BEING IN LOVE VS LOVING SOMEONE: What are the Key Differences

Being in Love vs Loving Someone
A ConsciousRethink

Most of us will experience this feeling at some point in our lives: your heart skips a beat when you see your partner enter the room, and it seems like the time you spend together makes you feel on top of the world. Many people aspire to be in love at some point in their lives, and it can seem like every character in movies, books, and other stories we enjoy is focused on it in one way or another. In this article, you will learn a lot of things, because a lot of people can’t really differentiate between being in love vs loving someone.

Love comes in a variety of forms. Some people experience butterflies when they fall in love; happy couples who have been married for a long time have a deep, profound commitment to one another; and parents’ love for their children is frequently regarded as the greatest love a person can feel. However, love and being in love are two distinct emotions that depend on the stage of your relationship when it comes to romance.

What Does Being in Love Mean

Being in love entails wanting your partner to be happy, admiring them for who they are as a person, and being inspired to improve yourself. Your connection transcends purely physical desire when you are in love. It is ecstatic at the thought of two unique, autonomous people deciding to spend time together. If you’re in love, you’re motivated to show your special someone compassion, generosity, and care.

The Telltale Signs of Love

That’s great, but how can I know if I’m actually in love or not, you’re probably asking yourself. A good query. Check to see whether any of the following indications of love[1] fit your situation:

  • Your thoughts about your ex-partner have stopped. In fact, you can’t even recall your last thoughts about them.
  • When you work on boring tasks together, you’re happy. Do you remember how awful it used to be to wash the dishes? but not when your lover is there to support you.
  • The two of you begin to make plans for the future. Before, just the following weekend’s date could be planned in advance. You mention going to see the fall foliage change colors, yet it’s still just July.
  • You desire group activities. You have indeed visited the zoo 15 times. but not with your lover, even though you both know that being together would be better.
  • Both positive and negative news is instantly something you want to share with them. Obtaining a promotion at work now, you don’t even consider your best buddy; instead, you send a text to your significant other.
  • Every time you go out, you think of him or her. John would adore those nice shoes. It’s a fantastic game; Jess would adore playing it. It just comes easily because you can’t stop thinking about them.
  • You’ve started anticipating the weekend simply so you can watch a “Seinfeld” marathon while eating breakfast in bed. Dancing? Clubbing? Ever liked any of those things? In your single and unmarried state, yes.

“In Love” Vs “Loving” Are Not the Same Thing

It’s common for people to fall in love, and it’s a wonderful aspect of life. Most likely, you didn’t anticipate it. Perhaps you don’t know why you were never in love before but are now. That’s simple. It’s because you can love someone without ever being in love with them completely. Sound perplexing? Not to worry.

Love is the conscious choice you make to be with someone, to believe in them, and to look out for them. You can love your family, friends, and perhaps even your ex-partner. You can’t, though, or you weren’t in love with them. That is a whole other emotion. You don’t have a love relationship with one of your best friends for a reason.

When you are in love with someone, you want to talk to them about your feelings, you feel secure in their arms, you want to make them happy, and you think about them all the time.

Are Feelings Mutual

You undoubtedly want to know if your partner feels the same way once you have determined whether or not you are in love with them. Maybe you’re at the stage in your relationship where you’re debating what the best time would be to say, “I love you.” You can tell if there are shared feelings by looking for a few specific indicators.

#1. Pay Attention to What They Say

If your spouse begins discussing a future together, you may be confident they are likely in love with you as well. They want you to be in their future if they can see you in it.

How do they speak to you, specifically? Does your partner make any explicit mentions of the aspects of your personality that they find endearing? “I enjoy the way I feel when we’re together,” for example. They’re probably in love if they say things like “You always know how to make me feel good,” which is a fairly strong indication.

#2. Pay Attention to What They Do

The adage “Actions speak louder than words” is well known. It’s accurate. What do their actions, therefore, convey to you?

What Does Loving Someone Mean

Is your lover ever by your side when you need them? Do they always pay attention to what you have to say, even if it’s just your thousandth complaint about your boss? Chances are they’re also in love with you if they take care of you when you’re feeling down, bring you your favorite takeout just because, or come over with a movie. When two people are in love, they make an effort to spend time together and encourage one another.

These are Attribute to knowing that you love someone:

#1. Listen First

How can you love someone you don’t even know? Give the gift of listening intently and openly to your partner. It’s crucial to pay attention during interactions with your partner.

Make an effort to give your lover your whole attention. You can demonstrate your love by “putting your phone away” and refraining from being preoccupied with work, emails, TV, or the news when spending time with your partner. Maintain “complete connectedness and engagement in the action or moment together” instead.

#2. Speak Clearly

It is shockingly easy to lie to someone you care about. We don’t do this enough, despite the fact that it seems so straightforward. You don’t have to give a lengthy speech or have the best oratory skills. Your companion probably enjoys talking to you and other forms of interaction with you. “

Making eye contact or other forms of physical contact with your partner while expressing how much they mean to you and how much you love and appreciate them can be “extremely powerful.”

#3. Express Gratitude

Research has shown that being grateful has numerous psychological and physical advantages, and this holds true for romantic relationships as well. Spend some time saying “thank you” to the one you love, even for seemingly insignificant things like cleaning the dishes and taking out the garbage. No one desires to

Thanking your companion frequently assures that you won’t ever feel taken for granted. Gratitude entails more than a simple “thank you.”

My notion of thankfulness includes admiring not only what your partner accomplishes but also who they are as a person. ” You shouldn’t simply be grateful that your partner carried out the garbage; you should also be grateful for a partner who is considerate enough to understand how much you detest doing it.

#4. Show Your Interest

Being genuinely interested in someone’s life is a classic sign of love and a crucial component of connection.

Asking questions about your partner’s everyday activities will help you “understand what is happening in your partner’s environment, There are instances when we neglect to check in with our spouse or ignore their attempts to connect. This can seriously harm the relationship over time. Asking someone how their day was might be all that is necessary.

#5. Take Note of Their Needs

If you listen carefully to your partner, you’ll start to realize how you could perhaps simplify their situation a little. You may arrange a soothing day at the spa, for instance, if your partner has been stressed out or overworked lately. These kinds of deeds are unique because they are considerate. They demonstrate your attention to detail.

The secret, she explains, is to pay attention. Unintentionally or on purpose, they may have left hints about how they’re doing or what they’ve been thinking about lately. Someone who feels heard will undoubtedly experience love, so your attention to them will result in something that will make them feel heard.

#6. Physical Arousal

It goes without saying that having sex is one way to show love, but physical affection is about much more than just having sex, and non-sexual touch may be some of the most intimate of all. Hugs, holding hands, spooning, playing with each other’s hair, and massages are examples of this. Everything is based on your partner’s preferences.

#7. Pristine Time

You can find yourself spending a lot of time with your partner, depending on your career and housing arrangements. But how much of that time is deliberate, with the two of you completely present and interacting as a couple? Quality time can be hard to come by between cellphones, Netflix, chores, and (for some couples) kids.

#8. Give a Present

Giving gifts is a heartfelt, non-materialistic method to show your partner you care since they provide a visual reminder of the affection that you feel for them, Giving gifts is not about how expensive or glamorous it is, as many people believe; rather, it is only about the motive. It serves as a gentle reminder to your partner that you are thinking about them and keeping an eye out for activities they might love. A simple token of your affection, such as a small trinket at the checkout counter or a wildflower you spotted while walking to your car, can make a big impression on your lover.

#9. Put it on Paper

Sweet talk is nice, but how about a handwritten note? That is a beautiful reminder of your love that can be preserved forever. These days, nothing beats a homemade letter, card, or note, especially in our text/email/social media-saturated lives. There is much more to writing to your lover than just saying it. It also calls for vulnerability and attention to detail. “It requires more time, effort, and general work than a text. Writing your love is a mindfulness exercise.

Being in Love Vs Loving Someone

Understanding the symptoms of true love is crucial before determining the type of love that exists in your current relationship (and how to tell when that chemistry is real). Here’s how to tell if you’re in love with someone or are just feeling affection for them if you’re attempting to understand the intense feelings you have:

What distinguishes love Vs being in loving in a relationship?

They actually diverge in a number of ways. The key distinctions between the two are as follows:

#1. Loving Someone Doesn’t Imply Being Attracted to Them; Being “in Love” Only Means You’re Drawn to Them

You have a romantic or sexual attraction to the other person while you’re “in love.” You want to approach them after taking a glance at them. Your concentration shifts as a result of that attraction.

It’s difficult for you to come up with other ideas. Every time they enter the room, your attention is diverted.

You experience the effects of your attraction to them on a bodily, mental, and emotional level.

In contrast, neither romantic attraction nor sexual desire is necessary for love. Someone can be loved even if you don’t find them attractive. Later, more on that.

#2. Love is About the Real Person; You’re “in Love” With an Idealized Version of the Other

Being in love makes it impossible to see the other’s flaws, even those that bother your loved ones. If somebody cautions you about the subject of your obsession, you will jump to their defense.

However, when you love someone, you see them as they truly are, flaws and all.

Although you may also have an attraction, you are no longer oblivious to their flaws. You don’t strive to be someone you’re not around them.

The entire person can fit in love.

#3. Love Grounds You; Being “in Love” Puts You on an Emotional High

You experience an emotional roller coaster while “in love.” When everything is going well, you are in the clouds, blissful, and unstoppable. But the sensation of being in love may also fade away once the hormonal high has worn off.

More profound than attraction is love. When you love someone, you are more concerned with their mental and emotional health. Your enduring love anchors you both and dispels the haze.

#4. Love Brings About Growth; Being “in Love” is About Ownership

Language like “mine,” “hers,” or “his” is used by lovers to denote possession.

  • “He’s mine alone.”
  • “My girl, that.”
  • I’m totally yours.

If that ownership is threatened in any way, one spouse is prone to become envious or possessive.

But when you love someone, you don’t have to call them “mine” or say you’re “his,” “her,” or “theirs.” You are more concerned with developing your relationship and moving forward together.

Of course, you won’t take it lightly if someone intrudes on that relationship and threatens your commitment. But you don’t behave as if you are the owner of the person you are with.

#5. Desiring Someone is Being in Love; Wanting the Best for that Person is Loving Them

When you’re “in love,” you have a selfish eagerness to have the other person. You appreciate being desired, especially when you are immediately desired in return. They should be a part of every aspect of your life. You desire their presence, interest, and grin.

You have never had such an intense desire for anyone in your life, it seems. It consumes everything.

However, even if someone doesn’t love you back when you love someone, you want the best for them.

#6. Love Develops Gradually and Firmly, Whereas Romance Flames Fast and Wildly

The emotion burns wildly and surges up suddenly when you’re “in love.” You’re riding a roller coaster with steep inclines, wide chasms, and terrifying turns.

On the other hand, love develops gradually and evenly. It is independent of your emotional state or whether things “feel well” between you. Even when you disagree, you wouldn’t claim that the love is gone; rather, you would remark that it is more difficult.

Because falling in love is a choice you make, not something that just happens to you.

#7. Loving Them Frees You Both Vs Falling in Love Makes You Dependant

When you’re in love, you start to feel reliant on the other person. Your emotional health depends on how they treat you.

You feel stung by every sarcastic remark or contemptuous gaze, yet you are helpless to do anything about it.

You become rooted by love, and the other person becomes rooted as well. They feel safer and freer to be themselves when they perceive that your love is unwavering and unaffected by disagreement. You are both freed by love.

#8. Being “in Love” at a Distance is Difficult, if not Impossible

When you’re in love, it seems impossible to be apart from your partner. The intensity intensifies when you’re together, and you can both enjoy it in a way that you can’t when you’re away. Human interaction is essential to the experience of being in love.

Speaking in each other’s love languages can help you both remember the reasons you like one other even without that. But when you can’t be together, it’s more difficult to stay in love.

In any case, that love emotion fluctuates. Even while time apart might make the heart grow fonder, the ebbs outweigh the flows the longer you are apart.

But if you love each other, you get stronger together. Your love can endure being separated from each other. Love is independent of human interaction.

Being in Love Vs Loving Someone FAQs

What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

“You really understand them, have encountered their difficult aspects, and wholly embrace them.” While there can be times when you feel “in love,” loving someone also involves a deep sense of intimacy and closeness that’s emphasized by commitment.

Is there a difference between love and in love?

Love is a powerful feeling that can take on many different forms. Being “in love” and loving someone are two completely different things. As an illustration, you might adore your child yet be “in love” with your spouse. The state of being “in love” is linked to romance.

Can you love someone and not be in love?

If you enjoy spending time with your partner but are not attracted to them, you may have love but not be in love. To progress from falling in love to being in love, there must be a component of passion, desire, and physical attraction. “No matter how much we want it to, we can’t will it to happen.”

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