With the advent of technology and the internet, a whole lot has changed. People now meet, flirt, and fall in love using their phones and online dating applications. They have also transformed the English language, providing us with some new trendy words. I bet you have never heard of the terms, “Zombied” or “haunted” before— as relationship terms I mean. Strange right?
Yea, same here; had the exact same reaction when I first came across the terms. However, that wasn’t for too long. And trust me, it won’t be for you too as long as you hang on a little longer to that device.
These new terminologies are intriguing from the standpoint of relationship science because, as fresh as they appear, they are essentially referring to age-old dating habits. People have always ghosted, breadcrumbed, and zombied — just not as easily as they do now. This ease, as well as the prevalence of texting and online dating in people’s relationships, may explain why it is now necessary to use concise phrases to describe these behaviors.
You may recall the term “ghosting,” which refers to a situation in which someone you’re interested in appears to vanish. In reality, this means no texts, instant conversations, or emails – your attempts to interact are futile. But, despite the fact that most individuals believe it is an unacceptable method to end a relationship, virtual ghosting is extremely widespread. LeFebvre, a philosopher, discovered that more than 40% of emerging adults had both instigated and been the victim of ghosting.
The act of ghosting is not new; people have always vanished from the lives of others with no explanation. However, leaving town, refusing phone calls, refusing to open your door, or otherwise avoiding all possible face-to-face interactions is logistically more difficult than abruptly ceasing all Internet communication.
You think you’ve been ghosted, but then your ghoster reappears, texting and messaging as if they never left. Perhaps this person is not speaking directly with you but is lurking in the background, liking your posts, or connecting with you in other ways. Then they vanish and then return back again. The cyclic “haunting” behavior is similar to on-again/off-again relationships, which are detrimental to both the partnership and the individual’s well-being.
You’ve been zombied if the individual who ghosted you returns from the virtual dead in a more consistent manner. An ex reappearing and resurrecting a relationship is referred to as zombie-ing. In contrast to haunting, zombie-ing does not have to be cyclical or in segments, it could be a full “on-again” experience.
While the majority of people who practice ghosting do it as a long-term—albeit indirect—relationship disengagement tactic, others use ghosting to just disappear and may return later.
Haunting and zombie-ing are not new concepts in the dating scene. People have disappeared on each other, returned, left, and stayed for decades; however, due to our reliance on technology for communication, people can do so more readily nowadays. We can also give a general term to the practice.
This connection to Hansel and Gretel may appeal to fans of fairy tales. Breadcrumbing, also known as “leading on,” refers to flirtatious internet conversations that appear to be heading someplace — they are sprinkled, if you will, like breadcrumbs — but in reality, nothing comes of them. They are completely noncommittal.
What Should I Do If I’m being ‘Zombied’?
Getting zombied may be a painful experience due to the rejection and lack of closure, therefore it’s natural to be irritated if a ghost returns to “haunt” you.
There are several approaches you might take if a former flame wants to resurface in your life. The first option is to simply disregard your zombie. It’s fine if you don’t want someone in your life who didn’t respect you enough to tell you why they left. You are not required to react, and no one will hold it against you if you delete their texts or ban their phone number.
However, you may decide that you do wish to interact with this person. You may be interested as to why they ghosted in the first place, or you may have strong feelings for them and want to see if there is still a spark between you both. If you do respond to their phone or message, here are a few pointers to assist you in dealing with the situation.
#1. Establish Your Limits
Remember that this person already ghosted you. It does not necessarily imply that you will be ghosted again, but all you can assess is what you have already experienced. Talk it over with your ghost; find out why they went missing in the first place and why they’ve returned now.
More importantly, define your relationship’s boundaries and what you anticipate from that person if they wish to stop it again. You may eventually be ghosted again, but outlining your expectations ahead of time could save you a lot of heartaches.
#2. Take precautions
You might want to delve a little more into who your zombie is today, in addition to setting limits. If you haven’t seen them in months or years, it’s a good idea to do some research to find out what they’ve been up to. A public records search may disclose possible causes for their disappearance, such as a cross-country move, an arrest, or a court case.
The best-case scenario would be if this long-lost companion admits to doing something irresponsible by ghosting.
It could be enough, along with an apology, to show they’re serious this time and want to make things work.
Didn’t take long like I promised right? So there it is; all you should know about the zombie practice.
What is Zombied in dating?
Even if you’ve never been ghosted — or been the ghoster — you’re definitely familiar with the concept: when someone you’re dating or “talking to” suddenly disappears. This isn’t what happens when you’re haunted on Halloween. When someone ghosts you, but then reappears in your life as if nothing occurred, this is known as zombieing.
What is Breadcrumbing dating?
Someone who drops small morsels of interest — an occasional message, phone call, date arrangement, or social media contact – breadcrumbs you on. These occur seldom and usually do not result in any action.