This article is all about the subtle ways you can tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you or has already done so. We see you and know that you have the means to dig up dirt on or evidence against your boyfriend. But it’s possible that you’re just nervous about something your boyfriend is doing, or that he’s acting suspiciously.
We’ve already spoken with dating experts who have identified some subtle, not-so-obvious signs that your boyfriend may be cheating on you or has already cheated on you.
But keep in mind that the definition of cheating varies depending on who you ask. Some people may not consider micro-cheating to be a real issue, while others may consider following a new person on Instagram to be outright cheating. Basically, it’s probably best to agree on what “cheating” means with your significant other before you call them out on any of the following.
Also, before you call your partner out, make sure they’re checking off multiple boxes here (keyword: multiple). It’s worth bringing up in a conversation if there’s only one thing that really hits home, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve cheated on you. It’s time to talk about it.
How Do I Know My Boyfriend Cheated On Me
Want to know if your boyfriend has cheated on you? We talked to a relationship expert about some of the most common signs of cheating and why they occur.
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#1. Your gut feeling
For many women, the first sign that something is wrong is when they suspect something is wrong. Although intuition isn’t proof that your guy is doing something wrong, you have a feeling something isn’t quite right. Often, you’ve picked up on some of the other signs unconsciously in these situations.
The simple explanation is that your intuition may be incorrect. Do you communicate with each other enough? Maybe he’s going through a difficult time.
Hunches have been proven to be correct more often than not in the past. Keep your eyes and ears open for some of the other signs if your instincts tell you he’s playing games with you.
#2. Technological advancements
His actions: As technology makes it easier to contact people, it not only makes it easier to have an affair, but it also means there are more opportunities to be caught out. You might find out that your man has an email account you were unaware of, or that he has two phone numbers and you only know one. Another sign is when he begins taking calls and walks out of the room, often claiming it’s for work, and then becomes defensive when you approach his phone.
The innocent explanation: his boss has asked him to be on call when he’s at home, and he’s been given a work phone, and your partner doesn’t want to interrupt whatever you’re doing. Maybe he’s planning something special for you that he doesn’t want you to know about.
The guilty reason: his mistress is sending him texts or emails while you’re at home, and he’s attempting to conceal it. If you’re tempted to look through his phone, think twice. Are your suspicions worth betraying his trust?
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#3. Your friends are aware that something is wrong.
His behavior: This isn’t something he’s done, but friends and family will often notice that something isn’t quite right between the two of you and will begin to inquire. Perhaps you’ve noticed that you argue more when you’re with others, or that your friends have noticed that you’re tense when you’re together.
The innocent explanation: you’re going through a difficult time or you’re just tense when you’re around other people. Perhaps you should talk things over with your partner or, if necessary, seek couple’s counseling.
The guilty reason: If more than one best friend asks if everything is fine between you, it’s time to take a step back and think – especially if you hadn’t noticed anything was wrong!
#4. He is easily irritated.
When you ask him questions about what he’s been up to, he becomes defensive and jittery.
The innocent explanation: he might be planning a surprise vacation or romantic getaway and doesn’t want you to spoil it.
The guilty reason: he’s afraid you’re spying on him and will find out about his cheating habits.
#5. He accuses you of being a cheater.
His demeanor: This will likely come as a surprise, but he may ask outright if you’ve been seeing anyone else. Men are more forthright than women.
The innocent explanation: just because men cheat more than women, according to statistics, doesn’t mean they won’t have their own suspicions. It’s not an unreasonable explanation if your relationship is going through a rough patch—especially if you’ve stopped talking as much.
The guilty reason: Cheaters frequently suspect their partners of cheating because they believe that if they can get away with it, so can you. Many people who cheat deal with their guilt in the same way – they try to make themselves feel better by turning the tables on them.
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#6. He’s hotter than ever In bed
When you’re in the throes of passion, your husband suddenly starts doing something new and amazing. It could be a brand-new foreplay technique or a sex position you’ve never heard of before.
The innocent explanation: he could have been browsing new sex tips and decided to try them out. Don’t be too harsh on the guy for attempting it!
The guilty reason: One of the more unusual signs he’s cheating is that if it happens more than once and out of nowhere, it could be because someone in another bed is teaching him something new!
#7. You don’t talk anymore
His actions are nearly the polar opposite of his being overly interested in you. Maybe he’s lost interest in what you did during the day, or he’s stopped saying “I love you,” or doesn’t want to kiss or hug you anymore.
The innocent explanation: could he be stressed or worried about something? This can often explain his mood swings or lack of interest, which he isn’t aware of.
The guilty reason: If he starts to lose interest in finding out what you’ve done during the day and how you’re feeling, it’s usually a sign that he’s getting his emotional fix somewhere else. When kissing stops in a relationship, it’s usually taken as a major red flag.
Why Did My Boyfriend Cheated On Me
Here are some of the most common reasons why your boyfriend cheated on you. Before you read through these reasons, keep in mind that none of them are valid reasons why your boyfriend cheated on you.
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#1. The excitement is gone
There may be a lack of communication, and feelings of inadequacy may go unaddressed. It’s also common for people to believe that their love for others is misunderstood and that they are unable to communicate it effectively. A person who does not feel loved or is unsure about the love in a relationship may feel compelled to cheat.
#2. Sexual entanglement
When a romantic relationship begins to fade, a person may feel unfulfilled. Your partner’s sexual interests, on the other hand, may be something you don’t want to explore sexually. It may aid in the discovery of common ground, or it may lead them to seek fulfillment elsewhere. Sexual interests can also refer to your partner’s feelings about their own sexuality or orientation. They may experiment outside of the relationship in order to learn more about themselves sexually.
Men and women, especially in relationships, enjoy being the center of attention. It’s rare for a man to admit that he requires attention, but failing to do so will almost certainly result in a reaction from him. When a person believes their partner isn’t paying attention to them or is neglecting the relationship, they may feel compelled to look for love elsewhere. It’s also easy for someone who isn’t getting enough attention in their relationship to accept it from anyone who does.
Some people want to experiment with a wide range of sexual sensations. This is sometimes the case for young couples who begin dating. One partner may feel that they’ve missed out on something or that they’ve settled down with one person too soon at some point. They cheat to make up for the time they lost as a result of being committed at such a young age.
Accidental relationships occur more frequently than you might believe. It’s common for one party to believe that a relationship has been established when the other is content to date. Unspoken relationship rules can quickly lead to an unintentional relationship. What is the outcome of a situation like this? The person who slipped into commitment isn’t as committed as the other and will most likely act the same way they did when they were single.
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#6. Accidental relationship
A person with low self-esteem frequently seeks external validation. Unfortunately, these sources are sometimes found outside of the relationship. Cheating can be a confidence booster for some people. It demonstrates to them that they are desired or needed by others. Some people want to feel needed in life because it gives them validation. They may not feel this way at home or in their current relationship, but if they don’t, a person with low confidence can thrive by meeting the needs of others, especially those who aren’t in their usual circle.
#7. Self-Belief Booster
This is one of the most common reasons why your boyfriend cheated on you. If a person believes or knows that they have been cheated, it is easier for them to act in retaliation. Revenge relationships are common, but they can be the most difficult to resolve. It’s a situation in which both partners in the relationship have been severely hurt and betrayed and have been forced to learn how to cope.
It’s simple to browse and swipe through online dating apps until you find the perfect match. But what if the person browsing is already involved in a relationship? Many people believe it’s safe because it’s online. According to recent studies, more than 30% of heterosexual couples and more than 60% of same-sex couples met online. Before going on a real date, people can engage and interact in a safe environment with virtual dating.
15+ Best Insightful Tips to Move On
It’s difficult to get back on track after you have been cheated on by your boyfriend. Nothing, however, is impossible. You can re-establish trust with a little adjustment and understanding. The following advice should help you feel more optimistic about the future of your relationship after your boyfriend has cheated on you.
#1. Keep lines of communication open and clear.
There should be clarity in conversations once both partners have agreed to leave the past behind and move forward together. What factors contributed to the affair? How can you avoid similar situations in the future? Before a new beginning, such details must be clarified. When you talk openly with your faithful partner, you will gain their trust. You can also discuss establishing new relationship boundaries.
#2. Acknowledge your flaws
The betrayed partner should not hold the faithful partner or a third party responsible for their mistake. Some flaws in the betrayed partner, such as poor self-control, taking the relationship for granted, or a lack of communication, may have caused the other partner to look elsewhere.
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#3. Set aside some time for your partner.
The person who cheated needs time to realize how serious the error was, make plans to restore trust, and be strong enough to face the consequences. The other partner requires time to process what has occurred, vent, calm down, and decide whether or not to continue the relationship. Allowing each other some alone time can help close the gap.
#4. Express regret
You’re well aware that harm has been done, and that this has had an impact on both lives. The first step toward mending your relationship is to honestly admit your error. If your apology is sincere, your partner may be willing to move forward with your relationship and start a new chapter.
#5. Ignore the warning signs
If your friends have been telling you not to trust cheaters or that “a cheater will always be a cheater,” don’t take their advice lightly. You know more about your partner than anyone else. And if you believe the cheating incident was a one-time rash decision, you should give your partner a chance to change their ways.
#6. Listen to and address each other’s concerns.
It’s difficult to put your trust in someone who has previously betrayed you. Insecurities, doubts, and fears would arise on a regular basis. However, both partners must address each other’s fears in order to rebuild trust.
#7. Assign responsibilities to others
Even if one partner is to blame for infidelity, both partners must share the burden if the relationship is to be salvaged. When you’re together, you can help each other get through difficult times. Sharing is easier than putting all of the blame on one person. So, share everything, whether it’s accepting mistakes, setting new goals, or establishing new boundaries.
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#8. Keep the two As in mind.
In a romantic relationship, each partner seeks out the other’s attention and affection. A lack of any of these characteristics could be one of the reasons for cheating. If you missed them earlier in your relationship, you can focus on them in the second chapter. Do something that the other person enjoys to show your affection for each other. You should pay attention to your partner, whether or not they ask for it.
#9. Keep your defensive instincts in check.
When confronted with the reality of infidelity, the betrayed partner may become enraged, argue, and become defensive. This is a natural reaction, but it must be managed when attempting to repair the relationship. Instead of repairing your relationship, this quality could make it worse.
#10. Don’t take anything for granted in your relationship.
There’s a chance you’ll lose interest in the relationship after cheating, arguments, and disagreements. Even if the partner expresses a desire to continue, they may not be as enthusiastic as they once were. If you’re in a relationship because of family or societal pressures, there’s a slim chance it’ll work out.
#11. Consider physical intimacy.
This is one of the most difficult aspects of dealing with a cheating partner. While the cheating partner may be tired, the other partner may not initiate it because they are already hurt and rejected. While flirting isn’t always possible, try to relax a little and be sweet and possibly seductive if the mood strikes. But take your time and don’t rush it.
#12. Follow through on your promises
Infidelity makes having faith in the relationship, and even in yourself, difficult. You may be discouraged or have reservations about repairing the relationship. It’s up to you to persuade your partner that the cheating incident was an isolated incident and that you’re committed to making this relationship work.
#13. Do not delve into the past.
What has been done has been done. It’s not possible to undo what you’ve done. Instead of turning the pages of the previous chapters, it is better to make changes now for a better future. Digging up the past will only widen the gaps in your relationship and prevent you from moving forward. Try to repair the damage in a way that is beneficial to both of you.
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#14. Be considerate of your partner
Infidelity is undoubtedly a grave error, but it cannot erase a person’s good nature or noble deeds. You must respect each other when attempting to re-establish trust.
#15. Seek professional help.
You’ve given your relationship enough time, but you don’t seem to be getting anywhere with what you’re doing. Then you can seek help from a counselor. A therapist can serve as an objective third party who sees both points of view and assists the couple in understanding each other’s perspectives.
Love and trust are the foundations of all relationships. So, if your boyfriend betrays your trust and admits he cheated on you, the relationship may suffer. If your boyfriend admits his mistake he cheated and agrees to make amends, the relationship may be worth rekindling. They must put forth a great deal of effort and patience in order to re-establish trust.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do if my boyfriend cheated on me?
Here are a few key steps you can take together to help your relationship heal.
- Ascertain that there is remorse.
- Tell the truth about what happened.
- Remove any temptations to rekindle the relationship.
- Move forward with frankness and caution.
- Pick and choose who you tell.
- Working with a licensed therapist is a good idea.
Can I trust my boyfriend after he cheated?
It is, however, possible. In fact, recent studies show that 60 to 75 percent of couples stay together after an affair. However, you don’t want to stand out just for the sake of standing out. You want your relationship to be the same way it was before: loving and trusting.
Can a relationship work after cheating?
In practice, it’s rare for a relationship to survive instances of infidelity. According to one study, only about 16 percent of couples who had experienced infidelity were able to work it out.
How do you deal with a cheating boyfriend that you love?
7 Ways To Get Sweet Retaliation Against Your Cheating Boyfriend
- Completely cut him off.
- Get your heart pumping and your body moving.
- Make friends with the girl(s) with whom he cheated.
- Obtain the support of your family.
- Make his infidelity known to everyone.
- Consider dating one of his pals.
- Giving him the silent treatment is a good idea.