Technology is amazing; bringing us together and allowing us to connect in more ways we ever thought possible. The big downside, however, to technology in the world of relationships is that it also makes cheating so much easier. We hardly have to lift a muscle! This has contributed to the recent spike in the rate of cyber cheating across the globe.
Well if you are in doubt as to what exactly cyber cheating means and all that comes with it, then you have come to the right place. This article covers, in detail, all you should know about the phrase.
Let’s set the ball rolling…
What Is Cyber Cheating?
It’s an act of cheating on your spouse or committed partner by having obnoxious relations online with someone else unnoticed by your spouse or partner. These relations may be social, financial, sexual, etc. but are always objectionable to your spouse or partner if he or she comes to know it. Notwithstanding these relations may be with the same gender or with the opposite one,
Also, it’s been defined as the exchanging of sexual photos, cybersex, online flirting, and watching online pornography. The American Psychological Association states that a cyber affair has brought more issues into homes than traditional affairs.
What Are the Signs of Cyber Cheating?
The following are some noticeable signs of cyber cheating;
Can’t Keep Away From Thier Phone
This is probably one of the obvious signs and may be the reason you suspect them in the first place. We are all attached to our phones more than required.
Oftentimes, they even find it difficult to lift their heads to watch their favorite show or even spend time with their partners.
Other times they claim to be busy with work on their phone; plus they’re more likely to leave the room so they can focus on what they are doing.
The Phone Is Always Locked
It’s completely normal to have a password on your phone. We all do right?
But it’s often nice if you knew your partner’s security code.
This is because it is something you share with someone you love.
Think about the times you wanted to take a quick photo with your partner’s phone for a couple of reasons. Or you probably wanted to research on a topic with their phones; because you a low battery.
There are so many reasons you might need to just pick up your partner’s phone and make use of it. But can you?
Whether he’s never told you his password, or he’s changed it all of a sudden and isn’t letting you on to the new one- it’s not a good sign.
Always Being by Themselves
In contrast to conventional cheating, where the partner has to make excuses for where they’ve been, for cyber cheating they don’t even have to leave home.
They might start coming to bed much later at night or getting up earlier in the morning.
They also might start finding excuses to sit in another room at night or be off doing things during the day or the weekends.
Basically, think of how much time used to you spend at the earlier stage and the time you spend together now.
Even if he’s still around just as much, are you spending quality time together?
Or rather are you waking up in the middle of the night to find your partner lying next to you on his phone.
This is a good indication that something is wrong. They’re trying to hide it from you by doing it at night.
There’s Always This Name That Rings a Bell
Another way to find out something is going on in the cyber world is when you notice the same name cropping up over their social media accounts.
If they keep cropping up from the same person, it could be a hint that cyber cheating is in play.
The comments! They might be innocent- no one wants to reveal them all over social media.
It can’t hurt to once again take a look at their social media profile to see who they are and where they fit into your spouse’s life.
You never know. It could be a family relative that you’ve never met who took a particular interest in their life.
Their Browser History Can Say a Whole Lot
Snooping could be an easy way to get to the bottom of your suspicions.
As we mentioned above don’t go snooping unless you’re ready to be open and honest about what’s going on. If you get caught, you have to be prepared for it to backfire.
After all, if you don’t have evidence that they’ve been cheating, you may have now broken their trust and potentially ruined a perfectly good relationship.
If you’re ready to go that extra mile and find out for sure, it’s snooping time.
Their browser history is a good indication of what they’ve been up to.
Check out what they’ve Googled recently, what sites they’ve visited, and want social media they’re on. You may even want to go a step further and check his/her messages and emails and see what’s come through.
Remember this is the point of no return in a relationship. So you want to be sure. Trust can be very difficult to build back.
They Always Miss This Call to Call Back Later
Do they leave once their phone rings?
During off-work hours they sneak into another room to pick their calls every night- Trust me it’s often not a work call. Despite what they say!
Generally, in situations like this, if it seems too obvious to go out to pick these calls, they intentionally miss the calls to return later.
No Longer in the Mood to Have Sex
Have a rethink of how your sex life used to be.
Now, how is it?
If they’re in a cyber relationship, it could go either of these ways:
- They could want more of it.
- They want to cut down on it.
Unlike a physical affair, there is unlikely to be any sex involved. This is what could lead them to want more sex than normal.
They’re getting turned on by this other person before coming to you to fulfill their needs.
On the other hand, they might be fulfilling their own needs with the other person on the other side of the screen. In this case, they may want less from you.
It’s important to compare your sex life to what it used to be in order to determine whether or not there has been a dramatic change.
Cyber Affair Cheating
Presently with the availability of chat rooms and groups on the internet websites, the temptation to meet new people online increases, according to chatcheaters.com, a Web site created to help couples struggling with internet infidelity and how to work through the problems.
Online relationships provide individuals with an outlet to tell secrets and express themselves to a stranger anonymously, while allowing for the creation of another persona, according to the probe ministries article.
Reasons Why it Happens
Once the honeymoon phase of marriage is over, couples sometimes get bored, begin to take each other for granted, and stop doing the nice things they did for each other before getting married.
When this happens, your partner becomes vulnerable and may seek affection and attention from someone else. The saying goes that “men are goal-oriented.” They can’t read (women’s) minds. According to experts,
“women should tell their husbands what they need. Most of the time, men just want to do what their wives need them to do. If a woman needs attention, she should tell her husband specifically what she wants.”
Cyber affair cheating, from both spouses, also occurs during military developments and temporary duty assignments away from home.
When cyber affairs occur during developments, it can happen for a number of reasons including loneliness, boredom, and so on.
Developments add stress to marriages and couples use separation as an excuse to cheat.
Some spouses also cheat for revenge. Their spouse may have violated their trust or there is resentment towards their partners.
How to Build Trust in a Relationship After Cyber Cheating
Cyber cheating could, in fact, be potentially worse than a physical affair. According to experts,
“There is a certain lack of responsibility that the cheating partner can take for this type of affair. They most likely had no direct contact with the external party, so they don’t have tangible way to understand the weight of it”.
But the question is how do you restore trust!
For starters, always talk about it.
When approaching your partner, it is important to also have some sort of proof of their actions. Having proof is vital, no matter the result. When unverified claims prove false, it is taken as an accusation and hurts trust within the relationship. When claims without evidence prove true, they can be denied. The cheating partner can return with other accusations, and make the inquiring partner become overly suspicious or crazy.
Recovering From Cyber Cheating
As long as both parties want to work through this problem together, the relationship is never too far gone. Both partners can work on restoring the relationship; if that is the end goal.
For the unfaithful partners, take responsibility you must tell yourself, no matter how mild you feel it is, that it was an affair. Own up to the fact that you betrayed your partner’s trust, and acknowledge and validate their feelings.
Understand that you must sacrifice some level of privacy. Give your partner 24/7 access to your phone, computer, and all accounts you have on any social platform. This will allow them to hold you accountable at all times, while also motivating you that being faithful is a decision you need to make.
And for the hurt partner! Be honest to tell your partners how their actions have made you feel. While they are the guilty party, try to avoid accusatory statements and stick to communicating your reactions and feelings.
Furthermore, be open to forgiveness. If you have collaboratively established the end goal of restoring the relationship, be open to forgiving. As you need time to process the events, you don’t need to forgive immediately. But if you are going into these conversations with no intention of ever forgiving your partner, then you will find them to be unfruitful and a waste of time.
Cyber Cheating FAQs
Can you forgive cyber cheating?
It’s generally not a good idea to forgive if internet infidelity has been an issue in the past, and you’ve already stated how much it bothers you and how you won’t stand for it. Don’t forgive someone who does the same thing over and over again, especially if that behavior has created serious issues in the past.
Is cyber cheating grounds for divorce?
Despite the fact that virtual cheating does not entail physical contact, courts may determine that virtual connections that degrade the marital relationship are grounds for divorce. When online infidelity plays a significant role in the breakup of a marriage, it may be considered adultery.
Is cyber flirting cheating?
This is clearly cheating if you are in a committed relationship with someone else. Online flirting is the same as kissing or sleeping with someone who isn’t your significant other. All of these represent a breach of the trust that is necessary for a healthy relationship to thrive.