These “how well do you know your partner” questions can also serve as a springboard for a larger discussion. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for a while, or maybe you’ve just gotten engaged, but you’re still not sure where they stand on certain issues or values that are important to you. You may feel as if you missed the right time to ask some more personal questions, such as “how well do you know your partner,” or that you don’t really know each other on a deeper level. Set up a game night with your partner in which you both ask each other “how well do you know me?” questions! Also, “How well do you know me?” questions can be a light and fun way to start a more serious conversation.
However, you and your partner approach the “how well do you know me as your partner” questions; whether for a date night, game night, or casual Friday night, the experience was enjoyable and you learned something about your partner. Perhaps you’ve grown stronger as a couple as well!
A Few Additional Ways You Can Use These How Well Do You Know Me As Your Partner Questions
While these questions appear straightforward, they can be used in a variety of ways. Here are some starter questions to get you started. However, keep in mind that you can be as creative as you want with this exercise because the goal is to have fun and get to know the other person better:
- Ask the questions about “how well do you know me as your partner” exactly as they are: When you use this strategy, you will be asking your significant other to answer the how well do you know me as your partner questions about you.
- Engage in a discussion about the “how well do you know me as your partner” questions: You can simply state your answers to each other instead of asking them “how well do you know me?” That way, no one has to guess or remember what the other person’s response to any of these questions is.
- Respond to all of the “how well do you know me as your partner” questions at once: The questions can be used to create an entire date night. Take your answers to dinner and discuss them over your meal.
- Write down your responses to the following questions: If you don’t want to risk the other person’s response being influenced by your response or what you say first, you can both go through and write down your answers to the questions. When you’re both finished, you can talk about your answers.
- Only answer one “how well do you know me as your partner” question at a time: You can use this as an ongoing exercise instead of going through the entire list in one sitting. If you’ve known each other for a while and are in a relationship, the first few questions are relatively simple.
How Well Do You Know Your Partner Questions
How well do you know your partner, and also how well do they know you? The longer you date, the more you’ll discover about each other; however, let’s be honest. How often do we pause to ask our partners those probing, life-changing questions?
This question quiz will put your mutual knowledge to the test. Simply take out a piece of paper (or open your Notes app), write down your answer, and then share your answers with each other. For example, you’ll each write down what you believe is your partner’s favorite movie. In the end, you’ll each say what you thought the other’s answer would be, and then you’ll find out whether you were correct or incorrect. To get a final tally, mark the ones you get right.
After you’ve asked and answered all of the questions and tallied your final tally, you can calculate your score and also read about what your results mean for you as a couple below.
Warm-up Questions include:
- Their favorite film?
- Best food would they never get tired of eating?
- What is the one color they never wear?
- What is their favorite beverage?
- Would they rather go out or stay in on Friday night?
- What is their favorite book?
Concerns about the Past:
- Who was their childhood best friend?
- When they were younger, what did they want to be when they grew up?
- What was their favorite school subject?
- Did they work part-time as a teen?
- How was their high school experience?
- Did they have a good relationship with their family when they were a child?
- Where is their favorite place they’ve visited?
- What is their greatest regret?
- What do they long for from their childhood?
- Do they have a “someone who got away”?
- What has been their most spiritual experience?
- What do you believe is the most important factor in their future?
- What is the top item on their bucket list?
- In the future, where do they want to live?
- What is their next step in their career?
- Do they want children?
- Do they want to return to their hometown or never return?
- Would they be interested in a long-distance relationship?
- Major goals in their five-year plan?
- What are their thoughts on marriage?
- What is their greatest concern for the future?
- Their most appealing feature?
- What is their biggest stumbling block?
- What is their most extreme fantasy, kink, or fetish?
- Their most preferred position?
- Do they like quickies or prefer to take their time?
- Where do they prefer to have sex?
- How do they enjoy being teased?
- Do they enjoy using sex toys?
- Do they enjoy porn?
- Which social cause is most important to them?
- The quality do they most admire in others?
- What are their political perspectives?
- What is the importance of money to them?
- Which is a better investment for them: experiences or objects?
- What are their feelings about open relationships?
- How are they working on self-improvement and self-growth?
- What factors have the most influence on their decisions?
- In relationships, what is a non-negotiable for them?
- How do they like to express their love?
- How do they prefer to be loved?
- Do they prefer to be passive or confrontational?
- In what way do they prefer to be apologized to?
- In an argument, do they respond quickly or do they need time to process?
- Do they prefer logic or emotion?
- Which do they prefer to be introverted or extroverted?
- Do they prefer structure or spontaneity?
- What is their preferred method of communication (other than in person)?
- What do they find most appealing about you?
What the results say about you as a couple
Here’s an example of what the results could mean for your relationship:
- 30 or less correct: Don’t be concerned. Most likely, you haven’t been together that long or haven’t prioritized some of these more important conversational topics. But you have a lot of potential to get to know each other better, which is exciting! It’s time to get started.
- 30 to 40 correct: You know a lot about your partner, but there’s still a lot more to learn as your relationship grows stronger.
- 40-55 correct: You know your partner like the back of your hand, which is fantastic! You’ve probably known each other for a long time. Also you simply value conversation and curiosity with each other.
According to licensed marriage and family therapist and sex therapist Holly Richmond, Ph.D., LMFT, CST, the longer you’ve been together, the better you’ll do on this quiz. Don’t be concerned if you didn’t perform as well as you would have liked; this simply means that you should prioritize getting to know each other better.
If you’re dissatisfied with your results, there are some things you can do to get to know each other better.
Of course, quizzes like this are entertaining, but having a daily practice of checking in with each other is “a really wonderful thing to do,” according to therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW. He suggests making time for each other every day and coming up with a thoughtful question or two that can help; you both root in your connectedness, whether from this list or something you come up with on your own.
Richmond also suggests simply being curious with each other on a regular basis. “At least once a week, sit down and give each other your undivided attention, with eye contact and no distractions.” Ask each other questions (such as, “How well do you know me as your partner?”), be genuine in your interest in each other, and simply enjoy the process of getting to know each other.
Whether you aced this quiz or there’s still more to learn, the bottom line is that we need to know who we’re dealing with. When we consciously learn about our partners, we not only see them as they truly are, but we also give them the gift of being seen and understood.
How Well Do You Know Your Partner Quiz?
Maybe you’ve been together for a week, or maybe you’ve been together for years and are married. In any case, there are still things you can learn about each other. We created this quiz about personal preferences, memories, and opinions to help you find the missing puzzle pieces when it comes to your partner. Compare your answers to see if your partner guessed correctly!
Questions & Answers
1. What is your partner’s ideal vacation?
A. A trip to Paris
B. Backpacking in the woods
C. Relaxing on a beautiful beach
D. Traveling across the country
2. What is your partner’s least favorite color?
3. What was your partner’s childhood pet?
4. What was your partner’s favorite school subject?
5. What is your partner most afraid of?
C. Lightning strikes
D. Limited space
6. What is your significant other’s favorite pastime?
A. Book reading
B. Participating in video gameplay
C. Participating in football
D. Socializing with friends
7. What is your partner’s favorite type of food?
8. How many previous relationships has your partner had?
B. 1 or 2
C. 3 to 5
D. More than 5
9. What irritates your partner the most?
A. Dishes in the kitchen sink that are filthy
B. Pet hair everywhere in the house
C. Food that has been tampered with in the refrigerator
D. You talking on the phone for more than 5 minutes in their presence.
10. What is the most idiotic thing your partner has recently done?
A. Theft of merchandise
B. Making fun of a neighbor
C. Overcooking the steak
D. Being duped by a door-to-door salesperson
Additional Relationship Enhancement Suggestions
Relationships are difficult to maintain, and simply getting to know each other will not help you get through difficult times or advance in your career. Along with these “how well do you know me as your partner” questions, having a few additional pointers that will make it easier to gain traction in your relationship with another person can be beneficial. Here are a few pointers to get you started; use them whenever you have “how well do you know me as your partner” conversations!
1. Use What You’ve Learned to Show Your Appreciation
Knowledge is only useful when applied to what you’ve learned. Don’t let your newfound understanding of your partner go to waste. Use their likes and needs to your advantage by planning date nights or making gifts that demonstrate that you both listen and care. Use what you’ve learned from your “how well do you know me as your partner” questions and conversations to demonstrate that you listen.
2. Recognize that you may not always have the same hobbies or interests.
Some people believe that in order to be compatible, you must share the same interests as your partner. While you should have some things in common, not having things in common can keep a relationship going even longer and allow you to explore things you were unaware of. Accept (and embrace) the fact that you are not the same as your partner.
A relationship can thrive even if you do not share the same personality. While you’re answering each other’s questions, keep in mind that you’re still learning about each other. Understand that it’s okay if you and your partner disagree on some points.
3. Make communication a priority.
Many people will prioritize communication at first, but then abandon it when they believe it is no longer necessary. Communication is always required, and it must be maintained! Schedule open conversations with your partner throughout the week. It’s also possible that you’ll discover during your “how well do you know me as your partner” conversations that your partner prefers to engage in open communication at random throughout the week. Remember to prioritize communication, regardless of how you both prefer to communicate.
4. Contacting BetterHelp
Do you still have the impression that things are up in the air between the two of you? If you’re not sure if you’re in a healthy relationship, online counseling services like BetterHelp are a great way to talk through your relationship issues; with an unbiased counselor who can help you gain the insight you need to decide what you want moving forward.
Perhaps you discovered during your discussions that you aren’t on the same page about how to split finances; or perhaps you discovered that one person wants to wait ten years before having children, while the other only wants to wait a few years. Licensed therapists can help you focus on healthy communication, compromise, and commitment in the face of disagreements (if both partners want the relationship to last).
Regardless of whether your relationship is old or new, learning more about your partner will help to strengthen it and keep the mystery alive. Learn more about what questions to ask and also how to apply them to your relationship to help you fall deeper in love with your partner. But with the right tools, you can have a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship. Make the first move.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you know if your partner is okay?
What it looks like
- Communicate openly. Partners in healthy relationships typically discuss what is going on in their lives, including their successes, failures, and everything in between….
- Have faith….
- A sense of self as a distinct individual…
- Take some time apart….
- Laughter or lightheartedness….
- Physical closeness….
Who knows me better questions to ask?
Select a few of these get-to-know-you questions to break the ice and get to know people better.
- Who is your personal hero?
- Where would you live if you could live anywhere?
- What is your most terrifying fear?
- Which of the following is your favorite family vacation?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What really irritates you?