Usually, emotional cheating begins simply enough as an at-will friendship. However, if a person devotes a significant amount of emotional time and effort to a close friendship outside of their marriage, the friendship is likely to develop an emotional bond that will eventually jeopardize and harm the person’s intimacy with their partner. Here we spell out the difference between emotional cheating vs friendship.
Emotional Cheating vs. Friendship
While some people think emotional cheating is okay because there is no sexual interaction involved, the majority of marriage and relationship specialists see it as a type of cheating. Emotional cheating may be a stepping stone to later emotional and sexual infidelity. The feeling of being fooled, betrayed, and lied to is often the most painful and terrible result of an emotional cheating relationship.
Emotional Cheating: What Is It?
When a person cheats emotionally, they not only commit more of their emotional resources outside of their marriage but also benefit from the emotional companionship and support of the other relationship.
Friendship Relationship
When the sharing of private information goes beyond the bounds established by the married couple, a platonic friendship might turn into emotional cheating. Emotional cheating vs friendship entails opening a door that ought to be closed.
An emotional cheat differs from a close platonic friendship in that the emotional involvement and level of intimacy are downplayed or even kept a secret from the spouse or partner.
Another significant distinction is that those who engage in emotional cheating frequently experience sexual attraction to one another. The sexual attraction is sometimes acknowledged and other times it isn’t.
Emotional Cheating
Everything begins with getting to know one another and developing friendships. Over time, though, you come to the realization that you’re thinking about that individual more than your partner. You end up referring to them as your close friend because you’re unsure of how to contribute to this friendship.
Actually, it is emotional adultery. Let’s examine how to spot it and put a stop to it before it’s too late.
Examples of Emotional Cheating Texts
There’s also the chance that you could emotionally cheat on your partner through texting. In this case, you might fall in love with someone while still not knowing that you’re cheating on your partner.
Everything begins with getting to know one another and developing friendships. Over time, though, you come to the realization that you’re thinking about that individual more than your partner. You end up referring to them as your close friend because you’re unsure of how to contribute to this friendship.
Actually, it is emotional cheating. Let’s examine how to spot it and put a stop to it before it’s too late.
#1. Lying About Your Relationship to another Person
Since you’re unsure about it, you hide things.
Emotional cheating occurs when you have to tell your partner a lie about the nature of your relationship with another person. You feel the desire because you are unsure or don’t want your partner to realize how deeply connected you are to that individual.
When you start keeping information from your spouse, you are starting a relationship.
Easily Expressing Private and Irritated Thoughts About Your Current Partner
Your partner and I have had private chats about your frustrations. Even your buddies can’t readily get access to it from you. But when you engage in emotional cheating, you talk about these problems.
You feel comfortable and are able to phone or text the individual and express all of your concerns and frustrations.
#2. You Smile as a Result of Their Text
When your partner texts you, you both smile. They can tell you what’s bothering them and you can tell them about yourself. You’re becoming more comfortable engaging in cheating.
You enjoy talking to them on the phone and messaging them.
Ideally, this should take place while you are alone, not with your spouse. This might be a precursor to emotional cheating.
#3. Sharing Information With Your Partner That You Should Keep to Yourself
It goes without saying that you should tell your partner every little thing you think and do. However, if you start texting emotional cheating, if you start discussing this information with someone else rather than your husband, you might find it challenging to recognize this distinction, but take a moment to consider whether you are being loyal to your partner. If the response is negative, you must evaluate the solution and proceed appropriately.
#4. Transmission of Offensive Messages
Examine your communications to see if they would be welcomed by your companion. When we talk to each other, we often ignore right and wrong and only talk about what we think is true. When doing so, be sure to consider your message from a stranger’s point of view to determine whether it is acceptable.
#5. Reading the Message Covertly
You wouldn’t hide somewhere to read a message from your loved ones or even coworkers. Instinctively, you know that whatever you’re doing is bad if you’re slipping away from your partner to read this person’s text. As a result, you are avoiding detection. Be on guard when this begins.
Don’t go too far with this, or you could get into an awkward scenario.
Emotional Cheating Examples
You and your husband have been experiencing some emotional distance, but you’re not sure if it’s because that person is now the new target of your emotional intimacy.
Above all things, you should follow your gut since you are much more familiar with your marriage and spouse than we are. But before you analyze your emotions and decide whether your current relationship is meant to last, have a look at these warning signs.
#1. One of You Has Been Keeping Your Phone Hidden
Secrecy is a relatively solid indicator that what you first believed to be a platonic relationship may actually be something more, even if there hasn’t been any physical contact outside of the marriage.
A married person wouldn’t immediately put their phone down when their spouse entered the room for no reason at all.
Your concerns are likely justified if your husband or wife consistently behaves in this manner. It’s probably time to consider how you feel about the friend you’ve been texting if this is something you’ve caught yourself doing.
Does the emotional connection you have with them go beyond simple platonic friendship, after all? If not, why do you think you need to keep something from your spouse?
#2. Your Partner or You are Constantly Gushing About Their New Companion
When a new friendship truly connects, it’s normal to feel thrilled and want to share your joy with your companion. But what does that remind you of if this new friend has become the major topic of conversation?
You were probably that talkative about your spouse when you two first met.
It’s a good idea to assess the level of intimacy in your marriage if you and your spouse have an excessive amount of emotional attachment, even if it doesn’t necessarily mean that divorce is in your future.
Even though a married couple won’t always be inseparable, having private conversations should be a regular part of any committed relationship. We all yearn for emotional connection, so if you and your spouse aren’t experiencing it together, one of you is probably experiencing emotional cheating.
#3. Neither You Nor Your Spouse’s Work Schedule has Altered
A shift in work hours could arise because you or your partner desire to spend more time with that dubious buddy, along with other indicators of emotional cheating. This might mean that the emotional cheating has progressed to a full-fledged extramarital relationship, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that.
Changing your work schedule with someone else in mind shows a new degree of dedication that we don’t typically make for our platonic pals, regardless of whether the connection has developed into physical adultery.
But there are so many other, benign reasons why you or your spouse would alter their schedule that this warning sign is especially dangerous. As a result, you must carefully consider the situational factors. You probably have a cheating partner on your hands if, for example, your spouse is “working” a lot more than normal but there doesn’t seem to be any extra money coming in.
You might not even care if it’s a physical cheating or just an emotional one at that point.
#4. You Think Your Husband Doesn’t Understand You as Well as This New Acquaintance Does
This fourth indication of emotional cheating only applies, of course, if you’re the one who might be having one. After all, you can’t read your spouse’s thoughts, and they aren’t likely to divulge information like this unless they are actively seeking a divorce.
The same reasoning, though, applies to your own feelings; if you have been thinking this, then it’s possible that your marriage is about to end.
Signs of Emotional Cheating vs. Friendship
How then can you tell a really intimate friendship from emotional cheating? Can you be friends with someone who belongs to the gender you find attractive sexually? How far do you go before engaging in emotional deception?
Here are some key indicators that your friendship is becoming too close:
- A sexual tension exists.
- Either you two are making out.
- You keep your spouse in the dark about things you’ve said or done with this friend.
- You don’t want to give your partner access to them.
- You go beyond the boundaries that you and your partner have established.
- Compared to your partner, you spend more time thinking about them.
- You divulge details of altercations or private matters involving you and your partner.
- You often use emoticons in your flirtatious text messages.
- You find yourself deleting correspondence with the other party out of concern for your relationship.
- You divulge facts, ideas, and sentiments to this person that you do not divulge to your partner.
- You often find yourself texting this other person even when you’re in a room with your partner.
- The link with your partner is being weakened by the time and effort you are investing in this other relationship.
- Rather than your partner, the first person you want to notify when something positive or negative occurs in your life is this friend.
- Rather than turning to your partner for solace, you seek this individual out.
- You often find yourself drawing comparisons between this individual and your relationship.
- You refer to this other person by their nicknames or endearing pronouns, such as “babe,” “honey,” or “sweetie.”
Why It Occurs
When emotional cheating starts, the phrase “s/he genuinely understands me in a way that my partner doesn’t” comes up over and over again. These kinds of encounters are typically a symptom of a deeper issue in your relationship. Usually, a connectivity issue is the cause of the issue.
Anytime you experience such a strong emotional bond with someone who is not in a committed relationship, that should raise red flags. It’s time to evaluate your relationship’s shortcomings and make changes if necessary. You must encourage intimacy if you want your partner to be the one to whom you open up about your day, your dreams, and your anxieties. When you are constantly texting, laughing at inside jokes, thinking about your “buddy,” and experiencing sex chemistry, you are probably not giving your relationship with your spouse much thought. This will only lead to disaster.
The 8 Most Common Motives for Cheating: How to Respond to It
You must cease the existing patterns with your pal if you want your relationship with your partner to work.
#1. Make the Friendship Relationship Public
You are no longer allowed to reveal sensitive information about your spouse or relationship, preserve secrets, or have private, intimate chats.
#2. Get Your Partner Involved
You need to talk to your partner about what transpired, and if you both determine that it’s in the best interest of the relationship to retain the friendship, start to involve your partner if you believe you can set reasonable boundaries and keep things civil in the friendship.
#3. Set Stronger Boundaries
Explain the new ground rules to your pal. Make sure you don’t place yourself in a position where you have to break such promises. Don’t go out drinking with them, stay up late watching Netflix in their home, snuggle on the couch with them, or engage in any other questionable behavior.
#4. Terminate the Union
You might need to break up with this friend if you feel that you cannot maintain emotional control, be respectful of your partner, and set clear boundaries with them.
#5. Examine-in Your Heart the Reasons You Might be Ruining Your Relationship
Spend some time considering the reasons you could be trying to ruin your relationship.
Think about it:
- Do you struggle with commitment?
- Do you believe you deserve the connection you have?
- Would you like to end the relationship but are afraid to do so?
- Do you let your partner know what you need?
- Are you making provisions for your partnership to prosper?
- Do you communicate honestly and openly with your partner?
- Are you being clear in your requests?
- Do you harbor unprocessed anger toward your relationship that hasn’t been resolved?
Conclusion
It’s crucial to stop the habit and gain an understanding of why you are in this situation if you discover that you are developing improper emotional relationships with people who are not in your relationship and who do not respect your commitment to your partner. Sometimes you can accomplish that by engaging in self-reflection, journaling, or reading self-help materials; other times, a professional therapist may be required.
Emotional Cheating VS. Friendship FAQS
What qualifies as emotional cheating?
When one spouse shares emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner, it is referred to as emotional cheating. This connection goes beyond what is appropriate for a platonic relationship and implies a betrayal of trust in the main partnership.
What is emotional friendship?
When two people have developed a level of emotional intimacy that is comparable to a romantic relationship but devoid of physical intimacy, this is referred to as an “emotional affair.”
Why do emotional affairs hurt so much?
In most cases, the first step toward a physical relationship is our emotional connection. Due to the fact that emotional cheating often veers dangerously close to becoming something more, it affects many people just as much.
