Although, it’s the 21st century. But not everyone is comfortable with their partners being bisexual or worse, gay. But the important question, how do you know he or she is gay or bisexual because bad sex is not a determining factor, let’s find out more, shall we?
WARNING SIGNS YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY
Generally, straight spouses of gay or bisexual partners are sometimes the last to know about their spouses’ sexual orientation. Because partners may not share their sexual orientation for many years even after their marriage. Although infidelity is not the only factor that determines if he or she is gay. But it is part of this pattern. Because a cheating partner can be straight and not necessarily gay or bisexual. However, there are signs that your spouse might be gay, such as the way they dress, or even how they talk, walk, or look; some signs are;
1. He’s rarely jealous:
Generally, a lot of men can be really insecure especially when they are threatened by another man around their wives. Although this can also mean that he finds no reason to be envious because he trusts you. Notwithstanding, a man who is struggling with his sexuality will become less invested in marriage to a point that nothing, not even a man making advances towards his wife, would move him.
2. Reduced communication:
Basically, someone who is struggling with their sexuality often copes by becoming really secretive. They don’t like having deep conversations that might require them to open up different aspects of themselves they probably might not be ready to explore. Of course, a decrease in communication doesn’t always mean that they are struggling with sexuality though. Either way, communication is key.
3. He is homophobic:
Someone who is still in denial that he is gay can be quite homophobic though. Generally, homophobia deals with negative emotions and attitude towards people that are homosexuals. Basically, this is one of the telltale signs he might be gay or bisexual. Especially when he does it excessively. Generally, this can be a sign that he is really gay or bisexual. Even though this seems to be counter-intuitive, it can either be a reaction due to the fact that he is being confronted by a part of himself that he is uncomfortable with, or a part of himself that he doesn’t want other people to know about.
4. No or poor intimacy:
Generally, the first thing to go is your sex life. Your husband might be gay when he constantly avoids any form of physical contact or intercourse. When he may give in to sex, he seems like he’s only doing it to make you feel better or to appease you and trust me that’s not fun. Basically, he’s not sexually adventurous with you.
5. He is overly touchy or close to other men:
Well, guys don’t really do the whole sentimental stuff like hugs and things like that but you notice he seem overly affectionate or clingy towards male friends. Additionally, he gets too defensive when asked about relationships with men. When it’s getting excessive and his male friends becomes more of a priority. Then that is when it is a problem.
SIGNS YOUR HUSBAND IS GAY OR BI
Although, a lot of people nowadays find it easy to reveal their sexuality. However, there are a few people that still conform to the ancient society norms and keep their sexual identity a secret. When you doubt your husband is hiding the truth about his identity or is scared to share the truth with you, here are the signs of a bisexual husband;
6. Threesome Talks:
Generally, this is a common sexual fantasy for most Americans. However, if your husband gets excited about threesomes involving both genders, chances are that he really wishes to experiment with his sexuality.
7. Sexual Intimacy with the Same Sex:
You might often find your husband sitting in a compromising position with his male friends. In addition, he might even want to start having sleepovers and excessive “boys nights”. I’m general, this indicates that he can swing both ways and want the best of both worlds.
8. Going Overboard with Appreciation:
Basically, he goes overboard when it comes to appreciating his male friends and he gets “touchy-feely” all the time. It’s another sign that he might be gay or bi.
9. Experiences Same Sex Attraction:
Mere appreciation of appearance is not bisexuality though. If your husband is sharing sexual desires with both genders and admiring them more than necessary, then that might be a telltale sign of a different orientation.
10. He barely has straight friends:
When you count his friends, they are almost all gay or bisexual. However, this is not a definite sign that himself is bisexual. But combined with other signs, or if he seems to have a lot of gay or bisexual friends, it can be a strong indicator that he is one himself. Basically, any combination of these signs is a strong indication that your husband is indeed bisexual or plainly gay. That is, he has a strong interest in and desire for sex with men as well with women or just men in general. However, this does not necessarily mean that he has been having an affair with another man. But his bisexual activities and interest have not reached the point of infidelity, you still need to deal with the emotional effects on your marriage and relationship.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISCOVER THAT YOUR SPOUSE IS BISEXUAL?
Generally, bisexuality can be a messy reality but there is nothing that cannot be coped with. However, if you find your sex life ceasing and general negativity creeping in, consider visiting a counselor for professional help. Basically, the sudden discovery always comes as a great shock. You can’t think straight, you may even want to cry and blame your husband in general. Additionally, your world starts feeling crumbled and you may feel you can barely function, sleeping at night might become difficult. It’s understandable when all you want to do is yell and scream at your husband. But, then, the feeling of guilt creeps in, you’d start wondering how your children will have to cope with it. Generally, your future starts seeming unclear and dreams are shattered. Under the circumstances such feelings are natural but don’t worry you will get through it. Just give yourself time basically.
HOW TO START THE CONVERSATION?
Basically, no matter what has led you to wonder whether the partner you thought was straight might actually be gay;
1. Don’t Jump into Conclusions:
Never assume your husband is gay simply because you’re experiencing problems in your marriage. When they don’t want to have sex with you, there could be many other reasons for a lack of sexual desire. Basically, try approaching the situation with an open mind and listen to the reasons he has to offer for his behaviour.
2. Pick the Right Time and Place:
Although, the issue is quite sensitive. However, do not to ambush your partner with a difficult conversation. Instead, pick a private, neutral location during a time when neither of you are distracted by children, work, or other responsibilities. Try opening up to the idea of introducing your concerns and then having the conversation later. This approach can give your husband enough time to collect and arrange his thoughts and return to the conversation calmly.
3. Honest Communications is Key:
Talking with your partner and expressing your concerns and fears is quite important though. When your husband doesn’t want to talk with you about infidelity, low libido, or even other issues in your marriage, you may benefit from seeking couples’ counseling too.
HOW TO MOVE FORWARD
Though a husband coming to terms with his sexuality can surely affect your marriage. Because it is a deeply personal issue. However, you can find a way to heal and move forward in love, even if it means that you have to say goodbye because you are important too.
When your husband comes out to you or if you have concerns about his sexuality, try taking a careful approach. Basically, try to communicate openly and honestly, try not to jump to conclusions or make accusations. Additionally, don’t hesitate to seek professional help when you feel you need it. Learning that your husband’s sexual orientation is different from what you thought is a difficult, stressful experience, and dealing with past infidelity can further complicate things. When it gets too much, try and see a trained marriage counselor.
GAY OR BISEXUAL FAQ’S
What's the common result of having a bi or gay husband?
Well, infidelity. Because you can’t satisfy them so they seek further completion outside the marriage.
What's a clear sign of a gay husband?
Intimacy basically. Emotional and mostly physical or sexual. So you really have to look closely at that.
What if he's already cheating on me?
Although, a lot of people can’t really handle infidelity. However, if there’s anything that can be savoured, try that before calling a quit.
Where do I go from finding out my husband is gay?
Well, that’s a hard one. Because he’s not really into you at all, romantically that is. Well, therapy is the best place to start.
What do I do when I find out my partner is bisexual?
Bisexuality simplifies means they love both sex which means he loves you and dudes as well… Just talk it out, your interests as a couple and everything else. That should be a good start.