We all respond to 5 different love languages. A love language is simply how we prefer to receive love from someone or express love to someone. However, it is mostly unspoken. This means that even if my partner and I have different love languages, there is no scenario where I would plainly tell them that “this is my love language”.
Some partners however take initiative by trying to find out their partner’s love language. Yeah, cute right? But trust me, it’s way beyond cute. When you take time to search and study your partner, it, in turn, helps you to find out their love language as well as understand them even better. So it’s a win-win situation here.
Here comes the hard part though. How do you know your partner’s love language without necessarily asking? Let’s find out then.
WHAT ARE THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES LIST
Generally, on the list of love languages, there are just 5 of them. They include;
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Physical Touch
4. Acts of Service
5. Receiving Gifts
5 LOVE LANGUAGES IN RELATIONSHIPS
#1. Words of Affirmation:
The word of affirmation love language simply entails expressing affection plainly through spoken words, praise, or even appreciation. How do you know if this is your partner’s love language? If you’ve been able to observe that he/she enjoys kind words, encouragements, quotes, and poetry, then for sure, this is your partner’s primary love language. In other words, a person can have more than one love language.
#2. Quality Time:
I personally love it when my partner gives me undivided attention especially when I’m talking. This is another love language. Does your partner enjoy eye contact? Or often appreciates when you put your devices away just to talk to show you are actively listening to them? Well, this is definitely their love language. This is often common with introverts. Like you already know, they hardly talk. So when they decide to have a conversation and you don’t look interested or aren’t paying attention, it’s becoming a major turn-off. How then do you get around this? Well, it’s simple; avoid being absent-minded when you’re with them. Plus always keep eye contact; not excessively or in a weird kind of way though.
#3. Physical Touch:
When we talk about the physical touch love language, we don’t mean only sexual interactions. Physical touch love language usually involves someone who feels loved by physical affections; sometimes, publicly.
Some signs your partner likes the physical touch love language is;
a. They enjoy holding your hand either in public or private.
b. They are really big huggers.
c. They enjoy cuddling and canoodling when they are close to you.
#4. Acts of Service:
When an individual’s primary love language is acts of service, they feel loved or appreciated when people do nice things for them. It could be something so simple as getting help when they are doing dishes or something as a little complex as cooking a nice dinner for them. These things go straight to the person’s heart.
#5. Receiving Gifts:
Love can be symbolic and some people enjoy receiving gifts as their primary love language. But it isn’t always about the size or amount of the gifts or even surprises that counts but the time and effort put in it.
In other words, picking a gift for them makes them feel special. And that’s because you took out time to do that. It as well proves you really know them and it always packs such an impact on them.
5 LOVE LANGUAGES TEST
The love language test, like a school test, will help you determine what category you or your partner falls under. Remember that in some cases, it’s possible to have more than one love language. So be open-minded and keep your fingers crossed. Possible test questions are;
#1. You are feeling a little down, so you’d really like your partner to:
a. Say, ‘I know it’s hard and I admire your courage. (If this is your answer to this question, your primary love language is a word of affirmation.)
b. Come home early to spend a cozy evening with you. (Your primary love language is definitely an act of service.)
c. Offer you a surprise weekend of relaxation. (You enjoy gifts and surprises. Then your primary love language is receiving gifts.)
d. Take you in their arms and make you forget it all. (Your primary love language is physical touch.)
#2. In general, you don’t like it when your partner:
a. Criticizes what you do. (You’re sensitive to criticism or plainly said words. Then your love language is definitely words of affirmation. Words can hurt you and as well make you feel better.)
b. Is always thinking about their work or material things (shopping, housework, computer, etc.). (You are sensitive to neglect. So your primary love language is quality time. You enjoy your partner paying attention to you. As well if he does it’s annoying to you.)
c. Never give you any presents. (Receiving gifts is definitely your primary love language)
d. Doesn’t kiss you when entering or leaving the house. (You are a sucker for the physical touch love language. Then that is your primary love language.)
#3. You partner explains that they won’t be dining with you this evening. You’d:
a. Appreciate the fact that they took the time to discuss it with you. (Acts of Service, that is your primary love language.)
b. Like if your partner paid for movie tickets for you and some of your friends. (They took initiative, so your love language is receiving gifts.)
c. Love if they’d order in a nice meal for you to compensate for their absence. (Your primary love language is also receiving gifts.)
d. Take that long hot bath you’ve been dreaming about. ( Then quality time definitely does it for you, trust me.)
If any of these love languages dominate your test then that is definitely your love language. However, some of your answers can also be spontaneous depending on mood changes. So the other option you’d rather pick is your secondary love language.
Love Languages FAQ’s
What does acts of service mean?
Acts of Service is a phrase used in intimate relationships that may best be described as doing something for your spouse that you know they would like, such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or making them a meal. You give up your time when you perform Acts of Service.
What is physical touch love language?
If physical contact is your love language, it implies you value physical demonstrations of love over all other expressions (such as verbal compliments or gifts). This may seem self-evident, but there are both personal and non-intimate touches that may and should be utilized to express your love for your partner.
What do you do when your husband doesn't speak your love language?
First, make sure you’ve identified your love languages. Second, find out what your partner’s love languages are. Third, consider establishing a 30-day trial period in which each of you speaks the other’s love language. Finally, have a talk about how it feels to be loved.