Open Relationship Rules are made for the easy co-existence of multi partners. These rules are some sort of arrangement and guideline keeping a relationship from falling apart. In order to avoid cheating on your partner or getting hurt, a couple agrees on certain guidelines to help them. These rules or arrangements, however, differ in every relationship. Whatever works for you and your partner may not work for your friends and their partners. Therefore, it solely depends on what you and your partner or what a particular couple wants.
Open Relationship Rules
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Catalina Lawsin, “open partnerships occur under the umbrella of consensual non-monogamous relationships and generally, but not always, tend to focus on sexual activities over-emotional with other partners.” “There are many types of consensual non-monogamous relationships under this larger umbrella, some of which include: polyamory (where partners support one another having both emotional and sexual relationships with other partners with the understanding that love can take many forms and individuals can love more than one person at a time), monogamish (similar to open, but limited only to sexual activity with other partners), swinging (exploring sexual activities together), and so on.”
She also clarifies that open relationships are not the same as affairs, which is a widespread misunderstanding. “It’s the polar opposite,” she claims. “The secrecy of an affair is its most important component. Partners in open relationships are open and supportive of one other’s sexual behavior.”
Rules In Open Relationships And Easy Tips To Set Yours
For a successful open relationship, there should be laid down rules between you and your partner to guide you. These rules will make your relationship less challenging and uncomfortable.
Some open relationship rules are;
#1. Set Boundaries:
The boundary can be said to be an edge or a dividing line between two areas. What do I mean by setting boundaries in a relationship?
While starting an open relationship, there are two boundaries that are very necessary for you and your partner to create from the outset. They are:
#a. Sexual Boundaries:
Here, you discuss what or what not should be allowed in your sexual life. This should be done not just with your primary partner but also with your secondary partners.
Are you comfortable with oral or anal sex? Will your relationship only be about kissing and romance? Will you be comfortable while using toys? What are the styles or positions that excite you the most?
These are some questions you need to ask your partner and also answer them yourself.
#b. Emotional Boundaries:
How many people do you and your partner find comfortable sleeping with? Do you mind your partner having sex with people within your social circle? Do you like your partner going on dates?
You should be honest about your emotional needs from the start. Your emotional and mental health is very important.
Always remember while setting boundaries that what works for others may not work for you. Honesty plays a vital role. You, therefore, have to act according to the boundaries you create in order to maintain trust.
#2. Discuss Protection:
Of course, this is more than necessary when starting an open relationship. How comfortable are you with condoms and dental dams? How many times will you be willing to go for checkups or tests?
Always remember that the more people you have sex with, the higher the risk of contracting STD. Your protection should be your priority.
#3. Create Parameters:
It is not just about creating your sexual and emotional boundaries. Are you and your partner comfortable with having up to five secondary partners? How much time will you set aside for your partner so that he/she will not feel cheated?
Whatever you do, ensure that your partner is respected and does not feel left out. However, these parameters can change anytime but it’s super cool to start off with some rules.
Open Long Distance Relationships
In a long-distance relationship, couples who are romantically involved with each other are separated geographically either because of their job, business, family or education.
Since open relationship involves having sex with people with the consent of your partner, an open long-distance relationship is one with a partner who lives far and also agrees to meet other people either for sex or intimacy.
Lack of physical intimacy and the long distance makes this kind of relationship very challenging. Therefore before you start one, make sure you and your partner understand perfectly the meaning of what you are about to indulge in.
Make sure that you and your partner are genuinely cool with seeing other people.
Secondly, have complete trust and understanding. Trust will help you overcome the minor challenges you may encounter on the way.
Thirdly, feel comfortable to talk to your partner about anything. You should be open to each other especially when you meet new people.
Lastly, always bear in mind that for an open long-distance relationship to work, you should be honest with each other about your feelings and must maintain an emotional connection except the relationship is just about sex.
Always remember that you are not the only person in your relationship. Don’t be selfish. Make time for your primary partner and others as well. Have fun!
Is an open relationship right for you and your partner?
To begin, in order for an open relationship to work, both partners must engage it willingly, rather than reluctantly. If someone accepts an open relationship out of fear of losing their partner, it’s “a tragedy since open partnerships are difficult to maintain, even if everyone wants to be in them.” Relationships are difficult in general. “If someone has been forced or bullied into a non-monogamous relationship, or has given in because they fear the individual will leave them if they don’t,” says Dr. Sheff, author of The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families. “And then, when anything occurs, like someone getting pregnant by accident or contracting a sexually transmitted infection, everything just blows up.”
Dr. Lawsin also warns that it is not a solution for repairing tumultuous relationships. “Consensual non-monogamous relationships, on the other hand, rely on trust and require a strong, stable, and mutually supportive partnership to succeed.” All relationships include negotiation, and bringing in new partners frequently necessitates even more discussion, communication, and planning.”
To begin, determine why you desire an open relationship. “People should think about their reasons in-depth,” Dr. Sheff advises. Do you want several partners but are uncomfortable with the idea of your partner being with others? Are you simply looking for an opportunity to meet new people? Or is it a strategy to avoid truly committing? “It’s unreasonable to expect a spouse to be sexually exclusive with you while you have sex with everyone you want,” she continues. “Sometimes couples can work out a poly-mono relationship, but in my experience as a relationship coach and study, it rarely succeeds.”
What type of open relationship works for you?
What kind of relationship is best for you and your spouse is mostly determined by your goals. “Both members in the couple must decide if they are open to emotional, physical, or both aspects for an open relationship,” says Dr. Overstreet.
“Are you both looking for sexual variety with no strings attached?” Dr. Sheff explains. Swinging is a wonderful way to do that. Do you wish you had more emotional intimacy? Then polyamory is the way to go. Do you want there to be no restrictions and for each relationship to be self-contained? Then you should think about relational anarchy.”
According to Dr. Sheff, people who practice relationship anarchy choose to be together out of choice rather than obligation. “They aren’t necessarily on the relationship escalator,’ where you have one route to have a relationship with increasing exclusivity and commitment until you’re married, with sex happening only with that one partner.” That does not sit well with relationship anarchists.”
What about jealousy?
You’re going to be envious. It is unavoidable. People should “expect it and start establishing skills around dealing with it before they ever engage in open relationships,” according to Dr. Sheff. And just because you’re jealous doesn’t mean you should abandon the idea of an open relationship. Instead, tackle your jealousy head-on and figure out why you’re feeling that way, which could be because you’re insecure or frightened by your partner’s new connection. “I love you,” says Dr. Sheff, and this is a good opportunity for your partner to reassure you (or for you to affirm your relationship). It’s all right. I’m not going anywhere, and here are all the reasons why.”
Is an open relationship a real relationship?
An open relationship is non-monogamous, meaning that both partners agree to be intimate with other people sexually or romantically. For an open relationship to work, you need to establish rules and boundaries, be honest about your needs, and keep up clear communication.
Is open relationship cheating?
People in open relationships have an agreement that having sex or emotional relationships with other people is OK. Plus, while cheating is considered unethical, open relationships when done correctly are ethical by nature.
Can an open marriage work?
‘It is said that less than 1% of couples are in open marriages,’ Neil explains. ‘Twenty percent of couples have experimented with consensual non-monogamy [but] open marriage has a 92% failure rate.