EMOTIONAL DAMAGE: HOW TO REBUILD LOVE AFTER EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Although, people now trivialize emotional needs, or even support. But they require more of our attention actually. Well, because when someone is emotional damaged, it affects every other area of their lives. But physical damage to the skin or parts of the body can easily be cured. But emotional damage tends to do with what we feel inside and how broken or numb we truly feel and it is not as easily fixed.


WHAT IS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Generally, emotional damage can be defined as a state of psychological pain or anguish that occurs in a variety of forms. Sometimes emotional damage results from a mental health issue or some unseen or dismissed mental issues or even financial abuse or difficulties. However, anyone can be emotionally damaged even when they do not meet the criteria for any psychological disorder on diagnosis.


CAUSES OF EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Emotional damage can be caused by a variety of reasons basically. They include;


1. Stress or Anxiety:

A typical example could be a life-threatening trauma like persistent bullying, domestic violence and abuse, bad attachment styles or many other cases basically.


2. Frequently overlooked situations:

There are various examples like sudden dead of a loved one, a nasty breakup of a relationship, or a even a very humiliating or deeply disappointing experience, especially when someone was deliberately callous.


3. One-time events:

For example; violent attack, injuries, or even an accident, or bad memories especially when it was unexpected or uncalled for and happened during your childhood.


SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

1. Eating or sleeping too much or too little:

Generally, being a foodie doesn’t mean you’re suffering from emotional damage. But this is one way someone going through emotional issues, vents… Comfort food like ice cream, pizza and junk basically. Additionally, excessive sleep. Although, it affects people differently, some people become nocturnal and suffer from insomnia. While the other basically sleep to escape their problems.


2. Pulling away from friends and things in general:

Distancing yourself from people is very typical for an emotionally damaged person. When you sense a particular friend suddenly drift, then he or she might be going through an emotional trauma and that’s his coping mechanism.


3. Having little or no energy:

Easily fatigued. This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re always tired but things that excites you, don’t thrill you anymore.


4. Feeling helpless or hopeless:

Detachment is usually one of the first things that happens and when you feel detached, it might be calming at first. But that feeling of loneliness creeps in. Basically, you feel helpless, hopeless and alone that no one will understand how you feel.


5. Substance Abuse:

When you notice your friend who is a teetotaler, all of a sudden loves booze, smoking, drinking, or taking drugs. Then he or she is definitely trying to run from the wreckage that is his life.


6. Worrying a lot of the time; feeling guilty but not sure why:

This is purely typical because I once experienced that. I was always jittery and guilty and basically not myself. This is how it is for people that have been or are currently emotionally damaged. During this period, you don’t even have the courage to seek for help. Because you’d blame everything on you, that it’s your fault.


7. Thinking of hurting or killing yourself or someone else:

Suicidal tendencies also kick in. You feel your life in shambles so you just want to end it all basically. But you still have so much to live for and unrealized potential. But you can see these things at point. Additionally, you might as well feel homicidal and you want to kill who so ever was responsible for making you feel that way.


8. Having difficulty read, adjusting to home or work life or balancing your life in general:

You lose focus and your once stable life is just that. You can’t balance anything, you’re not meeting up to the standard you want so suicidal thoughts also flood in but what do you do? Basically, you might not even be looking for help because you narrow your mind and tell yourself you’re beyond help.


REBUILDING LOVE AFTER EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

It is paramount that you are both ready to approach repairing your relationship basically. There are five easy steps you can follow when you want to rebuild your relationship after emotional damage;

1. Always Express Feelings:

Don’t push it down. List all the emotions you each experienced (angry, disrespected, overwhelmed, sadness basically every amount of pain). No commentary, explanation, or judgment accompany this step, simply just express how you feel in general.


2. Share and Validate:

Decide who will start and who would listen first, and honor the rules so when you start the conversation, there’s order. When you’re the one speaking at that time, ensure you share everything even the bad parts, don’t cover up anything. However, you must do this without as low criticism as possible to the listener. Instead, use “I” statements to convey what you noticed and needed at that time, basically its called talking responsibility. When you’re the listener, focus on understanding the person speaking, his expensive and point of view, try at best not to interrupt. Generally, summarizing and validating is key. Do your best not to assume or project any meaning with what they just shared because it’s all from your heart.


3. Talk About All The Triggers:

Emotional damage is now very common because partners are not too cautious about the feelings or the other and they are really unclear about the boundaries set. Basically , try to learn and stick to the boundaries of your partner. Try linking and sharing all your emotional experiences with the emotional interaction between you. Try at best to be clear without any form of criticism so that your partner is more aware and understanding of this sensitivity and everything that might have went wrong in general.


4. Acknowledge, Accept and Apologize:

Relationships can easily be repaired when you can acknowledge what contributed to misunderstanding and miscommunication and take responsibility for your respective actions and offer apologies when necessary. When or where you were stressed or over-reactive, apologize and take responsibility. Give your partner time to do the same too. When all is said and apologies are accepted, agree to forgive and move forward.


5. Value Prevention Over Exhaustive Repair or Cure:


According to Gottman, the final step of repairing your relationship after immense emotional damage is to discuss and negotiate on how to do less of what caused the incident in general. Share one thing you could do to make discussing this issue when such issues arise in the future. Then, calmly, share a way your partner can do the same. Basically, relationships work best when you communicate and agree.


EMOTIONAL DAMAGE SUE

A lot of people sue when it comes to issues of emotional damage and/or distress. Although this may not remove the mental or psychological suffering. However it brings some sense of satisfaction that justice has been served. It depends on the level of emotional damage the victim has had to endure basically. But not withstanding the victims or family of the victim can be compensated with money. Moreover, the victim may be able to pay for medical bills or the cost of appointing a therapist they need to help deal with the incident.


CAN YOU SUE SOMEONE FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

Suing for psychological, mental and emotional stress is definitely possible. However, most states in the U.S., the case will only pull through when the incident lead to physical harm. Basically, it can either be direct physical harm to or even a sense of real danger of being physically hurt. However, in cases of sexual harassment or defamation, some courts handle it as a hot button issue. Because it contributes highly to emotional damage or distress.
When filing an emotional distress or damage cases, you’d have to know the types involved. Generally there are two main types:


A. Intentional Infliction:

When the defendant’s actions are deliberately aimed at causing mental damage to the victim. Then you can call that an intentional act and as such as the victim you can file an intentional infliction claim. Common examples are bullying and verbal attacks or gaslighting within the workplace or anywhere else generally.


B. Negligent Infliction:

Also, when the defendant unintentionally caused mental suffering or harm through an accident, the U.S. legal system classifies that as negligent and unintentional. However a case can still be filed. Examples may include; excessive abuse on booze and as such you kill a child when driving.


CONCLUSION

No matter how deeply you been emotionally damaged or oppressed, share your feelings, try to express yourself clearly and simple. When you express your feelings it makes you feel a lot better. But when you bottle it up, it just kills you from the inside. Basically, the goal is to make yourself feel better, safe and loved. Even though, you need to see a professional, do so for your mental health.


EMOTIONAL DAMAGE FAQ’S

Can I ever recover from emotional damage?

Yes you can, but first you have to believe you can even though it feels like you’re at rock bottom.

Can I sue for emotional damage or distress?

Definitely. But you have to find out what type of damage if it was negligent or intentional so as to determine the severity.

What is intentional infliction?

Well it is when the abuser intentionally inflicts emotional pain or distress to his victim.

What is an example of intentional infliction?

A popular example is domestic violence or abuse, gaslighting and bullying.

What is negligent infliction?

Well as it’s name it deals with infliction of emotional pain from the abuser to his victim but unintentionally or based on negligent behavior.

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