It’s a no-brainer that dealing with emotional abuse can really be really tricky. However, there are simple tests that can probably help you figure out if you are in an abusive relationship. As I always say, the first step to solving a problem is realizing you have a problem. And in a scenario such as this, an emotional abuse test would suffice…
EMOTIONAL ABUSE TEST
Emotional abuse deals with constant manipulation and thirst for control over another person’s emotions. On the other hand, an emotional abuse test helps you understand the state of your relationship. That is, it helps you determine if you are currently being emotionally abused or not, and you just don’t realize it.
There are two basic tests for some case scenarios of emotional abuse. They are;
1. Emotional Abuse in Marriages.
2. Emotional Abuse in Families (Parent-Children).
EMOTIONAL ABUSE MARRIAGE TEST
A lot of people are emotionally abused in their relationships, but they don’t know how to spot it when they see it. This simple emotional abuse test would help you clarify things.
1. Does your partner never admit if he or she is wrong?
a. Yes
b. No
2. Is your partner always having difficulty accepting your choices, opinions, needs, or expectations?
a. Yes
b. No
3. Is he or she not always caring and insensitive?
a. Yes
b. No
4. Are you always ignored by your partner?
a. Yes
b. No
5. Is it always hard to defend your opinions when you are with your partner?
a. Yes
b. No
If most or all of your answers are “yes,” then you are definitely in an emotionally abusive marriage. I know it’s probably scary and tough. But trust me, you’d get through it.
PARENTAL EMOTIONAL ABUSE TEST
Most times, the hardest scenes of emotional abuse to overcome are in our families. When parents are emotionally abusive to their children, it has at least an 80% chance of affecting the rest of their lives. So you have to be able to identify if you’re in a parent-children abusive relationship.
#1. Constant manipulation:
It’s normal for parents to scold their kids when they do something wrong. But it becomes a problem when parents start using words like “Other kids have had it wrong” or “Look how much I gave up for you” rants. The experience of growing up with one of these parents is usually traumatizing.
Experts say that kids with these emotionally manipulative parents usually have unsatisfied emotional needs. Emotionally abusive parents may view their children as accessories to impress others and will manipulate their emotions in order to produce a good impression in public.
Are these things that you’re currently experiencing with your parents? Or, as a parent, do you do these things for your kids? It’s all emotionally abusive to your kids, so you can do better.
#2. Don’t apologize for much.
It can be tough to deal with unapologetic parents. Emotionally abusive parents usually lack the willingness or ability to acknowledge their actions, and it impacts their kids negatively. Apologies usually foster emotional stability, especially when a parent apologizes and means it by doing better.
But the emotionally inconsiderate parents hardly take that route. And when they do, they don’t mean it. In most cases, they do the same thing the next day. There is a clear marker for emotional abuse.
CHILD EMOTIONAL ABUSE TEST
In an abusive household, a child’s emotions are treated as irrelevant or seen as competitive to the emotions of the parent who’s abusive. Sometimes, it becomes a battle for dominance and control. The kids’ emotions are always dominated and invalidated, even when the parents are the ones with the problem.
In an emotionally abusive situation, most kids are faced with an alarming and overwhelming problem. How do they cope in a household with invalidated emotions? These kids might grow up constantly putting their feelings to the side to prioritize their parent’s needs or being extremely anxious about boundaries in relationships with other people around them.
They grow up with the mentality that emotions are supposed to be shoved deep down and, in turn, become “the abusive parents.” It’s a vicious cycle.
By now, you’d probably be able to understand those hidden feelings you might have. Emotional abuse can be hard to deal with. However, seeing a professional can help put things in place.
What is the difference between mental and emotional abuse?
Many psychological abuse strategies are also categorized as emotional abuse and vice versa. The difference between the two is that psychological abuse has a greater impact on a victim’s mental capabilities. While emotional abuse influences how people feel, psychological abuse influences how they think.
What is the cycle of emotional abuse?
The cycle of abuse is a four-stage cycle that describes how abuse can arise in relationships. If the abuse follows this pattern, the stages—tension, incident, reconciliation, and calm—repeat themselves.
Where do you go for emotional abuse?
If you or someone you know is being abused mentally or emotionally, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides 24/7 discreet and anonymous assistance via phone, text, or even online chat, as well as assistance in finding refuge or other services.
