One of the reasons young men in today’s society cannot move past the developmental stage known as “adolescence” is because there is an unhealthy dependence on one’s parents. What we do not realize is that the popular biblical phrase, “A man shall leave his father and his mother,” isn’t just applicable to Christians getting married. In reality, there are a couple of other scenarios where the “Genesis chapter two, verse twenty four” phrase plays out. There are also steps that lead to the point where the marriage talk starts.
But the question is, “What is the real meaning of the “a man shall leave his father and mother” phrase?” “What are your intentions about your parents?” “How can you make things work as a parent?”
Well, let’s go over what it means for a man to leave his mother and father literally and in biblical terms. We will also cover several ways they can go about it.
A Man Shall Leave His Father And Mother: Meaning
When this statement appeared in the Bible, the context was was geared towards trying to help readers come to terms with the fact that they would have to deal with getting married and leaving their family behind.
A Man Shall Leave His Father And Mother: Ways to Make it happen
#1. Move Out
Let us begin with the literal. Some of you need to leave your parents’ house.
That’s what a man is supposed to do, according to the Bible. He does not remain. He walks away.
Yes, there are times when living with your parents makes sense, but only for a specific purpose or for a set period. The goal should be to distance yourself from your father and mother. Living in your parents’ house indefinitely is unhealthy, especially if you are pampered.
Make a plan for leaving.
#1. Seek A Wife
Accoording to the bible context of the bible verse, the first interpretation of the bible verse is your departure from Mom and Dad is in pursuit of a wife.
No woman wishes to marry a man. A woman wishes to marry a man, and a man leaves his parents before pursuing a wife. Avoiding a clean break from mom and dad is one of the best ways to ruin a marriage. Make it easier on your wife by leaving well in advance of your wedding day.
#3. Take Care of Your Own Bills
I understand. There’s nothing wrong with your parents occasionally assisting you or possibly helping you pay for college. There is no such thing as a list of things your parents can and should pay for. Here is the question you must answer:
Is the financial assistance provided beneficial or detrimental to your manhood?
If your parents are emasculating you by doing too much financial provision for you, you must politely but firmly refuse. Don’t act like a jerk about it. Show gratitude for their willingness to assist while explaining your desire to be intentional in the things that will help you grow into a man.
#4. Make Your Own Choices
I know it is much easier to let Mom and Dad make all of your decisions for you, but a man abandons his father and mother. Leaving does not imply complete separation. It’s often a good idea to seek advice from your parents. However, a man is responsible for making his own decisions.
A man does not attend college without knowing what he wants to do, or simply because Mom and Dad want him to or because Mom and Dad are paying for it. Don’t let your parents fund your indecision or encourage you to avoid responsibility.
You must be decisive. College is full of boys avoiding responsibility, decisions, and, eventually, manhood, all while feeling justified because that’s what Mom and Dad wanted them to do. What does your heavenly Father wish for you to do?
Determine your goals and pursue them. If after a season of pursuing something, you’ve discovered that it’s not for you, humbly correct course and pursue something else.
Make your own decisions. Seek advice from your parents when making your own decisions, and resist manipulation at all costs.
On the other hand, beyond the idea that man shall leave his father and mother to seek a wife, let’s look at ways parents on the other hand can do better at their jobs. These tips will generally help men get ready to deal with relationships and marriage.
9 Ways to Improve Your Parenting
These 9 parenting hints will help you feel more fulfilled as a parent on one hand, and help a potential man fulfil the biblical phrase, “a man shall leave his mother and father,” when he should on the other.
1. Encourage Your Child’s Self-Esteem
When babies see themselves through their parents’ eyes, they begin to develop a sense of self. Your children pick up on your tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. More than anything else, your words and actions as a parent influence their developing self-esteem.
Praise for accomplishments, no matter how minor, will make them feel proud; allowing children to do things on their own will make them feel capable and strong. Belittling comments or unfair comparisons of one child to another, on the other hand, will make children feel worthless.
Avoid using words as weapons or making loaded statements. Comments such as “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause just as much damage as physical blows.
Choose your words wisely and with compassion. Tell your children that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them even if you don’t agree with their behavior.
2. Observe Children Behaving Well
Have you ever considered how many times you react negatively to your children in a given day? You might find yourself criticizing more than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who gave you so much negative advice, even if it was well-intended?
The more effective strategy is to catch children doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked — that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and noticed that you were very patient.” In the long run, these statements will do more to encourage good behavior than repeated scoldings.
Every day, make it a point to find something to praise. Be generous with your rewards — your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are frequently sufficient. Soon, you’ll notice that you’re “growing” more of the behavior you want to see.
3. Establish Limits and Stick to Your Discipline
Discipline is essential in every home. The goal of discipline is to teach children acceptable behaviors and self-control. They may test the boundaries you set for them, but they need those boundaries to mature into responsible adults.
Making house rules teaches children about your expectations and helps them develop self-control. Some ground rules might be: no TV until homework is completed, and no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing.
You might want to implement a system that includes a single warning followed by consequences such as “time out” or loss of privileges. Failure to follow through on consequences is a common mistake made by parents. You can’t discipline kids one day and then ignore them the next. Consistency teaches what to expect.
4. Schedule Time for Your Children
It is often difficult for parents and children to gather for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. But there is probably nothing more appealing to children. Get up 10 minutes earlier to eat breakfast with your child, or leave the dishes in the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who do not receive the attention they desire from their parents frequently act out or misbehave in order to be noticed.
Many parents find it rewarding to schedule time with their children. Make a “special night” for your family each week and let your children help you decide how to spend the time. Consider other ways to connect, such as leaving a note or something special in your child’s lunchbox.
Teenagers appear to require less undivided attention from their parents than younger children. Because there are fewer opportunities for parents and teens to interact, parents should make every effort to be available when their teen expresses a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen communicates care and allows you to learn more about your child and his or her friends.
If you’re a working parent, don’t feel bad about it. Kids will remember the many small things you do, such as making popcorn, playing cards, and going window shopping.
5. Be an Excellent Role Model
Young children pick up a lot about how to act from their parents. The younger they are, the more they will pick up on your cues. Before you lash out or lose your cool in front of your child, consider this: Is this how you want your child to act when he or she is angry? Be aware that your children are constantly watching you. According to studies, children who hit usually have an aggressive role model at home.
Model the qualities you want your children to have: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, and tolerance. Demonstrate selflessness. Do things for others without expecting anything in return. Thank you and offer compliments. Above all, treat your children the way you want others to treat you.
6. Make communication a top priority.
You can’t expect your children to do everything just because you, as a parent, “say so.”” They, like adults, want and deserve explanations. Children will begin to question our values and motives if we do not take the time to explain them. Reasoning with their children allows them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental manner.
Make it clear what you expect. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to collaborate with you on a solution. Include the ramifications. Make suggestions and provide options. Be open to your child’s ideas as well. Negotiate. Children who are involved in decision-making are more likely to carry them out.
7. Be adaptable and willing to change your parenting style.
If you frequently feel “let down” by your child’s behavior, it’s possible that you have unrealistic expectations. Parents who think in terms of “shoulds” (for example, “My kid should be potty-trained by now”) may benefit from reading up on the subject or speaking with other parents or child development specialists.
Because children’s environments influence their behavior, you may be able to change that behavior by changing the environment. If you find yourself saying “no” to your 2-year-old all the time, look for ways to change your environment so that fewer things are off-limits. This will make things easier for both of you.
Your parenting style will have to evolve as your child grows. What works for your child now may not work as well in a year or two.
Teens look to their peers for role models rather than their parents. However, continue to provide guidance, encouragement, and appropriate discipline while your teen gains independence. And take advantage of every opportunity to connect!
8. Show Your Unconditional Love
You are responsible as a parent for correcting and guiding your children. However, how you express corrective guidance makes a huge difference in how a child perceives it.
When confronting your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or finding fault, as this can damage self-esteem and lead to resentment. Instead, even when disciplining your children, try to nurture and encourage them. Make it clear to them that, while you hope and expect better the next time, your love is always present.
9. Recognize Your Own Parental Needs and Limitations
Face it: As a family leader, you have both strengths and weaknesses. Recognize your strengths: “I am loving and dedicated.” Make a commitment to improving your weaknesses — “I need to be more consistent with discipline.” Try to set reasonable goals for yourself, your partner, and your children. You don’t have to have all the answers; be gentle with yourself.
And make parenting a manageable task. Rather than attempting to address everything at once, concentrate on the areas that require the most attention. When you’re exhausted, admit it. Take some time away from parenting to do things that make you happy.
You are not selfish if you prioritize your needs. It simply means you are concerned about your own well-being, which is an important value to instill in your children.