Being ghosted, stood up, or dumped by someone you have feelings for, romantic or not, is one of the most upsetting and traumatic experiences you can have. It’s especially upsetting when the person doesn’t explain why they’re ghosting. But how do you respond to ghosting?
There are a variety of reasons why someone might have ghosted you, whether it’s a friend or a romantic interest. Below, however, are emotionally intelligent responses when faced with this issue.
Those who suddenly stop communicating with you without explanation leave you wondering what to respond to someone you believe is ghosting you.
How to Respond to Ghosting
It’s difficult because while some individuals’ response to ghosting is to find an appropriate way of coping with situations, others can take it extremely personally.
Should you respond at all if someone is ghosting you? Well, it’s advisable to let go of the relationship with the individual who is ghosting you if you don’t think it’ll go anywhere or benefit you.
Whatever the reason, it only goes to show that anyone may ghost, regardless of who they are or what their background is.
You Can Respond To Ghosting In The Following Ways:
#1. Pay Attention To Your Emotions
It’s critical to think about how you’re feeling.
When a date doesn’t show up, the key is to focus on yourself because there may not be a logical reason why things went wrong.
It’s fine to go over the finer points: Is it true that we’ve confirmed our plans? Could I have communicated more effectively?
But, whatever you do, keep in mind that no one is flawless just because they have a certain title, background, or reputation. Every rose has a thorn in it.
#2. Recognize The Situation For What It Is
Every life experience has the potential to be a teacher. It’s not like you need a clinical psychologist to tell you that some lessons are more painful than others.
When disappointments or breakups like this happen, remind yourself that it’s better to know who you’re dealing with now rather than later when things become more serious. Although it may seem strange, expressing gratitude for disappointments like this can help.
Emotional pain can reveal areas where you need to improve to avoid future disappointment. To reduce the chances of self-blame, take this opportunity to establish solid dating rules and habits.
Consider what you might do to protect yourself if something similar happens again. Try not to lose your cool in any way.
#3. Clarify The Situation With A Final Text Message
Then wait and watch what happens.
When I say “wait and see,” I don’t mean “wait and see” as in “wait and see.” I mean after you’ve left a message, set a period for when you anticipate hearing back.
You want to give the benefit of the doubt to the nice part of you. The enraged part of you doesn’t want to waste an evening feeling unappreciated.
That’s serious business if you had a date planned.
Don’t call or text more than once, though. If the person who stood you up never responds, you’ll feel even worse, and if something legitimately went wrong, you’ll feel even worse.
#4. Don’t Go on a Social Media Rant
It takes a lot of time and effort to do your hair, choose an outfit, and apply makeup, and you most likely look fantastic.
It’s critical to respect your lovely self by not squandering your efforts or allowing your rage to escalate to the point where you tell the world what’s going on.
Remember that even if you delete a post, it leaves a digital footprint that is difficult to erase. Instead, phone or text a trusted friend or family member to rant and get some much-needed confirmation that your reaction is natural.
#5. Don’t Question What Occurred When Your Date Calls or Texts – Just Listen
When someone makes a mistake, they should try to make things right. It all starts with a justification.
That’s what people who are apologetic do. You don’t have to be the one on the receiving end of the begging stick. You’re aware of what occurred. They are aware of what occurred. You left a message expressing your desire to speak with me about what happened.
You played a role. Part of that mutuality is effective communication.
So, if you’re the one who’s always talking, that’ll set the tone for the rest of the meeting.
#6. Make a Mental Shift On How You Respond To Ghosting
Rather than going insane over all the possibilities, consider the possibility that you were ghosted for your own good.
Examine what you truly desire in a relationship and realize that you want to be a priority — something that the ghost obviously does not value.
Maintain that approach as you cope with the consequences.
#7. Let Go of it
It gets simpler to let go of the grief, heartbreak, and trauma after you’ve accepted this way of thinking. It will take some time, but the proper mindset will guide you on the right route.
Consider how much better off you’d be if you didn’t have this uncaring individual in your life.
Consider how much free time you’ll have once you’ve let go of that heartbreaking feeling of rejection.
#8. Speak With Someone You Can Trust
Instead of venting your frustrations on the person who has wronged you, confide in close friends or family members.
It’s also reassuring to know you’re not alone when you have someone to lean on.
#9. Take Time To Appreciate Yourself
Nothing is more frustrating than getting dressed up and having no one to compliment you.
Instead, take a few selfies; there are never enough excellent ones. Make a call to a few pals or get your favorite Chinese takeout, and then make a list of all your wonderful traits.
Keep in mind that you may have escaped a bullet. Someone who forgets a date may be the same person who forgets birthdays or fails to show up when you need help the most.
You may be unhappy that you won’t be able to spend that time together, but remember that it’s better to have one night of disappointment than an entire relationship.
#10. Keep It Calm
Anyone who doesn’t end things with dignity is unpleasant and selfish, but if you two haven’t been dating and there were no expectations, act as if you don’t care.
‘Hey, what’s up?’ is a good response. or ‘Can I assist you,’ as if you didn’t notice she was gone because you have your own life.
#11. Go For The Kill Right Away
If she contacts you via text or phone, simply ask, “What the hell happened?”
If this has had a significant impact on you, stop playing the games and tell her she owes you an explanation.
#12. Take A Page From Chandler Bing’s Book
That is, use sarcasm to make them feel guilty and responsible for ghosting you in such a manner.
Say something along the lines of, “Oh, see who has risen from the dead?” or ‘you didn’t lose your phone, did you?’
Sarcasm is a great method to get your point across while also making it clear that ghosting you was not an option.
#13. I’m Sorry, But I’m Not Interested
Say you see their text on your phone but aren’t interested when you don’t want to entertain them or their apologies, say these words.
Tell them that ignoring you like that is a no-no for you and that you’d rather be with someone who values your time and energy.
Alternatively, you could simply save your time and effort by not responding to their ghosting. Leave them unseen and don’t respond.
If you’re not sure if they had a legitimate reason for ghosting you or if this is a pattern, don’t let them back into your life.
#14. Do Not Go After Ghosts
You already know they’re not coming back. So don’t make an excuse for them or try to justify their actions. For example, their mother may have become ill, they may have been overworked at work, or they may be depressed.
Sadly, no matter what was going on in their lives, you were not high enough on their priority list to receive a call. Alternatively, you could send a text message. So put your phone away. If you have to, keep it hidden from yourself. Even if you’re desperate to find out why don’t contact them.
Remember that chasing a ghost is similar to chasing a shadow. That’s all there is to it.
#15. Do Not Converse With Ghosts
It can be embarrassing and nerve-wracking to run into someone who has ghosted you. When clients run into someone who has hurt them, I’ve seen them have panic attacks.
The best plan is to treat your ghost as if they were invisible. Don’t acknowledge your ghost or, if you can’t avoid that, smile and walk on past like they don’t matter at all. Stop talking or looking for an explanation; if you do, it’s a win for them.
#16. They Are The Center Of Attention
When we’ve been hurt in a relationship, it’s easy to blame ourselves, wondering what went wrong and examining our flaws.
But that’s giving your ghost too much power. It’s not about you when you’re ghosted; it’s about your ghost’s values and response to their ghosting operating style.
Your ghost has just given you a flash of insight into their style of relating in intimate relationships. I’ll run if things get too difficult. I’ll only do what benefits me. Is this what you’re looking for in a partner?
#17. Not All Ghosts Wear The Same Size Sheet
It’s worthwhile to consider the kind of person who ghosted you.
There are four types of ghosts, to put it simply. The avoidant ghost (conflict avoidant; will run away from anything difficult); the lazy ghost (can’t be bothered with anything hard including being fair/decent); the mean ghost (doesn’t care at all about others’ feelings) and the half-ghost (may float back and forth in your life; likes to keep options open) (may float back and forth in your life; likes to keep options open).
Ghosts aren’t always bad people; their actions are frequently motivated by a lack of motivation — they’re simply taking the easy way out. However, all ghosts have distinct operating styles that are shaped by their personal and relationship histories, as well as their values. And none of them are worth your time, energy, or love in the situation they’re in.
#18. Recognize That Ghosting Is Inconvenient
You’re well aware of this, I’m sure. It’s painful to be abandoned without warning or explanation.
It’s a lesson that we should all remember when we want to end a relationship. When you’re young and inexperienced, ghosting someone may appear to be the simplest — even kindest — way out of a relationship you don’t want to be in. But it isn’t: you don’t have to go into detail about why you don’t want to be with someone, but you should have the courage to tell them it’s over. Face-to-face communication is preferable, but a phone call or text message is preferable to nothing.
#19. Your Future Has just Gotten A Whole Lot Brighter
Even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, if someone suddenly vanishes without explanation, they aren’t the appropriate person for you.
They aren’t interested in you (or your feelings) enough to warrant your best efforts.
So let go – your relationship is no longer real, and the ghost will never truly be there for you. You can now go out and locate someone who is.
How to Respond to Ghosting FAQs
Should you respond to someone who ghosted you?
It’s difficult to know how to reply to ghosters because their arrogance is so strong. Of course, the easiest — and frequently best — option is to ignore them and pretend you never got their communication. You should never feel required to respond to a ghoster, especially if they have caused you significant emotional distress.
What is soft ghosting?
Soft ghosting is when someone ‘likes’ your last message or newest comment on their post on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, where you can respond to an interaction but not actually reply and continue the conversation. So, while they’re not ignoring you, they’re also not responding in a genuine way.
Do Ghosters ever come back?
After a period of time, the majority of ghosters return. They return because they have an opportunity, despite the fact that they have not officially dissolved their relationship. As a result, they take advantage of the fact that they may justify their return to your life.