We have at a time gone through a form of manipulation. Manipulation has to do with social influence that usually affects our behaviour through various tactics of deception. Generally, the worst part of being manipulated in a relationship is that quite often you don’t even know its happening. Basically, manipulative people twist your thoughts, actions, wants and desires into something that better suits how they see the world and they mold you into someone that serves their own purposes. Furthermore, what is manipulation in relationships?
WHAT IS MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIPS?
Manipulators in relationships often use mind games to seize power in a relationship. Although, there are a lot of reasons some people manipulate others. But the ultimate goal is to use that power to control the other person. Overall, such relationships lack trust, understanding, and even mutual respect. This is true of personal relationships, as well as professional ones. Sometimes, people seek to exploit these elements of a relationship in order to benefit themselves in some way. For example, a girl working under someone who regularly tried to add sexual description to her job else she’d be fired. Basically, that is emotionally manipulative. What are the signs though even if they appear quite subtle?
SIGNS OF MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIP
Most people don’t even know they are being manipulated in their relationships because the manipulator usually imposes their ideas as your own. What are the signs of this?
#1. GUILTY PLEA:
One thing that manipulators dish out is guilt. Generally, they often “guilt trip”. When they always make you feel guilty for your actions even if you are not wrong. When this becomes persistent, they’d see you as “fresh meat” to always pound on when they need to get their way. A clear example is, “I love you and it’s important to me that you’re happy, even if that means setting aside what I want.” See what they did there? They always try to turn it around on you. Generally, they make it seem like they’re a loving partner but guilt isn’t love. It’s basically just a sick mind game.
#2. INSECURITIES:
They are always insecure. And basically project this insecurity on you. When a manipulator is insecure, he or she wants to make effort to be in control that very moment. He can say something like “I was once cheated on which is why I don’t want you to have any male friends, you understand that right? And you ignorantly would say yes. However, you should really understand that there is a very long gap between consideration and manipulation in relationships. Consideration is because of love while manipulation’s ruling principle is guilt.
#3. CONSTANT DOUBT:
They make you doubt yourself. When that happens you are now a toy in their hands. Because you’d get brainwashed up to the point you don’t even trust yourself. That’s right; manipulators take your insecurities and use them against you. There’s always this “Why am I always wrong?” thing going on in your head. Recently I saw a film, where two people were dating. The guy in question was always too manipulative and emotionally demanding. But, in the end, his supposed love was an obsession. That is how some manipulators are. They might love you or just simply enjoy the fact that you’re around them. They slowly convince you they have your best interests at heart. But they don’t. Basically, they have their own best interests at heart. And in order to keep their wants and needs at the forefront of your relationship, they gently twist your thinking until you look to him for guidance on everything. Once that happens, manipulators can make you basically do whatever they want you to because you now trust them more than you trust yourself.
#4. VICTIM MUCH?
Manipulators can be ironic in a sense. Basically, they always love playing the “victim card”. When they feel sad, it’s probably you making them feel that way. When they feel angry and upset, well you better check yourself because it’s probably your fault. Overall, you get all the blame.
EXAMPLES OF MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Some of the common examples of manipulation in relationships include:
1. Using the love of the other as a pull for dominance
2. Overwhelming their victims with loving gestures to make them basically lower their guard.
3. Making use of an intense emotional connection. In a case scenario, he really wants to have sex with his victim. What does he do though? Basically, he just tries his best to make things move fast in your relationship that you’re at that point. Emotions flying in the air and finally, you did it before you could even realize it’s not what you wanted.
SIGNS OF A MANIPULATIVE WOMAN
Some of the signs of a very manipulative woman include;
#1. EMOTIONAL OUTBURST:
Women can use frequent emotional outbursts to get their way like crying. Basically, women get quite expressive and they are known to have emotional outbursts. Overall, they can be quite expressive. One of the important signs of a manipulative woman is they experience emotional outbursts right in the middle of an important argument. When they realize they are losing the argument, they get emotional.
#2. SMOOTH TALKER:
Smooth-talking is another sign of a manipulative woman. They’ll turn your emotions subtly to what they want to you do. Without realizing it, you will end up doing things that they want you to do believing you always wanted to do it. Confusing, right? Imagine how bad it can be in a real situation.
#3. CONSTANT STATE OF DENIAL:
A manipulative woman thrives in denial. When you confront them about their manipulating habit, they will straight away move to the denial stage. They will say that they have nothing to do with it and basically jump into being emotional. Suddenly, the whole argument from them being manipulative will move to them being emotional. Women are really something wonderful right?
#4. LYING:
Lying is one of the most effective manipulation tactics. A manipulative woman knows this and knows how to use it. Basically, she knows when, how, and how much to lie. It’s like a gift. They do it openly and without any shame. Generally for manipulative women, getting the work done is far more important than lying.
#5. THE “NICE-PLAY”:
This is one of the interesting signs of the manipulative woman. When she needs something from you, she can be very nice to you that you’d think she’s head over heels. Then, when you’re stuck in her web, she’d use her charm and charismatic personality to woo you over. Once the work is done, they would move back to their original behavior.
#6. VICTIM CARD:
A lot of women know how to play this card very much. Even though, someone can’t be the victim in a relationship all the time. Obviously, there are times when you’re wrong and there are times when she is wrong. But, when you’re wrong, she will make you feel worse. When she is wrong, she will play the victim and make you feel bad. That’s how the game goes.
#7. NEVER APOLOGIZING:
Apologizing is not weakness. Even when you did not do something wrong. But saying sorry helps you strengthen your relationship. Additionally, one of the signs of a manipulative woman is that they would start ignoring you then apologize to you. They won’t mind even if you don’t initiate the conversation after this. They won’t apologize first, and that’s final.
#8. SEXUAL MANIPULATION:
Most women are sexually manipulative, even though they might not know it. When a woman wants to have sex with you, she won’t hesitate to use every your pleasures or fantasies against you. Basically, she just cares about her desires and no one else’s.
FORMS OF MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
Generally, there are various forms of manipulation in our relationships. But the thing is emotional manipulation does just walk straight and bold. It is always cunning and subtle. Some subtle forms of manipulation include;
1. Love Bombing
2. Gaslighting
3. Stonewalling
SUBTLE MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
This consists of;
#1. Love-Bombing:
This is generally ruled by the principle of “inconsistency in romance”. Your partner may intermittently shower you with attention and flattery. It could be a text, or phone calls basically sometimes a gift. And then out of nowhere, they just disappear or become moody and rude without an explanation. When this is persistent and continuous, it is referred to as love-bombing. These are all ploys to speed up the pace of a relationship so you become dependent on their affection.
#2. Gaslighting:
What does it mean to be “gaslit?” Well, when your partner is always lying to you and you begin to question your own sense of perception. Because anything he says is always contradicting. This means you are being “gaslighted”. But the thing is that with all that, you still trust them more than you do yourself. This may manifest in a conversation where you may have even confronted them about a blatant lie they told you. But before the conversation ends, you’d apologize to them.
#3. Stonewalling:
Stonewalling is basically abuse. It is otherwise known as the silent treatment. Basically, stonewalling is when someone, in this case, your partner, refuses to engage or speak with you. They may even openly ignore you despite how it may make you feel.
CONCLUSION
When you are being constantly manipulated in a relationship, it’s probably time to call a quit. Because emotional manipulation is mentally demeaning. How? If you constantly endure because of love, the damage to your mind can be quite intense. You can suffer conditions like:
a. Depression
b. Social anxiety
c. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
MANIPULATION IN RELATIONSHIPS FAQ’S
Is Manipulation an abuse?
Yes, it is definitely emotional abuse. Because it involves imposing your emotions on someone by force. And it is also a ploy for dominance and control.
Are Manipulators narcissists?
Personally, I think so. A narcissist is someone who thinks only about themselves. Their wants, desires, and everything about anyone else’s emotion. And manipulators always want their emotional needs to be satisfied before their partners. So yes, they are.
