Troubled relationships can be very depressing and challenging, especially for couples who intend to spend their lives together. Everyone is usually on their best behavior at the beginning of every relationship, making it difficult to ascertain their character, hence the troubles.
It takes a lot of hard work to build a good relationship. However, every relationship has its ups and downs. Trouble arises when you are no longer comfortable or satisfied with your partner or when you have reasons to doubt.
Early Troubled Relationships Problems
How much time do you spend with your partner? How often do you communicate? You should be worried if your communication is only on the phone or online. Communication matters a lot in every relationship, and the lack of it can drive you and your partner apart.
Not being sincere, even with little things, can also be seen as a problem in troubled relationships. Insincerity will only lead to “had I known” or “if only.” You are not meant to hide anything from your partner, especially if you plan to spend the rest of your lives together, but it’s definitely a red flag if you find yourself doing so.
Do you always want to have a “me” time? Would you rather spend time with anyone but your partner? Having alone time is good, but always spending time away from your partner is something that definitely breaks a couple.
These little signs will tell you you are in a troubled relationship.
Top Troubled Relationships Problems
When you allow the red flags you got earlier to breed, the problems are bound to magnify.
Here are the top problems we encounter in our relationship.
#1. No Communication, No Connection:
If there is no communication, there will be no connection or intimacy. Poor communication harms a relationship and can lead to trust issues among partners.
Trust is the key part of any relationship; when it is broken, it’s hard to return.
#2. Cheating:
If you always give an excuse instead of spending your free time with your partner, they may get the wrong signal. He or She will start looking for options or people to spend time with whenever you are away. This is how cheating starts.
Spending time with the opposite sex can open your partner’s eyes and mind to the things he or she didn’t even realize you do. And your relationship is often damaged before you discover what is going on.
#3. Keeping Secrets:
When you don’t communicate or spend time with your partner, keeping secrets from each other will be too easy to do. Most times, these secrets become so big that when you actually let them out, it ruins everything you have ever built with your partner.
#4. Financial Insecurity:
Looking down on your partner may be because you earn more than him or her, and trying to control your partner’s spending choices can be a huge turn-off for most people.
“To sustain a relationship, it is important for a couple to be on the same page regarding financial values,” says Mrin Agarwal, Founder and Director of Finsafe.
Overcoming Troubled Relationships Problems
Knowing you have a problem is one thing; seeking help or assistance is another. Overcoming your problems is quite easy when you admit there is one.
Here are a couple of things to do when you notice these petty signs: find yourself or have friends in troubled relationships.
- Always tell it no matter how big or hurting the truth may be. Let your partner know everything because lies hurt more.
- Maintain intimacy and communication. Endeavor to spend your free time with your partner always.
- Learn to pick your interest in whatever your partner loves doing, whether you are familiar with it or not.
- Always forgive. Forgiving helps you move on.
- Don’t always criticize or complain about your differences; get used to them and enjoy your relationship.
- The spark at the beginning of your relationship should always be there. Never let the fire quench.
- Feel free to consult your counselor if need be.
How to Rescue a Troubled Relationships
Even the strongest partnerships endure problems, as you’ve probably heard a million times.
Building a happy, healthy relationship takes effort and isn’t always simple, especially when trust has been broken. Stone Kraushaar, a clinical psychologist, says, “Issues are a part of life and a part of being in a partnership.” “And the idea is to work together to create meaningfully rather than concentrate on the past.”
So, how would you go about doing that? Whether you’re dealing with the aftermath of a betrayal or trying to maintain a long-distance relationship, here are some pointers to get you started.
When there’s been a breach of trust
Anytime trust is broken, there’s going to be a rift in the relationship. It might be painful to face, but leaving these issues unaddressed won’t help anyone in the long run.
#1. Take full responsibility if you’re at fault
If there has been infidelity or a breach of trust, it is critical that you accept full responsibility for what occurred and recognize how your actions harmed your partner.
Avoid becoming defensive or avoiding your error, but don’t be too hard on yourself either. “You should own it in a compassionate way that allows you to begin to reestablish trust,” Kraushaar advises.
#2. Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back
While it’s natural to be wounded and furious, there should also be a desire to improve the relationship.
“Trust can never be regained until the one who betrayed it gives their spouse an opportunity to earn it back,” says Kraushaar.
Don’t know where to begin? Our trust-building guide can assist you.
#3. Practice radical transparency
Kraushaar encourages couples to be “radically candid” with each other about what has wounded them rather than bottle up their emotions. This entails putting everything out there, even if you feel stupid or self-conscious about some of it.
If you’re the one who betrayed the trust, you must be completely honest with yourself about what drove you to do so. Was it just a case of bad judgment? Was it an attempt to ruin a situation you couldn’t seem to pull yourself out of?
#4. Seek professional help
Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship.
If there’s been a significant breach, consider working with a qualified therapist who specializes in relationships and can guide healing.
#5. Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt
If you’ve hurt your partner, it’s easy to fall into a spiral of shame and disappointment in yourself. But that’s not going to help either of you.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship
Being physically apart, more often than not, can be rough on a relationship. Keeping the romance alive takes extra effort on everyone’s part.
#6. Manage expectations
Have a conversation with your partner and establish ground rules that reflect your exclusivity and commitment to one another.
Being open and honest about your expectations from the start will help you avoid problems down the road.
#7. Have regularly scheduled visits
“It’s critical that couples are aware of and have scheduled visits so that they can look forward to them and plan to make them memorable,” Kraushaar says. In fact, studies have shown that long-distance relationships with a planned reunion are less stressful and more fulfilling.
#8. Set aside time for online dates
If you’re not able to organize scheduled time together due to significant distance or finances, Kraushaar recommends setting up regular online dates with a theme or specific focus.
#9. Don’t let your world revolve around your partner
While it’s critical to focus on maintaining intimacy in a long-distance relationship, you shouldn’t let it dominate you.
Don’t forget about other vital aspects of your life, no matter how much you miss the other person. Maintain your hobbies and interests; part of having a happy and healthy relationship is each partner being their own person.
When you live together
No matter how you dice it, going through a rough patch when you live together is stressful.
#10. Plan a weekly ‘couples meeting’
Kraushaar suggests setting up a certain period each week to talk about more tough things like money, sex, and trust so that they don’t flow over into your other relationships.
#11. Learn to compromise
Every relationship necessitates a certain amount of giving and taking. Being accepting of the other person’s needs and preferences without sacrificing your own might help nurture more pleasure and fulfillment when you live in close quarters.
#12. Spend time with friends outside of your relationship
Spending time with friends can positively impact your mental health and help you develop a stronger sense of self.
Keep in mind that remaining connected to your partner necessitates a life separate from your relationship.
#13. Engage in affectionate physical contact
Kraushaar advises couples to hug one other in a totally present and connected manner on a frequent basis. Holding hands or embracing releases oxytocin, a hormone that might help you relax and feel better.
If you’re not on the best of terms right now, this may be more difficult than it appears. Start small – merely touching theirs will demonstrate that you are still concerned.
#14. Don’t be hooked on romance
Deep-level intimacy is about creating a satisfying and meaningful relationship that isn’t always based on a romantic expression.
What are the 4 types of relationships?
There are four basic types of relationships: family relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships. Other more nuanced types of relationships might include work, teacher/student, and community or group relationships.
What is a toxic relationship?
Lillian Glass, a California-based communication and psychology expert who says she coined the term in her 1995 book Toxic People, defines a toxic relationship as “any relationship [between people who] don’t support each other, where there’s conflict, and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s unhealthy competition.
When should you quit trying in a relationship?
If your lack of sex life has become a constant source of conflict or contempt, or if your partner doesn’t want to discuss the issue or make any changes, it’s time to consider ending the relationship. While sex isn’t the most crucial thing in a long-term relationship, it is an important way to feel connected and loved.
Summary
Relationships can be challenging, and it’s normal for couples to face difficulties. However, a troubled relationship doesn’t have to end in a breakup. With effort, patience, and the right strategies, couples can navigate through tough times and emerge stronger.
