Take a survey on the major causes of breakage in marriages and you would find out that cheating is on the top list. Cheating is simply sharing the emotional and sexual intimacy reserved for your partner with someone else. As simple as the definition may look, it isn’t that simple. Cheating encompasses lying and betrayal. Breaking your promise to your partner to be faithful and breaking her trust.
Imagine being cheated on by your partner that you love so much, with whom you’ve made a promise to spend the rest of your life. It’s devastating. The feeling is heartbreaking. Like you try to recall where you’ve gone wrong, remembering the details of each hour and day that both of you have spent together, to see if you did something wrong to deserve being cheated upon, but in the end, you can’t recall anything of such.
CHEATING ON MY WIFE
Men aren’t the only ones who cheat in marriages; women do too. Although, the rate at which men cheat is more rampant. You could have ten cases of infidelity in marriages and eight of them would be done by men. Cheating in men is so common now that most women are now with this notion that ‘all men cheat’. It’s not because they’ve categorized all men by one man’s sin; it’s because they don’t usually come across men who don’t cheat.
If as a man, you are cheating on your wife, you are not alone in that, but the good news is, the fact that you are deliberate about reading this article, means you want to stop it. Cheating on your wife may be a result of a mistake, carelessness, or a habit that you enjoy. A mistake because you may have been drugged, taken advantage of by a woman, then when you woke up, she threatened to expose you, because obviously, the sex act was recorded, and then you keep up with the act to protect your name and shield your wife from pain. Nonetheless, if this is not your story, then you probably enjoy cheating.
WHY DO I KEEP CHEATING ON MY WIFE
As a man, you may have been struggling with being faithful to your wife, yet it seems not working out. You may have tried detaching yourself from the person you are cheating on your wife with, but it probably hasn’t been easy. So, your mind is plagued with these questions, hoping the answers will give you liberation. To get the answer to why you keep cheating on your wife, it could be one or more of these reasons.
1) Men cheat because they choose to
It’s as simple as that. You cheat on your wife because you choose to do so. There’s no justifiable explanation for that. Cheating is a result of some unresolved issues in the family. These are issues that are left unattended for a long time, and it creates friction in the marriage. Marriage is work and some men don’t enjoy that kind of work. So instead of sitting down with their partners to talk about what isn’t going right, how they are feeling unfulfilled and set down plans to make things better, most men prefer to choose the easy way out, and that easy way out usually gets them entangled in the arms of another woman. They could have chosen not to cheat and work on their marriage instead, but they decided otherwise.
2) Lack of sexual satisfaction and intimacy
Men cheat because they are not sexually satisfied. It’s a known fact that men have a higher sex drive than women, and in most cases, this results in big issues if it’s not balanced. Men are adventurous. They love to try new things in bed, and do wild and crazy things sometimes, which isn’t bad. However, they feel limited when their partner isn’t on the same level as them. Like a man with a high sex drive gets married to a woman who has little or no sex drive. Someone who sees sex as a burden.
Every time the man tries to have fun with his wife, her reply is, that she’s not in the mood. She’s never in the mood, but the man is always in the mood. That’s a big issue don’t you think? Probably, he may have tried talking to his wife about his feelings, but it ended in disappointment, and he becomes faced with two options; cheat on her or make do.
3) Lack of contentment
Though some men may cheat because they aren’t sexually satisfied in their marriages, the majority of them cheat because of a lack of contentment. What they have is never enough. They want that new conquest, that new feeling of excitement. That’s the reason you can see a man married to a beautiful wife, who cooks great meals, dresses to kill, knows the art of seduction, takes care of the home, and matches up to his tenacity in bed, yet, he still cheats on her. He’s standing beside his beautiful wife, but the moment another woman passes by, his attention is swayed. He starts imagining what holding her would feel like. He’s just never satisfied!
WHY CAN’T I STOP CHEATING ON MY WIFE
The reasons you can’t stop cheating are usually intertwined with the reasons why you started in the first place.
1) You don’t want to
Yes, that’s it! Ever heard the words, “When there’s a will, there’s always a way”? It’s true. If the desire to stop cheating on your wife is strong enough, you would stop it. You would find a way to stop cheating on her. The truth is you may be consciously pushing your quitting ahead, so you can get enough time to enjoy it while it lasts. If you are someone who has been cheating on his wife due to issues of dissatisfaction in sexual intimacy, you may still be holding off since you seem to get relief through cheating.
You’ve found the freedom to express yourself in bed with the person you are cheating with, without fear of being rejected or mocked as crazy. You’ve become accustomed to the thrill of exploration, and it tastes too sweet to let go. You don’t want to stop cheating because you know it would bring you back to that place of always feeling rejected, downcast and dissatisfied.
2) You enjoy it
As an addict, you are now used to the taste and the feel. You aren’t cheating because there are some issues in your marriage that you are uncomfortable with. You are not cheating because your intimacy needs were overlooked. Cheating is just fun to you. It has become a normal thing, a normal way to relax just like having a massage, so it’s no longer a big deal to you. That’s the very reason you can’t stop it because you enjoy it.
HOW TO STOP CHEATING ON MY WIFE
1) Decide to
That’s the first step in cutting off the strings of infidelity. Reflect on your mistakes, acknowledge your faults and decide to stop. It’s not as easy as saying it, but being determined about it puts you on the right track. End whatever is going on with your cheating partner and move on.
2) Fix your marriage
Work on your marriage so it can be a haven for you. Think about the things you enjoy, the things you look for outside, and make efforts towards implementing them in yours. Communicate with your wife. Be vulnerable. The problem is, that men always want to act strong. Whoever said expressing your emotions, talking about the pains and frustrations you feel is a sign of weakness? Talk to your wife about how you feel and your needs. A good wife would give you listening ears and be ready to adjust her actions and reactions so things can work out between the both of you. Stop bottling up your emotions and settling for what’s available, even when you are not okay with it.
3) Limit your relationship with the opposite sex
No more hugging too much or giving a harmless peck on the cheek. Reduce the length at which you exchange conversations with the opposite sex, especially at night. It is said that at night, our emotions tend to be more expressive. Stop giving too many compliments that may seem like a subtle hint to further your actions. Be nice but not to the detriment of your marriage. Many people would try to take advantage of your being nice or helping them. Don’t overlook them.
When you see opposite sex trying to act all coy with you, don’t ignore it. Set your principles up straight. Let them become aware that you are not single, and aren’t looking for someone to mingle with either. Setting boundaries limit the advances of the opposite sex, and at the same time, keeps you in check to prevent you from falling into temptation.
4) Cut off people who pose as a threat to your marriage
This includes staying away from cheating friends, because you might get coerced into rejoining them, breaking off from partners you cheated with in the past, and putting restrictions on those who are hell-bent to stick to you like glue. To keep you from going back to your cheating life, you must reduce the risks involved.
Cheating is a choice. A choice that determines the peace, stability, and bliss of your marriage. Be prepared to work things out with your wife, instead of choosing the easy way out.
CHEATING ON MY WIFE FAQS
My husband cheated on me. What should I do?
The first thing you should do is confront your husband. After the confrontation, you should take a step and think about what you want to do. Is it forgiving him or leaving him?
What should I do if I cheated on my wife?
Give a sincere apology
Listen to your partner
Figure out why you cheated
Should I tell my wife I cheated?
Telling your wife, you cheated will not make her feel better, but you should be completely honest with her and let her make the decisions.
Is it ever okay to cheat?
It is not okay to cheat on your partner. Cheating is a choice.
How do I forgive myself after cheating?
Be accountable for your actions
Tell your partner
Give a sincere apology
Cut ties with the person you cheated with
Figure out if you truly value your marriage