Menopause happens at the end of a woman’s life, both as an individual and as part of a couple. It is nature’s way of reminding (or pushing) her that it is no longer worth the risk to have a child at that age. Is it, however, worthwhile to be in menopause while also in a sexless marriage? There are now cases of women becoming pregnant during menopause, thanks to contemporary medical knowledge and techniques like IVF.
Is it feasible for a couple to have sex throughout and after menopause, aside from pregnancy? Yes. After all, why not? Menopause and sexless marriage don’t seem to go together, do they?
What’s the Link Between Menopause and Sexless Marriage?
Although menopause is a fully natural process that affects everyone who has periods, it does alter many aspects of your body. As a result, sex during perimenopause (the years when your hormone levels begin to decline) and sex after menopause (which begins 12 months following your last period) will most likely feel different.
You won’t automatically have a sexless marriage at 60 (or 50, or whenever menopause strikes), but there are some reasons why it might:
#1. Changes in the body
Your menstrual cycle, particularly ovulation, is controlled by estrogen. As your ovaries retire, you’ll have fewer and fewer of them in your body. The difficulty is that estrogen is essential for much more than menstruation. It’s also involved in:
- Lubrication of the vaginal canal
- The flexibility of the vaginal canal
- Libido is a term that refers to the act (desire for sex)
As a result, if you don’t have enough estrogen, sex will be more painful and you’ll have a harder time getting in the mood.
#2. Changes in emotions
During menopause, many women feel as though they have no control over their bodies. Others are self-conscious about their appearance.
Then there’s the way hormone fluctuations affect your overall emotional well-being, which includes:
- Swings in mood
On top of that, there’s the typical issue of menopause sleeplessness, which makes coping with the emotional rollercoaster much more difficult (or makes you feel particularly sexy).
And, as if that weren’t enough, menopause tends to interrupt your life at one of the busiest times.
Menopause occurs at an average age of 51 years.
That means you could be at the pinnacle of your job, with older children to look after and possibly other caring duties. Without all the curveballs your body is sending you, it’s a stressful period, and it can damage your sex life.
Why Do Sexless Marriage And Menopause Occur?
Let’s have a look at what’s going on below.
Couples in a sexless marriage are missing out on that physical connection. There is a link between divorce and menopause, which is caused by a lack of sex.
Estrogen and testosterone levels diminish during perimenopause and menopause, as you presumably already know (but it’s worth repeating). The vaginal tissue may weaken and dry as a result of this, and the vagina may become shorter, narrower, and less flexible after menopause. When you combine all of this, you get painful sex. Not to mention the fact that you’ll continue to struggle with sex after menopause.
Consult your physician first. There are a variety of choices to explore, including lubricants, topical estrogen, a clinical treatment device (which increases blood flow to the vaginal area), and even drugs—though these medications can have major adverse effects, so, as not to sound like a broken record, talk to your doctor.
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Lagging libido is another sexual adverse effect of low estrogen and testosterone. Your sensitivity to touch may be reduced by a one-two estrogen/testosterone punch. When you add in other distracting symptoms like menopausal sadness, sleep difficulties, anxiety, and stress, it’s understandable why sex isn’t at the top of your priority list. What options do we have? So, perhaps it’s time to branch out a little.
Look to sexy films and novels for ideas. Add a sensual massage or lengthy oral sex to your new foreplay strategy. Experiment with novel sexual positions, particularly those that give you control over the depth of entry. First and foremost, enjoy yourself! Also, don’t forget to speak with your partner. They need to know if something isn’t working for you.
Can a Sexless Marriage Survive?
One of the many reasons why more couples divorce when one of the partners hits menopause is lack of sex, which is also one of the many reasons. Is it possible for a woman to live in a sexless marriage? Yes, but a sexless marriage can only last if both spouses are comfortable with it. If one of you isn’t ready to lock that door, it can soon turn into resentment, exacerbating any other issues you may have in your relationship.
How many sexless marriages end in divorce? There is no conclusive answer here, but given that nearly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, the percentage is likely to be even higher.
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What Effect Does Menopause Have on a Woman’s Libido?
Menopause is accompanied by hormonal changes that might lead to a decrease in libido. It also affects the genitals’ physiological state. This can make sexual intercourse uncomfortable and arousal more difficult to attain, naturally lowering interest. Why would women want to have sex if it was painful and unsatisfying?
Because these symptoms are easily treated, there’s no reason to avoid having a sexual life during and after menopause. Unfortunately, there is a paucity of therapy knowledge. Women feel embarrassed to seek help and are hesitant to do so.
Menopause also signals the end of fertility, and some women, even those who have chosen not to have children, may be saddened by the loss of this possibility. Others who are mothers may be facing the prospect of their children leaving home, and their job as a mother may begin to feel superfluous.
After many years as a homemaker, older women may feel devalued in society and their confidence may be harmed. It’s difficult to restart or return to work after a long absence. The ’empty nest’ can reveal a tumultuous relationship that had been hidden by the demands of parenthood.
These factors can lower self-esteem, which has an impact on libido. In this media-saturated Western culture, weight gain after menopause can also make women self-conscious about their bodies.
How Can You Improve Your Sex Life After Menopause?
So, what can you do if you’re approaching menopause and sexless marriage, or if you’re already there and want to make a change?
#1. Sleep in the same bed
Some couples believe that having separate beds strengthens their love. However, the majority of counselors would agree that this is a myth. Having your own space can sound appealing if you’re experiencing menopause symptoms like insomnia, night sweats, joint discomfort, or restless legs. However, if you’re already having trouble getting in the mood, sharing a room won’t make things any simpler.
That means both parties must:
- To create understanding and trust, they discuss their feelings openly.
- listen respectfully to their partner.
#3. Look after yourselves.
You should both continue to eat well, drink plenty of water, and exercise. Even better if you can find a new energetic interest that you can do together!
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help control some of the hormonal symptoms of menopause, but there are additional health benefits for both couples. Staying healthy means getting more rest, maintaining a steady weight, and lowering your chance of acquiring illnesses like type 2 diabetes as you age.
#4. If you require medical attention, seek it.
While vitamins and essential oils can assist with some menopause symptoms, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor if your symptoms are so severe that you’re facing a sexless marriage. A blood test to assess your hormone levels may be recommended. It’s worth mentioning that a lack of estrogen and a low level of testosterone are both associated with low libido.
While testosterone levels tend to drop a few years after estrogen and progesterone levels, it’s worth investigating whether this is a factor. Then you can decide whether hormone replacement therapy (HRT), other drugs, natural therapies, or lifestyle changes are the best options for treating your symptoms.
If your spouse is male and has issues that are affecting your sex life, it might be a good idea for him to see a doctor about male sexual dysfunction as well. And when you’re ready to go back to bed,
- Spend extra time on foreplay or snuggling without penetrative sex if foreplay is too much for you. There are many different ways to be intimate.
- Experiment with positions that give you control over the depth of penetration.
- Make liberal use of lubricant.
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Sexless marriage after menopause is frequently portrayed as a problem that women must solve. In actuality, it’s a result of a slew of changes in our bodies and lives that we should be better supported.
So, let’s talk about it and modify the way we think about menopause. Let’s communicate with one another and with our partners.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I turn on my menopausal wife?
- Change up your sex life.
- Take into account how your sexual function affects her sexual experience.
- Because her sexual desires change, don’t think she’s rejecting you.
- Continue to have sex.
- Consider the topic of sex.
- Make time for intimacy regularly.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- During perimenopause, help with contraception is available.
What a sexless marriage does to a woman?
It’s difficult to go through a sexless marriage. It can have a variety of effects on you, such as your emotional state, self-confidence, self-esteem, marriage seriousness, agitation, and so on.
Does menopause make you not want to be touched?
Following menopause, a woman’s body and the sexual urge may change due to the reduction of estrogen and testosterone. Women who are menopausal or postmenopausal may realize that they are less easily aroused and less responsive to touching and stroking. As a result, sex may become less appealing.
What a sexless marriage does to a man?
Lack of sex can lead to mental health problems, particularly when a man believes he is unable to perform adequately in bed while still meeting his wife’s sexual requirements. The psychological repercussions of a sexless marriage may result as a result of this. A sexless marriage can lead to depression and anxiety, which are common side effects.