Humans are basically looking for what will fill that void in them, so we’re all searchers even if we don’t often say it. So then there’s love, not everyone is looking for erotic or casual flings. But something more lasting and permanent. But now what is love? How do we find love? A lot of people have different meanings of love. Although, it’s a general perspective that love is all about huge butterflies and heartaches, the good kind. However, this is not the case all the time. It’s way deeper and more complex. So what is love and even if finding love is hard, how do I find love? Let’s find out!
WHAT IS LOVE?
We have all experienced that feeling of love, for our family, our friends, or even a romantic partner. So, what is love? Can you explain how it makes you feel? People believe love is an emotion, a feeling quite intense. But I don’t totally agree with that. Love is not just a feeling or what we do because of how we feel. But, love is what we do regardless of how we feel. Ok, a classic example, in romantic relationships, you can easily call a quit when your partner is too much to handle. But you can’t do the same with family. Not to sound like Vin Diesel but it is what it is. It’s deeper than we can ever imagine.
9 FUNDAMENTAL RULES TO FINDING LOVE
1. Go where people like the same things you like:
Although, you can choose to skip singles events if it’s really not your scene. However, truth be told, you have to go where you can meet people especially people who think like you do. You can as well try to join social groups or meet-ups, basically what you believe in. Because I have this theory, “You only attract your kind”, so if you don’t like partying, there’s no need to go find love in a club. Basically, this is a ruling cause of “misfits” and issues in relationships. Because the person you might probably get is not you, then there’s a breakup.
2. Look up from your phone:
Good men and good women are everywhere especially when you’re searching. Basically, the universe just brings you together. A lot of us are guilty of this, we go out then we keep our heads down the entire time, staring at our phones. Trust me, if he was in the phone, you would have found him by now.
3. Don’t seek romance but seek partnership:
Generally, the “romance” thing is for dates, and it’s fun to have on occasions. But it’s a partnership, that will definitely get you through the hard times. Don’t look for someone who sweeps you off your feet, trust me, you won’t as easily recover. But instead look for someone who likes give-and-take, who seeks your opinion and considers it, trust me, that’s how to find love.
4. Happy people attract people:
When trying to find love, your biggest mistake would probably be your aura, you don’t think you’re deserving or even feel good. You have to learn to love yourself, love your life, and everything about you in general. You have to be the person that you’d want to meet basically.
5. Instant sexual attraction/ intimacy quickly fades:
Generally, love is at its best when it’s slow served. That is, it develops over time, it’s slow and steady. Basically, you don’t have to feel it right away. Because that instant spark is more about lust and less about the stuff of real relationships.
6. Become a ‘psychotic optimist’:
Generally, a lot of us live with the notion that if we don’t find love, it’s okay. But a psychotic optimist basically believes that he or she must find love at all cost. Love is meant for you, you’d deserving so don’t give up on it. Trust me, it gets better.
7. Understand your own needs:
Do you need a lot of space? Fine, relationships work better when there’s understanding. Whatever it is your style is, it’s ok, but you need to know it and definitely be able to communicate it to your future spouse. You can train each other when you both feel the need it.
8. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship in general:
Basically, a lot of people just want regular flings, good sex. But before you bring someone into your life, or share money or living space, remember they’re bringing baggage. But that doesn’t matter, right? Basically, you should be able to tell what you want and prepare for it. Don’t go expecting love for a casual relationship or a Friends-With-Benefit relationship, basically, just know what you want.
9. Stop pining after someone especially when they are unavailable:
Basically, this is something you need to bring yourself to understand. Not everyone you’re interested in would be interested just the same but you’d need to move on. You need to know when you need to back down, don’t get sucked into that black hole of loneliness, it doesn’t end well.
FIVE TIPS TO FINDING LOVE FOR A LASTING RELATIONSHIP
1. Try Online Dating:
Whether you want to believe it or not, you can definitely find love online. We’ll be the first to admit that those first couple of dates with the right match might be awkward as you learn to translate online chemistry offline, but with the right person, it is definitely possible. Generally, one of the amazing things about finding love through an online dating site is that most single people are on one. So basically, you will find people who might be shyer or more introverted than you are.
2. Zodiac Compatibility Based on Science:
Although, a lot of people don’t really believe in zodiac signs and its compatibility. However, it is as real piping hot “garlic bread”. Generally, a lot of people have done research to support this. Some of the zodiac compatibility are;
A. Capricorn men and Capricorn women
B. Aries men and Aries women
C. Taurus men and Libra women
D. Gemini men and Gemini women
E. Leo men and Aries women
F. Virgo men and Virgo women
G. Libra men and Libra women
H. Scorpio men and Pisces women
I. Sagittarius men and Sagittarius women
J. Sagittarius men and Aries women
K. Aquarius men and Aquarius women
L. Pisces men and Scorpio women
3. Be With Someone You Can Basically Envision Spending A Whole Day With:
Generally, one of the most important aspects of how to find love is finding someone you want to spend your day with. Absolutely anyone can find someone to spend a night with but does the person want to hang out with you during the day? Because that is what really counts. Can you picture yourself hanging out at a park or going for a long walk after lunch but still you don’t feel exhausted? Although, sex is important. However, it’s not the main part of any relationship so that should not be the only criteria.
4. Opposites Attract, Similarities Last:
Although, opposites attract. However, it is only similarities that last. Basically, a lot of people tend to be most compatible with people who are similar to us. Rather than being with someone with polar opposite values or traits, however, don’t stay too long in that friend zone though. Additionally, if there are more differences than similarities, you might end up in a relationship with more conflict than you’d like. Basically, just know what you want and stick with it. Finding love can be tricky sometimes though.
5. Put Yourself Out There:
You’ll never find love with the right person when the right person can never find you. Basically, this means, you’re going to have to crawl out of your shell to be found. Although, hiding behind online profiles for a while seems to work. But eventually, you need to take that step and go on a first date.
DOES EVERYBODY EVENTUALLY FIND LOVE?
When you want to find love, obviously you will find love. However, that doesn’t mean that any person you choose will love you back. But with time, experience, and a strong understanding of what you’re looking for in a long-term relationship or marriage, and more importantly, understanding you will find love. Although, it doesn’t always work like that all the time. But don’t just appear too desperate.
Although, finding love with the right person is never easy. However, being in the right place at right time can be a step up. Although, online dating can help put you out there. Although it’s like a little bit of science, you can easily find people you’re compatible with. But you have to trust yourself. Basically, as long as you put yourself out there, you’d be able to find lasting love. Additionally, you need to remember something, you can never get too old for love. Basically, you can find love at any age. It will always come to you so don’t get up, it will come.
FINDING LOVE FAQ’S
Is it possible to find love after 30,40, 50, or 60?
Age doesn’t matter in love. You can find love at any age as long as you put yourself out there and get to know single people. Some say that finding love in later life can be a wonderful experience since you’ve grown so much over the years.
Can You Find Love After Divorce?
Of course, you can find love after divorce. Sometimes, relationships end so that new, better relationships can take place.
What is love?
Love is an immersive feeling. It’s what we do regardless of whatever comes with it.
How do I know I'm in love?
Basically, it’s all about studying. You have to know the difference between love, sexual attractions, and infatuation but however, love differs from these.
How do I find love?
Everyone has what works for them but trust me you would definitely not find it in your comfort zone.