We have constructed mathematical models, scales, and formulas over the course of his 40+ year career to identify the factors of relationship stability as well as the interacting patterns that lead to divorce. Gottman became interested in this research area because he was perplexed by how people form good relationships. Read further to know all you need about the Gottman method.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is a couple of counseling strategies that are founded on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The Gottman theory evaluates your relationship and provides you and your spouse with research-based solutions based on the Sound House theory to assist you and your partner solve problems (described more below). Gottman’s Method attempts to improve verbal communication, promote intimacy, respect, and affection in relationships, as well as remove barriers to dispute resolution and develop empathy and compassion.
Each couple’s Gottman Method is highly individualized. Individual and combined therapy sessions, as well as questionnaires that help you assess the state of your relationship, are all part of the initial phase. Following the initial exam, your therapist will work with you and your spouse to determine the frequency of your therapy sessions. You’ll start therapeutic treatments to help address the issue areas in your relationship after you’ve established the therapeutic framework (a fancy term for your therapy schedule and strategy). The therapy interventions aim to improve three key parts of your relationship: friendship, conflict resolution, and shared meaning creation. Regardless of sexual orientation, socioeconomic level, or cultural background, the Gottman Method can help any partnership.
Who invented the Gottman Method?
Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, a psychologist couple, developed the Gottman Method. Drs. Gottman has a combined 40 years of psychology study and clinical experience, which they have used to develop their relationship therapy methodology. Dr. John Gottman has spent his career focusing on marital stability and divorce prediction. He is now Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he conducts couples research in the “Love Lab.”
Dr. Julie Shwartz Gottman is a clinical psychologist who specializes in marriage, sexual harassment (including rape and domestic abuse), same-sex marriage, same-sex adoption, and parenting. Additionally, the Gottman Institute by the Gottmans provides relationship counseling and training to mental health professionals who work with couples. The institute’s objective is to improve and strengthen relationships, marriages, and families through the practical application of psychological research in the treatment world.
The Psychology Behind the Theory
The Gottman Method is based on the Sound House Theory, which identifies the fundamental building blocks of any relationship. The Sound House Theory is similar to Maslow’s hierarchy of requirements in terms of relationships. There are nine fundamental components to a relationship that works together to assist you and your spouse have a successful and meaningful relationship. Each step is dependent on the success of the one before it. The theory claims that understanding each other’s worlds is the foundation of all romantic relationships and that once you do, you can learn to share fondness, which will encourage you to lean on one another, embrace positive perspectives, manage conflict, achieve your goals, and, finally, create shared meaning.
Each of these levels has a set of exercises that can assist you and your companion in achieving your objective. You should individually create love maps that reveal your psychological worlds, history, worries, and hopes in order to understand your partner’s world. You can focus on showing appreciation and respect for your mate once you have a better knowledge of each other to improve the level of warmth and admiration in your relationship. Following this stage, you’ll concentrate on expressing your relationship’s demands. Respond to your partner’s wants so that you can learn to rely on one another more.
You and your partner will learn to problem-solve from a positive perspective after completing this level. In this phase, you’ll establish a positive mindset that will help you manage conflict more effectively in the following. You will be able to manage both solvable and perpetual problems after you understand how to properly manage conflict (by focusing on management rather than resolution).
How does the Gottman method work in Therapy?
If this sounds totally awesome and you and your partner are completely on pursuing therapy in the form of the Gottman Method. You might be wondering how to participate. If you google something like “Gottman Method therapists near me” you will find a list of Gottman certified therapists in your area.
One of the advantages of Covid-19 is that it allows Gottman Method-trained therapists to provide online treatment via video conferencing. This implies you may deal with your relationship issues without having to risk coming to a face-to-face counseling session. It also means that you have access to a licensed therapist, even if there are none in your immediate vicinity! Private couples retreats are also available through the Gottman Institute. Consider the retreats as a highly romantic weekend break that will also help you strengthen your relationship. Because of the epidemic, the retreats are presently on pause, but a fresh calendar of retreat alternatives will be soon announce.
In addition to these counseling choices, you can enroll in private Marathon Couples Therapy with Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman through the internet. Marathon Couples Treatment is a high-intensity internet therapy led by the methodology’s developers. This option entails three days of therapy, each with a five-hour session, so it’s quite demanding. While meeting with the actual creators of this idea may seem like a big commitment, it will assist you. Your spouse conquers any relationship issues you’re having. The intense style can also help you solve your issues quickly and effectively, saving you weeks of shorter therapy sessions.
What kind of issues is the Gottman Method best for?
The Gottman Method divides relationship issues into two categories: those that can be resolved and those that cannot be resolved. The Gottman Method focuses on resolving persistent issues, which are issues that will always remain. But maybe with the correct coaching. The counseling methodology can assist you and your partner in navigating frequent conflicts and fights, poor communication skills, and specific issues such as sex life issues, infidelity, money issues, and parenting issues.
The strategy is also appropriate for emotionally distant couples who are contemplating separation and/or divorce. Most people seek therapy when they have serious difficulty in their relationship. As we’ve seen, the Gottman Method is well-suited to assist you and your partner in resolving severe issues. The methodology, on the other hand, can work well for couples who aren’t facing any major issues. Even happy couples can benefit from the Gottman Method, which is at making your relationship healthier and stronger. Adopting the Gottman Method will assist you in navigating present issues as well as future disputes and issues.
Is the Gottman Method Effective?
The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy is one of, if not the most, research-based methodologies available. Drs. Gottman’s combined experience has informed this idea and resulted in an extraordinarily effective methodology. The Gottman Method has been the subject of a lot of research in addition to being research-based. The Gottman Method has been endorsed by studies employing randomized clinical trials published in the Journal of Family Therapy and the Journal of Family Psychology.
Aside from these investigations, several clinical trials have been undertaken outside of the United States that support the theory’s efficacy. Additional study is being by the Gottman Institute to prove the efficacy of the therapy procedure. If the large quantities of the clinical study aren’t enough to persuade you. You may also look for testimonials online from couples who have gone through the counseling procedure. There are a plethora of videos on the internet depicting genuine couples who have utilized and endorsed the Gottman Method.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Couples that use the Gottman Method are said to be happier. Couples therapy starts with a diagnostic process that informs the therapeutic framework and intervention.
#1. Assessment
A conjoint session, followed by individual interviews with each partner is conducted. Couples complete questionnaires and then receive detailed feedback on their relationship.
#2. Therapeutic Framework
The couple and therapist decide on the frequency and duration of the sessions.
#3. Therapeutic Interventions
Interventions aim to assist couples to improve their relationships in three areas: friendship, conflict resolution, and the creation of shared meaning. Couples learn to repair previous hurts and replace negative conflict habits with pleasant interactions. Therefore closeness and intimacy interventions are to promote friendship, deepen an emotional connection. Make adjustments that benefit the couple’s shared goals.
Who Can Benefit from the Gottman Method?
“Although you may feel your situation is unique, we have found that all marital conflicts fall into two categories: either they can be resolved, or they are perpetual, which means they will be part of your lives forever, in some form or another,” writes Dr. John Gottman in his New York Times bestselling book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. According to Gottman, 69 percent of marital conflicts are permanent. Also, this is a major focus of much of the work by Gottman therapists.
The Gottman Method is to help couples from all walks of life, including all socioeconomic, racial, sexual orientation, and cultural backgrounds. More so, Gottman Method Couples Therapy has been to be helpful in treating same-sex relationships in outcome studies.
Some of the relationship issues that may be addressed in therapy include:
- Frequent conflict and arguments
- Poor communication
- Emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation
- Specific problems such as sexual difficulties, infidelity, money, and parenting
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy can help even couples with “normal” levels of conflict. Gottman-trained therapists strive to assist couples in developing stronger overall relationships as well as healthier strategies to deal with challenges as they emerge in the future. The Gottman Referral Network can help you discover a Gottman-trained therapist.
FAQs
What is the biggest predictor of divorce?
For over 40 years, John and Julie Gottman have studied couples’ interactions with each other and have found that the number one predictor of divorce is contempt for your partner. Contempt is the kiss of death to a relationship.
How long do sexless marriages last?
However, with menopause and sexless marriage, the situation can linger on for four to five years, and may even become permanent. Finding non-sexual ways to express your love and affection for your spouse becomes essential for coping with a sexless marriage in such cases to rule out the risk of perimenopause divorce.
What religion has the highest divorce rate?
People tend to throw around the “fact” that “50% of all marriages end in divorce.” This popular myth has hooked its claws deep into the American mind, yet its claims are simply untrue.
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Moving up the ladder, Barna’s averages by group totaled to:
- Born-Again Christian: 27%
- Jewish: 30%
- Muslim: 31%
- Protestant: 34%
