FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS: How to Build, Improve & Repair Them!!!

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

To overcome all odds in life, all you need is a solid family. The cheerful faces of your spouse and children help you keep balanced no matter how your day has gone, no matter how people have treated you, and no matter the issues you’ve been having. However, trust and support are not easy to come by. They are carefully nurtured and built over time. MomJunction discusses the value of family relationships, the traits of a solid family, and how to create a healthy family.

Family Relationships

Family is the third most common sort of interpersonal interaction we have. What is the definition of family? Is family formed by legal ties or by the shared bond of blood? Can a family be defined as a group of people who have made a commitment to one another? We define family as an ordered group, usually related by blood or some other binding aspect of commonality, where individual roles and relationships change throughout time in order to highlight the diversity of families. Family relationships are usually long-term, and there is usually a time when common space is shared.

What Makes Up A Family?

A family is made up of people who are linked to one another and have similar emotional bonds and beliefs. Members of a family might be linked through birth, marriage, or adoption. Parents, siblings, spouses, and children make up your immediate family. Grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, and other relatives make up your extended family.

Nuclear families (a couple and their children), joint families (a couple, their children, and grandkids), blended families (a couple, their children, and children from prior marriages), and so on.

What Is the Importance of Family Relationships?

A family is significant since it is responsible for our mental family, well-being, and stability.

  • A family creates a sense of safety and belonging among its members.
  • It gives us the consolation of having friends by our sides through difficult times, assisting us in stress management.
  • Despite our flaws, a family allows us to feel safe, protected, welcomed, and loved.
  • Families are the fundamental units through which children learn about relationships. Outside of the home, children raised in a healthy family will be able to build stronger ties.
  • Strong relationships teach us learn to trust others by sharing both good and terrible times with family members.
  • Family conflicts teach youngsters how to manage conflicts in a polite manner in the future.
  • All a person needs to grow self-assured in life is a strong family.

What Characteristics Do You Need To Have A Strong Family?

Each family is unique. However, all strong families have some characteristics. The following are a handful of them:

  • Maintain effective communication. Every member of a healthy family is talked to and listened to. It promotes both adults and children to participate in decision-making, express their opinions, and discuss their hopes and disappointments.
  • Have a sense of belonging together. The family members share common ideals and hence feel linked to one another. This sense of likeness provides psychological validation, as well as the satisfaction of being with people who share similar interests.
  • Spend quality time with one another. Every day, they make it a point to eat at least one meal together. They like to play games, go camping, eat out, and talk politics. They are actively involved in each other’s life, but they know when to draw the line.
  • Show each member that you care about them. The members have a lot of kind things to say to one another. They welcome you completely, yet if you stray, they will point you in the proper direction. They make you feel at home with their tenderness and devotion.
  • Set a good example. What the elders teach the family’s younger members is followed by the elders. The value system is established by example.
  • Its members are supported. Although the world is against you, your family is on your side. It encourages you in your fight and lets you know that they are rooting for you. A close-knit family does not make distinctions between family members and meets everyone’s needs.
  • View a crisis as an opportunity to learn and grow. They seek to find the positive in every scenario, allowing you to cope with difficult situations without being overwhelmed.
  • Pay attention to the well-being of each and every one of your team members. The members of the family work together to protect and provide for one another. Only mutual love can push people to give up their conveniences for the sake of their family’s happiness.
  • Demonstrate perseverance. Every family suffers ups and downs in their life and shares sad memories. However, no traumatic event can break the link.

Keep in mind that all of these qualities of a strong family do not appear out of nowhere. To create a healthy family, you must work together for years.

Family Relationships Chart

Family trees can be a source of frustration. Without the need for a difficult Table of Consanguinity, check out our simple Family Relationship Chart and you’ll be able to grasp all of your kinfolk and cousin relationships (and even those beautiful Grand Aunts)! What exactly is that?

Following consanguinity (a broad word that indicates direct descendants — biological child relationships) and immediate affinal (in-law) relationships, genealogy defines family relationships based on generation.

A direct descendant can trace their genealogy down to a specific ancestor through child relationships. You are linked to another individual through blood if you share an ancestor.

Find Your Kin Using Our Family Tree Chart!

Family Relationships Chart
Image of Family Relationships Chart

The following are some helpful hints for deciphering the family relationship chart:

  • All COUSINS are depicted in orange.

FIRST COUSINS: The grandparents are the same.

SECOND COUSINS: They are related through their great-grandparents.

THIRD COUSINS: They are related through their great-great-grandparents.

REMOVE THE FIRST COUSINS: One generation apart from a first cousin

TWO TIMES REMOVED FIRST COUSINS: Two generations separate you from a first cousin.

  • NON-REMOVED Cousins belong to the same generation as each other.
  • DELETED There are two types of cousins: ascendant and descendent.

ASCENDANT relatives are from a previous generation.

DESCENDANT relatives come from a higher generation.

Family Relationships Tree

Tree of Family Relationships! With a family tree chart and a relationships chart, there’s a list of useful family words. It’s probably extremely easy for you to talk about your family tree in your native language, but can you do the same in English? If the answer is no, don’t worry; you’ll learn how to talk about your family tree and how different people are linked to one another in this section.

This comes in handy when talking about yourself and your family, as well as when you need to listen and understand when someone else explains their family tree to you.

Family Relationships Tree
Image of a Family Relationship Tree

How to Build Family Relationships

Here are a few suggestions for strengthening family bonds:

1. Devote quality time to your work.

Set aside some time each day (maybe during mealtimes) as family time, when you can discuss issues and laugh together.

  • Tell family stories or offer simple questions to elicit dialogue, such as “Hey, what did you do today at school?” or “How are you getting along with your new Math teacher?”
  • Set aside time for everyone in the family to talk one-on-one to strengthen your bond. Even if it’s only five minutes before bedtime, this can bring all family members closer together.
  • Set aside some time just for your partner.

2. Maintain open lines of contact with all members of the family.

Respect your children’s or spouse’s wants and pay attention to them when they want to communicate. Allow them ample time to properly express themselves.

  • Be personable when discussing difficult topics. Instead of rejecting feelings like anger or irritation, or delicate situations, talking about them should be encouraged. Talking about them does not imply that you are supporting them, but rather that you are assisting in the solution of the problem. Also, be hospitable, even if it means having difficult conversations. That is how people gain confidence in their ability to turn to family for help with any problem.
  • Be prepared for an unexpected talk with children. Before going to bed or in the shower, they frequently discuss their feelings. Pay attention to what they’re saying.
  • Be ready to discuss sensitive topics, especially with teenagers. Families find it difficult to talk about sex, alcohol, drugs, or money with their children. You may resolve such issues, though, by having a talk.
  • Encourage nonverbal communication by giving your children a warm kiss on the forehead every night before they go to bed. It has the ability to communicate your affection to them.

3. Value each member of the family.

Thank each team member for doing an excellent job. Praising and thanking a teenager for caring for a younger sister, for example, will make them feel significant.

4. Recognize and appreciate each other’s abilities, differences, and strengths.

A good family consistently values each member’s individuality and recognizes their qualities and strengths. At the same time, they assist each other in correcting their flaws.

5. Maintain your concentration on the current issue.

When you have to deal with a situation, don’t bring up earlier issues. You can avoid discomfort this way and instead concentrate on the problem at hand.

6. Work together as a team

When your family works together as a unit, everyone feels valued for their contribution. Household tasks should be shared. Allow small children to help with duties such as tidying up toys and putting their shoes away.

7. Create a set of explicit family rules.

Make family rules that spell out how each family member should act and treat one another. “We converse respectfully with everyone in our family,” for example, or “We always help each other in our family.” Small but explicit rules like these can make a family stronger and more harmonious.

8. Teach forgiveness and making amends to youngsters.

When someone makes a mistake, healthy families educate their members how to apologize and forgive others. It instills in children the importance of accepting responsibility for their actions. To strengthen your sense of belonging, create entertaining family traditions that are unique to your family.

How to Improve Family Relationships

The eight families competing in the Intermountain Medical Center Heart Institute’s My Heart Challenge: Family Edition are attempting to improve their eating and exercise habits, but strong family bonds are also beneficial to the heart.

1. Communicate with one another

Speaking with the people closest to you is one of the best methods to get to know them. Talk about your dreams, hopes, and aspirations with your partner and children on a regular basis. Ask them interesting questions about their lives to learn more about who they are. What you find could surprise you.

2. Share a meal

Talking together goes hand in hand with this. Find a meal that everyone can share every day, or at least a couple times a week. Make something that everyone enjoys and encourage family members to talk about it. Turn off the televisions and encourage everyone to interact with one another. You don’t have to put in a lot of effort. Begin by expressing genuine curiosity and work your way up from there.

3. Spend one-on-one time with each member of the family.

It’s fantastic to talk to each other as a family, but don’t forget to spend time with each family member alone. Take a stroll or play a game. It’s as easy as asking them what they’d like to do for half an hour. Don’t be concerned with the quantity of time spent together; instead, be concerned with the quality of time spent together. They could even be able to teach you something you didn’t know.

4. Have a weekly family night.

Eating together is a wonderful way for the entire family to spend time together. Making time for the family to do something together once a week is also vital. It’s easy to become distracted and disconnected from your family in the digital age. Take the time to attend a child’s soccer match as a family or go out for ice cream. It does not have to be large or costly. Simply put, make it significant.

5. Set aside some time for yourself.

Being constantly surrounded by your partner and children might be exhausting. Remember to set aside some time each week for yourself, especially during the summer when the kids are at home. It doesn’t have to be long; all that matters is that you’re doing something you enjoy and find rewarding.

How to Repair Family Relationships

If you’re ready to rekindle an estranged relationship, here are five steps to follow, from what to consider before reaching out to what to say once you do.

Step 1: Put yourself in the shoes of the other person.

That means imagining how they might have been harmed by whatever perceived wrongdoing occurred in the relationship, whether it’s your 35-year-old son who claims he’s never felt loved or appreciated by you (despite your belief that you were a supportive and nurturing parent) or a once-loved relative who married someone you couldn’t get along with.

Step 2: Before reaching out, use therapy to help you grow as a person.

This, according to Gilbertson, is “a requirement for reuniting.” You don’t want to revert to the person you were before your estrangement. You want to make sure you’ve progressed in terms of your self-awareness and the family dynamics you were reared in, she says.

When a person becomes a parent, their upbringing can have a significant impact on how they act, perhaps leaving their children with unfulfilled emotional needs that might lead to a rift. “Your child has a unique temperament and may require something that you did not provide,” Gilbertson explains. Therapy can help you grow emotionally by reflecting on this and preparing you for reconnection.

Step 3: Make Contact and Accept Responsibility

According to Gilbertson, a heartfelt apology is frequently the only way to reach out to someone who has dropped out of a family bond. You want to accept full responsibility for your part in the breakup. (Are you sure you’re not at fault? It’s time to return to step one. While the “fault” isn’t always evenly distributed, it’s rarely one-sided.)

“I’m sorry I haven’t contacted you in such a long time,” you could begin. I’ve been missing you. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’m ready to take charge of XYZ.” Saying “I’m sorry you feel like…” or “I apologize for whatever I may have done to harm you” is unsatisfying, conditional, and may exacerbate the emotional distance already there.

Step 4: Hold the First Meeting in a Public, Neutral Environment

“In a public environment, people tend to have better manners, so there’s less risk of screaming or storming away,” says Lindsey Perper Davanzo, L.C.S.W., a therapist who specializes in high-conflict family mediation in Lincolnshire, Illinois. In a person’s living room, tempers are more likely to flare than in an outdoor café, park, or green space.

Another alternative is to meet in the office of a therapist or mediator, where a professional can assist in keeping the talk productive without favoring either party. Perper Davanzo compares it to Switzerland.

Step 5: Accept That Things Might Not Work Out (But That Trying Is Still a Success)

In many circumstances, reconciliation will succeed, and you’ll be on your way to rekindling your relationship and creating new memories for years to come. Alternatively, you could follow all the rules in an attempt to rebuild your relationship, but the other person will not be ready or interested.

“At least you’ve put it all out there,” Perper Davanzo replies, despite the awful fact. “There’s a sense of accomplishment in achieving a goal you set for yourself.” We have no control over what we say or do. Even if the person says, ‘Too little, too late,’ the process of attempting to repair the situation can be cathartic in the end.”

Movies About Family Relationships

When it comes to family issues, a heartwarming inspirational film can be an excellent substitute for a visit with a therapist. Try to capture the essence of each film’s message; who knows, it might just help you make a difficult decision or prevent you from taking the wrong step. The following 13 films are ideal for a cozy family movie night at home. Enjoy!

1. The Family Man

You’ll be startled if you expect this film to be a lighthearted family comedy-drama. However, in a good way. ‘The Family Man,’ starring Nicolas Cage, is simply a ‘fake’ fairy tale. Rather, the film tackles some important concerns while still promoting essential family values. This one is deserving of a standing ovation.

2. About a Boy

The movie’s slogan reads, “Growing up has nothing to do with age,” and we couldn’t agree more. This is a heartfelt film about the things that matter most in our lives: love, happiness, and family. Here, the hilarious meets the sorrowful, as Marcus, a sincere but weird youngster, clashes with Hugh Grant’s selfish character Will. They both learn something new from each other and, as a result, mature.

3. Blue Valentine

‘Blue Valentine’ is an American romantic drama film that focuses on how to save relationships and offer a happy family a second opportunity. Dean (Ryan Gosling) and Cindy (Michelle Williams), a married couple, were head over heals in love. Their ardour faded over time, and their partnership became more of a burden than a blessing. Will they be able to repair what’s broken?

4. The Addams Family

This fantasy comedy film was inspired by a cartoon about the Addams family, a strange yet devoted married couple and their various cousins. They have an odd appearance, always wear black clothing, and live in a creepy old mansion. Their kin include insane witches, killers, and even monsters. Nothing, however, can keep them from being happy and loving and caring for each other completely. Although it may seem unusual, we believe the Addams family set a terrific example for all modern families!

5. It’s Complicated

It’s Complicated’ is a lighthearted and uncomplicated family film filled with thought-provoking dialogue, amusing stories, and hilarious gags. If you think that people who reach 50 become serious and responsible right away, think again. This film, starring Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, will prove you wrong.

6. Walk in the Clouds

After seeing films like ‘Walk in the Clouds,’ you begin to feel that universal values such as beauty and love may still be able to salvage our wacky old world. This film is worth seeing because of its excellent soundtrack, brilliant performers, and engaging plot.

7. As Good As It Gets

‘As Good As It Gets’ is a romantic comedy about characters who have become trapped in a vicious cycle. They find it difficult to accept new people into their lives. The poignant discussions, outstanding actors, and several comedic scenes will lighten your day and remind you that everyone needs someone.

8. Kramer vs. Kramer

This is one of the best films for educating young people who fantasize about having the perfect family. Life isn’t a box of chocolates, and every family has its unique set of problems – this is something we must all remember. A divorced couple, Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep, teach how to nurture patience and love, as well as how to put the needs of others first.

9. Facing Windows

This Italian film, directed by Ferzan zpetek, follows a married couple whose relationship is deteriorating. ‘Facing Windows,’ on the other hand, is about discovering your actual self, changing your life, and finally being content with what you have. Changing everything at once is a difficult endeavor, but it’s one worth attempting.

10. The Story Of Us

A fantastic and deeply moving film that demonstrates how seemingly minor facts can devastate everything we have. A slew of minor irritations morph into mutual misunderstanding and hatred, resulting in tension and sadness. Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis did an excellent job portraying a relationship in this situation.

11. The Painted Veil

The Painted Veil is based on W. Somerset Maugham’s novel. A little, peaceful town tucked up in the mountains. During a cholera pandemic, Walter (Edward Norton) and Kitty (Naomi Watts) fall in love. Their love story is a little different from the one depicted in the novel by Maugham, but it’s charming in its own right. The film delivers a clear message: true love is never passionate and born in a flash, but rather develops over time through understanding and patience.

12. Yours, Mine & Ours

‘Yours, Mine, and Ours’ is a must-see film for the entire family. Despite having a fairly easy and predictable plot, you’ll find it amusing and worth watching. What more could you ask for in a superb comedy film than brilliant actors, a gorgeous soundtrack, and a billion jokes?

Family Relationships That Are Toxic

It’s difficult to recognize toxic or dysfunctional family dynamics, especially when you’re still caught up in them. Here are some common warning signs, as well as what to do if you notice them in your own family.

1. Remember your childhood.

Many people do not realize the consequences of their childhood family setting until they are well into adulthood.

2. You were held to unrealistic expectations.

To help each other out, family members take on different duties from time to time. Perhaps it was your responsibility to clear the table after Sunday dinners. Perhaps you aided with the supervision of younger siblings on occasion. All of this is very normal.

However, these responsibilities should not have prevented you from doing schoolwork, playing, or obtaining enough sleep.

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you might have been expected to:

  • Parent or punish younger siblings, or take care of them the most of the time
  • Assume responsibilities such as cooking meals or performing certain heavy tasks before you are safe or capable of doing so.
  • As if you were a partner or other adult, offer emotional support

3. You were severely chastised.

Most parents occasionally chastise or condemn their children’s behavior. These comments, however, should be helpful and focused on the conduct rather than the child. They should never make you feel unimportant, unloved, or undesired.

4. Your requirements aren’t being met

Nobody is without flaws. Maybe your parents didn’t always pick you up on time from school, and you had to wait. Perhaps they neglected to pay their electric bill once, and the power was out for two days.

Supportive family members, on the other hand, should help you meet your basic needs by:

  • Establishing borders
  • Enforcing discipline as well as affection
  • Looking after your health and happiness
  • Ensuring that you were educated
  • Making sure you have enough food and clean clothes to wear

While there may be other elements at play, going without any of the above on a frequent basis can indicate a toxic or unhealthy family dynamic.

What can you do about it?

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with toxic family members. Some folks want to avoid all touch. Others try to make the best of the situation by limiting their contact with toxic family members and taking measures to preserve their emotional well-being when they do encounter them.

These guidelines can help you navigate meetings and manage with any problematic or stressful times that arise if you have a toxic history or if your current family arrangement has toxic components.

1. Make a decision on what you desire.

Identifying what you want out of the relationship might assist you in determining the boundaries you wish to establish. Say you enjoy spending time with your sister informally on weekends, but not when she inquires about your romantic life. You know she’ll tell your mother about it, and she’ll call to scold and tease you.

2. Exercise detachment.

When you do spend time with family, don’t let them drag you into family matters that you’d rather avoid. You don’t have to participate in anything you don’t want to.

Detachment can take the form of:

  • Avoidance of tumultuous situations
  • Avoid issues that elicit strong feelings
  • Maintaining a light and easygoing tone of discourse
  • If necessary, stopping the conversation or departing

3. Decide what you’re going to share and what you’re going to keep private.

You don’t have to tell your family everything. Toxic family members who have a history of using them to criticize, mock, or manipulate you may find it beneficial to keep important details private.

4. Learn when to say no

Setting boundaries for yourself and saying no to things that might compromise those boundaries can help you navigate difficult or toxic relationship patterns more easily.

It’s not always easy to say no to family members. Fabrizio adds, “If you reject any family member’s behavior (no matter how outrageous), you take the risk they may reject you.”

If you know a situation will make you feel unhappy, distressed, or uncomfortable, saying “no” might be your best option. If you want to, you can explain your reasoning, but you don’t have to.

5. Never try to persuade someone to change their mind.

When dealing with toxic family members, it’s not uncommon to hold out hope that they’ll change. You might daydream about the day they realize how much they’ve hurt you and decide to change their ways.

People can and do change, but you have no influence over it. There’s not much you can do except tell them how you feel, ask them to consider your point of view, and encourage them to seek help from a therapist or other professional.

6. Speak with someone

Sharing your feelings with someone can be quite beneficial, whether you’re dealing with a toxic family environment or trying to overcome the repercussions of a terrible childhood.

This is especially helpful for staying grounded in reality when toxic family members or distressing situations cause you to doubt yourself.

Conclusion

People in strong family relationships rely on one another for support, love, affection, and warmth. Members of the family feel secure and connected to one another. Conflict occurs in these relationships from time to time, which is a natural element of family life. Adults, children, and teenagers can all have conflicts.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the importance of family relationships?

When children have strong and pleasant family interactions, they feel safe and loved. Positive family ties aid in the resolution of disputes, teamwork, and enjoyment of one another’s company. Quality time, communication, teamwork, and mutual respect are the foundations of strong family connections.

What is an example of a family relationship?

Two or more people who live together and are connected through birth, marriage, or adoption are an example of a structural definition of family. If a parent and son, two cousins, or a brother and sister live together, they are considered a family by this definition.

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