You cheated on your partner, but your relationship does not have to end because of it. Even though admitting infidelity to your partner will cause a lot of heartbreak and anger, your relationship can still survive if you both want it to. However, repairing a relationship after cheating is possible only if you truly regret your decision to cheat. If you choose to confess to your partner, make sure you do so for the right reasons, not just to relieve your own guilt.
How to Fix Relationship After Cheating
It is possible to heal from an affair if both you and your partner are willing to take the necessary steps, but it will be a long road. Here are a few important steps you can take together to help repair your relationship.
#1. Keep Your Words
If you say you’re going somewhere, show up. If you say you’re going to do something, follow through. Be dependable and keep your promises. It will be more difficult to rebuild trust in your relationship if you are not dependable.
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#2. Be open-minded and patient.
Allow your partner to know where you are, who you are with, and so on. Try not to keep anything from them any longer. It is natural for your partner to feel betrayed and suspicious. Recognize their feelings and work to restore the trust that you have betrayed. Don’t expect your partner to regain trust in you right away. However, with time, you may be able to regain their trust.
According to research, one of the most commonly cited reasons for marriage failure is the inability to communicate with one another. Be ready to listen and converse with your partner.
#4. Give Your Partner Some Space
If emotions are running high or one of you is emotionally triggered, it is acceptable to take a “time out.” Sometimes things need to calm down before you can be around each other again or discuss sensitive topics.
#5. Spend Quality Time With Your Partner
You need to spend time together as well as give your partner some alone time. Plan date nights and, when your partner is ready, think about going on a romantic getaway together.
#6. Seek Professional Assistance
To move past the cheating, you and your partner must be willing to discuss and identify issues and problems in your personal lives as well as in your relationship. You might consider seeing a relationship or marriage counselor assist you with this process.
#7. Be Ready to Forgive
You must forgive yourself in addition to being forgiven by your partner. You should accept responsibility for your actions, but you shouldn’t be burdened with guilt for the rest of your life.
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Successful Relationship After Cheating
Rebuilding trust is essential for a successful relationship after cheating. Infidelity shatters a couple’s commitment to each other, especially for married couples who made vows in front of their friends and family to remain faithful to each other until death.
It would be a stressful and suffocating relationship if there was no trust. It’s a house of cards that will crumble in the face of a gentle breeze. All long-term relationships have solid foundations and a pleasant environment. Infidelity shatters those foundations and alters the living situation.
If the couple wants to stay together and have a successful relationship after cheating, they must rebuild their relationship from the ground up.
There is still love there if the couple decides to stick with it. It’s enough to avert an outright divorce, but it’s not nearly enough in the long run.
The first step is to rebuild trust. Transparency is essential. It may appear to be intrusive, but that is the cost of having an affair. Put yourself on a short leash voluntarily. Do it for as long as it takes to re-establish lost trust.
Remove all privacy settings from your computer and phone. Give away all of your passwords, including those for your bank accounts. Check-in via video calls on a regular basis, especially if you need to stay late at work. It may sound suffocating, but if you want to have a successful relationship after cheating, you’ll have to work on it. It will become second nature in a few weeks and will no longer be so difficult.
Express your emotions.
Set aside a few minutes to an hour each day to talk with each other. Because you’re a couple, it shouldn’t be difficult to find topics to talk about that aren’t about how your day went. Be specific and include your feelings and thoughts.
Speak with a marriage counselor.
A counselor can help guide the way if the communication barrier is difficult to break but both partners are still willing to move forward with their relationship. Don’t be embarrassed to admit that you’re at a loss for words.
How to Fix a Relationship After Cheating and Lying
The work required to mend a relationship after cheating is long, delicate, and difficult, and will require a great deal of patience on the part of the couple. If you’re wondering, “How do I fix it if I cheated on my boyfriend?”
Recognize from the start that the path back to trust and deep love is not simple or easy, but it is worthwhile.
#1. Ask yourself if you have any regrets about what you did.
“I’d like to learn how to mend a relationship after I’ve cheated,” Mark says. “I deeply regret what I did.” Mark is open to rebuilding the relationship after cheating because he feels this genuine level of regret.
#2. Be responsible
Accept responsibility for your betrayal. Accept responsibility for this act and the trauma it has caused your couple. “Well, we hadn’t had sex in months!” don’t say to your partner. “What exactly did you expect me to do?”
#3. Cut all ties with the person with whom you cheated right away.
No ifs, ands, or buts. Cheating must be stopped. Cutting off all communication channels with the “cheatee” is a critical step in repairing your relationship after you have cheated. Block them on all social media platforms.
#4. Restore trust
It is critical to rebuild trust in order to repair a broken relationship after cheating. Couples therapists recommend complete transparency as part of the rebuilding process.
#5. Address the issues that led to this situation.
There is no excuse for cheating, but discussing the underlying issues that led to the infidelity will be beneficial. Drill down to what caused marital dissatisfaction to make a relationship work after cheating. Working on those areas will be necessary to repair your relationship after cheating.
#6. Be ready to revisit the subject.
The cheated-on partner may wish to discuss and re-discuss what occurred. You must remain receptive to their desire to do so.
How to Rebuild a Relationship After Cheating
If both you and your partner are willing to work on it, there are steps you can take to rebuild your relationship.
#1. Consider How You’re Feeling
You should spend some time alone with yourself to process your emotions. Consider whether you have any regrets about cheating on your partner. Do you believe you are prepared to be held accountable for your actions? Are you willing to put in the effort to repair your relationship?
#2. Quit Cheating
It is critical that you do not continue to cheat if you are recommitting to your relationship. In cases where the infidelity was brief, it may be easier to call it quits and cut ties. Ending an emotional affair, on the other hand, maybe a more difficult process.
#3. Be truthful.
If you want to move forward, you must be honest with yourself and with your partner. To keep your cheating a secret, you most likely had to lie to your partner. Now is the time for openness.
#4. Accept Personal Responsibility
You must accept responsibility for your actions and rebuild trust, regardless of your “reasons” for cheating. Avoid blaming your partner or your relationship’s problems. Please apologize to your partner.
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#5. Make a Decision
Do you and your partner both want to stay in the relationship? You have a common goal if you both want to stay together. Make a decision knowing that you and your partner will both have to work hard to rebuild trust and communication.
How to Move Forward in a Relationship After Cheating
This, however, is a method of turning the situation into a learning experience. Having a positive attitude, as well as several of the tips listed below, can help you move on. Experts say that if you follow them, you may be able to move forward as a couple and move past cheating.
#1. Tell the Truth
To move forward in your relationship, the person who cheated (whether you or your partner) must come clean and be honest about what happened, without attempting to minimize the situation. “Rebuilding trust is critical to moving forward,” says Dubron, “and that cannot happen if there is any more deception.”
#2. Determine Whether You Are Able to Proceed
When you know what happened, you can decide whether to stay in the relationship and work on moving forward or to leave. Remember that in order for it to work, you and your partner must both agree on the decision.
#3. Mourn the End of an Old Relationship
“It is critical that both parties mourn the loss of whatever their relationship once was in order to move forward into the next phase of their lives together,” Gudelsky says.
#4. Assist Each Other in Understanding
“Understanding why the betrayal occurred is important,” relationship and sex therapist Margo Regan tells Bustle. That includes talking about how you’re feeling and trying to figure out why it all happened in the first place.
#5. Attend Therapy
“Seeking therapy is beneficial for couples in general,” says Dr. Saniyyah Mayo, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “However, when infidelity occurs, it is preferable to have someone present to guide the discussions for understanding and healing.”
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You might have been dissatisfied with your relationship for a long time. Even if it felt good at the time, cheating usually complicates relationships. Being honest with yourself and your partner takes bravery. You can recommit to your partner, or you and your partner may decide to move on and end the relationship. Accepting responsibility will help you progress in either case.
Frequently Asked Questions
How successful are relationships after cheating?
It is even more surprising that many couples remain together after the affair is revealed. They go through a difficult time together and come out stronger. According to Selfgrowth.com, the percentage of relationships that survive cheating is as high as 78%.
Can someone change after cheating?
It all depends on whether or not they are relationally self-aware. According to statistics, approximately one in every five people has cheated on a partner, and this number appears to be increasing in older generations. (Some research suggests that this is due in part to a person’s genetics.)
Can cheating make a relationship stronger?
When someone cheats, the reasons are almost always negative. However, according to a relationship expert, the act itself can sometimes result in something positive — a stronger partnership. However, she added, cheating does not always mean the end of a relationship. In fact, Mann believes it can even strengthen a couple’s bond.
Do cheaters feel guilty?
After having an affair, 68 percent of men feel guilty. Even if they haven’t admitted to the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt through their actions. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that lead you to suspect that your spouse is suffering from cheating husband guilt.