Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, identified three distinct parenting styles based on her studies with preschool-aged children. Researchers would go on to explore the various parenting styles in the years to come, even adding a fourth. One of Baumrind’s first parenting approaches is permissive parenting.
Indulgent parenting is another term for permissive parenting. Parents that adopt this parenting style place fewer demands on their children. Discipline is rare because these parents have minimal expectations for self-control and maturity.
According to Baumrind, “are more receptive than demanding.” They are unconventional and lenient, requiring no mature behavior, allowing for significant self-control, and avoiding conflict.
Permissive Parents
This is a parenting style that combines low expectations with strong responsiveness. They are usually very caring, but they don’t set any limits or regulations. These parents don’t demand their children to be mature, and they frequently appear to be more of a friend than parents.
The so-called “helicopter parents” are the polar opposite of permissive parents. Permissive parents are highly loose and rarely develop or enforce any form of rules or structure, rather than hanging over their children’s every move. “Kids will be kids,” is frequently their credo. They are usually warm and loving, but they don’t try to control or discipline their children.
Permissive Parenting Characteristics:
- Are typically compassionate and loving to their children.
- Ask their children for their thoughts on important decisions.
- Instead of emphasizing responsibility, parents should emphasize their children’s independence.
- They have few norms or standards of conduct, and those that they do have are inconsistent.
- May bribe a child with toys, gifts, or food to get him or her to behave.
- Appear to be more of a friend than a parent.
- Don’t provide much in the way of structure or a schedule.
- Exercise caution when enforcing any form of penalty.
Permissive Parents Definition
On the surface, permissive parents appear to have a positive relationship with their children. Children are free to do anything they want, and parents frequently follow their children’s lead. According to the Michigan State University Extension, permissive parents are warm and affectionate, and they reject the idea of being in charge of their children. Although permissive parenting may appear to be based on love and understanding, according to Glicksman, this is not always the case.
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“All parents want the best for their children,” he continued, “but I believe that many parents adopt a permissive parenting style because they are terrified of their children not being happy or not being their ‘friend.” Permissive parents may let their children choose their own bedtime or snack, with no expectations of respect or etiquette. This is frequently well-intentioned, but it does not benefit children.
“What permissive parents fail to realize is that parents are not always supposed to be friends with their children; and that having parents who express their love by respecting their children’s preferences and opinions while also clearly communicating and setting boundaries often results in happier children in the long run,” Glicksman said.
Children of Permissive Parents
Permissive parenting may appeal to children since it provides them with unrestricted independence. However, in the long run, it could be hazardous. The following are characteristics of children who were raised by permissive parents:
- Emotional dysregulation.
- When their demands are questioned, they become rebellious.
- Lack of self-control and self-regulation.
- Have trouble adhering to the regulations.
- Ignore authority and lack discipline.
- They may not accept responsibility for their actions.
- There is a link between permissive parenting and behavioral issues and substance misuse in teenagers, according to research.
- They may be obnoxious and have a hard time sharing.
Children experience insecurity as a result of a lack of limits. To the youngsters, permissive parenting causes more harm than good. It does, however, have a few advantages.
Examples of Permissive Parents
Permissive parenting styles have the following traits and examples.
- Permissive parents are receptive to their children’s needs.
- Parenting that is indulgent; permissive indulgent parents rarely say no to their children’s wishes. They may also bribe their children with toys or food to get them to behave.
- Parents who are lenient and extremely lax; Permissive parents are lenient and unduly lax with their parents. They despise being in charge of their children. They don’t keep an eye on or direct their children’s behavior. always follow extremely few regulations and adhere to very few norms of conduct. Even when rules are in place, they are not consistently followed.
- Treat their children as peers or friends rather than children: Permissive parents want their children to think of them as friends rather than authority figures.
- Children’s autonomy over responsibility: Permissive parents assign their children very minimal duty, such as chores or homework.
- Leave youngsters alone to make big decisions that are normally designated for adult guardians.
Permissive Parents Effects
Permissive parenting is one of the worst parenting styles among the four Diana Baumrind parenting styles, according to child development specialists. In general, permissive parents do not watch or regulate their children. As a result, studies show that children with permissive parents have trouble with self-control, which can lead to a number of negative consequences. The following are some of the drawbacks of permissive parenting.
1. Worse academic results
Parents who are unconcerned about their children’s academic performance do not keep an eye on them. As a result, their children have less self-control. Permissive parents also don’t put pressure on their children to succeed or set a goal for them to achieve. Permissive parents’ children had inferior academic achievement, according to studies.
2. Aggressive and impulsive behavior
Permissive parents do not monitor or manage their children’s actions. As a result, their kids are less aware of the boundaries of appropriate behavior. They also have less impulse control and are more prone to behavioral issues. They are more likely to use aggression when confronted with stressful situations.
3. At risk for misbehavior, substance misuse, and alcoholism.
Because they have poor impulse control, children of permissive parents are more likely to be involved in crimes, substance misuse, and alcohol-related difficulties, according to studies.
4. Inability to self-regulate
We are not born with the ability to regulate our emotions. It is a skill that you must learn. Children of permissive parents have more difficulty self-regulating since they are left to govern their own activities, behavior, and emotions at an early age.
5. Inadequate social skills
According to studies, children raised by permissive disengaged parents have less empathy, which leads to poor social skills. They are more likely to engage in antisocial behavior.
6. Has a higher chance of being overweight
Permissive parents let their children eat whatever they want. When compared to children raised by authoritative parents, these children are twice as likely to be overweight.
Authoritative vs Authoritarian Parenting
The two most frequent parenting styles are authoritative and authoritarian parenting. Let’s compare the qualities and impacts of these two parenting approaches on children. Authoritative and authoritarian have a similar ring to them. In psychology, both of these parenting styles involve authority. Despite their identical titles, their philosophies and impacts on children are radically different.
In terms of traits, here’s the difference between authoritative and authoritarian parenting.
1. Warmth from the parents
Authoritative parents are more likely to be warm, nurturing, and responsive than authoritarian parents. Responsive parenting fosters stable attachment in children, according to Attachment Theory, which was created by psychologist Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s. Children who have a strong bond with their parents are happier and healthier. Many studies show that children raised by authoritative parents are happier than those raised by authoritarian parents.
Children from authoritative households have good emotional control because their parents are receptive to their children’s emotional demands. They build resilience and are able to bounce back swiftly from setbacks.
In terms of warmth and attentiveness, authoritarian parents are the polar opposite of authoritative parents. Authoritarian parents are distant and unresponsive to their children. They see children’s sensitive feelings as a sign of weakness, so they try to repress them.
2. Freedom
Parents who are authoritative allow their children to pursue autonomy and independence. Instead of strict control, they keep a careful eye on their children’s behavior and intervene when necessary. According to studies, parental supervision lessens a child’s likelihood of antisocial conduct, delinquency, and drug misuse. When parents watch their children in a friendly and caring connection, it is more likely to be productive and healthy.
Parents who are authoritative also involve their children in family choices. Communication in both directions is encouraged. Authoritarian parents, on the other hand, discourage their children from gaining independence. They don’t include youngsters in the decision-making process. Instead of requests from their parents, children are given orders.
3. Rules
Both authoritative and authoritarian parents are strict with their children and have high expectations. Authoritative parents are strict but warm, and authoritarian parents are frigid but strict. Parents that are authoritative discuss and explain regulations with their children. They are amenable to compromise and will change the rules if necessary. Children are taught to question the justifications for each rule. Children with authoritative parents are more assertive and have higher self-esteem because they are able to voice their thoughts and participate in decision-making.
Only one-way contact is permitted by authoritarian parents. They justify the rules by saying, “Because I said so.” Children are expected to obey without question and without questioning. They are not permitted to have or express opinions. Children are frequently “seen but not heard.” Children who have parents who have an authoritarian parenting style may feel uncomfortable and fearful.
4. Control
Both authoritative and authoritarian parents have high expectations for their children’s behavior and exert tight control over them. Authoritarian parents, on the other hand, exert psychological control over their children. They believe they are the authority, and that they are always correct. Their children must always embrace their judgment and ideals.
Authoritarian parents appear to be concerned about losing control of their children. As a result, they desire to do the polar opposite and become controlling parents in order to exert control over their children.
5. Discline
Authoritative parents tend to discipline their children through non-punitive methods such as time-out and natural consequences. Punitive punishment favors authoritarian parents. Surprisingly, while authoritative parents give their children more freedom and autonomy, their expectations are frequently higher than those of authoritarian parents. They are also more consistent in carrying out the penalty.
How to Change Permissive Parenting
If you have a tendency to be a pushover or have trouble enforcing boundaries, think about how you may build more authoritative parenting behaviors. This can be challenging at times because it frequently entails becoming stricter, enforcing rules, and dealing with your child’s distress. Consider the following strategies:
- Make a list of fundamental house rules. Your children must have a clear understanding of your expectations in order to know how they should behave.
- Continue reading. This can be the most difficult challenge for permissive parents, but it is critical. Make an effort to be firm and consistent while remaining compassionate. Provide adequate feedback and explanations to help your children understand why such rules are important, but make sure that consequences are in place as well.
- Ensure that your children are aware of the consequences of disobeying the rules. Guidelines are meaningless unless there is some type of penalty for not following them. Breaking the house rules should result in time-outs and the loss of privileges.
- Recognize and reward good behavior. When your children are acting excellent, try to catch them and give them special privileges.
Conclusion
Permissive parenting can lead to a variety of issues, so if you identify these indicators of permissiveness in your own parenting, it’s worth consciously trying to use a more authoritative approach.
If you’re a more permissive parent, consider how you can explain your expectations and standards to your children, and be consistent in your enforcement of these regulations. You can ensure that your children grow up with the skills they need to succeed in life by providing them with the correct combination of structure and support.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the 4 types of parenting styles?
4 Different Parenting Styles and Their Impact on Children
- Parenting in an authoritarian manner.
- Parenting with authority.
- Permissive parenting is the practice of allowing children to make their own decisions.
- Parenting Without Involvement.
What causes parents to be permissive?
Permissive parenting is frequently a reaction to a parent’s own childhood experience with authoritarian, punishing parenting. Instead of providing proper limits, these parents fail to prevent replicating the agony they experienced as children.
