Relationships aren’t easy, but far too many couples abandon their relationship prematurely, only to repeat the same dysfunctional patterns in their next relationship. The truth is that most teams can thrive and last in the long run if they are both willing to work on it. The article will go over how to make a relationship work.
You can usually tell when your relationship is on the verge of disintegrating. The energy is off, hostile, or tense, or you’ve been fighting a lot with no satisfactory resolution. If you’re going through a breakup right now, don’t give up hope just yet. Just because you’re in hot water doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel. There are almost always ways to make your relationship work again if you care deeply about your partner and are both committed to making the relationship work.
How to Make a Relationship Work Again
Whether you’re in a 50-day or a 50-year relationship, here’s how to make it work:
#1. Accept conflict as a natural part of life.
Perfection can only be found in Hollywood. Disagreements occur. Unless you’re dealing with serious issues (e.g., unfaithfulness, abuse, addictions, legal issues, or violence), don’t abandon a relationship because you’ve hit a rough patch. As you travel through storms together, your trust and commitment grow stronger.
#2. Grow yourself up emotionally.
Most people, even the most “good” people, engage in dysfunctional behaviors that are harmful to themselves and others. Defensiveness, poor communication skills, and a lack of emotional intelligence are some of the most common. You probably have an intuitive sense of where you need to improve, but if you don’t, try soliciting feedback from your partner, close friends, or even exes.
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#3. Respect each other’s space.
Even people who are in happy, loving relationships require time alone. Healthy couples can spend time apart from each other working on their own goals, spending time with their friends and hobbies, and simply doing their own thing.
#4. Adopt an “I’m awesome” mentality.
Your self-worth is determined solely by you. Far too many people base their sense of self-worth on whether or not they have a partner and then on the success of their relationship. However, how you feel about yourself should have nothing to do with your relationship status or your partner’s whims and moods.
#5. Look after your own needs.
You’re not a child; you’re an adult. As a result, you are in charge. Do you need a nap? Accept it. Do you want ice cream? Have a few. Do you want to go to the movies? Enjoy. You can ask the other person to assist you in meeting your needs when you are working together. However, they, like you, have their own set of needs and issues. They might say no.
How to Make a Relationship Work When It’s Falling Apart
Here’s how to save your relationship if you and your partner want to try to work things out and, if possible, stay together:
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#1. Make no hasty decisions.
Many people reach a breaking point in their relationship—a terrible fight or transgression, a grueling and unspoken sex drought, a dysfunctional pattern that has repeated itself one too many times—and decide to leave.
#2. Be brutally honest with yourself.
Don’t waste your time trying to mend your relationship alone—it won’t work. If your partner isn’t involved, get them to: Discuss your concerns with them openly and let them know you’re thinking about whether the relationship can work. Don’t threaten to end the relationship, but make sure they understand how serious you are about these issues.
#3. Seek professional help.
Seek professional assistance! Both Zimmerman and another couples’ counselor, Margaret Paul, Ph.D., emphasize the value of having an outside expert’s perspective, someone who understands the common pitfalls couples fall into and has experience helping them out of them.
#4. Recognize how you are contributing to the problem.
Beware of the blame trap. You can be upset about something your partner does, but make sure you’re taking time to seriously reflect on how you’ve contributed to your dynamics, negative energy, and problems.
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#5. Concentrate on self-healing.
This is distinct from simply acknowledging your role in your relationship’s difficulties. This is about realizing how much inner work you still have to do.
How to Make a Relationship Work when one has a child
It’s natural for a little space to form between you and your partner, whether you have newborns or teenagers. So, how do you stay connected as things continue to change? Here are four strategies for refocusing your relationship and regaining lost intimacy.
#1. Make Time to Talk at the End of the Day
It is critical to communicate. Don’t assume your partner knows how you feel because they might not—and then you’ll be angry when they don’t, Dr. Snyder emphasizes. What was her solution? Let’s talk about it! “It’s critical to prioritize communication and to make holding anything back.”
#2. Embrace the Small Things
As any parent will tell you, having a few moments of peace to lie down or drink a cup of coffee is essential. It was easy to take those moments for granted before having children. Once they’re born, it’s critical to recognize and appreciate the small things that help you get through the day.
#3. Make Date Night a priority.
Date night can easily fall through the cracks due to your hectic schedule with the kids. Plan a night just for the two of you as soon as you’re comfortable leaving them with a family member, close friend, or sitter!
#4. Rekindle the Physical Fire
It’s normal for reconnecting in the bedroom to take time. Dr. Snyder explains that after having a baby, women often need more time to get back into the swing of things. It’s important for them to take it slowly, whether it’s because they want to breastfeed (if they want to), they’re uncomfortable with their bodies, or they’re in pain. “There are so many reasons why it has to be slow and completely directed by the woman,” she says.
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How to Make a Relationship Work after cheating
It is possible to heal from an affair if both you and your partner are willing to take the necessary steps, but it will be a long road. Here are a few important steps you can take together to help repair your relationship.
“A sufficient level of remorse is required.” So, if you’re the cheating partner, you owe it to yourself to feel deeply sorry. It can’t be something that comes across as casual. “There has to be a profound sense of regret and remorse for what happened,” Elmquist says.
#2. Tell the truth about what happened.
This is the most difficult step, and it will largely determine whether or not you can proceed. “People can make bad decisions at times,” Mahoney says. “The question then becomes: does that poor decision and/or symptom(s) now have to determine the future of a relationship?” The answer is heavily influenced by the factors that led to the affair.
If the affair is truly over, taking physical steps to cut off contact with the person and establish boundaries is critical to your partner’s healing.
#4. Proceed with brutal honesty and care.
Being cheated on is harmful for a variety of reasons, but one major factor that must be addressed to move on is a lack of honesty. “Lying is a huge part of the betrayal,” says Doares, which is why she encourages the cheater to be brutally honest about all the details of the affair to move forward — not just the ones that will hurt his or her partner the least.
#5. Be cautious about who you tell.
Your first instinct may be to broadcast your partner’s transgressions on social media for all to see, which Travis McNulty, LMHC, a therapist in Florida, says is a common coping mechanism. “I’ve seen people in this position go to great lengths to hurt their spouse in public,” he says.
How to Make a Relationship Work After a Breakup
Getting back together after a break can be difficult, but it is not impossible. Here are some things you can try to make the relationship work.
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#1. Make that both parties are on the same page.
Reconciliation will be impossible unless both you and your partner are willing to invest significant time and effort in rekindling the relationship. If one of you is less enthusiastic than the other, you’re likely to run into the same issues again and again.
#2. Communication Is Crucial
If you want your relationship to be healthy and successful, you must be willing to communicate with your partner honestly and without judgment. A happy relationship requires good communication, so make an effort to speak with and listen to your partner on a regular basis.
#3. Determine the cause of the breakup.
Once you and your partner are on the same page and can communicate openly, try to work together to figure out why your relationship didn’t work the first time. Just keep in mind that this isn’t about venting your frustrations or assigning blame, but rather about gaining a better understanding of your problems.
#4. Be patient and take it slowly
It will take time to rebuild your relationship. While you may be tempted to ignore the underlying problems in your relationship if you and your partner are doing better, it is sometimes better to start over, step by step, and get to know your partner again.
#5. Experiment and accept change
Following a breakup, it is often necessary to make a few changes in order to reinvent the relationship. Don’t be afraid to mix things up and try new things with your partner. By having fun and spending quality time together, you’ll remember what made your relationship special in the first place.
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Keep these relationship-building tips in mind as you continue to collaborate with your partner. You can make it through this turbulent season with dedication, understanding, care, and generosity. Remember, spring is just around the corner.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?
Here are 5 essentials for having a healthy relationship if you want to be that #relationshipgoals couple.
- Communication. You’ve probably heard the cliche “communication is key.” But here’s the thing: there’s a reason it’s a cliché.
How do you save a dying relationship?
Going through a rough patch when you live together is stressful no matter how you slice it.
- Make a weekly ‘couples meeting’ a priority.
- Learn to accept compromise.
- Spend time with friends who are not part of your relationship.
- Engage in physical affectionate contact.
- Don’t become addicted to romance.
What 3 things make a relationship work?
According to a new UK survey, the top three elements that make relationships work are honesty, communication, and commitment.
What makes a man happy in a relationship?
To make your man emotionally happy, you must pay attention to his needs and know when to give him space. To make your man sexually happy, you must be willing to try new things and be bold and adventurous. But the most important thing is that you’re having fun while pleasing your man.