuals to feel more vulnerable — and thus can cause individuals to feel more hurt when they face rejection in this way.
Related Article: HOW TO DEAL WITH JEALOUSY In Relationships & Friendships (Detailed)
#3. Practice self-care and surround yourself with positive, nurturing people.
“We’re not really in that space to think about it in the immediate aftermath of a rejection because we’re in so much pain,” Gottlieb explains. Anger and hurt are likely to be your first reactions to rejection, but contrary to popular belief, releasing your anger (for example, by screaming or hitting a punching bag) does not help to reduce the negative emotion it may increase it.
#4. Avoid dating for vengeance.
Looking for another potential partner to retaliate against your ex? Wanis and Hafeez both agree that it is not a wise strategy. “If you aren’t relationship-ready, don’t go out and date—you might end up hurting other people.” “You’ll just be causing yourself more trouble,” Wanis says.
Take some time to recover from the pain of rejection, learn from any mistakes you’ve made, perhaps pamper yourself, and then begin dating again.
#5. Give yourself some time to process your emotions.
After you’ve taken some time to relax and re-center yourself, it’s critical to pay attention to how you’re feeling — and a great way to do so is to keep a journal. According to Becker-Phelps, one exercise you can do is to literally list all of your emotions — and then pair them with the thoughts that go with those emotions. “Just doing that gives you some distance, and then you can start dealing with rejection in a better way because you’re not tangled up in it,” she says.
#6. Avoid rumination and instead affirm your self-worth
After a rejection, we tend to berate ourselves for the reasons we were rejected — and we may even end up dwelling on these negative emotions, a process is known as rumination. This habit, on the other hand, inevitably makes us feel worse. When people are rejected, the first thing they do is be unkind to themselves, and they start making up stories about what’s wrong with them.
#7. Rejection should not deter you from trying again.
If there is one important lesson to be learned from rejection, it is to never let it deter you from your future endeavors — after all, rejection is an unavoidable part of life, and every successful person has faced it at some point.
#8. Seek out professional help, if needed
According to Hafeez, “so much of the way to dealing with rejection is related to emotions and circumstances that have nothing to do with dating at all.”
“How people handle dating rejection is heavily influenced by how they feel about themselves before going on a date.” People with higher self-esteem will fare better than those whose self-esteem is more fragile and susceptible to the approval or disapproval of others, particularly potential romantic interests.
Dealing with Rejection in Dating Rules
So there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with rejection, and we’re here to tell you all the dos and don’ts of dealing with rejection.
#1. Don’t insult them.
It’s probably obvious, right? Not. We understand that not everyone does it, but there is a small group of people who, sadly, will resort to petty name-calling after not receiving the desired response. You can’t be complimenting someone you like one minute and then change your mind because of the words “no thanks.” All they’ve said is no; this doesn’t mean it’s personal, nor does it mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes it’s something you have no control over.
#2. Accept your rejection.
Acceptance is the only way to deal with or overcome rejection. When you hear the news, it may hurt or irritate you, and all of these emotions are acceptable. Take a few seconds if necessary, but make sure your response is mature and calm. They’ve probably been nervous about telling you, so try to reassure them. Be honest with them about how much you enjoy spending time with them, which leads nicely to our next point.
#3. Be truthful.
Simply be honest with yourself about your feelings. Recognize your emotions and make sure you handle them correctly. Don’t let them become enraged over something so insignificant. If you must express your feelings to them, do so honestly and calmly. Nobody wants their texts to be deleted by Bye. We understand that it can be upsetting at times, but remember that it is not their fault, and you should not take it out on them.
#4. Don’t try to persuade them otherwise.
Unfortunately, a well-thought-out and intense message asking them to reconsider will not help your cause. We’ve all had that thought “This text to the ex is a great idea,” but we all know better. Although they may be the only person you want to be with right now, you’ll realize that no one deserves to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them in the long run. You, too, are entitled to better.
#5. Don’t dismiss the possibility of friendship.
There’s no reason to believe that if you get on before you ask the question, you won’t get on afterward. This person can still be in your life if they want to be, as long as you don’t make a big deal out of it and deal with rejection maturely. It can sometimes be the start of a perfect friend, so don’t cut any ties just because it didn’t work out romantically.
#6. Keep in mind that they owe you nothing.
If you want to know why you were rejected, there is a correct way to go about doing so. Accept the ‘no,’ phrase the question maturely and calmly, and if they don’t want to give you that answer, don’t force it – they don’t have to tell you.
#7. Don’t overthink things.
Rejection is a completely natural occurrence, and it happens to everyone. Almost everyone. It can feel like a big deal at times. Remember that there could be a million different reasons why they don’t want to go out again. It could be due to personal insecurities, family issues, career concerns, or simply not wanting to jeopardize the friendship.
Related Article: How to Deal with Trust Issues and Insecurities in any Relationship
#8. Understand that it was not meant to be.
If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t; focus on the other things you’re working on in your life and allow yourself to get excited about them. If it was truly meant to happen, it would have happened. Something will happen that is meant to happen, and just because it isn’t what you want right now doesn’t mean it won’t be right for you when it does.
#9. Recognize that rejection is normal.
We’re sure you don’t need us to tell you this, but rejection is natural. It is completely normal and occurs to everyone. That was the final time we promised. So long as you promise to keep that in mind.
#10. Keep in mind that not all rejection is romantic.
Rejection is an inevitable part of life; it’s difficult to accept that not everyone will like you. We all get rejected by partners, rejected for jobs, and even rejected from trials for sports teams or musicals. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but one that we must all swallow in life. Remember that the more you concentrate on getting it right, the better you’ll get at it. If you can handle rejection from a partner, it will be much easier to handle rejection from a job.
Dealing with Rejection in Dating Strategies
Here are strategies for dealing with rejection in dating:
#1. Accept the pain and mourn the loss
Rejection means losing something or someone that you had or hoped to have. When we are rejected, we often feel ashamed or embarrassed and want to put it behind us. To cope, we may suppress our feelings, deny that we are in pain, or engage in behaviors such as excessive drinking or eating.
#2. Don’t hold it against yourself.
It’s natural to be curious about why you were rejected. In my experience, however, there aren’t always obvious reasons for rejection. And when we don’t have answers, we usually blame ourselves; we assume we screwed up, we weren’t enough, we’re unlovable, difficult, stupid, and so on.
#3. Increase your resiliency
Your ability to recover or bounce back from a setback is referred to as resiliency. And psychologists believe it is a skill that can be learned. Having an open mind, avoiding all-or-nothing thinking, focusing on solutions and what you can learn from the experience, seeking support, keeping a sense of humor, remembering your strengths, viewing mistakes as necessary steps on the road to success, and practicing self-care all contribute to resiliency.
#4. Continue to put yourself out there.
Writers and artists are notorious for persevering in the face of rejection. Part of their ability to do so stems from their mindset: they accept that rejection is a necessary part of the process of getting published or starting a successful career. They don’t take it personally because they see it as normal and necessary. Acceptance like this, as well as repeatedly “putting yourself out there,” can help make rejection less painful.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 5 stages of rejection?
Why is dealing with rejection so hard?
Rejections also harm our mood and self-esteem, elicit rage and aggression, and destabilize our need to “belong.” Unfortunately, the majority of the harm caused by rejection is self-inflicted.
What causes life rejection?
Anxiety and stress: Rejection can exacerbate or precipitate pre-existing conditions such as stress and anxiety. Similarly, these and other mental health problems can amplify feelings of rejection.
How do you explain rejection?
Feeling rejected is opposed to feeling accepted. However, being rejected (which we all experience from time to time) does not imply that someone is not liked, valued, or important. It simply means that things did not work out one time, in one situation, with one person. Rejection is painful.