HOW TO START A RELATIONSHIP: Babysteps for Newbies & Pros (What You Need)


Any new relationship is usually a lot of fun at first. Consider this: Someone you like and has the same feelings as you. What could be more satisfying than that, right? Even if both parties are emotionally on the same page, it’s still crucial to maintain decorum since, no matter how much you love each other, there are some proper and incorrect ways to start any new relationship that can ruin the whole affair.

It’s natural to experience tremendous emotion and attraction for the person you’re seeing, but being so enthralled may allow you to overlook possible warning flags, such as a misalignment of your underlying beliefs and values. We spoke with Kelly Campbell, Ph.D., a psychologist, and relationship specialist, to get her opinions on the matter and some advice on how to start a new relationship.

How to Start a Relationship with a Guy

Starting a new relationship can be terrifying, especially if you have no idea what to anticipate. There is no way to forecast or assume what another person wants, so concentrate on what you want to receive out of the relationship. Starting something new can be intimidating, but there’s nothing to be afraid of—just focus on being as honest and upfront with the guy you’re interested in as possible. Here are some pointers on how to start a relationship with a guy:

#1. Concentrate on what you like best about a guy.

Consider what gets you going, whether it’s a physical trait or something more emotional. Keep an eye out for individuals who exhibit many of the qualities you value, as this will help you decide who would be a good prospect for a potential relationship.

#2. Look for signals that the guy wants to start a relationship.

Look for simple gestures from him, such as holding the door or saving you a seat somewhere. While these actions can be attributed to chivalry, they could also indicate that a guy wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you.

#3. Look for new life experiences rather than looking for yourself.

Try not to use the excuse of “finding yourself” too frequently—while taking time to recharge is vital, don’t use this time to give up on establishing a new relationship. Instead, even if you’re frightened, strive to put yourself out there. You might be astonished at how many opportunities exist for you!

#4. Be aware of any red flags that the individual emits.

Keep an eye out for obvious turn-offs, such as someone with a rude personality or acting disrespectfully toward your boundaries. While there’s nothing wrong with seeing the best in people, don’t let optimism cloud your judgment. It can be difficult to let go of a potential relationship, but it is always preferable to wait for someone who will treat you properly.

#5. Ask him what he likes in a partner.

See if you both have any similar turn-ons, or if you’re compatible with one another in some way. If you both don’t have much in common, you can save yourselves a lot of trouble by being open about your likes and dislikes in a potential partner.

#6. Stay confident in your own identity and interests.

Don’t strive to be a carbon copy of the guy’s beliefs and hobbies; this will come across as dishonest and will eventually turn him off. Instead, express your dissatisfaction with whatever your partner has to say.

#7. Look for nonverbal cues he’s giving off.

Check to see if he’s crossing his arms or refusing to look you in the eyes—these could be signals that he’s shutting down or isn’t interested in what you’re talking about.

#8. Gradually reveal information about yourself.

Trust is an essential component of any relationship, but it does not come easily. Allow your relationship to blossom and strengthen during the first few days and weeks. As you become more acquainted, you might start to reveal more about yourself.

How to Start a Relationship with a Girl

You’re about to learn how to start a relationship with a girl or woman by being her clear option, so she picks you above all the other males following her. These are just tried-and-true techniques you may start right now to entice the girl you want into a relationship and make her your girlfriend.

#1. Give up on attempting to find a girlfriend.

The first step in developing a relationship with a female is to give up. Instead, approach every new interaction with a woman with the expectation of receiving nothing in return. You’ll be astonished at how “not giving a shit” about the outcome attracts girls.

#2. Get her attention.

Wear apparel and jewelry that attracts women and helps you start up a discussion. Leather coats, jewelry, and tailored suits are excellent places to start. You might even consider getting that tattoo you’ve always wanted.

#3. Prepare to approach her.

Get rid of any additional excuses that are holding you back before approaching her. For example, if you’ve never had a girlfriend, you could assume she won’t be interested in you.

#4. Approach her with assurance.

It’s time to approach her now that you’re ready. Smile, relax your body language, and approach in a non-confrontational manner as if you were asking a shelf stacker where the butter is in Walmart.

#5. Genuinely compliment her.

Tell her why you approached her and be as clear as possible. Use the first thing you observed about her that drew you to her. Perhaps it’s her adorable smile, her dimples, or if you see her frequently, the fact that her hair is tied back for the first time.

#6. Pay attention to her throughout the conversation.

Pay attention to her and make her the focus of your conversation. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to tease her, and you’ll never run out of conversation subjects.

#7. Get her phone number.

When you believe the talk has reached a climax, make reasons to leave and grab her phone number.

#8. Invite her out on a date.

Don’t strive to accomplish everything in a single text. First, pique her interest, comfort, and excitement about meeting up with you, and then ask her out on a date.

#9. Start the date by complimenting her.

Women often spend hours picking out a dress, applying make-up, and styling their hair for their first date. She has done everything for you; don’t forget to express your gratitude with honest praise.

#10. Set ambitious goals for yourself.

Having high expectations of others conveys to them that you are a high-status someone who is not a pushover. This is appealing to women because it demonstrates that you appreciate and love yourself. You are confident in yourself and determined to achieve your goals.

#11. Be yourself to make her like you.

You may not realize it, but the reason you’ve been stuck on how to start a relationship with a girl is that you’re not yourself around the ladies you like.

#12. Make it formal.

When you’re dating a girl you like, it’s tempting to fall into the “let’s solidify things” trap and try to make things verbally official. This is how it works: You start feeling for a girl and want to spend more time with her. Your attachment to that future with her grows in tandem with your love for her.

You want to start a relationship with her and make her your girlfriend, but you begin to start nervous and insecure around her. And you start to feel possessive.

How to Start a Relationship Slowly

Continue reading to find out how to start a relationship slowly and steadily while keeping the pleasure alive.

#1. Don’t be frightened to be vulnerable.

When we first start a relationship, it’s natural to throw up our guard in the hopes of not being wounded. It can be frightening at first to consider opening up to someone or allowing someone to get to know us on a more intimate level. Fears and the agony of past injuries will inevitably arise. These emotions can manifest as nervousness or a desire to slam on the brakes.

#2. Avoid playing games

It’s far too easy to engage in typical socially acceptable types of game-playing that have infiltrated the dating world. These games usually contain restrictions such, as “Don’t respond to his text.” “Don’t give him the impression that you’re desperate,” or “Don’t call her for at least three days.” Make her believe other individuals are interested in you.”

#3. Don’t pay attention to your inner critic

It’s typical to hear all kinds of critical inner voices while starting a relationship. The critical inner voice is a self-destructive thought process that feeds our fears and undermines our self-esteem. When we first start dating someone, we tend to listen to this “voice” a lot. We can think to ourselves, “I can’t believe you just said that.” “You sound like a moron!” “She doesn’t even like you,” for example.

#4. Consider what you are truly drawn to.

One difficult component of beginning a relationship is that we aren’t always drawn to individuals for the correct reasons. When we become involved with someone, there are several questions we should ask ourselves to avoid repeating negative patterns from our past. To begin, we can ask ourselves, “Does this individual remind me of someone from my past?” Could his or her personality match patterns or dynamics from my childhood or a past relationship? “

#5. Inquire whether he or she possesses the characteristics of an excellent companion.

As we consider what attributes to avoid in a partner in a relationship, we should also consider what qualities to seek in a partner in a relationship. A good spouse is emotionally mature, honest, communicative, open to feedback, interested in our views and feelings, independent, respectful, equal, compassionate, physically affectionate, and witty. This may appear to be a lengthy list, but they are fundamental qualities that, in the long run, count more than anything else. Being able to trust our partner is essential for sustaining long-term love in a relationship.

How to Start a Relationship Long Distance

Here’s how I started my long-distance relationship and why you should do the same if you find someone special in another part of the world.

#1. You Must Be Vulnerable

Aside from the money and time required to fly for your first, second, or third date, there is also an emotional barrier: you must accept that you truly, really like someone. extremely early on When I first started dating, I had a lot of preconceived notions about what it meant to be so invested in a relationship so quickly: that you’re desperate, that you’re not desirable enough to find someone in your own country, that you’re really just in love with the idea of the person, and so on.

#2. Technology is on your side

The amount of time you can spend conversing should not be one of the restrictions of long-distance relationships. WhatsApp, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, and Skype are all free and equally excellent alternatives to SMS and phone calls.

#3. Purchase your tickets as soon as possible

When you’re in a new relationship and don’t know when you’ll see each other again, the future of the relationship can look grim. Even booking plane tickets for months in advance reassures you both that you’re still dating, even if you haven’t gone on a date in weeks.

#4. Master the art of the love letter

Some people argue that some interactions are better in person, but others are better over text or email. My partner and I find it simpler to open up than to write, and some of our most poignant messages, including the one that prompted him to travel for our first date, have occurred via email.

#5. However, make sure you check in via voice.

The same openness that has allowed us to express our feelings for each other via email has also led to some of our most heated arguments. After exchanging angry emails for a day, I called my partner, and we instantly apologized and laughed about how we wished we were fighting in his apartment together. Hearing each other’s voices can sometimes be enough to dispel tension.

#6. You may have to virtually meet each other’s family and friends.

If you postpone the “see the parents” or “meet the friends” date until you can meet in person, you’ll miss out on an important opportunity to get to know your spouse. Instead, schedule a video call for when one of you is visiting family or friends.

#7. Be patient and trust that you will figure it out.

Finding a way to be with my girlfriend wasn’t too difficult because I work remotely, but I also know folks who made it work in less flexible situations. My buddy spent three years long-distance with her partner because she didn’t want to give up her career.


It was a lot of fun putting together this “how to start a relationship” guide. I hope you find it useful and utilize it to start the relationship of your dreams. So, if you’re serious about starting a relationship, you must first establish your priorities, because your primary focus should not be how badly you need a girlfriend or boyfriend.

Frequently Asked Questions

What to talk about before starting a relationship?

What To Talk About Before Starting A Relationship

  • Your political opinions.
  • Relationships with Exes
  • Your money relationship.
  • Long-term goals.
  • Current employment situation.
  • Your relationship with Your Family.
  • Predictions.
  • Your desire (or lack thereof) for alone time

What are the do's and don'ts of starting a relationship?

Starting A New Relationship: Dos and Don’ts

  • Don’t bring up your concerns.
  • Don’t make any comparisons.
  • Don’t be needy.
  • Don’t dismiss the “birds and bees” discussion.
  • Don’t be frightened to experiment with new things.
  • Don’t feel obligated to become intimate with your spouse right away.
  • Maintain your boundaries.
  • Don’t bother them with questions about their ex.

What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?

5 essentials for a happy marriage

  • Open communication. The ability to talk honestly is one of the characteristics of a healthy relationship.
  • Hearing and feeling heard. It is crucial to have someone listen to us and to feel heard.
  • Working through differences.
  • Mutual closeness
  • Trust.

What do you talk about in a new relationship?

What Should You Discuss in a New Relationship?

  • Discuss your life philosophy and your vision for the future.
  • Discuss your childhood and your past.
  • Let’s talk about sex.
  • Discuss money, debt, and any legal issues.
  • Discuss your family and friends.
  • Discuss the issues that annoy you.
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