There are many signs when affairs turn to love. If you start to feel about the other person how you felt about your partner at the start, you know you’re already in big trouble. It’s time to come clean, seriously. You may don’t want to end up with this person, sometimes having an affair, we’re not the ones to judge. but there are signs when Affairs Turn to love. And what you should do about it.
When Affairs Turn to love
1. When Affairs turn to love Sex and emotions thrive
All have a habit of kick-starting the “L” word process whether you want it to happen or not. You simply have no control over it. Of course, you have control over your actions, but rejecting your feelings is not something anyone finds easy.
2. When Affairs turn to love they are on your mind all the time
When you start to fall for someone, no matter what the possibilities, you can’t get them off your mind. You feel butterflies when you think about them. In this situation, the butterflies are likely to be followed by a sense of guilt. That’s one of the obvious signs an affair is turning into love.
3. You compare your partner and the other person
If you compare the two people in your life, you’re already in trouble. If love is blooming, you’ll start to find faults with your partner. This will push you closer to the other person because you’re idealizing them in your head.
4. You look to spend more time with them When Affairs turn to love
At first you probably only saw the other person now and then, but if you’re actively trying to spend more time with them, you should question why. Is it because you’re starting to develop feelings? Wanting to be around the other person more, perhaps more than your partner, is one of the big signs an affair is turning into love. [Read: What to do when you’re in a relationship but like someone else]
5. When Affairs turn to love You start to make a real effort in how you look
You likely did this to a certain extent before, but if you find yourself trying to look your very best before seeing the other person, it’s probably because you’re keen to impress them. This could be a sign of impending love on the horizon.
6. You’re not as close to your partner anymore
If you don’t talk to your partner as much, you aren’t as physically intimate anymore, and there seems to be a sizable gap opening up between you, it could be because you’re starting to develop feelings for the other person. In this case, stop and take a hard look at what is going on and whether it’s time to put the brakes on things. [Read: What it means when you think of someone other than your partner]
7. You start talking about your partner with the other person
Presuming the other person knows about your partner, you might start talking about them in not so flattering terms. For instance, you share details about an argument you had or talk about their perceived shortcomings that you notice more and more. This is neither respectful nor fair to your spouse. You talking about that person is when Affairs turn to love
8. You feel like they really “get” you
Be extremely wary of this, and this is by far one of the biggest signs your affair is turning into love. You probably turned to the other person because you felt you had things in common. If you feel like they really “get” you, perhaps more than your partner, then the affair has crossed over from physical. It is firmly on the emotional side of the camp.
9. You contact them more and more
You probably had certain times when you spoke at the start of the affair. Now you notice that texts and emails ping back and forth at different times. Probably because the person is on your mind far more than before. You can’t help but want to talk to them. This is a huge development because it means emotions are becoming very attached. That is when Affairs turn to love.
10. When Affairs turn to love You find it hard to focus
Remember the feeling when you first started to fall in love with your partner? You lost your appetite, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t stop thinking about them, nor concentrate on anything other than the next time you could see them. If you notice that once more, it’s one of the huge signs of when affairs turn to love.
11. You start to think about the future
Uh-oh! Trouble is on the horizon here. An affair isn’t meant to be long-term or have a future. If you start to picture a future with this person, then your current relationship is almost dead in the water. This means that you’re seriously becoming attached to the other person. You’re on the brink of falling in love. [Read: Affair fog – Are you lost under the spell of another lover?]
12. You begin to argue more with your partner
You notice that you’re starting to argue more with your partner because you’re thinking about the other person. This also links back to the point of the comparison we made earlier. You might start resenting your partner for keeping you away from the other person and that’s sure to start upsetting arguments.
13. You start to worry about what you’re doing
Now, again, we’ve already said that having an affair in the first place isn’t the best thing, but you’re already there. However, if your guilt starts to take over, that’s one of the clear signs that your affair might be turning into something even more serious. Listen to your gut. If you’re worried already, that’s something to pay attention to. [Read: Should you confess to cheating on your partner?]
14. You start to share personal stories with them that’s when Affairs turn to love
You have probably already talked about things like this, but if you find yourself sharing very personal and touching stories from the past with them, that’s probably because it’s turning into love. We don’t share our darkest secrets and memories with people we aren’t extremely close to.
15. You are just happier when you’re around them
When you’re with that person, you come alive. You feel different and more upbeat and positive. That’s one of the worrying signs an affair is turning into love. You might feel guilty sporadically, but the happy feeling replaces it more and more.
How to end an affair and get over it
- There are many signs an affair is turning into love. If you start to feel about the other person how you felt about your partner at the start, you know you’re already in big trouble. It’s time to come clean, seriously!
- Affairs can be undoubtedly devastating, but are all affairs created equally? What are the key differences between an impulsive one-night stand and romantic affairs that last more than a year and how do affairs that last more than a year usually end?
- Cheating is considered wrong, but can people fall in love when having an emotional affair? Moreover, can the betrayed spouse find forgiveness and reconciliation? Will a marriage survive such instances of infidelity? Let’s get into everything you need to know.
Love vs. lust
In a nutshell, lust is physical, whereas love is more than that. Psychiatrist Judith Orloff outlines how to identify if you’re falling in love rather than just lusting after someone in a blog post for Psychology Today.
They want to spend quality time together other than sex, listen to each other’s sentiments, meet their friends and family, and become “lost in chats and forgetting about the hours passing.”
“Pure lust is based exclusively on physical attraction and fantasy,” Orloff wrote, “and it frequently evaporates as the’real person’ surfaces.” “It’s when he or she is wearing rose-colored glasses and thinks they can’t do anything wrong.”
She went on to say that while love does not contain lust, lust can lead to love. “However, true love, not idealized or projected love, necessitates time to come to know one other.”
It all boils down to your motivations for cheating on your relationship. Some experts suggest that outsourcing is beneficial if you think your relationship will benefit in the long run and your spouse doesn’t need to know.
If you’re wandering because you’re not emotionally content in your relationship, it’s an indication it’s not worth fighting for. In that scenario, it might be easier to call a halt to the affair and have an open conversation with your partner about parting ways.
Why are affairs so hard to end?
First, affairs are often a replication waiting to happen. And second, affairs are often forged with the same magnetic power that marriage is, often rendering the affair as hard to break like a marriage. Thus, ending an affair, especially if it is long-term, may resemble a divorce.
Can affairs be healthy?
Here an affair can be a healthy act. It may reflect an unconscious or semi-conscious awareness of a desire to become more alive, to grow. That is, an affair can provide feelings of affirmation and restore vitality and can activate courage to leave a marriage when doing so is the healthiest path.
How affairs affect the family?
The turmoil, fear, uncertainty, anger, tears, withdrawal, accusations, distraction, the fighting affects everyone in the family, and in particular children who by nature are very sensitive and dependent upon their parents for emotional and physical stability and safety.