You know the popular saying “love at first sight” and “when you know, you know”. It sounds really exciting, right? But in the real world, these concepts further complicate the two theories of love and infatuation. General concepts like this confuse us. So what does it mean to be infatuated?
Infatuation is simply a very strong and intense feeling of attraction, fascination, and captivation you feel towards someone. But in this feeling of infatuation, you might not really know this person really well. However, the feeling is still intense. It just leans on more physical attractions and fantasies in general.
SIGNS OF INFATUATION
Basically, there are various signs that can help you know figure out that you are infatuated with someone. Some are;
1. You’re constantly thinking about this person. Your mind is always wandering. When this person becomes all you can think about then you are definitely infatuated. This is a clear sign.
2. Deep connections basically. Although, you haven’t had that a lot of real interactions or deep conversations with each other. But, you still feel extreme emotions or even get fidgety around them.
3. You feel vaguely “obsessed” with this person. Obsession and infatuation are synonymous. When you start longing for this person on end. And you are always daydreaming. Basically, you can just go “Mike was looking really hot today” or “I wonder what he’s doing right now, probably something cool”… This is another clear marker.
4. Physical attraction or intimacy. Generally, this connection is centered on your physical attraction to this person. Maybe she’s smoking hot and you are really longing for her. Basically, that is infatuation.
5. You don’t know the person that well on an actual personal level. Although, there is some sort of intensity. But you might not have even met them. Funny right? Infatuation feels like this basically. Trust me, I know how it feels. I was once infatuated with someone even before we met.
6. Most of what you know about the person is surface-level knowledge, basically based on appearance, or even based on their behavior in a group setting.
7. Generally, most of what you know about the person is probably hearsay or even social media, not from actual conversations or communications.
8. You fantasize about this person, despite not knowing them on a personal level yet.
9. You feel a little disappointed when the person doesn’t meet your expectations, or you shrug it off as just a fluke.
10. You ignore early signs of incompatibility that go against your fantasies.
11. Your blood is always pumping. You are basically overjoyed by the idea of “having” this person or being “chosen” by them. We’ve all been there.
There are a lot of signs basically; it can sometimes involve forming strong feelings for this person very quickly almost as if you knew instantly. Like a boat at high speed. Things are moving super quickly, and you’re hitting (or wanting to hit) relationship milestones as fast as possible.
INFATUATION VS. LOVE
The feeling of love is way more intense than an infatuation no matter how intense you might think the feeling of infatuation is. Although, the feeling of infatuation can be really extreme and intense. However, it happens really quickly and dies out just as quickly. In some cases though. But, love is a much deeper experience that is all about getting to know someone completely. It’s all about feeling bonded and close to someone, and caring about them in a way that’s both enduring and not necessarily centered on how they make you feel. Personally, I feel love is more than just a feeling or an emotion. Basically, it’s what we do regardless of how we feel. It is not self-serving but about willingness, sacrifice and/or compromise. But in the case, of infatuation, we can’t say the same thing.
DOES INFATUATION TURN INTO LOVE?
It does not necessarily turn to love. But, sometimes it stays just the way it is until the relationship comes to a close. Probably because the object of infatuation is now missing or the fantasy has died out. However, in very rare cases, infatuation can turn into love. But it can only be changed if you are ready to accept some other feelings that are not all typical with being infatuated. Infatuation basically entails sacrifice and compromise. Then yes, it can certainly turn into love.
CAUSES OF INFATUATION
Ok, let me give you a case scenario to best understand this. You just got into college, and you met a guy who is surprisingly handsome. But you’re a bit lost on your first day. And then that’s when he offers you help. Then he smiles at you and you feel euphoric just by looking at him. After that event, you guys have had quite a number of formal encounters.
Although, you might not know him personally. But this is what the feeling of infatuation is and mostly what causes it. Basically, it causes a chemical reaction in your brain because of the influx of emotions. You feel attracted, you want to see the person more and more and you would love to spend time with them. But it isn’t love. Eventually, you can even develop the tendency to move on to someone new. Infatuation can happen over and over again. That’s what it is.
HOW LONG DOES INFATUATION LAST?
Breakups and divorce nowadays take just about a minute. And, then on to the next one. Generally, for relationships born out of infatuation, it is very common. The true thing is that in these kinds of relationships are usually short-lived because they are based on feelings that are not real. Infatuation may last for a time as short as 15 minutes. However, in some cases, it can last for a year. Basically, it all depends on how long you stay confused about your feelings and consider infatuation to be love. If you are in such a relationship, ask yourself what you want your relationship to be based on. Not everyone wants to remain infatuated so how do you snap out of it?
HOW DO I SNAP OUT OF BEING INFATUATED QUICKLY
Although, it is wise to get over infatuation and look forward to a healthy relationship. However, it is easy to say but difficult to get rid of infatuation, but here are a few tips which you may find helpful to overcome infatuation;
#1. DEVELOP A SENSE OF DETACHMENT AND RESTRAINT:
Excessive attachment to this person is a hindrance to your peace of mind and when you are disturbed mentally, it would be really difficult for you to distinguish between right and wrong. Develop a sense of detachment with this person to whom you are infatuated to not only maintain peace of mind but also figure out the feasibility of a relationship with them. Also, it helps you have a clear mind and reasoning generally.
#2. MAINTAIN DISTANCE:
One thing you really have to understand is that infatuation is temporal in nature. If it is not fueled, it eventually fades way. Consciously distance yourself from the person for some time by moving away, ignoring them, or forcing yourself to not look at them or even think about them. Subsequently, you would find out that you are no longer infatuated.
#3. LOOK OBJECTIVELY:
You would always try to see the positive side of them and forget the negative aspects of their life when you are infatuated with someone. Basically, he/she looks perfect to you and that is not even possible. Because we all have negative as well as positive traits and qualities. Try to look objectively at the person and see them in totality with all the positive and negative qualities. Basically, it will help you to get over your infatuation.
#4. TRY NEW AND EXCITING AN INTERESTING HOBBIES:
Try engaging yourself in more interesting hobbies. This can help you enjoy the most of your life. At the initial stage, you would find it hard to forget the person in totality, but over the period of time, you would get over the infatuation.
Infatuation can make you feel anxious, nervous, jealous, impatient, and even frustrated. But, still, you cannot imagine life without the person. But, remember that this is all an illusion of your mind. You can get through this, trust me. Generally, life would be much better if you would enjoy the rewards of having a healthy relationship.
Why is infatuation bad?
Infatuation can put you under a powerful spell, which limits your ability to think and reason properly. It can make you act recklessly and out of control.
How can I control my feelings of infatuation?
Infatuation is fueled by time. That is the time you spend with the person. So if you want to control it, you would have to reduce contact.