BEST MAN SPEECH: How to write one in 7 steps(+Free Templates)

Best man speech

There’s always a lot of pressure and tension when it comes to writing a best man speech. And with different questions like “What should I write and how to deliver It?” flocking around your mind, let’s unravel the mystery behind a very cool best man speech.

How to Write a Best Man Speech in 7 Steps

A best man speech can be whatever you want it to be, either heartfelt or funny or even a little of both as it best depicts your personality. Most times it’s spontaneous to “wing it” but it is safer to be prepared.

  1. Always start by expressing your gratitude. Express how you feel it an honour to be giving the speech.
  2. Talk about your relationship with the groom or bride. You can choose to lay little emphasis on the relationship and the journey of friendship leading to this particular event.
  3. Focus on the couple’s relationship and not solely on your own. This is always where humor is usually introduced in the speech. You free to make jokes on the couple’s relationship like quarrels before she finally said yes. You can as well decide to make a little heartfelt but not too cliché.
  4. Remember to always keep it short. No one wants to listen a long boring story at a wedding. Keep it short, thrilling and fun.
  5. Take your time to write it all down. This is not extremely important but at some point chances are, we may get nervous. So it’d be probably safer if you write it down.
  6. Don’t drink beforehand. Yes I know the booze can be really tempting but let’s just wait till after the speech.
  7. End it all with a toast and a congratulatory remark. Basically, it’s been fun but don’t forget to make a toast to the newlyweds. You don’t want to seem rude.

Best Man Speech Tips

David Litt (the speechwriter for President Barack Obama from 2011 to 2016 and is the author of the New York Times best-selling book) shares his best advice for drafting and delivering your best man speech.

Consider Your Audience

You can’t give a great speech if you don’t know who to address it to.

“Please feel free to inquire ahead of time. Your point of contact is most likely a buddy who is getting married. However, the finest part about giving a best man speech is that it should be both unique to you and universal to the couple “Litt says.

After you’re done, guests should feel like they know you a little bit and the couple really well.

Decide on a Theme

A theme is a recurring notion that runs across the entire speech. Consider it your speech’s takeaway, the one thing you want your audience to remember afterward. Making a list of your favorite stories is the best method to figure out what your topic is.

“You’re not going to make up a speech on the spot. Begin by generating ideas for stories. Most essential, you’re looking for a common thread that emerges from the anecdotes “Litt agrees.


“I would almost never begin by expressing how nervous you are. I’d also advise you to unwind. That’s a difficult thing to tell someone, but to put it another way: You’re not putting on a show “Litt says. “You’re merely discussing your closest friend and their life partner, two people with whom you’ve likely spent a lot of time. It should just flow and come out naturally in the end.” “Imagine you’re just sharing a story to a group of friends because, actually, you are,” Litt says.

Keep Your True Self in Mind

You don’t have to change who you are or how you act with your friends just because you’re giving a speech; you don’t have to adopt a persona simply to give a speech. For instance, if you aren’t usually the group’s comedian, don’t try to crack a bunch of jokes. If you’re not naturally sentimental, don’t force it—there’s nothing wrong with being more lighter in your speech. Plus because the couple already knows (and likes) your personality, the more real you are, the more well-received your speech will be by both the newlyweds and their guests.

Don’t Rely Only on a Sense of Humour

While a few jokes thrown in here and there can help to ease up the crowd, don’t make them the centerpiece of your toast—especially if humor isn’t your thing.

Maintain an Optimistic Attitude

Don’t turn the toast into a roast or make jokes about the couple, even if you think it’s well-intentioned.

“‘Oh, my duty is to roast the groom,’ I’ve heard someone say during a best man speech. That is not your job unless the couple specifically told you it is. When it comes to jokes, keep in mind that you don’t want people laughing at the groom or the pair. You want everyone to be laughing because they’ve suddenly learned more about the groom than they had previously “Litt says.

Get a Second Opinion on Your Decision

Keep in mind that you’ll be giving this toast in front of an audience (as if you’d forgotten, right?). So it’s not a bad idea to obtain some feedback on what you’re about to say. “If you have a history of going overboard with your surprises, you should be self-aware enough to run this by a third party—perhaps another close friend or a bridesmaid’s friend,” Litt advises.

At the end of the day, you want to make sure both the groom and bride are satisfied.


Standing up and giving a speech you’ve never given before is the last thing you want to do. “Practicing with a friend is the finest way to go. Anyone who is giving major speech practices beforehand. If you’ve previously received positive feedback from field-testing your remarks with a smaller group, you’ll be confident that you’ll deliver a fantastic speech on the wedding day.

Keep It Brief

Let’s be honest here: Guests are irritated by excessively extended wedding toasts. “‘That was a fantastic wedding, but the best man speech was simply too short and that spoiled it,’ I’ve never heard anyone say that at a wedding. Five minutes is the absolute maximum, in my opinion. Three minutes should suffice. There’s no doubt that if you’re reading this, you’ve sat through an excessively long speech. When composing a speech, though, you almost never wonder to yourself, “Is this going to be too long?” “Litt explains.

Drink in Moderation

Don’t make a fool of yourself by slurring your toast. “For some people, having one drink is sufficient, but having more than one drink is never a smart idea. When you’re like, ‘You know what I’m looking for?’ ‘A couple more shots.’ That is never what you need”Litt recommends.

Best Man Speech Example

…Isn’t the bride just so pretty? Look at that smile. She’s the perfect example of grace, poise, and of course brains and she deserves only the best in the market and she has found one. Aren’t we all glad she said yes? Thankfully, (Groom’s name) you caught a good one. Finally, we’ve found her, the only woman that could tame you. (Groom’s name), remember when you chased her around the neighborhood but today she’s has agreed to be the little firecracker for your kids. Cheers to the bride and groom everyone…

Best Man Speech for Brother

…It's really is an honor that you chose me to give this speech. Well, we’ve all come a long way and we’ve been through a lot as kids. I always thought (Groom’s name) was the meanest brother but eventually, I understood him. (Bride’s name) he’s everything you could want as a husband, a partner, and a father.  Life teaches a lot and I hope you learn, hope, grow together and subsequently build a home that my god kids would cherish. Cheers to the best friend, brother, and pal a guy could ever need…

Best Man Speech Template

Good day everyone, I’d like to say thank you to (groom’s name) for warming up the crowd with his (brief/kind) words about his new wife (bride’s name) and her bridesmaids. I was (shocked/honored/surprised) when (groom) asked me to be his best man, but here I am. And where do I begin? I first met (groom) when we were (a state where you guys met), where almost immediately became the best of friends. (if that's true). Since then we have grown intellectually together and have not forgotten the (parties/drinks/ holidays etc). Although it was very hard at first, when (groom) met (bride), which ended up being one of the best things that ever happened to him and now the rest is history. Please join me as we make a toast to the happiness and love of this sweet couple.

Writing the best speech doesn’t seem so hard anymore right, just remember to have fun when doing it.

Best Man Speech FAQs

Can you have two best men?

There’s no need to pick just one individual to accompany you. In reality, having two best men is not only etiquette-compliant, but it’s also the most convenient way to commemorate two significant persons in your life.

Is it OK to read a wedding speech?

Because not everyone is comfortable speaking in public, experts say it’s fine to carry notes as long as you know your script. The most important thing is to express your affection for the couple.

What does the best man pay for?

The best person is in charge of assisting the groom in selecting and renting (or purchasing) wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groom’s people’s rentals. If the wedding is more casual, they may be able to assist guests in finding attire online or in a store.

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