A lot of people that suffer from anxiety in their relationships usually suffer from an anxious attachment style. As such a relationship either intimate or platonic that is usually intended to be for comfort, care and pleasure ends up being problematic. When dating a person with anxiety, the relationship is no longer that simple.
WHAT IS ANXIETY IN RELATIONSHIPS?
This is also known as relationship anxiety. Relationship anxiety is the increase of anxiety in intimate relationships. Although, it does not affect a lot of people. However, it is found in 1 out of every 5 persons. As such, it is not a recognized condition by some doctors. However, monitoring the symptoms can help you curb them before it gets serious.
There are other forms of anxiety though. Like;
1. Panic attacks
2. General anxiety etc.
10 ANXIETY IN RELATIONSHIPS SYMPTOMS
Researchers usually say that there are three notable symptoms. These symptoms help you understand your partner suffering from anxiety in your relationships. These signs are;
#1. Constant reassurance-seeking:
This is very common in people suffering from a social anxiety disorder, depression, and anxious attachment style. Reassurance is ok but when it is excessive, it gets disturbing.
Some researchers believe that seeking constant reassurance has to do with dependency. This is when you constantly need approval and evaluation from everyone around you. Although, being in a relationship with someone that has anxiety involves satisfying constant neediness. But the problem is, this constant evaluation does not always do it for them.
#2. Self-silencing:
A lot of people are terrified of getting rejected so instead of speaking up they shut down. Self-silencing becomes their defensive mechanism if you look at it. People get extra sensitive to rejection. They usually get so psyched when it comes to pleasing their partners. When their gestures are not accepted, they shut down and bottle everything in. This is often the start of anxiety in the relationship.
Making sacrifices to preserve your relationship is nice and all but not always at your own expense. This is what self-silencing does to a person.
#3. Partner accommodation:
How accommodating is your partner to your ideas and emotions? Although, to someone who has bagged a whole lot of confidence this does not matter. But to the anxious partner suffering from anxiety, it is a big deal.
#4. Vulnerability & Fear of Commitment
Commitment problems can arise as a result of a previous terrible experience or because you are not comfortable expressing your feelings. Some people find partnerships restrictive, and putting a name on them intensifies their uneasiness.
#5. Terminating Relationships Before They Develop Into Serious Relationships
You may have relationship anxiety if you find yourself cutting people off before the relationship becomes more serious, keeping potential pals at arm’s length, or indulging in self-sabotaging activities.
#6. Not Expressing Your Needs and Desires Out of Fear That They Will Leave
Healthy relationships are built on trust and honesty, and being hesitant to disclose your opinions can signal relationship anxiety.
#7. Casting Doubt on Your Partner’s Motives
Many people who suffer from relationship anxiety are always concerned that their spouse will “find someone better,” that their partner does not care for them, or that their partner will break up with them for small or non-existent reasons.
#8. Having doubts about your and your partner’s compatibility
You may begin to place more emphasis than required on your and your partner’s differences, such as having different tastes in music or movies, to the point where you spend more time worrying about those little differences than appreciating where you are compatible.
#9. Second-guessing Your Partner’s Words and Actions
Perhaps your partner prefers to limit public displays of affection or makes a joke about a quirky aspect of your personality; this may lead you to spend a lot of time reading into their actions and assuming that they don’t actually like you when they probably just have slightly different preferences than you or are simply attempting to engage or flirt with you.
#10. Spending More Time Worrying About the Relationship Than Enjoying It
It’s natural to feel insecure at times, but if you notice that you’re spending more time feeling insecure than joyful or content, this is a definite symptom of relationship anxiety.
HOW TO DEAL WITH ANXIETY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Ok, now you know you suffer from anxiety. How do you deal with it though?
1. Always look inward and reflect on yourself.
2. If your relationship is getting toxic, call a quit. You are more important.
3. Self-discovery helps you know what you want, understand your feelings and prioritize your happiness.
4. Avoid looking into the past, at least for now.
HOW TO INCREASE CONFIDENCE AND REDUCE ANXIETY IN RELATIONSHIPS
#1. Determine the Source of Your Anxiety
Is it dread? Have low self-esteem? Do you lack confidence? Shame? Assessing the source of your anxiety and making connections to earlier experiences or how you were raised might help you become more conscious. We may feel insecure at times because we lack trust in our capacity to select healthy partnerships for ourselves.
#2. Be Open and Honest About Your Emotions
While you may not want to communicate your sentiments at the height of your worry, doing so is essential. It has the potential to deepen the relationship and keep channels of communication open. Allow the individuals in your life who are supportive to enter your inner world.
#3. When Anxiety Levels Rise, Use Self-Soothing Techniques
Anxiety is frequently accompanied by physical symptoms such as high heart rate, chest tightness, or lightheadedness.
Improve your self-awareness by practicing body scanning techniques. Self-soothing techniques include deep breathing, guided meditation, yoga, or engaging in an activity that focuses on one of your five senses. When seeking anxiety solutions that work for you, don’t be hesitant to think outside the box.
#4. Work on establishing trust with those who are supportive.
Building trust in relationships is vital for maintaining strong ties, even if it is tough. Make time for the people who care about you. Trust is earned over time and through experiences, as well as through persistent, practiced behaviors.
#5. Address Disagreements or Conflicts of Opinion
When a relationship problem is not addressed, it can lead to resentment and the demise of the partnership. While conflict cannot be avoided, it is critical to manage and deal with it healthily. It may be tough to explain yourself at first, but begin by focusing on “I” statements and accepting responsibility for your role in the conflict.
#6. Recognize that your emotions are valid, but they are not always facts.
Emotions come and go without warning, and it is all too easy to draw unfavorable conclusions.
Give your relationships the benefit of the doubt and try to reframe negative thoughts in a more positive perspective. Rather than stating, “I always push people away and no one loves me,” say, “I attract love and people are drawn to my warmth and vitality.”
#7. Show Your Appreciation to the People Who Have Helped You
Reward those who have demonstrated real concern for you. Gratitude can boost your positivity and strengthen your emotional connection. Write down the positive parts of your connections and what you’re grateful for, while also noting the role that others have played in your tale.
#8. See a therapist to work through your thoughts and feelings.
Therapy is an excellent method to delve deeper and identify some of the negative thought patterns and experiences that may be contributing to your relationship anxiety. Therapy can be extremely beneficial since it provides you with a safe environment in which to work through your nervous feelings and acquire more understanding on how to identify and maintain a good relationship.
#9. Try Remaining Cheerful:
I know terrifying, but try to put a smile on that face. When you are cheerful and always happy, it increases your confidence and makes you trust in yourself more.
#10. Facts don’t lie:
A person with anxiety usually settles with facts that might not be true. Such facts give you this compulsive belief that you have to submit to a particular way or pattern in your relationship. Believe me, those things you think of yourself are just thoughts. They are not true. You are wonderful just as you are.
#11. Be conscious of your Body Language:
What energy do you give off? Neediness or constant fear? When recovering from anxiety in your past relationships, you have to watch the kind of energy you give off. This is very important. Your posture and facial expressions should depict confidence and willpower.
To find a therapist in your region, visit an online therapist directory to connect with a therapist with whom you feel comfortable speaking and with whom you can develop a trusting relationship. Remember, there is no shame in feeling this way, and sometimes the first step to healing is simply expressing the truth and asking for help.
SEPARATION ANXIETY IN TEENAGE RELATIONSHIPS
Well, separation anxiety in teenage relationships often has to do with teens suffering from a detachment from a particular person. Teenagers are used to getting hormonal flings. But many times they suffer from separation anxiety. Although, the supposed relationship might not necessarily have the proper boundaries to make them feel safe. But, they get attached living in a toxic relationship.
Teens that suffer from separation anxiety in their relationships are either;
1. Suffering from an anxious attachment style or
2. Suffering from an avoidant attachment style
In conclusion, feeling constant anxiety in your relationships or even past relationships, is unhealthy. So you have to always look out for yourself first. They say you can’t share the love you don’t have. So self-love is always important. Stop worrying. If you are seeking professional help, leave a comment below.
Anxiety In Relationships FAQ’s
Can anxiety make you question your relationship?
Even when things are going well in your relationship, relationship anxiety can cause you to wonder if you and your partner are compatible. You can also wonder if you’re truly happy or if you just think you are.
What does relationship anxiety feel like?
Self-silencing and obsessive reassurance-seeking are two symptoms of relationship anxiety. People who suffer from relationship anxiety may seek acceptance from their partners while also fearing rejection. These symptoms can have a long-term unfavorable impact on the connection.
Can being around someone with anxiety give you anxiety?
It’s true that tension from others can affect your own stress levels, which can have a negative impact on your health. According to a 2009 study published in the Public Library of Science, when people are stressed, they emit a chemical that can be inhaled by those around them, causing them to feel more anxious as well.
