There are tons of signs we look out for during separation, but the most important ones are often the positive ones, which often indicate that the relationship or marriage isn’t totally lost. For starters, subtle positive signs during separation could be that they still support each other in the midst of the challenge or, that, despite the odds, they still take advice from each other.
Below is a more comprehensive list of positive signs during separation.
11 POSITIVE SIGNS DURING SEPARATION
This is not an exhaustive list, but they are visible telltale signs that confirm that reconciliation is undoubtedly within reach during a separation. Let’s hit the road…
#1. Willingness to Forgive
If the hurt memories still come up at the sight of your spouse, and you note every one of them, coming back will definitely not be an option.
On the other hand, if you could forgive and you feel like they deserve a second chance, I can assure you that getting back may not be too much of a hassle.
The entire decision is left on the table of both parties. If you both see forgiveness as a possibility, or you’ve even decided to forgive each other, then it is a positive sign during separation.
But even if it does not lead to a comeback, being able and willing to forgive—as difficult as it sounds— is pretty vital for your sanity and mental health.
#2. You Still Communicate
Consistently texting or calling to check up on each other is another positive sign to watch out for during separation. Other activities may include liking each other’s posts, commenting on their walls, discussing family issues, or probably having reconciliation talks.
It becomes an issue when you and your partner don’t even say “hi” to each other, even in coincidental meetings. In this case, bitterness is already in the way of any form of reconciliation.
#3. Trying to Fix the Problem
Behind every broken relationship or marriage lies a strong issue that couples may not be able to overcome at the moment. Several studies show that the most common issues that lead to separation are:
- Domestic violence
- Constant conflict
- No sexual intimacy
- No commitment
Other factors external factors could also include; financial instability, friends’ interference, and family.
So if both parties consciously try to fix the problem, then it, most likely, would lead to both parties coming back together.
#4. Still Friends on Social Media Platforms
After separations, the first action for a lot of couples is to stop following each other on different social media platforms. This is because they, most times, want to start a new life without being reminded of the past.
Plus there is also the unwillingness to share the details of their personal life with separated partners.
But if they still stay friends, then there is a chance—even though that chance is bleak.
#5. They Always Look For Each Other’s Support
One of the really iconic positive signs during separation is when the relationship has not lost its potential desire to support and help one another.
If they could turn to each other for advice and still consider the fact that it is from someone special, the partners have an excellent chance to get back together.
#6. Always Jealous of Seeing the Opposite Sex Around You
A major indicator that your partner is still interested in reconciliation is if their interest in your life, your well-being, and the people around you is of great concern to them. Most times, they also want to know if you’re seeing someone else. You can easily pinpoint this when they constantly ask questions about your love life.
#7. Notice Your Spouse/Partner Always Has a Reason for Wanting to See You
In some cases, you notice that during separation most partners always try to rekindle the love by using the slightest excuse to see you or ask for your opinion on issues that do not concern you.
Half the time, they are always requesting to meet for things that could easily be discussed on phone, via texts, or chats. This is often a strong pointer that they are trying to win their way back into your heart. Partners who indulge this attitude during a separation or allow it to linger longer than usual always get back together because it is often a strong positive sign.
#8. Constant Asking Your Friends About You
Most individuals are always skeptical about talking to their partners during separation. It has to do with the fact that they are still either angry with them or they lack the confidence to talk to them about certain issues. A positive sign during separation is when you see them talking to their partner’s close friends instead. If this happens, it is almost certain that they clearly do not want to forget about them and want to weigh the chances of getting back together.
#9. They Still Flirting With Each Other
When they still try flirting with you during separation, it is a sign that they still have feelings for you. They are obviously trying to stage a comeback by giving you some kind of attention. Some examples of how they go about this include:
- They always try to impress you in all they do.
- They give you this body language to express their feeling, e.g. they try getting closer to you or even to the extent of touching you whenever they’re around you.
- Always smile to get your attention.
- They send you sweet compliments and messages.
#10. They Still Speak With Your Family Members
Another sign your separated wife, husband, or relationship partner wants to reconcile is the regular communication between them and your family members. They are always interested in their health and general well-being.
#11. Very Quick to Observe the Changes
They are very good at observing the changes around you and also try to remind you of the recent changes they notice.
Here are the examples:
- The changes in weight lost
- Very open to communicating
- New dress sense
Average Length of Separation Before Reconciliation
Statistics say that the average length of separation before reconciliation is five to ten months. This is a safe period when the spouse can let go of the heat and make a decision whether or not to give their marriage or relationship another chance.
However, people tend to believe that trial or legal separation is the first step to divorce. Well, this is not always true as sometimes, couples in marriage get back together even after 3 to 4 years of separation.
But then, the average length of separation before reconciliation is also dependent on the couples and how willing they are to give up every hurt, anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness in their heart. They eventually have to accept the fact that marriage comes with lots of baggage from both sides.
Keeping Hope During Separation
To fight for your separated marriage or relationship, you need to first analyze what led to the separation in the first place. Was the marriage toxic? Were you married to a narcissist? Are you a narcissist? Were you an abusive partner? Was it a case of abuse or addiction? Was it Infidelity? Dysfunctional parenting? Abuse to the children?
You just need to look for a way to deal with the underlying issue before making any steps toward reconciliation.
However, it’s extremely unhealthy to endure a toxic marriage or stay trapped in an unhealthy relationship for very long. In scenarios like this, walking out becomes a more viable option than reconciliation. When a marriage is unhealthy and you’ve opted out of it, reconciling will definitely take you down. Keeping hope on the table should only be an option when the situation is not life-threatening.
When to Give Up During Separation
The thought of being alone or trying to build up again is not the best option if love exists.
Love, patience, and understanding are the basic factors that can save a marriage from falling apart.
However, it’s quite unusual to see a married couple that has never had conflict or misunderstanding in their relationship.
Either way, one prominent sign that tells you to give up during separation is that there is no longer trust or respect
If you’re unable to neither trust nor respect them, that relationship is good as lost!
Negative Signs During Separation
The following are negative signs to note during separation:
- Always not happy: Happiness is what determines a healthy relationship. It is okay to have disagreements every once in a while. However, peace and happiness is the most important ingredient of life— whether separated or not.
- Not having a positive conversation: When couples are happy, they tend to have positive conversations. But if you have more negative conversations than positive ones over a long time with no improvement in sight, it is definitely a negative sign and a cue to let go.
- Have reasons to avoid partners: Some unhappy people come back from work and then take off somewhere they feel they can find happiness besides their home. This is a sign that things have really gone bad.
Can separation heal a relationship?
If it is done for the right reasons and if there are clear agreements from the beginning, a separation from one’s spouse can actually help to strengthen a marriage. Receiving support from a third party and keeping up with regular communication are two essential components of a healthy separation that can actually strengthen a relationship.
Does separation increase love?
Separation allows couples to appreciate their partner more, which in turn strengthens their relationship with that person. In point of fact, people who are in long-distance relationships tend to keep their relationships going for a longer period of time, have a lower likelihood of breaking up, and report higher levels of love and satisfaction than those who are in relationships with geographically close partners.
Positive Signs During Separation FAQs
What are the signs of reconciliation?
After Separation, the following are positive Signs Of Reconciliation to look out for;
- Communication does not fully cease.
- External forces are no longer a factor.
- You’ve figured out what the real problem is.
- Forgiveness is on the table.
- Conversations about “remember when” bring back fond recollections.
- You’re still running into each other.
- Stressors in the workplace are no longer an issue.
Should I talk to my wife during separation?
If you still want to reignite the relationship that brought you together and re-establish the connection that seems to have been gone, then, yes you should. Communicating with your spouse throughout your separation is crucial if this is the case.
How long were you separated before reconciling?
According to statistics, the typical separation time before reconciliation is six to eight months. As a result, it is a safe period during which the couples can calm off and determine if they want to try again or get divorced.