When it comes to communication in marriage, the sad truth is that almost all married couples find it difficult to communicate with each other. Generally, it’s just too much to handle when we get frustrated, angry, and had some heated arguments so communication is now hard. But, communication is what makes a relationship flow and work properly.
Communication In Marriage
Generally, there is this massive physiological difference between men and women. It’s not just different outside body parts, it’s also different brains. When men are young and still in the womb, they are often soaked with testosterone. Generally, testosterone has been shown to sever some neurological communication between the left and right brain spheres which are the bridges between emotion and communication. However, for women, it is entirely different. Their brains are soaked in estrogen and the entire brain stays very interconnected; emotions and communication are much more intertwined. Basically, that is why women thrive on communication. In fact, when you genuinely talk to your wife, an MRI can pick up significantly more blood flow in both spheres of her brain. With men, not so much. This is why communication in marriage can seem very difficult in general.
Communication In Marriage Books
#1. Communication in Marriage: How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting by Marcus and Ashley Kusi
Basically, couples would feel they can’t speak to their partners, that is have a normal conversation without getting into a fight, then this book is definitely for you. No matter your communication struggles and needs, this book will be right for you. Even better, you can also get its companion workbook (below) too.
#2. Communication in Marriage: A Companion Workbook for Couples
This communication workbook for couples is the workbook for the Communication in Marriage book above. It specifically has different communication exercises for couples to practice what they learn from the companion book. Additionally, it has enough space for couples to comfortably write their thoughts and answers to questions from the companion book.
#3. Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict by Jonathan Robinson
Although not all couples would readily admit it, they have all felt blamed, shamed, and even misunderstood, and they have all caused their partner to feel the same along the line. Generally, this book will provide you with listening tools that get you and your spouse to not only really hear each other but to understand one another better. It teaches a lot of active listening skills in general. Basically, this book will provide you with listening tools that get you and your spouse to not only really hear each other but to understand one another better.
#4. Now You’re Speaking My Language: Honest Communication and Deeper Intimacy for a Stronger Marriage by Gary Chapman
Best-selling author, Gary Chapman, states that communication and intimacy are the keys to a healthy marriage. In this popular book, he teaches couples how to learn to encourage their partners in spiritual growth, and even deepen intimacy and communicate better.
#5. Communication: Key to Your Marriage: The Secret to True Happiness by Norman Wright
Yes, I understand you are really desperate to cover the holes in your relationship, this book can help. This book basically focuses on understanding the different ways in which men and women communicate so you and your partner can understand each other better.
Communication In Marriage Quotes
Some quotes for adequate communication in your marriage/ relationship are;
1. Do not be quick to assume your partner knows everything happening in your head, if not we won’t have mouths just minds, don’t you think so though?
2. Even when it’s messy, uncomfortable, or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal is simply getting everything out and when you start normalizing living bitterly, then you’d live a lonely existence.
3. I respect a person who is vocal. Tell me why you’re into me. Tell me why I pissed you off and tell me how I can fix it. Say everything.
4. Without a doubt communication is important in all relationships. Just as there is no love without respect, then there is no relationship or marriage without good communication.
5. The biggest communication problem is when we do not listen to understand. But we listen to reply.
6. Communication is really important though. To be able to tell the other what’s on your mind without fighting or arguing is a hidden strength.
7. Distance isn’t a big factor in a relationship, communication is basically.
8. Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold. (William Paisley).
9. The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t being said. The art of reading between the lines is a lifelong quest of the wise. (Shannon L. Adler)
10. In a relationship, when communication starts to die, everything else follows.
How to Improve Communication In Marriage
What is the best way to truly improve communication in your marriage though? Some ways are;
#1. Model respectful/ active listening:
When your partner is always the one taking the first and bold step, change your tactics, take responsibility. Try to step up and listen already. Fortunately, most good listeners tend to get listened to in return. It’s just basically karma.
#2. Choose to be genuinely interested in what your spouse has to say:
Yes, it’s a choice. Do you say you love her? Then show it, don’t tune her out when the conversation is not about something you like or going the way you want it. Basically, just do all she wants sometimes, don’t be too much of an alpha Make. When she needs you, make time, go on that Parent Teacher Meeting with her, read that book you know she loves so much, watch her favorite movie or home makeover show with her, walk hand in hand around the art gallery, shows some interest in her friends. Basically, just show interest, don’t fake it.
#3. Write your spouse a note that reinforces your message:
a. “I’m looking forward to our date night on Sunday! Can’t wait though”
b. “Here are some things I want us to talk to Abby’s teacher about. What do you think though?”
c. When he gets you lunch, “Thanks for bringing me lunch yesterday; I love you so much!”
#4. Schedule regular, media-free family time:
This applies to both communication in marriage and the family dynamic in general. Basically, there should be downtime for family talks. They can be informal family meetings and workshops when parents find time to both teach manners as well as a model as examples for their kids. Additionally, mealtimes are an awesome ongoing opportunity with or without children to keep communication flowing and growing.
#5. Keep the television turned off:
When you are trying to have a serious talk, TV as a constant background is;
a. An intense invitation to tune out relationships at the time.
b. A distraction in serious talks generally.
c. A strong message about what is important and obviously less important in a home.
d. Basically an excuse to avoid communication.
#6. Make eye contact when you are talking:
Basically, intimacy both physical and emotional can help here. When you are talking, try a good amount of touch, responsive and reflective feedback, and body language (smiles, gestures, head tilts, raised eyebrows, nods, etc.) to demonstrate that communication is actually happening.
#7. Avoid all surface level or single word responses in general:
When talking with your spouse, it’s too easy to brush off real communication, squash first-order interaction, and signal your spouse that you are not really interested.
#8. Pick a good location for all important reminders, dates, and messages:
When you should always write things down to remember, you’re not an android. Basically, a large calendar on the refrigerator a bulletin board in the kitchen, or a whiteboard by the front door.
#9. Include your spouse as a friend in all your social media lists:
Remember no secrets, that is the first key to a happy relationship. No one should get more of your time than your partner. Include one another as primary contacts, keep one another “in the loop”, send one another messages every day, and act as if you are each other’s best friend generally.
When you feel like your communication skills aren’t improving, or conflicts are intensifying, it may be time to reach out to a professional. A mental health professional who specializes in couples and marriage counseling can give you and your partner a really amazing and professional outside perspective.
Communication In Marriage FAQ’S
How can I increase communication in my marriage?
At first you can try talking out with your partner but when it becomes too much, seeing a therapist is also good.
What do I do when I keep trying to communicate with my partner but he is not into it?
Well, talk it out with him to know/ understand his reason.