CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE COUNSELING: A Complete 2022 Guide (+ Quick Tips)

Christian marriage counseling can also be called Christian psychology or biblical counseling. This, however, is a combination of principles of psychology and faith to improve your mental health and relationships. This therapy method makes use of scriptural passages and teachings. Faith plays a vital role in Christian marriage counseling. When troubled with finance, relationship issues, and various life challenges, you will need faith to push through. The major aim of Christian counseling is to help Christians establish behaviors that are in line with God’s teachings. Christian marriage counselors use Bible as a guide on people’s behavior, thoughts, and deeds.

Tips On Christian Marriage Counseling

All couples encounter problems in their marriage and Christian couples are not excluded. It is when you realize that you can’t do it alone that a marriage counselor or therapist comes in.

With the help and guidance of a counselor, couples support each other and learn to conquer certain issues alone.

Here are tips to help your marriage

#1. Never Be Too Busy:

When Christian couples become too busy for each other, they may have a communication problem. Not being able to communicate can lead to doubt and jealousy.

Ensure you take time out of your busy schedule to spend with your spouse. Communication boosts a relationship.

#2. Avoid Money Issues:

In order to avoid having this kind of problem, learn to spend wisely. Buy only things you and your spouse can afford.

Ensure you save for rainy days too and also make sure to put your needs before your wants.

#3. Walk With God:

As a Christian couple, going to church, Programs, Bible study, having devotions and quiet time together is very important and necessary. Build your marital foundation on God.

#4. No Third Wheel:

A man and woman leave their family and are united as one flesh. Whenever you have issues amongst yourselves, it’s ok to listen to advice from other people but you and your spouse should have the final say.

Do not allow anyone to interfere with your marriage be it your family.

#5. Be Intimate With And In Everything:

Christian couples should work together. Christian marriage therapy with the guidance of the scripture will make you understand that you and your spouse are one.

Face your problems and rejoice together to maintain peace and harmony. Respect each other’s company and opinion.

Online Christian Marriage Counseling

When you are not disposable to visit your counselor or you have no Christian counseling agency around you, try these options.

#1. Faithful Counseling:

They provide professional mental health treatment with Biblical guidance or from a Biblical perspective. Their aim is to improve and increase psychological and spiritual wholeness.

Faithful Counseling doesn’t require your real name or any revealing information about you. Rather, you can always sign up with a nickname and also provide emergency contact information.

#2. Cornerstone Christian Counseling:

They provide online services to people who are not able to make it to any of their offices. Counselors are available from Monday through Saturday between 9 a.m and 9 p.m.

They use an online platform known as WeCounsel. You can call or email cornerstone to schedule an appointment.

#3. Grace Wellness Center:

This sit is the best option for Christian courses that prefer to chat. Their services are based on biblical truth. They also run pre-marital counseling.

To sign up, they will need your name, phone number, and email address. You will let them know if you prefer phone or online counseling or even both.

#4. Chatnow:

This website gives you the opportunity to chat with a Christian who cares. You will be matched with a volunteer once you enter the chat area. Chatnow volunteers are available anytime, anyday.

#5. Ground Wire:

This site doesn’t offer professional therapists. The site instead, is staffed by Christian coaches who volunteer their time. You can chat with them free of charge.

It is a part of Jesus Cares Outreach. Volunteer coaches are available to chat twenty-four hours a day and are prepared to listen and tell you the truth about Jesus and the Bible.

They also offer a free seven-day video series that will help in building your faith.

Free Christian Marriage Counseling

One of the sites that offer free Christian Marriage Counseling is MyCounselor. Online. It provides free and reduced-fee online counseling by professional counselors.

Their counselors know the Bible and are either provisionally trained or fully state licensed. They all have experience with faith-based treatment.

The first session is free and a refundable deposit is required to protect the therapist’s time. They make sure free sessions are utilized by persons serious about getting help.

Furthermore, you have the option to request a specific counselor once you look through the counselor’s pictures and biographies. Lastly, they provide marriage counseling, depression, anxiety counseling, and sex therapy.

Christian Pre-marriage Counseling

Christian Pre-marriage counseling helps a couple to build a marriage that will glorify God. It normally takes place in the church with your pastor. They have days you can visit for counseling.

In these sessions, you will be able to define your marital expectations and also discover each other’s beliefs and experiences about marriage.

It further teaches you how to prevent financial crises. It’s inevitable, yes, but when it happens, you and your partner will know how to handle it.

Christian Pre-marriage Counseling teaches you how to build a relationship with God and make Him the foundation of your marriage.

Forgiveness in Christian Marriage

The ability to assess intentions rather than consequences is what leads to forgiveness. Many people would prefer to attack terrible outcomes than the process that led to them. To forgive, you must stop asking “Why?” and instead ask “How?” or “What?”

“Why?” is a motive-driven query that typically elicits a defensive response. “How?” or “What?” indicates a willingness to listen and possibly forgive. We often see the best and worst in each other in marriage. The ability to forgive and reconcile offers the couple the confidence to communicate the truth.

To build trust, we must take responsibility for what we do and have done to damage each other selfishly and without thought (consciously or unconsciously). To recover trust, you must first apologize and then beg your partner to trust you not to do it again.

Faith is the link between belief and trust. You’re not asking for trust at first, just faith. Your partner may choose to trust you if you continually demonstrate that you have learned and changed over time. The only way to get there is via faith.

Mental Health in Christian Marriage

Feed the emotions and forget who you are logically and your integrity if you desire sadness, anxiety, and a marital breakdown. People who are inconsistent and flaky are prone to becoming despondent and self-destructive as a result of acting on their feelings. They wait for a feeling before doing what they know they should do.

Having a depressed partner who is guided by their emotions in a marriage is extremely challenging. Because their behaviors and commitments don’t match up, their ability to trust erodes. They become unreliable. The partner who receives this develops resentment since their partner is pressuring them to work harder, as though that partner is approving the depressed partner’s way of life. Due to the marriage, people are compelled to support something they do not wish to support.

For the sake of our relationship and family, we have a responsibility to attend to our mental health needs. It is our obligation, not our spouse’s, to take care of this. Nobody makes you feel anything; it’s entirely up to you to decide how you react to life.

Secrets are a damaging symptom as well. At all times, we owe each other the truth. I’m not implying that we must recount our past in order to make a commitment to the future. After you make the commitment to be together, we owe each other an open book at all times. This also implies that we owe each other truths about our former relationships or marriages. We do this out of love so that we may share and work on our challenges together.

Finances in Christian Marriage

Another area where there is a lot of conflicts is finances. People who live paycheck to paycheck frequently have marital problems. The assumption is that as we get older, we should be able to survive and navigate our way through life more easily. People who do not save money frequently suffer from severe insecurity because they are unprepared for emergencies or chances. They are limited in their options, and life can grow monotonous.

When a spender in a relationship has no boundaries and the pair is on a set budget, they are borrowing from the partnership and depleting its security. Finances are essential to our survival. People who gorge themselves for a day will starve for a month. That month will be long, stressful, and emotionally charged. Spenders who blame each other or keep their spending hidden are undermining trust and laying the groundwork for future development. To preserve a healthy partnership, we must agree on finances and keep the books open at all times.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Marriage

Passive-aggressive behavior is another source of conflict in marriage. If you despise fighting, why be married? To be in a relationship, you must master the art of having courteous and safe disputes. This means that we can express ourselves without relying on a Broadway play.

Passive-aggressive people have inadequate emotional intelligence. They suppress their emotions until the teapot bursts. Then a minor occurrence triggers an emotional outburst that justifies the person they are upset with by making them appear insane. Even if we think our partner has gone insane, marriage requires us to be patient and validating listeners. We have a better chance of being heard if we can hear.

Love Languages

Even if it’s the weakest part of you, you need to grow really good at satisfying your partner’s love language if you want to stay strong in your marriage. If you’re with someone who needs it, give it to them. That’s money in the bank for you. Give it to them if they need time together, presents, good communication, or kindness. Make it a full-time occupation! Your life will be at ease as a result of this.

A good existence begins with a happy partner. These are unstated realities about each other that you must understand and accept. Peace is acceptance. To figure out your love language, ask your partner what you’ve done in the past that made them feel truly appreciated. Bingo! That’s how they express their affection.

Support systems are crucial for both the relationship and the individual. Find folks who are different from you but who share your passion for God. Having that one thing in common is something that everyone can relate to. It provides you with a workspace. This assistance can be found in a variety of settings, including marital, men’s, and women’s groups. We can borrow strength from others when we don’t have it. When our role models fail us, we need to find new ones.

Because that is all they learned, many people wind up doing what their parents did. Those parents were raised in a different era. Some of what they did was probably harmful. The majority of what they did is unlikely to be relevant in today’s world. They are good role models if their marriage was based on working out the vows (even if selective).

FAQ

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reports an overall success rate of 98%. The success of couples therapy and other factors contributes to a decreasing divorce rate in the United States. Today, counseling can indeed save and strengthen a marriage.

Can counseling really save a marriage?

Couples therapy has been proven as an effective tool for healing a broken relationship and saving marriages on the brink of divorce. But because of the stigma surrounding counseling, research shows that only a fourth of all divorcing couples ever seek professional help.

How long should marriage counseling last?

The length of a session can vary, but 75 to 90-minute sessions are pretty standard for performing couples therapy or marriage counseling on a weekly basis. 50 to 60-minute sessions are generally for individuals and can be too short for couples.