Do you think you’re attractive? When asked this question, most people respond with something along the lines of, “Sure, I like myself.” But, while their words may indicate that they are pleased with themselves, what do their actions reveal? Do you feel at ease in your skin? Do you like how you look or do you constantly compare yourself to others? What do you see when you look in the mirror? Are you looking for a rockstar or someone who doesn’t meet your expectations?
The way we feel about ourselves right now, at this instant, determines our self-esteem and self-confidence. So it’s fine to aim to be better versions of ourselves as long as we embrace ourselves as we are right now, imperfections and all.
How to Like Yourself Depression
Depression is a common but serious mental illness that makes it difficult to feel joyful, fulfilled, or motivated on any given day. Sadness can be caused by a variety of causes, including stress, a family history of depression, or hormonal or brain chemistry abnormalities. Having the tools and knowledge to overcome depression, on the other hand, can help you reclaim your life and sustain good overall health for years to come.
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Here are some tips on how to enjoy yourself and conquer sadness so you may feel better and return to being your best self:
Every day, go for a 15- to a 30-minute brisk walk. You can also dance, stretch, or practice yoga. People that are depressed may not want to do anything. However, force yourself to do it. If you need motivation, enlist the help of a friend. Getting started on any activity improves your mood. Continue to do so.
#2. Eat healthy foods.
Some people who are depressed find it difficult to eat. Some people tend to overeat. However, what you eat has an impact on your mood and energy levels. If you suffer from depression, you must ensure that you eat properly. For the most part, this entails eating a variety of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Simple carbs and foods with added sugar should be avoided. Don’t go too long between meals. Eat something light and healthy even if you don’t feel hungry.
#4. Don’t spend too much time thinking about your troubles.
It can be therapeutic to talk about a situation with a supportive buddy. However, depression can lead to an excessive amount of whining, blaming, and rehashing of problems. It can help you stay focused on the problem. It’s fine to share your feelings and views with others who care. But don’t talk about difficulties. Also, talk about the positive aspects of your life. This can assist you in improving your mood.
#5. Feel free to express yourself.
Your creativity and sense of fun may be stifled as a result of despair. However, doing things that stimulate your creativity can be beneficial. Doodle, paint, or draw. Sew, cook, or bake are all options. Writing, dancing, or composing music are all options. Play with a pet or talk to a buddy. Find something that makes you chuckle. Watch a comedy film. Make time for activities you enjoy, even if it’s just a little. This aids in the recovery of depression.
#6. Keep an eye out for excellent things.
Depression alters a person’s perspective on life. Things can appear bleak, bleak, and gloomy. Make it a mission to notice three good things every day to help you change your perspective. The more you appreciate what you have, the more you will appreciate it. Most importantly, if you’re depressed, treat yourself with love and kindness. It helps to know you’re not alone when you’re going through a difficult period. Allow yourself to be patient. It takes time to recover from depression.
How to Like Yourself Books
Spending time for yourself isn’t selfish, contrary to popular thought. It’s required. The following self-love books will teach you how to relax, practice self-care, and brighten your mindset if you’re continuously thinking negative thoughts or being there for everyone but yourself. These self-love books, written by life coaches, best-selling writers, and badass celebrities, will teach you how to love yourself. It’s almost as if you had your own personal Oprah on hand.
#1. You are a badass.
Jen Sincero, a world-renowned life coach, shares how to stop self-sabotage and create the life you want. You Can Be A Badass Every Day or You Can Be A Badass at Making Money if you appreciate Sincero’s style of advice.
#2. The self-love experiment
Shannon Kaiser’s 15 self-love principles will get you started down the right path if you’re new to the concept of self-love and need a road map. Kaiser is an international life coach and speaker who was chosen by Mind Body Green as one of the “top 100 women to watch in wellness.”
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#3. How to love yourself (and sometimes other people)
Our self-worth is frequently entangled in our romantic relationships; the authors, who studied Christian mysticism and Buddhism, respectively, propose a spiritual means to untangle the two in this book.
#4. I heart me
If you want facts and data, this book by David R. Hamilton, a scientist who spent four years in the pharmaceutical industry before becoming interested in the biology of self-love, is for you.
#5. Radical self-love
Gala Darling has been teaching self-love for over a decade, and she’s written a book with homework assignments to help you stay on track with your own self-love goals.
#6. Unfu*k yourself
If you like your counsel to be blunter and to the point, author Gary John Bishop does not hold back when teaching you how to get out of your way. Bishop, who grew up in Glasgow, Scotland, refers to his approach to self-help as “urban philosophy.”
#7. Beautiful you
This book provides you with one tiny task to complete each day: create a master list of pleasures! Stop putting yourself in comparison to others! Taken collectively, they form a 365-day self-love regimen. Because each exercise is brief, you can take little steps toward improving your self-esteem.
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#8. Becoming whole
Bruce Alan Kehr, M.D., an award-winning psychiatrist with over 40 years of experience, has seen it all during his career. His book focuses on overcoming previous sorrow as a means of increasing one’s self-esteem.
#9. The body is not an apology
Sonya Renee Taylor, an activist, and poet explains how to understand the origins of body shame and how to break free from it. “It’s necessary reading for those of us who desire to understand and those who are already on the path to realizing how lovely and intricate our bodies are,” model Tess Holliday said.
#10. One to watch: empowering women
This new version of the previous book by popular self-help author Louise Hay, about how self-esteem is one of the most vital skills a woman can have, will be released on April 2, 2019.
How to Like Yourself the Way You Are
Here are a few of my favorites, as well as some of the recent efforts I’ve made to improve my self-esteem. Perhaps they will elicit some pleasant feelings in you as well.
#1. Be realistic about your expectations.
When you constantly fall short of your goals, it’s tempting to loathe yourself. When I left my corporate job last summer, I believed I should be able to make at least two-thirds of my previous pay as a freelance writer specializing in mental-health articles. As a result, I signed up for an unreasonably large number of contracts, allotting myself 2.5 hours to complete each one.
#2. Take a look at your self-esteem file.
My self-esteem dossier is a manila folder filled with warm fuzzies from friends, readers, teachers, and family members on rare occasions. It was an eight-year-old assignment from my therapist. She wanted me to make a list of my most important assets. I sat down with the sheet of paper and came up with thick hair, strong fingernails, and a well-proportioned nose as the only things that sprang to mind.
#3. Interact with yourself as a friend
Now and then, I’ll catch myself criticizing myself and ask myself, “Is that what I’d say to Libby, Mike, Beatriz, or Michelle?” The friendship would have ended years ago if I talked to them the way I talk to myself. No. I warn Mike to “Take it easy on yourself.”
#4. Visualize yourself.
In one outpatient program for severe depression in which I participated, we were told to imagine ourselves better. I imagined a calm woman wearing a pink sundress and clutching a rose, which represents healing. Her eyes expressed pure contentment, as though nothing could disturb her tranquillity.
#5. Get to know yourself
The entertaining book Unworthy by Anneli Rufus details ten hidden self-esteem booby traps and how to avoid them. Non-identity is one such trap that can be overcome by determining who you are. She writes, “Your post-self-loathing you are not some total stranger.” “He or she is you, the real you, rediscovered.”
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#6. Get rid of remorse
Our self-hatred can be firmly rooted in remorse. We just can’t seem to let go of that DUMB thing we did in 2004 or just last week. Regret is one of Rufus’ ten concealed self-esteem booby traps in Unworthy. “What would it take to not look back?” she says, posing an essential question.
How to Like Yourself and Build Self-Esteem
The following are four suggestions for improving your self-esteem and liking yourself more, all of which boil down to making little daily decisions to live your own life rather than someone else’s.
#1. Follow through on your promises to yourself.
People with low self-esteem are frequently great at maintaining promises to others but very awful at keeping obligations to themselves.
They’re so preoccupied with other people’s wants and needs—their boss’s urgent request at 11:00 p.m., their kids’ need to learn a new instrument (again!), their spouse’s want to go on a weekend fishing trip with the boys—that they end up neglecting their own desires. When they make this compromise a habit, their self-esteem suffers greatly.
#2. Spend more time with people you enjoy spending time with.
This is frequently viewed in terms of success, productivity, and ambition; hanging out with sluggish, unmotivated people will negatively impact you. If you surround yourself with brilliant, curious, and passionate people, on the other hand, you’re more likely to absorb some of their energy and channel it into your life to be successful.
#3. Use compassionate language when speaking to oneself.
We all have people in our lives who are judgmental, pessimistic, and, at times, downright cruel:
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- It might be your boss, who is always criticizing your work and comparing you to your coworkers.
- It might be a spouse that is constantly caustic and judgemental about everything from your clothing choices to your parenting approach.
- Maybe it’s a parent who tries to “push” you and motivate you with harsh criticism when all it accomplishes is making you feel useless.
If you have one or two of these people in your life, you already know how exhausting and difficult it is to be in their presence. It’s as if they drain your soul’s life and energy, leaving you agitated, unhappy, and empty.
#4. Schedule time for activities that you truly enjoy.
It never fails to surprise me how many individuals sacrifice their passions to pursue the passions of others. Let’s take the situation of Jenny, a 31-year-old former client of mine. Jenny has two qualities that you should be aware of: she adores her family and she enjoys tennis. Unfortunately, her passion for tennis isn’t well-received.
Self-esteem is critical to our general well-being, but achieving it can be challenging, especially if you’ve had poor self-esteem your entire life. Working with a therapist can be beneficial when it comes to learning to accept oneself. Someone who is objective, challenging, and empowering can assist you in gaining clarity and gaining a fresh perspective on yourself and your life.
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Life is too short to spend it being uncomfortable in your own skin. If you’re battling with self-confidence or self-esteem, find a therapist with whom you connect to help you feel like the best version of yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you start liking yourself?
So, if you’re looking for strategies to start like yourself more today, stay reading to find out how.
- Accept and celebrate your individuality.
- Concentrate on what you have rather than what you need.
- Act more self-centered.
- Make a plan to improve yourself or learn to accept your imperfections.
- Celebrate even the tiniest victories.
Why do I not like myself?
A mental health issue such as depression or anxiety can also cause feelings of self-hatred. Depression, for example, can create feelings of hopelessness, remorse, and humiliation, all of which can make you feel inadequate.
Why is it so difficult to like yourself?
Our Pessimistic Attitude
We may cling to our flaws, past failures, and poor judgments as a result of a lack of acceptance and too much humiliation as children. We downplay the positive aspects of ourselves and our positive attributes. According to scientists, our brain has a negativity bias.
How do you fix not liking yourself?
So, what’s next?
- Begin small. You don’t have to love yourself completely right away.
- Don’t let your imperfections or mistakes define you. Flaws are characteristics that you possess.
- Make positive self-talk a habit. Positive things about yourself should be said aloud, even if it’s only to yourself.
- Accept compliments from others.
- Enhance your mental well-being.