Is your husband’s intimacy lacking in your marriage? Do you have a loveless marriage? Living in a marriage with no intimacy from the husband is a heavy burden to bear! This begs the question, what is no husband intimacy in marriage?
According to The Social Organization of Sexuality, a sexless marriage (no intimacy in marriage) is one in which couples do not engage in sexual activity or have few sexual encounters. The consequences for husband and wife include a lack of emotional connection, conflicts, relationship dissatisfaction, and even a proclivity to commit infidelity in marriage.
What is Intimacy in Marriage?
Mutual love, sharing, and openness are characteristics of intimacy. A cozy relationship between two people who are easily vulnerable to each other. There are numerous reasons for a husband’s lack of intimacy in a marriage, including menopause, age, hormonal issues, and sexual dysfunction.
Marriage without sex can pose a threat to a relationship because physical intimacy is an essential component of a relationship. However, it is even more difficult to figure out how to survive a husband’s lack of intimacy in marriage. Intimacy problems are not uncommon, and they can be difficult to deal with or awkward to address.
There are many couples who struggle with a lack of intimacy in their marriage. There are marriages that thrive in the absence of sex, intimacy, and romance. However, these are the characteristics that distinguish a husband and wife relationship from all other familial ties.
Sex and intimacy are essential for sustaining a healthy marriage, and the effects of a lack of sex in a marriage can be disastrous. Intimacy refers to the close, connected feelings that partners develop with one another over time, as well as the physical and emotional bond that exists in healthy relationships.
Are you in no Intimacy in Marriage from your Husband?
If you have drifted into such a marriage but aren’t sure if it’s right to keep it under control lest it backfires, you can always look for certain signs of lack of intimacy to help you identify the problem. Check out these indicators that your marriage is lacking in sex:
- Constant sense of disconnection
- Comfortable without sex for extended periods of time
- Neither of you flirts frequently.
- You hardly ever touch each other.
- Prioritize your work schedule over spending time with your partner.
- Either one of you or both of you make fun of the other’s fantasies/sex drive.
Effects of Living in No Intimacy Marriage from Husband
Being in a marriage without sex means that you both (husband and wife) lose a lot of connection and intimacy. The relationship may appear to be healthy on the surface, but there may be discomfort and problems lurking beneath the surface, which will only worsen in the long run.
So, how does it feel to be in a marriage that lacks intimacy? The effects affected both husband and wife in a variety of ways, both similar and dissimilar. The consequences of a lack of intimacy in a marriage can be disastrous. Intimacy in marriage, whether from the husband or the wife, can be a major source of anxiety and frustration for both.
How does a No Intimacy (Sexless) in Marriage Affect Husband?
The effect of a sexless marriage on husbands is unavoidable. A man’s insecurities can be triggered by a lack of sex, and this can have a long-term negative impact on his self-confidence.
Many men, for example, have unconsciously established standards for themselves that define their sexual role. His self-esteem and ego are inextricably linked to his ability to deliver for his partner. A withdrawn husband may be deeply engrossed in a thought or project, or he may be stressed about a work problem. When he’s finished thinking about it, he’ll return to his wife and give her his full attention.
How does a No Intimacy (Sexless) in Marriage Affect Wife?
On the other hand, the wife may experience a sexless marriage effect. A lack of intimacy in marriage can be just as damaging for women–though not always in the same way.
Women are more likely to connect on an emotional level, whereas men are more likely to connect on a physical level.
This is not to say that sex isn’t an emotional experience for men, or that women don’t get physical pleasure from it. It is about various social programming.
A woman who has been socialized to nurture may experience a lack of love and intimacy in her marriage. When her partner appears less affectionate or withdrawn. This is due to the fact that women associate affection with love and a woman would only withdraw affection if something went wrong.
How common is No intimacy in marriages from Husband (s)?
You are not alone if you believe you are in this type of marriage. Most couples believe that intimacy fades with time, despite the fact that it is one of the most important aspects of marriage as couples grow older. This should not be the case, especially if one of the partners is bothered by the lack of sex.
Intimacy is an important foundation for sustaining a relationship over time. It allows the partners to have an unspoken vent, which only serves to strengthen the bond.
According to the study, a sexless marriage is one in which sex occurs less than once a month or less than ten times per year, and nearly 29 percent of relationships can be sexless. Age has an impact on a person’s inability to have sex. To be more specific:
- One-eighth of such couples are under the age of 30.
- One-quarter of such couples are in their thirties.
- 28% of such couples are in their forties.
- 36% of such couples are in their 50s.
- 47 percent of such couples are over the age of 60.
Reasons of No Intimacy In Marriage (husband)
Couples may split up for a variety of reasons. Here are a few factors that can contribute to a decrease in sex drive between partners:
1. Refraining from Sex in Marriage
Withholding sex in marriage can be motivated by a lack of affection or an attempt to express frustration or anger. It can be a reason for many manipulative partners to punish their partners, and it counts- as a form of emotional abuse.
Most couples experience a breakdown in their relationship after childbirth, particularly when it comes to sex. Breastfeeding, body changes, and exhaustion are just a few of the reasons why there is no intimacy in marriage (husband) after childbirth.
3. Substance Abuse or Dependence
When one of the partners is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it can be difficult for the relationship to survive because it becomes toxic and one partner suffers alone. As a result, it has the potential to destroy intimacy.
4. Sexual stumbling blocks or regressive attitudes toward sex
It can be difficult for a couple to communicate effectively if their sexual thoughts do not match or if one of them has regressive sexual thoughts. They may not match on multiple levels and thus lose the spark.
There are two possibilities. If one of the partners is cheating on the other, that partner may lose interest in their spouse. On the other hand, if one partner has engaged in infidelity and the other partner discovers it, the marriage may suffer.
6. Chronic Illness
A partner’s illness, for obvious reasons, can cause the couple to take an unwelcome break from sex in the relationship. In this case, one partner will also be involved in caring for the other, which can be a valid reason for the lack of sex in the relationship.
7. A Sexually Traumatic Past
If one of the partners has a history of sexual problems or has had a traumatic experience, it is natural for them to avoid sex because it has been the source of their pain in the past.
8. Inadequate Work-Life Balance
There could be a variety of reasons, such as a lack of time for sex. This is true, and it exists. If one or both partners are too busy for leisure or quality time together, it can be detrimental to the relationship as a whole.
9. Unresolved Grievance
Did your partner harbor any resentment toward you in the past that hasn’t been resolved? You might think everything is fine, but beneath the surface, there could be long-standing grief. It’s time to talk about it with your partner or go to therapy.
Being uncomfortable with your partner (husband and wife) can also be a major cause of a lack of intimacy in marriage. This can be problematic if you and your partner are not comfortable discussing or having sex with each other.
Any type of stress, whether work-related or family-related, can harm your relationship. This is due to the fact that stress can draw your full attention. It can also lead to emotional breakdowns on multiple occasions.
12. Mental Health Issues
If a person has a mental health problem, such as depression, they need support from their partner, as well as the appropriate therapy and medication. Couples must prioritize emotional intimacy during this time.
13. Important Partner
If one partner is critical or makes fun of the other, the other partner may withdraw from any form of intimacy. If the issue is not discussed openly, it can be a great marriage killer in the long run and lead to divorce.
It is possible that boredom has crept into the relationship and that one or both partners have drifted apart. Boredom usually occurs when spouses stop paying attention to each other or stop putting forth effort.
15. Irrational Expectations
Each partner in a couple (husband and wife) should keep their own expectations in check because it adds unnecessary pressure to the relationship. This can also cause dissatisfaction between partners, which they may not express to one another. As a result, this chasm can be the source of a lack of intimacy in a marriage.
Still, wondering what are the factors responsible for the lack of intimacy in marriage?
Talking to a sex therapist who specializes in relationship and sexual challenges can help you stay on top of your sex life. A sex counselor or therapist can assist you in determining a definitive answer to the question “how to overcome no intimacy in marriage due to husband issues.”
Can a No Intimacy Marriage Survive?
This is a very valid question for marriages that have been sexually inactive for a long time. Marriage without sex is uncommon, and learning how to survive a sexless (no intimacy) marriage is difficult. Even in cultures where marriages are strictly utilitarian; engaged in for the purpose of economy, religion, or duty, sex and intimacy are often still integral in these situations; as a duty of a wife to her husband, and vice versa.
Though it may appear strange, it is actually quite smart and sensible – the people of these cultures acknowledge the undeniable existence of their basic primal urges, and whether for the purpose of procreation or not, they support one another in this area as well. In marriage, a lack of intimacy means a loss of connection, which is what marriage is all about.
How to deal with a Marriage that lacks Intimacy
This may be an unfair question; essentially, the question asks how to do more with less. Coping with a lack of intimacy in a marriage is akin to a plant trying to survive without water. Coping with a lack of sex necessitates first determining when you stopped having sex in marriage. Is a marriage that lacks physical intimacy even a marriage? We’re not referring to the natural ebb and flow of things when intimacy increases and decreases.
We’re talking about a complete lack of sexual marital intimacy, or a marriage devoid of passion and intimacy. A plant without water may still have green leaves, may enjoy the sun’s rays, and may even be alive, but the truth is that it is droopy and lethargic, sad, and has lost its vibrancy.
Do marriages that lack intimacy end in divorce?
Is it possible for a marriage to survive without sex?
Over time, sex and romance in marriage fade away, and couples (husband and wife) stop making an effort. They unconsciously contribute to sex without realizing or being aware that a lack of intimacy is the cause.
A good marriage necessitates effort. Affectionate alienation or abandonment can lead to divorce. According to reports, more than 16% of couples have abandoned sex or, in other words, have no intimacy in marriage.
Lack of sex can also be an indicator of other issues in the marriage. You must, however, be aware of when to leave such a marriage. When you should consider a divorce from your sexless marriage, consider the following:
- The moment your partner refuses to cooperate in resolving the problem
- When your sexual preferences are diametrically opposed.
- Aside from sex, there are other major issues in marriage.
- Because of infidelity, your marriage is sexless.
Tips to address and fix a No Intimacy in Marriage for Husband and wife
Being in a state where there is no intimacy in marriage from either the husband or the wife is always dreadful. Most partners realize it gradually as the sex diminishes and occurs only once a month or less frequently.
It can become frustrating, or partners may become complacent (as roommates do), or both. A sexless marriage has a negative impact on the husband, but it is even worse for the wives. In any case, a marriage like this has deep-seated issues that must be identified and addressed.
So, how do you get through a sexless marriage? If you are in a marriage that lacks intimacy, here are a few things you can do to improve your marriage’s intimacy:
1. Discuss the problem
Inquire about your own and your partner’s origins. Communicate with your partner to figure out what caused your relationship to fail. A constructive discussion will assist you both in determining a solution.
2. Know each other’s needs
Discuss your requirements openly with one another. It is possible that your sexual interests and those of your partner do not coincide. This can be resolved by informing each other of your mutual interests.
3. Avoid playing the blame game.
Don’t hold your spouse responsible for the situation. It may not always be your partner’s fault. Consider your role in this, as well as how your reactions or inactions may have contributed to the fight.
4. Make use of ‘I’ statements
Use ‘I’ statements rather than ‘You’ statements, and avoid becoming angry or blaming your partner.
“I” statements can be useful in clarifying your feelings to your partner because they focus on the specifics without equivocation.
5. Assurance of practice
Tell each other that you will both make a commitment to resolving your intimacy issues. Sometimes assurance can be extremely beneficial in maintaining a peaceful relationship. So, keep telling each other that you’re doing your best while putting in the effort.
6. Small acts of kindness
When a relationship is on the rocks, small acts of intimacy can help get things back on track. Begin by holding hands, looking each other in the eyes, and making physical contact. This will also ensure that your partner understands your efforts.
7. Long-distance romance
Even if your marriage is long-distance, you can do your part to make it work. Send each other romantic texts during the day, when you are both at work; express how much you miss them and how much you can’t wait to get back home.
8. Spending quality time
When there is no longer any intimacy in a relationship, focus on spending quality time with each other. Talk to each other, cuddle while watching a movie together, share a delicious meal, take a bath together, or massage each other.
Once committed, people frequently take themselves for granted. They are unconcerned about self-care. Take good care of your health and appearance. Maintain your fitness and appearance.
10. Avoid being clingy.
Stop being clingy and whining. Nobody is drawn to someone like that. Instead, pursue your hobbies and passions and cultivate your own interests. Certain boundaries are required.
11. Discuss your fantasies
Don’t be afraid to tell your spouse about your fantasies. Be daring and keep discovering new things that will keep you both in awe from time to time.
12. Detox once in a while
Your relationship should be detoxed. This means putting aside bitterness, anger, and resentment and beginning to treat each other with love, kindness, and affection. If you notice any tension in your marriage, simply discuss and resolve the problem.
13. Forgive one another
In your marriage, practice forgiveness. Forgiveness in a relationship is proof that it can be repaired no matter what. It allows time for the relationship to heal and grow stronger.
14. Make extra efforts
To make a relationship work, you must sometimes step outside of your comfort zone. Make an effort to love and serve your partner, and your sexless relationship will soon be a thing of the past.
15. Sexual games
Take part in sex games. Add some fun and laughter to your sex life by playing creative adult games. This will also assist couples in understanding each other’s intimate language. Strip Twister, Scavenger Hunt, Dirty Jenga, Find the Honey, and other games are examples.
16. Distribute everything
Couples, without a doubt, have an intimate relationship, which is why they must share all of their joys and sorrows with one another. In fact, this is the bare minimum that both partners will expect. So, let’s celebrate the small victories together.
17. Marriage retreat
Participate in a marriage retreat. This can be a great distraction from daily life, and the couple will have enough time to focus on each other and revitalize their relationship.
Weekends and holidays should be planned. This will allow you to get to know each other better. You don’t have to travel to far-flung and expensive locations; even small picnics together can suffice.
19. Pay attention to characteristics.
Understand why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Consider the past and recall the times when you were enamored with each other. Bring those memories back into your present and future.
20. Seek assistance
Seek professional help. Professional experts can assist you in understanding your problems and guiding you in resolving them together.
What to do when sex is simply not possible
However, there are couples who have a sexless relationship and want to take baby steps toward building intimacy without sex first, and then find an answer to the question, “how to fix a sexless marriage.” Also, sex isn’t always possible. Sexual issues such as erectile dysfunction, sexual pain disorders, sexual arousal disorders, and pelvic floor dysfunction, to name a few, can all contribute to a lack of sex.
So, how do the two of you maintain intimacy in the absence of sex?
- Walking or talking while holding hands to maintain intimacy and closeness
- Following the touching ritual, explore potentially erotic areas of each other’s bodies.
- Participating in a couple’s activity such as learning a dance form or taking a cooking class together.
- Establishing relationship objectives to foster closeness.
- Enrolling in a reputable marriage course online to help you restore the health of your relationship.
- Making inside jokes with your partner to bring back the fun to your marriage.
There is no intimacy in marriage from the husband; all that is required is work and attention, as well as the correct approach to problem-solving. When both partners identify and discuss the problem, a solution is not far away. Do you want to know how to survive a marriage with no intimacy? Well! You now have your answers.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is my husband not intimate with me?
Many factors could be influencing his sex drive, including an undiagnosed medical condition, a medication side effect, a hormonal imbalance, stress, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, or even problems in your marriage that he hasn’t brought up.
How long can a marriage last without intimacy?
A sexless marriage’s lack of intimacy can be painful and frustrating. A sexless marriage can be defined in a variety of ways. According to some experts, it happens when spouses haven’t been intimate in 6 to 12 months.
Is lack of intimacy grounds for divorce?
A sexless marriage may be grounds for divorce for some people, depending on how important sex is to them and how much effort the couple has put into resolving the issue. There is no such thing as “normal” or “healthy” sexual desire or activity, so if it’s working for both people, there’s nothing to change or be concerned about.