Being in a relationship with someone who suffers from a borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be exhausting and frustrating. Every relationship has ups and downs, but BPD symptoms can exacerbate common relationship issues. However, just because you’re dating someone with BPD doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed to fail. Many people have close relationships with someone who suffers from BPD. In this article, we’ll look at BPD cheating signs, so pay attention.
BPD Cheating Signs
Some people associate BPD with cheating, but there is currently no research that shows a link between BPD and an increased likelihood or signs of cheating. Problems in relationships and impulsive behavior are two key features of borderline personality. Because of these BPD signs, potential cheating can become an even more emotional experience with serious consequences.
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People with BPD frequently have a strong desire to be loved and accepted. They may engage in risky or impulsive behavior when they feel abandoned or rejected. They may choose these behaviors without considering the consequences in order to feel better in the short term. This category could include infidelity.
15 Top Signs Your BPD Girlfriend is Cheating
Are you concerned that your BPD girlfriend is cheating on you? It’s a horrible sensation, but you’re not alone. I’m going to tell you about 15 sure signs that your BPD girlfriend is cheating on you. In fact, if you suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you, you’ll be able to discover the truth after reading this post. I hope you’re proven wrong for your sake.
#1. She appears to be preoccupied.
Your once attentive girlfriend no longer looks you in the eyes. You find yourself repeating yourself to her because she isn’t paying attention. She finds it difficult to stay engaged in the conversation, and she is constantly looking over your shoulder. If she’s cheating on you, you’ll notice that she’s become estranged from your relationship in a variety of ways. “If your partner’s actions start changing, it could be a sign of infidelity,” says family therapist David Klow.
#2. She is dressing differently.
Something is definitely wrong if your girlfriend suddenly cares about her appearance after years of just bumming around in a t-shirt and jeans, lazing on the couch with her hair in a messy bun, and not putting much effort into a night out. Is she dressed in a new outfit? She might be attempting to impress someone.
Sure, she might be rediscovering – or rediscovering for the first time – her confidence in herself, but there could be another reason for the shift. You might be right if you suspect it’s because she’s seeing someone else and wants to look good for them.
#3. She is easily irritated and angry with you.
This may sound strange, but cheaters sometimes rationalize their actions in their heads and believe they are doing nothing wrong. She could accomplish this by blaming you. She might tell herself, for example, that it’s okay to cheat on you because you haven’t been paying her enough attention lately. Or maybe she’ll tell herself that you were mean to her, forcing her to find someone else and cheat on you.
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#4. She is becoming bored.
Women becoming bored in a relationship is far more common than you may believe. Would she rather sit on the couch and re-watch Shawshank Redemption than accompany you somewhere? Are your dinners completely silent? Have you stopped talking about your days?
These are all signs that she is becoming bored with you and maybe looking for excitement with another guy. The truth is that love is psychological, and if you want her to love you, you must engage in some game-playing.
#5. She does not invite you to her friends’ parties.
If your BPD girlfriend is suddenly spending more time with friends while leaving you at home, this is one of the signs that she is cheating on you. If she doesn’t invite you out or insists on you staying at home to watch the game, you may have reason to be concerned.
She’s not telling you everything about the get-together, either: she’s not sure who will be there, she’s not sure what time she’ll be home, and she’s not sure what the plan is. These are all signs that she is attempting to appear innocent and conceal her affair.
#6. She has begun to talk about the future in a new way.
It’s not good if she used to talk about the future and use the word “we,” but now talks about things she wants to do alone. Even if she claims that she didn’t mean to be selfish in her plans, be wary that she’s just trying to cover her tracks.
“A major commitment makes it more difficult to pull out of a relationship quickly,” clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula writes in Oprah Magazine. There’s a good reason she’s not including you in her plans. Part of the difficulty in suspecting someone of cheating on you is that your partner may be very good at explaining why things are the way they are.
#7. She is preoccupied with her phone.
Sure, everyone is glued to their phones these days, but if she is scrolling through social media or responding to text messages instead of talking to you, you have every right to question her motives.
According to Dr. Tracey Phillips, a counselor, and therapist, hiding things from you on their phone could be a sign of cheating: “They could be trying to avoid receiving any questionable calls or texts in your presence.”
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It’s possible she’s not even aware she’s doing it, but if she’s having an affair, you can bet she’ll be defensive and insulted if you assume she’s doing anything other than updating her latest selfie pic.
#8. She is no longer interested in getting physical.
A roll in the sheets used to be a regular occurrence in your relationship, but you’ve noticed that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to pique her interest in sex. This could be a sign of adultery. Relationships have ups and downs, but if she’s pulling away from you and refusing to be intimate, there’s a reason.
It’s a good idea to discuss your concerns about physical intimacy with her and ask her what’s going on. Women, as I’ve discovered, do not choose the guy who will treat them the best. They pick the guy who evokes strong emotions in them.
#9. She’s too busy for you.
Something is wrong if she has a full plate and no time for you to spend together, but you used to spend all of your time together. She might even be too preoccupied to properly converse with you.
People who may be cheating “tend to engage in sins of omission,” according to psychologist Ramani Durvasula. “They operate on the basis of ‘need to know,’ which is unhealthy for a relationship.”
#10. She no longer makes time for you.
What was once an intimate and enjoyable relationship has become so cold that a sweater is required. If your girlfriend isn’t interested in spending time with you or asking about your plans, it could be because she spends her days in the company of others.
“Flat tires, dead batteries, traffic jams, spending extra time at the gym, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether may also signal infidelity,” writes Robert Weiss Ph.D., MSW in Psychology Today.
When you ask for some of her time, she may become irritated and label you as needy. Of course, her defenses are all she has to keep you at bay.
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#11. She will decline your marriage proposal.
You adore her. You thought she was in love with you. Furthermore, you proposed, and she said no emphatically. While you may be surprised by her response and feel rejected, there could be deeper reasons for your feelings. Everyday Health states that if a person has reservations about moving in or getting married, it could be a sign of cheating.
According to Maria Bustillos, author of Act Like a Gentleman, Think Like a Woman, someone who is not invested in the relationship may be looking for an exit, making them less likely to commit. She doesn’t see the point of getting married if she’s cheating. Another question is why she doesn’t just call it quits with you.
#12. She is discussing “her” future.
When you discuss the future, you notice that her use of the word “we” is mysteriously absent. She may laugh and claim that she is referring to the two of you, but people who are in love include one another in their plans. Indeed, one of the simplest ways to tell if someone loves you before they say it is if they include you in their future plans.
#13. You’ve caught her telling lies.
It may be difficult to trust her if you have already caught her lying about who she is with or where she has been. Shirley Arteaga, a certified coach, says, “The human body is amazing in its capacity for discerning the truth in others.”
“There are usually signs of a BPD cheating partner, and if you trust your instincts, you’ll be able to figure it out quickly.” For whatever reason, women try to conceal their mistakes rather than own them. Men, on the other hand, do the same.
#14. She never tells you where she’s going.
She’s all dressed up and ready to go out, but you have no idea who she’ll be with, and she just dismisses it with a short answer like “just a few friends.” It is not necessary for you to know her every move, but it is normal to ask questions and be interested in what your girlfriend is doing. She may be cheating on you if she used to tell you but now keeps you in the dark.
#15. She becomes enraged when you ask her questions.
If you’ve reached a point of frustration and feel the need to talk to her about what’s going on, she’ll be angry if you start asking questions about whether or not she’s cheating on you. According to Caleb Backe, Health and Wellness Expert at Maple Holistics, unexplained mood swings could be one of the signs your BPD girlfriend is cheating.
When reviewing the above BPD cheating signs, keep in mind that “your significant other could display all…these signs and still not be cheating,” according to Robert Weiss Ph.D., MSW in Psychology Today. “It may not be cheating, but there is almost certainly something you and your significant other should discuss.”
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you know if your partner has borderline cheating?
They have no empathy for you; you are an object for their needs. When BPD cheats on you, that’s not cheating in their eyes; they just want sex, and when they want sex, they’ll have it with someone in a minute, and they don’t care about your feelings because, due to the disorder, they’ll never be in your shoes.
Can BPD be faithful?
We’re loyal partners and friends.
Though it is commonly assumed that we have unstable relationships – and indeed, this is one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As previously stated, we have a tendency to put ourselves last. Relationships are extremely important to us, and we are extremely loyal.
How do you know if your borderline is lying?
Shame. Furthermore, people with BPD frequently experience deep and entrenched shame. Lying may be one method of concealing mistakes or weaknesses that increase feelings of shame. People with BPD are frequently sensitive to rejection, so one function of lying could be to conceal mistakes so that others do not reject them.
Should I marry someone with BPD?
The stability of a partner, on the other hand, may have a positive effect on the emotional sensitivities that people with BPD experience. Long-term relationships and marriages for people with BPD are possible with a lot of effort from both partners.