Although physical intimacy in marriage is not the main factor that determines how happy marriage will be, it cannot be undermined. When sexual intimacy appears to be missing in your relationship, it can cause issues to like;
1. Anger
2. Lack of communication
3. Isolation in some cases
4. Infidelity in a lot of cases
This always ends in a divorce.
WHAT IS INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE?
First of all, what is intimacy?
Intimacy is this vulnerability, and comfort you feel around a particular person but in this case your partner. There are four major types of intimacy. They are;
1. Physical or sexual intimacy
2. Emotional intimacy
3. Spiritual intimacy
4. Mental intimacy
What is intimacy in marriage then?
Intimacy in many marriages is usually built on love and passion. Intimacy in marriage is the openness and connection you feel around your spouse. But it is the summation of all the types of intimacy that makes the marriage beautiful. However, it isn’t easy But for the context of this article, sexual intimacy in marriage is the sensual proximity to your partner.
NO INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE FROM HUSBAND
Emotions can easily be out of flux when your husband is a “no-show, no-go”. It is usually the other way around in most cases though. But when there is no intimacy in your marriage from your husband, it is a problem. Is he having confidence issues? Did you do something wrong? You have to ask yourself these questions before you conclude that he’s getting it from somewhere else to avoid being insensitive.
LACK OF INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
There are a lot of reasons that cause the lack of intimacy in marriage. A few of them are;
#1. Stress:
Is your spouse going through a lot of stress lately? Work can be so exhausting and starting the next day might be tiring. So this can be a factor in some marriages. Like I always say, understanding is the best medicine in every relationship. You need to understand before you act otherwise.
#2. Constant Rejection:
Hmm, this is a bit mental. The human brain tends to go into a defensive mechanism when dealing with constant rejection. Don’t do this to your spouse. Is there always constant rejection from you? This could explain why there’s sexlessness in your marriage.
#3. Resentment:
This is a little petty to me though. When sexual starvation in marriage starts causing anger or resentment towards your partner. Then, it is getting too petty. Ok, this is why I think it’s petty. A constant lack of intimacy in your marriage caused by anger for someone your partner probably can cause damages to your marriage. He/she will eventually feel sexual deprivation. As such, he/she can as easily start cheating or be lured into an affair especially when they have constantly apologized.
#4. Health Issues:
Your spouse’s mental or physical health could tell quite a toll on the sexual life of the marriage.
#5. Childbirth:
Women are advised sometimes to abstain from sex for 2 months at least after childbirth because of the needed fast recovery of their body systems. Also, having a child usually lowers womens’ sexual urges because of the stress of raising a child.
EFFECTS OF THE LACK OF INTIMACY
A. Distance:
This is usually the first thing that happens, partners start withdrawing from each other. Then, there is a little gap between them. However, things can escalate pretty fast from here.
B. If intimacy issues persist, divorce becomes imminent.
NO INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
A sexless marriage is defined as a marriage with little or no sexual activity between the partners. No intimacy in your marriage breaks the marriage. Deprivation from sex causes a lot of damage. Then, you have to work on solving it.
SEXUAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE
This is the same as physical intimacy which makes a relationship more than just a platonic friendship. Using a clock analogy, intimacy in marriage is what makes it go round. The first few years of marriage are usually engulfed with so much passion. But when kids start coming into the picture, if not understood can cause marital issues.
How to Improve Intimacy in Marriage
Don’t be worried. If you and your partner have lost that emotional, intellectual, sexual, or experiential connection, you may rekindle it. Here are five suggestions to help you increase every sort of closeness in your marriage:
#1. Look for new experiences.
As we discussed previously, intimacy involves more than just a physical connection. It’s also about proximity and familiarity. Keeping this in mind, one of the finest methods to improve intimacy with your partner is to enjoy new experiences together. You could, for example, collaborate on a large project like restoring or flipping a house. You might also consider adding a new addition to your family by adopting a puppy! If you aren’t ready to make such commitments, you could take a journey to a foreign nation and explore its depths together. These events are meant to test you—they’ll drive you and your spouse to work closely together, and perhaps even dispute or dislike each other along the road, all while ultimately strengthening your bond and boosting intimacy in your marriage.
#2. Take pleasure in your comfort and connection.
Everything is new and thrilling when we first start dating someone. As we get to know each other and become acquainted, we feel powerful emotions. However, the novelty and thrill wear off over time. While this can seem discouraging, there is a silver lining: the connection is stronger than ever, as seen by the comfort you feel in each other’s company. So, you can strengthen your closeness with your spouse by remembering the early phases of your relationship, admiring its evolution, and reveling in how at ease you are with your partner.
#3. Vary your routine.
On the other side, it’s also beneficial to vary your routine from time to time in order to reawaken those deep feelings. Go out of your way to surprise your spouse by doing something unexpected. For example, plan a weekend excursion and get everything ready to go—reserve a hotel room, pack your luggage, and fill up the car with gas. Spending some time apart might also help to break up your routine and boost closeness. There’s nothing wrong with making separate journeys from time to time. This will allow you to miss each other and will make you happy and excited to be reunited.
#4. Keep the lines of communication open.
We frequently do not make time to have a proper dialogue with our spouse, whether it is about our love for them or a problem in the relationship. Maintaining open lines of communication, on the other hand, can augment our efforts to improve closeness and keep the flame alive. “Relationships require ongoing work and can fall apart if there isn’t effort put in to sustain them,” Adina Mahalli, certified relationship consultant and sexual health specialist, explains. Small gestures can go a long way toward maintaining intimacy, and animosity can build up rapidly if communication channels are not open,” Mahalli notes. “Another technique to keep the flame burning is to know and explain to your spouse on a regular basis why you’re in love with them and how you feel about them.” Disagreement is an essential component of any relationship. It’s critical to be able to inform your partner about problems you’re having in a calm and courteous manner if you want to retain intimacy. “The quiet killer of relationships is silence.”
#5. Show your love and support frequently.
Make it a habit to show your spouse how much you love, care for, and support them. Many of us think or insist that our partners know we love them—but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t remind them on a frequent basis, through both our words and our actions. When your partner comes home from work, for example, look into their eyes and then kiss them. Inquire about their day. Fill up their tank. Make a charming note for them to find on the kitchen whiteboard. Find tiny methods to show them you care. This will help you enhance your relationship with your partner and keep the flame blazing permanently.
If you and your spouse are having difficulty connecting on an emotional, intellectual, sexual, or experiential level, your marriage is not doomed. Instead, if you take the time to reflect and put in the effort to keep the flame burning, it can continue to expand.
Intimacy In Marriage FAQ’s
What happens in a marriage without intimacy?
A lack of physical intimacy might reduce emotions of satisfaction in a relationship. A person may harbor strong sentiments of loneliness, rage, or hatred toward a relationship. In certain circumstances, discontent with your marriage’s lack of sex might lead to other problems, such as infidelity.
How does a sexless marriage affect a woman?
She claims that when one or both persons are unhappy with their sexlessness, they may experience negative sentiments such as loneliness, resentment, frustration, guilt, rejection, and inadequacy. Negative feelings and pressure are associated with sex, resulting in a sexual avoidance cycle. There is less transparency and connection.
What is a sexless relationship called?
It doesn’t have a proper name. Celibacy suggests a decision and does not reveal whether or not both couples are content. Anecdotally, there may be many more married or cohabiting couples who are happily or resignedly not having sex than statistics reveal. Asexuality is another factor to consider, and it has become somewhat of a buzzword.
