It’s a constant losing match when you are always “people-pleasing”. Rather than building self-esteem or learning to love yourself, you’d focus on pleasing others. This is the ultimate killer of self-love, trust me. But what does it mean to love yourself? And how do you do it? Let’s find out right? Let’s take a quick tour into finding out how to make that happen…
HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF
Finding out the perfect way to love yourself is somehow tricky. Basically, how do you start to love yourself? You’d have to;
a. Sleep properly
b. Eat healthily and prioritize your health
c. Give yourself time and space to understand your spirituality
d. Exercise more
LEARNING HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF
#1: It’s Ok to Feel:
In this particular step, you’d have to learn to stay focused and avoid judging yourself for every little slip-up. Although, mistakes can look bad. But, we are all imperfect.
#2: Study your emotions:
We tend to have a lot of emotions causing us pains. However, don’t be scared to study them. Learn so you’d know how to balance it all.
#3: Understand yourself:
This step can be intense though. Because it’s full of exploration. Exploring your deepest thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself questions like “What am I thinking or doing that’s causing the painful feelings of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, jealousy, anger, loneliness, or emptiness?” Allow the answer to come from inside, from your intuition and feelings.
19+ TIPS ON HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF
How do you love yourself? There are a few handy tips that will help figure it out. They are;
#1. Know yourself:
As we previously emphasized, the first step to loving yourself, knowing yourself, understanding yourself. Generally, invest more here. At least for a start.
#2. Say “no” when you need to and “yes” when you have to:
This is all about boundaries set. If you want to learn to love yourself, this is a clear tip you can’t ignore. Knowing when to say “yes” or “no” gives people a hint of how to treat you.
#3. Don’t compare yourself to others:
This is a killer of self-love and self-confidence. Your imperfections are what make you “you”. So go easy on yourself.
#4. Know and use your strengths:
We all have tremendous gifts, but many of them go unnoticed. When you’re busy and distracted it’s hard to access these great qualities. Focusing on your strengths will increase your positive feelings for yourself.
#5. Treat yourself out:
A treat is something special that you just give yourself. Unlike a reward, it doesn’t have to be earned. Be good to yourself by giving yourself treats “just because”.
6. Learn to forgive yourself:
Self-forgiveness is a process of bit by bit believing you truly did the best you could. When it comes to loving yourself, this is very important.
#7. Be honest with yourself:
This sounds easy. However, it is one of the hard ones. Some of us are so good at self-deception that we don’t even know when we’re doing it. Honesty is key in all relationships and your relationship with yourself should be no different.
#8. Be truly present:
This is another tip in loving yourself. We often cloud ourselves with too much distraction from our lives and work. If you want to learn to love yourself, you have to “be truly present”. That is, make time for yourself.
#9. Feel your feelings:
When it comes to our emotions and feelings, it is a very important factor here. Don’t settle or shove your feelings deep down. Feel everyone. Shout if you must but don’t settle. It’s normal to feel everything you feel.
#10. Take good care of your body:
Good health is truly priceless. A lot of people undermine good health too much. Give yourself the gift of feeling physically well. Make sure you exercise regularly, eat healthily, and drink water.
#11. Write down your successes:
I love this particular self-love activity. Well, because it creates a record of your accomplishments whether it’s something big or small. It’s always something to remember whenever you’re feeling low.
#12. Accept that some people won’t like you:
Generally, this is where the “people-pleasing” comes in. You try to satisfy everyone so everyone should have something good to say about you. But here’s the truth, some people might not. So don’t please them to displease yourself.
#13. Make fun a priority:
Take some time out of your week to just have a chill hang, to take the edge off. Don’t neglect it or cancel because you have too much work. It’s just like taking an ice cream break. Although it’s a bit unnecessary. But we all need it.
#14. Be kind to yourself:
This is another tip on your self-love journey. Always talk to yourself like you’d talk to a loved one. Don’t cut yourself down, call yourself names, or criticize yourself.
#15. Surround yourself with people who respect you:
Although, self-respect is usually the first thing you need. However, we have to acknowledge that both of them are synonymous. People who feel worthy surround themselves with positive people. Learn to surround yourself with these types of people. However, loving yourself can sometimes mean you have to end relationships with abusive or unkind people.
#16. Write yourself a love letter:
It’s not the end of the world, trust me. I know this is a hard assignment, but it challenges you to identify the things you like about yourself, good traits about yourself.
#17. Help much?
Another part of taking care of yourself is recognizing when you need help. Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It is mundane. We all need help at times, right?
#18. Get a Hobby:
Generally, this is another way to love yourself. Hobbies can be really fun and relaxing. And ultimately, it makes you spend more time with yourself and it can be quite educational.
#19. Stand up for yourself:
Be more assertive, speak up and stand up for yourself. However, it might be a little hard at first. But being assertive shows everyone else that your opinions matter.
How to Love Yourself FAQ’s
Can you love someone even if you don't love yourself?
You can love someone else even if you haven’t learned to love yourself yet. It has to do with accepting love.
Why do I struggle with self-love?
Some of the various causes of poor self-esteem include Unhappy childhood in which parents (or other major figures such as teachers) were excessively critical. Inadequate academic achievement in school leads to a lack of confidence. Ongoing stressful life events, such as a relationship breakdown or financial difficulty.
Why is self-love so difficult?
True self-love necessitates confronting the aspects of yourself that you despise the most. Maybe it’s a bodily part or several body parts, or the way you treated someone or remorse or humiliation over a circumstance. The truth is until you can really put a light on your fears, you will never be completely accepting of yourself.